[treypound]

Would you consider getting into a LTR with a woman who English was her 2nd language? What if she spoke little to no English?

[EndsExpect]

(12-16-2017 12:27 PM)treypound Wrote:  

Would you consider getting into a LTR with a woman who English was her 2nd language? What if she spoke little to no English?

I married a woman like this a few years ago. Her English level is now at a similar level to most college professors, although she still has retained her accent.

The lack of language skills and cultural understanding actually made her more forgiving of me back in the beginning. She honestly thought many times that she just didn't understand the language correctly, but now she realizes the truth is that sometimes I'm an asshole.

[the-dream]

I've been in LTRs with girls who English is their second language but they were fluent so it was a non-issue. The only minor possible downside that I can think of is that when she is talking to her family and friends, you have no idea what she and they are saying.

I've had flings with girls who speak little to no English and it is quite a special experience because if you are both attracted to each other, the sexual tension will be so high and the only possible way that you can relieve it is by ripping each other's clothes off. I guess it is the "aloof" game that people teach on here on steroids.

When you are out on a date with her, it will be frustration after frustration for both of you because you both make no sense to each other and are practically banging your head against a wall. Then when you get her back to your room and get inside her, it's like you've finally discovered a language that you are both fluent in and you can now understand each other perfectly and have so much to share. All the tension and stress of earlier is replaced with a wave of relief and euphoria.

There is something quite remarkable about being in a relationship that is purely sexual, not necessarily out of choice but because the only way you can communicate effectively is through your bodies.

For a LTR though, I don't think it would work for me personally. The magic would wear off after a few days and it would be tedious and very difficult to bond in any other way than sexually.

[PapayaTapper]

You kidding?....Being able to communicate about major issues but not have to endure the nuanced trivial female chit-chat where all the drama bullshit usually lives is one the benefits of dating an ESL girl. That and because they are generally an order of magnitude hotter, sweeter, more feminine and is why my last couple LTRs (including current EE GF who speaks 4 languages) have been ESL....personally I dig it


Edit: On more thought little to zero English would definitely be tougher and a case by case basis

[PapayaTapper]

delete dupe post

[treypound]

Good feedback. I have pondered it, and since I will be doing more travel internationally, hope this option could arise. I know only 1 guy who married a girl he met online (off one of the Latin America dating sites), and he moved her to Cali a few years back. He spoke very little Spanish, and said they would text to communicate in the beginning, but the sex was better than any he had before.

[WomenLuvDeez]

I will give you my .02. I have been in several mini LTR's in SA with women who can't speak more than maybe 10 words of English nor her family. Most of the time she is embarrassed to introduce me became of that reason and the fact that my spanish isn't on par as the rest of the country. But I still get lays all the time. Without google translator I probably would have had many of those lays or mini LTRs..

But, the way I lay the dick down they tell me they love it an sex I think is kind of a communication by the way you fuck them imo.

[ElFlaco]

Her English, especially listening comprehension, will get better over the course of the relationship.

[Synezthetic]

Sex is the world's universal language. That will definitely be to your benefit.
I agree with Papaya that it'll inherently amplify the meaning of the words spoken - no small talk bullshit.

It also establishes some latent respect - at zero cost - as she's always learning new things from you, the English subject-matter expert.

[Suits]

(12-16-2017 12:27 PM)treypound Wrote:  

Would you consider getting into a LTR with a woman who English was her 2nd language? What if she spoke little to no English?

Why would I want to date a woman who spoke English as a first language? This would almost guarantee that she is from a handful of countries where women are raised to think all men are assholes. Unless she's from Africa, no, I don't want to date any women who speak English as a first language.

[Monxp]

(12-16-2017 09:47 PM)Suits Wrote:  

(12-16-2017 12:27 PM)treypound Wrote:  

Would you consider getting into a LTR with a woman who English was her 2nd language? What if she spoke little to no English?

Why would I want to date a woman who spoke English as a first language? This would almost guarantee that she is from a handful of countries where women are raised to think all men are assholes. Unless she's from Africa, no, I don't want to date any women who speak English as a first language.

This. The better English she speaks, the more westernized I can expect her to be. Most annoying foreign girls I have dated spoke the best English. It's a red flag if her English is too good in a country where most people cannot comprehend much English.

As for the topic, of course. You would rule out most girls in the world if you wouldn't.

Second question is more personal preference, but yes, I like learning languages, and having a local girlfriend is the best way to improve it, so yes, no problem, as long as she's sweet otherwise.

[Laner]

When it came time to make a decision on having a family, almost all the women I had vetted for my shortlist were ESL.

Does it bother me that she has no idea about the latest SNL or Trevor Noah episode and feels left out when other girls are drunkenly trying to fill everyone in on why its sooooooo funnnny?

Fuck No.

[JimBobsCooters]

Not an issue at all, these days with Google Translate you can communicate even if they speak no English, while not ideal it's doable.

If you want a girl from a country with desirable female standards and ideals then you're pretty much going to have to cross this bridge at some point or get absurdly lucky in the west.

You will also be amazed how quickly a girl who really likes you will go from no English to advanced as well.

[Suits]

(12-17-2017 06:45 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

Not an issue at all, these days with Google Translate you can communicate even if they speak no English, while not ideal it's doable.

Or you could man-up™ and speak her language fluently.

[yankeetravels]

Come to think of it, I think my two most serious relationships have been with girls who don't speak English as their first language, my longest fwb too. Pretty interesting. One of the girls was an American too. All of them spoke English at least conversationally though, most fluently.

There were some words that the girls didn't understand, but for the most part we were able to communicate just fine. I might have to explain what something means or slow down my English every once in a while, but no major challenges. Honestly the biggest disadvantage is that I never knew any of their languages so didn't have a clue what they were saying when they spoke their native tongues. Also, cultural gap can be an issue if you're not prepared.

The idea of having sex as your only communication sounds intriguing, but I've tried to pull a girl or two that spoke no English who seemed to be feeling me. It's a fucking challenge to establish communication man. I couldn't close because the language barrier was too great and I never had experience trying to close a girl who spoke no English whatsoever. Some might have more patience or be better at physical communication, but in my experience, I feel like you need at least a little English to at least get basic communication across.

[JimBobsCooters]

(12-17-2017 06:48 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 06:45 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

Not an issue at all, these days with Google Translate you can communicate even if they speak no English, while not ideal it's doable.

Or you could man-up™ and speak her language fluently.

No doubt but that's a process that comes later or can be used if you're planning to hunt a particular country. If you just meet a girl in a foreign country then you need to do what it takes in the meantime.

I haven't found a way to become fluent overnight, that's for sure, it's a long and arduous process.

Google translate is good for initial ground breaking and screening though to discover if you want to commit the time and effort to learning a language for a girl.

[Suits]

(12-17-2017 07:48 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 06:48 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 06:45 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

Not an issue at all, these days with Google Translate you can communicate even if they speak no English, while not ideal it's doable.

Or you could man-up™ and speak her language fluently.

No doubt but that's a process that comes later or can be used if you're planning to hunt a particular country. If you just meet a girl in a foreign country then you need to do what it takes in the meantime.

I haven't found a way to become fluent overnight, that's for sure, it's a long and arduous process.

Google translate is good for initial ground breaking and screening though to discover if you want to commit the time and effort to learning a language for a girl.

Dude, if you're in your early twenties, there's still plenty of time to make something out of yourself.

If you're not in your early twenties and you haven't already taken the first steps to becoming the World's Most Interesting Man™ by learning one or two foreign languages, you're late to the party and clearly lack the mentality and personality required to actually acquire a second language.

Deciding to learn a language because you "want to hunt for women" in a particular locale is doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway.

[ShuaiGe]

Haha maybe I shouldn't answer this question because I'm totally biased, every girl I've ever been with except my first one English was her second language.

And besides, are you actually saying that you wouldn't date girl because her English isn't good enough?

Go for the lay and learn a how to say a few new swear words

[JimBobsCooters]

(12-17-2017 08:22 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 07:48 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 06:48 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(12-17-2017 06:45 AM)JimBobsCooters Wrote:  

Not an issue at all, these days with Google Translate you can communicate even if they speak no English, while not ideal it's doable.

Or you could man-up™ and speak her language fluently.

No doubt but that's a process that comes later or can be used if you're planning to hunt a particular country. If you just meet a girl in a foreign country then you need to do what it takes in the meantime.

I haven't found a way to become fluent overnight, that's for sure, it's a long and arduous process.

Google translate is good for initial ground breaking and screening though to discover if you want to commit the time and effort to learning a language for a girl.

Dude, if you're in your early twenties, there's still plenty of time to make something out of yourself.

If you're not in your early twenties and you haven't already taken the first steps to becoming the World's Most Interesting Man™ by learning one or two foreign languages, you're late to the party and clearly lack the mentality and personality required to actually acquire a second language.

Deciding to learn a language because you "want to hunt for women" in a particular locale is doing it for all the wrong reasons anyway.

I completely agree with you that learning additional languages is great. My example was purely in the scenario where you meet a girl and have no languages in common and how even that can be overcome and isn't a reason to avoid people who aren't native speakers or even speak English at all.

As for the reason one decides to learn a language, I disagree. Whatever reason drives someone to want to learn a language is a good one. Whether that's business, sex or just good old self improvement. Just like the gym, I don't care if someone wants to get stronger, healthier, look better or just goes there to meet people, whatever gets you off your ass and in their busting it is a great reason.

[kirdiesel]

I have had substantial experience with this and have had multiple LTRs with ESL women and I have also dated women who barely speak any English and I could only communicate with them in German.

I think its a matter of preference but I find a lack of English fluency HIGHLY ANNOYING for an LTR.

-You can't watch movies/tv together
-She doesnt understand music well at all.
- American culture is just totally foreign to her.
- Generally these girls are just not well traveled at all.
- They think to think "their world" is how the world works.

and thats just the tip of the iceberg. If the girl is fluent in English AND LIKES to speak it then I don't have an issue. But unwillingness or inability to speak English is a NO GO.

Dating and smashing is fine but its not for me for the long term.

[ElFlaco]

(12-17-2017 12:20 PM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

-You can't watch movies/tv together
-She doesnt understand music well at all.
- American culture is just totally foreign to her.
- Generally these girls are just not well traveled at all.
- They think to think "their world" is how the world works.

These sound like plusses to me.

[LowerCaseG]

(12-17-2017 12:20 PM)kirdiesel Wrote:  

I have had substantial experience with this and have had multiple LTRs with ESL women and I have also dated women who barely speak any English and I could only communicate with them in German.

I think its a matter of preference but I find a lack of English fluency HIGHLY ANNOYING for an LTR.

-You can't watch movies/tv together
-She doesnt understand music well at all.
- American culture is just totally foreign to her.
- Generally these girls are just not well traveled at all.
- They think to think "their world" is how the world works.

and thats just the tip of the iceberg. If the girl is fluent in English AND LIKES to speak it then I don't have an issue. But unwillingness or inability to speak English is a NO GO.

Dating and smashing is fine but its not for me for the long term.

Agree. Its fine at first but if the relationship goes somewhere and you need to develop a partnership it is quite frustrating to the point where some things you just don't communicate.

[Chiosboy90]

The girl I date now is Polish and we both speak good enough English to talk about almost everything. Sometimes when it gets deeper, I tent to "dumb" down the words cause I'm lazy, but overall its a nice change to speak German all fucking day.

Quote:

-You can't watch movies/tv together
-She doesnt understand music well at all.
- American culture is just totally foreign to her.
- Generally these girls are just not well traveled at all.
- They think to think "their world" is how the world works.

THIS

I would also add: "dirty talk and overall sex is more exciting in a different language than your own".