[raikate1]

What if you use a well known promoter who already has a big social circle of girls and get him to invite only the hot ones. You wouldn't have much control of the guest list but with the right guy this could pay off and save you time.

[Repo]

That sounds like more of a plan if you are throwing a party at a nightclub, rather than a houseparty. I for sure wouldn't want any promoter at my houseparty.

[Anarchist101]

This is an amazing write up that speaks volumes to me!

When I lived in Russia, I unintentionally became a party host. I don't know why, but I always floated the idea of just inviting a bunch of people (especially girls) over. So this data sheet both enlightens me on what was happening when I did have a house party, and on things I could/should have been doing/aware of. Since in Russia my roommate and I had the the largest apartment out of all of the expats, and my roommate was more interested in hitting on other expats vs. me talking to actual Russian ladies, we had great house parties with multitudes of interest. I hated it when people formed cliques (aka expats hang with expats, Russians with Russian) so this actually helped me by being the prime gatekeeper between both worlds. We often told guests they could bring along a couple of friends turning our house parties sometimes in 30+ people affairs.

Don't want to sulk on memories, but this is definitely me. I love playing the host, and I feed off the energy I get from it. When I move out in April, I will definitely keep this article in mind. I can mimic this down to the T, and have a great time at the same time.

[raikate1]

(12-19-2016 07:22 PM)Repo Wrote:  

That sounds like more of a plan if you are throwing a party at a nightclub, rather than a houseparty. I for sure wouldn't want any promoter at my houseparty.

I agree but if you wanted to do this in a new city and didn't have any interest in building a social circle from scratch it could be a much easier way to build one. But a problem would be finding a reliable one with high quality contacts.

[Arado]

Bump - time for more parties!

Just some lessons learned from last time. Party 4 months ago I pulled at my party because people were getting trashed, security never told me to turn down the music, and the ratio was solid till the end.

Last party a couple months ago security got on my case, people weren't as trashed, and the ratio became crap as a bunch of dudes showed up at the end and girls left early so no pull.

Any music suggestions for songs that don't have to be loud but still set a good vibe?

[FretDancer]

Great stuff Suits. Repped +1

Since you are in China, I would like to recommend and add to this datasheet a possible good location for throwing these kind of parties if you live in Asia and do not have access to a good pad, hot tub, kitchen, etc.

For example, here in Taiwan we have very luxurious and big boutique hotels like Wego. These hotels provide enough space for a 10-15 people party, rooms are heavily theme-decorated and provide karaoke systems, sound systems, Jacuzzis, huge sofas, and basically all you need for a good party.

I am sure Japan, China, and Korea have these kind of venues.



Another thing is theme parties. To spice the party up, you could choose a specific theme for the party (which indicates dress code) like pajama party (or sexy baby dolls for girls), and choose a themed room accordingly as well. Many possibilities here, and asians love this kind of shit.

[Arado]

(02-09-2017 04:47 AM)FretDancer Wrote:  

Another thing is theme parties. To spice the party up, you could choose a specific theme for the party (which indicates dress code) like pajama party (or sexy baby dolls for girls), and choose a themed room accordingly as well. Many possibilities here, and asians love this kind of shit.

Many of my friends have suggested theme parties to help the guests mingle and spice things up. Honestly, though, I hate being forced to dress a certain way that I'm not comfortable with and/or playing stupid games. Are there any subtle themes or activities that can be used that will give guests a commonality but not be too burdensome or weird in terms of what they have to wear or bring?

[FretDancer]

For a theme party, chosen themes should be themes that don't implicate complicated or expensive clothing.

As for stupid games, can you be more specific on this? When I mentioned games I was thinking more along the lines of Poker, Twister, Never have I ever, Cards against humanity, charades, etc. All very fun and normal games for a gathering.

Depending on the level of trust and current level of alcohol of the group, you could add more exciting games like strip poker or truth or dare.

[Arado]

(02-10-2017 01:17 AM)FretDancer Wrote:  

For a theme party, chosen themes should be themes that don't implicate complicated or expensive clothing.

As for stupid games, can you be more specific on this? When I mentioned games I was thinking more along the lines of Poker, Twister, Never have I ever, Cards against humanity, charades, etc. All very fun and normal games for a gathering.

Depending on the level of trust and current level of alcohol of the group, you could add more exciting games like strip poker or truth or dare.

Yeah, those games are fine though better for less than ten people. By stupid games I remember at one party I went to, all the local Chinese people were at one table playing cards and not socializing while the foreigners were in another part of the room having normal conversations. At another party we had to make paper lamps, was kind of weird.

For a 20+ person party, how do you get shy people to break out of their shell and connect with each other? For my previous parties, there were always a good chunk of people that didn't really know how to small talk with strangers (even though we all had common acquaintances).

Any theme suggestions?

[Arado]

Some additional things to think about when hosting large (30+ people) parties that I learned from recently hosting:

-Some people are introverts by nature and aren't comfortable with unstructured socializing. There are some simple, easy games that people can play to facilitate drinking and people getting to know each other - of course there is beer pong, and also jenga, and cards, etc. Have this stuff lying around and people can play with it if they want. Can also play an interesting video without sound on the TV, or something like that. Once I had some singers perform. One girl complained that she was bored at my recent party. I was tempted to tell her that it's not my fault she has no social skills, but actually a lot of people aren't good with small talk, especially in Asia. Why they would go to a party if they don't like/know how to socialize is beyond me, but there is no harm in making it easier for them. The one risk is that people playing a game get into a circle and don't mingle, but for simple and stupid games they'll get bored eventually but by that time they are tipsy and the ice has been broken so it's ok.

-The unknown guys problem is still unresolved. One girl I invited asked if she could bring a friend. I needed more guys so I said ok. That guy was at the party and he seemed ok, but, without asking me, he invited two of his other guy friends to show up. That I wasn't cool with - too many degrees of separation (a group of three guys that know each other but I don't know any of them?) and it's simply rude. I told them that that wasn't cool and implied that I didn't really want this group of guys here that I didn't know. They apologized and all of them left shortly afterwards. Was I out of line? As the host, you need to maintain control of the party and a maximum of two degrees of separation (friends of friends). I can't believe that I have to spell this out for people but apparently some people don't have basic manners and consideration. Perhaps they thought it was a fun and lively party so they could just invite whoever they wanted. I really don't want to go back to my no unknown guys rule, since the vast majority of guys that people have brought to my parties have been pretty chill, but one bad guy really ruins things. Sometimes I don't understand why some people have to be such a pain.

-People are unbelievably flaky. There were tons of people that accepted the invite but then didn't show up and didn't bother to tell me they weren't coming and didn't apologize afterwards for not showing up. I still had a huge turnout because there were lots of friends of friends, but I just find it amazing that people lack basic consideration these days. And lots of people canceling with unbelievably stupid excuses at the last minute. Anyway, point is that either choose your guests carefully to emphasize reliable people, or just be ready to roll with the punches and don't stress too much over who did and didn't show up. I'm guessing a lot of people wanted to keep their options open in case nothing better came their way on a Saturday night. Hard to combat that other than making sure the party is great so people know it's worth attending, or subtly calling out the flakers so that they know it's not cool. This is one reason I'm a bit hesitant to have a smaller, more intimate party - in those situations if there are a few flakes then it can drastically change the tone of the party.

-It's damn hard to find quality guys who will show up, not get super drunk, and won't be creepy. I much prefer having guys that I know and trust in my place rather than random dudes. However, since I don't actively game to meet dudes, there are only so many guys that I know and fit the above criteria, and on any given Saturday night there are only so many that are are free to come. I invited a couple of guys that came but didn't bring me any value, so I'm not keen on inviting them again unless they invite me to stuff. Lots of guys talk a big game about bringing girls and then show up empty handed so be ready to call them out. If you are throwing lots of parties, actively think about which guys will be a net asset.

-Ratios are hard to manage sometimes if timing is off. In addition to the above mentioned flake problem, at my last few parties there was also the problem of guys coming late. In the beginning of the party, there are lots of girls, and they are sober, and they get bored easily. Some of them leave early because they aren't getting hit on by guys and they don't have the social skills to entertain themselves. Then the dudes start showing up after 10/11 pm and soon after security is telling you to turn down the volume and the carefully planned ratio rapidly deteriorates till the guys are crowding each other out from the few remaining single girls at the end of the night. So get your guy friends to show up on time!

-This isn't the Donald Trump thread, but the link below is an absolute goldmine of a book. I took it out just as a joke and gave it to people to read and they absolutely started going nuts and taking pictures with it, regardless of who they like politically. Obviously, you may not want to introduce politics into the discussion but depending on your crowd, this book or some other type of funny, interesting book can liven things up a bit.
https://www.amazon.com/Quotations-Chairm...rman+trump

-Pay attention to some small details. Make sure cups/ice are conspicuous and easily accessible. Try to limit how many wine bottles are opened to avoid waste. Super simple sangria is very popular.

-Pay attention to ambiance. At some point it may be appropriate to make the music more active or quiet - you will have to make the call. At some point you may want to turn down the lights as well. I missed both those details and I think it costed me some hot girls leaving early because they wanted a more club atmosphere. Obviously this won't apply to all parties - depends on your crowd.

[Subtext]

I live in 600 square feet. This is not something I will be able to do for a while. But it was really informative and well put together. +1

[AneroidOcean]

(12-27-2018 07:52 PM)Subtext Wrote:  

I live in 600 square feet. This is not something I will be able to do for a while. But it was really informative and well put together. +1

It's not ideal, but you can have plenty of success hosting small get togethers that most of this data sheet applies to. Hell, most of my parties the people congregate in about 300-400 square feet of my place.