I'm a far bigger proponent of early marriage and kids when you are young - probably more so than most people on this forum. That said, there are something factors and risks you need to consider. Here is my journey and
story via this very forum.
Children are a great blessing, but also a massive responsibility.
I actually knocked up my wife at 18. I was 26 at the time. We BOTH wanted kids. What she didn't realize is just how much she would have to put on hold. Neither did I completely. You will both have to mature overnight. Most people in today's culture are narcissistic and really aren't willing to make the necessary sacrifices that children require.
Of PRIME IMPORTANCE concerning any child-rearing is the following: A Father and a Mother who are TOGETHER - much preferably married. The nuclear family is essential. A boy whose father is not ACTIVELY in his life is at a huge disadvantage and much more vulnerable to a life of crime, shunning his education, and overall falling far short of his potential.
Don't let that be you. Don't let your son or daughter grow up without their father actively in their life. This is why you must ask yourself if the girl you want to have kids with is the kind that wants a father in her kids life regardless of what fights you and her have or the status of your relationship. If you weren't together or divorced, would she demand full custody? Would she use the children as a pawn in fights? You need to find this out before you have kids with her.
A girl at 18 wants to have fun. She wants to go out and participate in the fun her friends are having and the "adventure" that you bring her way. When she is pregnant, most of that will go out the window.
We made the mistake of moving to another state for a while where we didn't have enough family and friends at. This meant we could rarely ever get babysitting when we needed it and there was almost no where we could go to get out of our apartment for a while.
Since I was budgeting hard, we ended up staying inside and watching alot of movies. Naturally, my wife grew very bored and frustrated that we could rarely every go out. It led to many fights. Often fights start over small things. The fact that I could have a beer and she couldnt? Silent resentment.
That exhaustion in the first few months of waking up every few hours to feed? Frustration and often a wife ready to go off. Now me and my wife have two sons that are 10 months and 4 days apart, so our amount of responsibility is far more than most, but currently my parents live 10 minutes away and we have babysitting whenever we need it, as well as friends we can hang out with and places we can go.
I can take her out on a date and help keep that spark alive. I wasn't really able to do that until a month ago. That "spark" is very important. It's what attracted her to you in the first place.
That spark requires a MASSIVE amount of effort on your part. You will be tired, exhausted from work, and not really wanting to do all the stuff and maintain that high energy level which made her fall for you in the beginning.
If you don't have a support network, everything will implode.
Financially, if you aren't well off, and don't have people willing to support you with both money and time, you are in for a world of pain and a relationship that will probably blow up. Many more fights happen because of finances than people realize - especially when you wife has pregnancy cravings for the 100th time and you simply don't have the money to oblige her. (Get ready for tantrums essentially.)
Do you have free babysitting - childcare is INCREDIBLY expensive when your kids are infants- you can have at any time? Family and friends that can buy you diapers, formula, and clothes? I can't begin to tell you just how much me and my wife's family did for us. Her grandmother probably gave us over 2000$ in the last two years and bought us everything from a double stroller and a swing to diapers, clothes, and bottles.
Not only will you and her have to want it, your families will have to as well. They will have to be willing to throw all their support behind having grandchildren. So will you relatives. Is that the case for you? How about relationship support? Will her family try to undermine you and yours? Where and how will you raise the child? With what worldview and values?
Before I dated my wife, I made sure she knew EXACTLY who I was. She knew about my RP beliefs, how I wanted my kids raised, and the educational choices and sacrifices I was willing to make. (No public schools) Have you hashed any of this out with her?
Can you handle the pregnancy rages and what starts them?
You think you know your woman, but
pregnancy is a whole other beast.
- Going out and having a good time with her friends and having a drink.
- The different foods and activities she had to give up. Did you know you can't go on water slides and at a certain point do regular running when you are pregnant? (All sorts of small stuff that adds up.)
- My wife wants to be a nurse, but school had to be put on hold. Constantly, she feels like she is doing nothing with her life.
Most of what you know "game-wise" doesnt apply to a pregnant woman. You can't dread game a girl when when she is pregnant - especially your wife - because it's during that time she needs the most support and you will have to suck it up, swallow your pride, and take all the shit she dishes your way.
Want to go out with your buddies? Unless you bring her along, that's not gonna happen while she's pregnant. You will have to ask yourself during this time, "How much do I love her?"
Will it be worth it?
It was for me. I have two incredible boys, who while are alot of work, are worth everything. My wife;s sex drive increased even more so during the pregancy - she already was/still is a nympho and I've had sex daily for pretty much two years now. The time I have to invest in other matters is flabbergasting, because I don't have to spend any of it trying to get sex. My wife gives me sex whenever I want it and hasn't refused me once.
Again, my wife is a needle in a stack of needles when it comes to sex and is deeply in love with me. Most women aren't like this. Also, we still have plenty of dumb fights - though I can
usually end them with sex.
I haven't even gotten to the part
about your kid(s) yet. Are you ready for changing diapers? Sleepless nights? Always putting your kids first before you own needs? My eldest is 14 months old, now walking, and constantly grabs everything he can. I have to literally walk with him 24/7. Are you willing to do that?
Now realize that you will never be quite ready for fatherhood or to be a husband. Still, you want to prepare yourself for it as much as possible. The rewards are incredible, but so are the risks.
If you have any questions, or want to talk, feel free to hit me up.