Credit to slubu for the original Oktoberfest data sheet, I'm going to use that as a base for this.
A quick note to start this off- Oktoberfest mostly takes place in September, keep that in mind
Lodging/Logistics:
You have 3 options for Oktoberfest lodging: camping, hostel, or hotel/Airbnb. I'll break down the +/- of each.
Camping: This is going to be the best value for you and also the one that will most likely result in the highest number of bangs. Stoke Travel is the best option at this point, although Fanatics also does camping. If you book 4 nights in a private tent and use a coupon code, you get 3 decent meals a day plus unlimited sangria and beer for 80€ a night (60€ for shares). Less than 4 nights you don't get lunch included, and no coupon code means 10€ a day for unlimited beer and sangria. Weekends at the campground reach 2500 people, while the weekdays can be as low as 200.
The disadvantage is you are a hike from the actual festival. With one transfer between a bus and train, it'll take you about 40 minutes. You are supposed to pay, but no one really does and it would be pretty bad luck if you actually got caught. You also aren't really allowed guests (although it shouldn't be to hard to find an extra wristband as described in my hostel thread), not that you'll be able to convince a girl to trek 40 minutes to the campsite anyway. One other disadvantage is that it can get pretty cold at night. I was sleeping in my jacket, jeans and shoes. Bring an extra blanket if you do this option.
Pro-tip: book in advance. It will sell out on the weekends.
![[Image: i1q3vgt.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/i1q3vgt.jpg)
Airbnb/Hotel: This will be all about logistics. You want to be as close to the halls as possible. Price will be anywhere from 200€-500€ a night, so ideally you'll want to be splitting it with a few people. For post beer hall hook ups, this will be basically your only possibility, aside from going to the girls place or finding a dark alley.
Hostel- hostels in the vicinity of the beer halls will be setting you back 60-80€, even for large dorms. I did this option my first Oktoberfest, and if you are going to spend that much money, I can't imagine why you wouldn't just do camping. Good location does nothing if you are in a dorm with strict security, so what's the point. Last year I did manage one lay there, but it took a lie and some good recovery.
Transportation:
From the airport, take the S1 or S8 towards the City and exit Hackerbrucke station. About 45 minutes or so to get in, you can buy your ticket at the info desk when leaving the airport. Cost is 10.60€. To get to the camping takes a transfer and there are a few different options, so google maps is your friend.
From the camp ground to the fest halls, there are 2 bus options which come by every 20 minutes. You transfer onto a train and walk about 10 minutes from there. It's a total of about 45 minutes
Like the previous Oktoberfest thread suggested and my previous data sheet suggested, get a damn SIM card. You don't know how many people I met that ended up going the wrong direction when they were drunk and ended up spending 40€ on a cab when they could have just got a 10€ SIM card. Additionally, one of the most common observations is that people didn't understand how big it actually is. 600k people can visit in just one day. Even if you know what tent your friend is in, there are 10k people to play Where's Waldo with, except your friend will be wearing a lederhosen like the rest, not red and white stripes.
Fest Hall Tents:
If you are planning to visit with any sort of group on the weekend, it's going to be tough going without a reservation. Typically this will be done well in advance and you'll prepay for 10 people at 25€-40€ each, which will include a full meal and a beer. This will need to be down by Jan/Feb. That said, see my strategy further down when it comes to where to spend your time and when, reservations shouldn't be necessary if you plan your trip accordingly.
Pro tip: Buy a lederhosen in advance. Amazon will set you back $50 or so. At the festival it will be closer to 100 euros for the lederhosen and a shirt. Don't be the loser without a lederhosen. Some people do costumes as well, although this is considering slightly insulting to locals.
I haven't visited all the tents, and the ones I have tend to blend to together eventually, but you'll want to spend your time at the ones stated below anyway.
Hofbrau tent: personally I have the most fun here. The draw back? It's also the tourist tent. People have a misconception that Oktoberfest is all tourists, but it's actually only about 15%. This tent shoots around 30%. It can be pretty easy here to pull, but it'll be Americans or Aussies. It's also the easiest tent to order a beer, as you don't really have to be at a table in order to do so. This is also the only tent that is 18+.
Schottenhamel: Assuming you aren't under the belief of this forum that German girls are ugly(proven false pretty quickly here), this is the best place to meet locals. It's known as the young locals tent, and will be filled with 18 year old German girls (although watch out, age limit is 16 and some days the high schools get out early so they can go to Oktoberfest.) Ideally you'll be in a group of 2 or 3 and you can look for a table of cute girls and ask to join. Similar to Vegas, Mardi Gras, or Carnival, there is a culture of no rules apply at Oktoberfest. This is also the place to be on the first night, as it's where the festival officially starts.
Hacker tent: A slightly older crowd than the above mentioned tents, this one is still a good time. Kind of a mix between the two, good, lively atmosphere and a nice mix of locals and tourists. This is where to be the last night, when everyone lights up sparklers simultaneously. I'm pretty sure it was here I saw the governator this year, which was kind of cool.
Kaefer tent- This one isn't for those of you camping, but is a great spot for those with a close Airbnb. It's the only tent that serves alcohol past 10:30pm, so it fills up quickly between them and 11. Expect to not remember everything about being here if you've made it this long.
One other tent worth noting is the Schutzen tent. They are the only ones that serve hard alcohol. Wine was available at a few of the others as well. Another note is if you stay at the camping, you aren't allowed in Lowenbrau tent, although hopefully the tensions will easy by next year.
There is also an "official" afterparty that costs 15€ to enter and is outside of the main fest area. I've never been so I can't really comment on that.
Beers are 10.60-10.80€ each for a liter, but you'll be expected to pay 12€. These girls will call you out on your shit for not tipping. The beer by law is minimum 6% alcohol, which catches up quick if you are used to Coors light or Bud Light.
Pro tip- don't forget to eat
Pro tip II- The white stuff everyone is snorting is not cocaine, it's a sugary menthol mix that opens up your sinuses
Girls:
The campground will be mostly Aussies, Kiwis, Brits, Americans and Canadians which are going to be hit or miss. There were plenty of hotties around though. Your main competition will be the staff. There was one instance where I knew the bartenders were into this smoke show who was sitting with her friend a bit away from the bar. I went to talk to her and it was going well, when the bartender walkie talkied his friend to call the girls over for a beer bong. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely out muscled from that point on, and damn if his timing wasn't perfect.
The majority of people at the tents will be Germans, specifically Bavarians. It's funny but people from places like Berlin don't even know most of the Oktoberfest songs. Overall the young ones are quite attractive. Obviously not all, but you won't be disappointed, especially with the outfits... the best part of Oktoberfest, best demonstrated with pictures, enjoy.
![[Image: dXG28BQ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dXG28BQ.png)
![[Image: kWSzpjB.png]](https://i.imgur.com/kWSzpjB.png)
![[Image: od0vBXS.png]](https://i.imgur.com/od0vBXS.png)
![[Image: YU8HsZW.png]](https://i.imgur.com/YU8HsZW.png)
![[Image: XWlI6CM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/XWlI6CM.png)
Even better, you know instantly if the girl is single or not based on how they tie their bow. Bow on the right side, single. Bow on the left side, taken. Bow in the middle front, virgin. Bow in the middle back, widow.
Strategy:
Ideally, and yes this is out of most people's budget or possibilities, you have an Airbnb close to the tents and a spot at the camp group. I had a friend do that this year and he used it to perfection. That said, I'll break it down by your options.
Camping (Sunday- Wednesday): It took a few days, but I think I got the timing about perfect eventually. Breakfast goes until 10, so wake up for that, then take a shower and get dressed. Let the free beer start flowing around 11-12 and plant some seeds with the girls. The campground is really social, it's almost impossible to have a bad approach, so chat all the good looking girls up. Stick around the campsite for lunch(only 5€ if you stay less than 4 days, free otherwise), until 3-4pm, then head down to the fest halls. If one set was doing particularly well, go with them. If not, go with a wingman or two, ideally one that doesn't get too intoxicated, story below about that. Then around 7:30-8 head back to the campsite, get the free dinner which ends at 9pm, and use the last 2 hours of free beer to make your moves. Basically every girl that is camping puts out, so don't bother with assumptions on a girls innocence or anything. As Aussies say, they aren't there to fuck spiders. A little bonus as well is there is a Wheel of Misfortunate, which results in a half decent about of girls having to run a naked mile (guys too unfortunately haha.)
For Sunday, and less so Thursday, both options are alright.
Camping (Thursday- Saturday): The fest halls are going to be packed, and the fresh meat will be arriving. Why not just enjoy the free food and free alcohol and plant seeds as they arrive. Sure, you can head to the halls in the early afternoon for a beer or two, but the good ones will be full, seeing as you'll be arriving at about 7:30am to get in some of them. About 600 people arrive to the campground on Thursday, and Friday that number goes up to 1100. That's hundreds of girls who literally flew to Germany to get fucked up, all drinking for free and all staying at the same place as you, does it get better than that?
Airbnb- with this option, just head to the beer halls whenever your heart please. I'd probably hold out until 3-4pm Mon-Wed, but you can always get lucky earlier in the day at Oktoberfest. At some point early-ish in the conversation with girls, mention you got lucky and found a perfect place on Airbnb really nearby. Maybe ask them where they are staying and they'll likely reciprocate. It'll be planted in their heads after that, trust me.... story below. Other than that, you'll just be running normal bar game, chatting up girls in the smoking areas, benches, maybe on the street at the festival. If you make the approaches it should pay off eventually. You'll also have an advantage with the girls that are camping or in hostels since you're accommodations are much classier.
With both options, know your way home. At the campsite there are over 1000 tents, it can be surprising hard to find yours. Additionally, finding the correct exit of Oktoberfest isn't as easy as it would seem.
I'd personally recommend doing a Fri-Tue kind of schedule so you can get busy campsite days and less busy fest hall days. This year I did Sunday- Thursday and was more than happy with the halls on the off days. I also didn't have any trouble finding a well located table.
Sights/Things to Do:
There are over 100 carnival rides to check out... everything from tower of power to a 5 loop Olympic themed roller coaster. Might be a good rapport builder or separation technique to take a girl to one of them.
I'd recommend the free walking tour or a biking tour. Yeah you are here for the booze and babes, but I think you can fit in a couples hours on a Tuesday for a history lesson in one of the most influential cities to the world in the 20th century.
Conclusion:
Fuck Christmas, Oktoberfest is the most wonderful time of the year. Everyone is in a great mood, drinking, cleavage is out for the boys.. what more could you ask for. Regarding my preference for accommodation, for the value and fun, the camping can't be beat. Unfortunately you probably won't get with a local out there. It's also nice having someone to go to the festival with, and if you have your own place that is pretty difficult to manage. If you go with a few friends, may as well do an Airbnb.
----------
Stories:
The first day I got lucky in that a friend had a well located Airbnb. We were at the tents and I could tell one girl, who, skinny with triple Ds was looking fine, was into my friend but he hadn't picked up on it. She kept subtlety mentioning he had an Airbnb nearby. I hit it off with her friend and at the ripe hour of 5:30pm, I suggested the 4 of us go back to his place. He went upstairs with his, I was downstairs with mine and a few minutes into banging, mine stops and asks if she can take a snapchat blowing me. Umm sure, but why? Turns out her friends, 7 of them, were having a competition on who could send one first. We took 2nd, all 7 succeeded. Sluts these days.
I met a girl at our campground who happened to be a virgin, never even a blowjob. She had been language exchanging with an Italian for some time and was going to see him the week after. I managed to convince her that she should give me a blowjob and I will not judge the way she does it at all, just give tips on how to make it better so when she sees him she'll know what to do. Somehow should took the bait and by the time she was done the lesson, it was actually pretty good.
Met a girl at the campground early in the day and went to the halls with her, her friend and another guy. We sat at a table with 3 cute Germans. The other guy in our group was getting drunk and creepy and eventually just started staring at the girls while they were talking. He got up to go to the bathroom and fell on the way out. I had to through him under the bus and make fun of him for being creepy. He was so drunk that he walked right by us and the German girls insisted I don't wave him down. We lost one of the girls and me and the final girl went back to the campsite, where she gave me a blowjob on the bus on the way back before banging in the tent.
The final day I never left the campground, planted a ton of seeds and one eventually worked out. We went through one condom and I was all out, she got pissed about that and left. Couldn't find her leggings until I was packing in the morning. Double checked the size to make sure my beer goggles weren't on, XS, all good. I got my annual hangover the next morning, sprinted out of the subway at one stop and projectile vomited about 2 liters of water into a garbage can. These two old German ladies nearby just looked up at me with the disappointment of Lee Trevino in Happy Gilmore.
--Idk how to add gifs, but anyway https://media.giphy.com/media/AyyJ82RCqtxKw/giphy.gif
A quick note to start this off- Oktoberfest mostly takes place in September, keep that in mind
Lodging/Logistics:
You have 3 options for Oktoberfest lodging: camping, hostel, or hotel/Airbnb. I'll break down the +/- of each.
Camping: This is going to be the best value for you and also the one that will most likely result in the highest number of bangs. Stoke Travel is the best option at this point, although Fanatics also does camping. If you book 4 nights in a private tent and use a coupon code, you get 3 decent meals a day plus unlimited sangria and beer for 80€ a night (60€ for shares). Less than 4 nights you don't get lunch included, and no coupon code means 10€ a day for unlimited beer and sangria. Weekends at the campground reach 2500 people, while the weekdays can be as low as 200.
The disadvantage is you are a hike from the actual festival. With one transfer between a bus and train, it'll take you about 40 minutes. You are supposed to pay, but no one really does and it would be pretty bad luck if you actually got caught. You also aren't really allowed guests (although it shouldn't be to hard to find an extra wristband as described in my hostel thread), not that you'll be able to convince a girl to trek 40 minutes to the campsite anyway. One other disadvantage is that it can get pretty cold at night. I was sleeping in my jacket, jeans and shoes. Bring an extra blanket if you do this option.
Pro-tip: book in advance. It will sell out on the weekends.
![[Image: i1q3vgt.jpg]](https://i.imgur.com/i1q3vgt.jpg)
Airbnb/Hotel: This will be all about logistics. You want to be as close to the halls as possible. Price will be anywhere from 200€-500€ a night, so ideally you'll want to be splitting it with a few people. For post beer hall hook ups, this will be basically your only possibility, aside from going to the girls place or finding a dark alley.
Hostel- hostels in the vicinity of the beer halls will be setting you back 60-80€, even for large dorms. I did this option my first Oktoberfest, and if you are going to spend that much money, I can't imagine why you wouldn't just do camping. Good location does nothing if you are in a dorm with strict security, so what's the point. Last year I did manage one lay there, but it took a lie and some good recovery.
Transportation:
From the airport, take the S1 or S8 towards the City and exit Hackerbrucke station. About 45 minutes or so to get in, you can buy your ticket at the info desk when leaving the airport. Cost is 10.60€. To get to the camping takes a transfer and there are a few different options, so google maps is your friend.
From the camp ground to the fest halls, there are 2 bus options which come by every 20 minutes. You transfer onto a train and walk about 10 minutes from there. It's a total of about 45 minutes
Like the previous Oktoberfest thread suggested and my previous data sheet suggested, get a damn SIM card. You don't know how many people I met that ended up going the wrong direction when they were drunk and ended up spending 40€ on a cab when they could have just got a 10€ SIM card. Additionally, one of the most common observations is that people didn't understand how big it actually is. 600k people can visit in just one day. Even if you know what tent your friend is in, there are 10k people to play Where's Waldo with, except your friend will be wearing a lederhosen like the rest, not red and white stripes.
Fest Hall Tents:
If you are planning to visit with any sort of group on the weekend, it's going to be tough going without a reservation. Typically this will be done well in advance and you'll prepay for 10 people at 25€-40€ each, which will include a full meal and a beer. This will need to be down by Jan/Feb. That said, see my strategy further down when it comes to where to spend your time and when, reservations shouldn't be necessary if you plan your trip accordingly.
Pro tip: Buy a lederhosen in advance. Amazon will set you back $50 or so. At the festival it will be closer to 100 euros for the lederhosen and a shirt. Don't be the loser without a lederhosen. Some people do costumes as well, although this is considering slightly insulting to locals.
I haven't visited all the tents, and the ones I have tend to blend to together eventually, but you'll want to spend your time at the ones stated below anyway.
Hofbrau tent: personally I have the most fun here. The draw back? It's also the tourist tent. People have a misconception that Oktoberfest is all tourists, but it's actually only about 15%. This tent shoots around 30%. It can be pretty easy here to pull, but it'll be Americans or Aussies. It's also the easiest tent to order a beer, as you don't really have to be at a table in order to do so. This is also the only tent that is 18+.
Schottenhamel: Assuming you aren't under the belief of this forum that German girls are ugly(proven false pretty quickly here), this is the best place to meet locals. It's known as the young locals tent, and will be filled with 18 year old German girls (although watch out, age limit is 16 and some days the high schools get out early so they can go to Oktoberfest.) Ideally you'll be in a group of 2 or 3 and you can look for a table of cute girls and ask to join. Similar to Vegas, Mardi Gras, or Carnival, there is a culture of no rules apply at Oktoberfest. This is also the place to be on the first night, as it's where the festival officially starts.
Hacker tent: A slightly older crowd than the above mentioned tents, this one is still a good time. Kind of a mix between the two, good, lively atmosphere and a nice mix of locals and tourists. This is where to be the last night, when everyone lights up sparklers simultaneously. I'm pretty sure it was here I saw the governator this year, which was kind of cool.
Kaefer tent- This one isn't for those of you camping, but is a great spot for those with a close Airbnb. It's the only tent that serves alcohol past 10:30pm, so it fills up quickly between them and 11. Expect to not remember everything about being here if you've made it this long.
One other tent worth noting is the Schutzen tent. They are the only ones that serve hard alcohol. Wine was available at a few of the others as well. Another note is if you stay at the camping, you aren't allowed in Lowenbrau tent, although hopefully the tensions will easy by next year.
There is also an "official" afterparty that costs 15€ to enter and is outside of the main fest area. I've never been so I can't really comment on that.
Beers are 10.60-10.80€ each for a liter, but you'll be expected to pay 12€. These girls will call you out on your shit for not tipping. The beer by law is minimum 6% alcohol, which catches up quick if you are used to Coors light or Bud Light.
Pro tip- don't forget to eat
Pro tip II- The white stuff everyone is snorting is not cocaine, it's a sugary menthol mix that opens up your sinuses
Girls:
The campground will be mostly Aussies, Kiwis, Brits, Americans and Canadians which are going to be hit or miss. There were plenty of hotties around though. Your main competition will be the staff. There was one instance where I knew the bartenders were into this smoke show who was sitting with her friend a bit away from the bar. I went to talk to her and it was going well, when the bartender walkie talkied his friend to call the girls over for a beer bong. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely out muscled from that point on, and damn if his timing wasn't perfect.
The majority of people at the tents will be Germans, specifically Bavarians. It's funny but people from places like Berlin don't even know most of the Oktoberfest songs. Overall the young ones are quite attractive. Obviously not all, but you won't be disappointed, especially with the outfits... the best part of Oktoberfest, best demonstrated with pictures, enjoy.
![[Image: dXG28BQ.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dXG28BQ.png)
![[Image: kWSzpjB.png]](https://i.imgur.com/kWSzpjB.png)
![[Image: od0vBXS.png]](https://i.imgur.com/od0vBXS.png)
![[Image: YU8HsZW.png]](https://i.imgur.com/YU8HsZW.png)
![[Image: XWlI6CM.png]](https://i.imgur.com/XWlI6CM.png)
Even better, you know instantly if the girl is single or not based on how they tie their bow. Bow on the right side, single. Bow on the left side, taken. Bow in the middle front, virgin. Bow in the middle back, widow.
Strategy:
Ideally, and yes this is out of most people's budget or possibilities, you have an Airbnb close to the tents and a spot at the camp group. I had a friend do that this year and he used it to perfection. That said, I'll break it down by your options.
Camping (Sunday- Wednesday): It took a few days, but I think I got the timing about perfect eventually. Breakfast goes until 10, so wake up for that, then take a shower and get dressed. Let the free beer start flowing around 11-12 and plant some seeds with the girls. The campground is really social, it's almost impossible to have a bad approach, so chat all the good looking girls up. Stick around the campsite for lunch(only 5€ if you stay less than 4 days, free otherwise), until 3-4pm, then head down to the fest halls. If one set was doing particularly well, go with them. If not, go with a wingman or two, ideally one that doesn't get too intoxicated, story below about that. Then around 7:30-8 head back to the campsite, get the free dinner which ends at 9pm, and use the last 2 hours of free beer to make your moves. Basically every girl that is camping puts out, so don't bother with assumptions on a girls innocence or anything. As Aussies say, they aren't there to fuck spiders. A little bonus as well is there is a Wheel of Misfortunate, which results in a half decent about of girls having to run a naked mile (guys too unfortunately haha.)
For Sunday, and less so Thursday, both options are alright.
Camping (Thursday- Saturday): The fest halls are going to be packed, and the fresh meat will be arriving. Why not just enjoy the free food and free alcohol and plant seeds as they arrive. Sure, you can head to the halls in the early afternoon for a beer or two, but the good ones will be full, seeing as you'll be arriving at about 7:30am to get in some of them. About 600 people arrive to the campground on Thursday, and Friday that number goes up to 1100. That's hundreds of girls who literally flew to Germany to get fucked up, all drinking for free and all staying at the same place as you, does it get better than that?
Airbnb- with this option, just head to the beer halls whenever your heart please. I'd probably hold out until 3-4pm Mon-Wed, but you can always get lucky earlier in the day at Oktoberfest. At some point early-ish in the conversation with girls, mention you got lucky and found a perfect place on Airbnb really nearby. Maybe ask them where they are staying and they'll likely reciprocate. It'll be planted in their heads after that, trust me.... story below. Other than that, you'll just be running normal bar game, chatting up girls in the smoking areas, benches, maybe on the street at the festival. If you make the approaches it should pay off eventually. You'll also have an advantage with the girls that are camping or in hostels since you're accommodations are much classier.
With both options, know your way home. At the campsite there are over 1000 tents, it can be surprising hard to find yours. Additionally, finding the correct exit of Oktoberfest isn't as easy as it would seem.
I'd personally recommend doing a Fri-Tue kind of schedule so you can get busy campsite days and less busy fest hall days. This year I did Sunday- Thursday and was more than happy with the halls on the off days. I also didn't have any trouble finding a well located table.
Sights/Things to Do:
There are over 100 carnival rides to check out... everything from tower of power to a 5 loop Olympic themed roller coaster. Might be a good rapport builder or separation technique to take a girl to one of them.
I'd recommend the free walking tour or a biking tour. Yeah you are here for the booze and babes, but I think you can fit in a couples hours on a Tuesday for a history lesson in one of the most influential cities to the world in the 20th century.
Conclusion:
Fuck Christmas, Oktoberfest is the most wonderful time of the year. Everyone is in a great mood, drinking, cleavage is out for the boys.. what more could you ask for. Regarding my preference for accommodation, for the value and fun, the camping can't be beat. Unfortunately you probably won't get with a local out there. It's also nice having someone to go to the festival with, and if you have your own place that is pretty difficult to manage. If you go with a few friends, may as well do an Airbnb.
----------
Stories:
The first day I got lucky in that a friend had a well located Airbnb. We were at the tents and I could tell one girl, who, skinny with triple Ds was looking fine, was into my friend but he hadn't picked up on it. She kept subtlety mentioning he had an Airbnb nearby. I hit it off with her friend and at the ripe hour of 5:30pm, I suggested the 4 of us go back to his place. He went upstairs with his, I was downstairs with mine and a few minutes into banging, mine stops and asks if she can take a snapchat blowing me. Umm sure, but why? Turns out her friends, 7 of them, were having a competition on who could send one first. We took 2nd, all 7 succeeded. Sluts these days.
I met a girl at our campground who happened to be a virgin, never even a blowjob. She had been language exchanging with an Italian for some time and was going to see him the week after. I managed to convince her that she should give me a blowjob and I will not judge the way she does it at all, just give tips on how to make it better so when she sees him she'll know what to do. Somehow should took the bait and by the time she was done the lesson, it was actually pretty good.
Met a girl at the campground early in the day and went to the halls with her, her friend and another guy. We sat at a table with 3 cute Germans. The other guy in our group was getting drunk and creepy and eventually just started staring at the girls while they were talking. He got up to go to the bathroom and fell on the way out. I had to through him under the bus and make fun of him for being creepy. He was so drunk that he walked right by us and the German girls insisted I don't wave him down. We lost one of the girls and me and the final girl went back to the campsite, where she gave me a blowjob on the bus on the way back before banging in the tent.
The final day I never left the campground, planted a ton of seeds and one eventually worked out. We went through one condom and I was all out, she got pissed about that and left. Couldn't find her leggings until I was packing in the morning. Double checked the size to make sure my beer goggles weren't on, XS, all good. I got my annual hangover the next morning, sprinted out of the subway at one stop and projectile vomited about 2 liters of water into a garbage can. These two old German ladies nearby just looked up at me with the disappointment of Lee Trevino in Happy Gilmore.
--Idk how to add gifs, but anyway https://media.giphy.com/media/AyyJ82RCqtxKw/giphy.gif