[Mufasa]

(02-25-2017 02:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You really want to know she's getting dicked down 3 ways till Sunday ?

GODDAMN IT KAOTIC!
its 10 ways till sunday TEN!! lol

[Tigre]

Sometimes the reason for her mood is nothing to do with you.

It could be any of a million things that is making her act like that.

If she doesn't want to see you that night, best to just let her be. Disengage and come back the next day.

Maybe she will be feeling better the next day after a good nights sleep.

Maybe she had excruciating menstrual cramps today, and tomorrow she'll be good again.

About the worst thing you can do is pester her into saying she feels good when she doesn't actually feel good. Pester her about seeing you when she doesn't want to see you.

If she has decided to go out with someone else or break up with you, you'll find out about it sooner rather than later. But it may be nothing at all like that.

So just chill and let her be. Neediness isn't going to improve the situation, no matter what is really behind it.

[XPQ22]

(02-25-2017 02:00 PM)Splord Wrote:  

I'm guessing she is young and young girls act like this all the time. They don't tell you a reason and leave it to you to find out why, they just feed on the drama it creates.

There were a few girls I dated in my early 20s who came to tell me directly that we were done and her interpretations of the reasons for it, instead of leaving me to wonder and find out second-hand (girls did that even in the days before text messaging.)

Because I had little game in those days, I would still get upset, and I feel bad about it now because I realize that those were some of the ones with a bit of honor and courage, or at least as much as any woman has.

[Dream Medicine]

(02-25-2017 12:12 PM)Hoser Wrote:  

Your point, Harambe?

(02-25-2017 12:28 PM)nidall Wrote:  

(02-25-2017 11:56 AM)Hoser Wrote:  

What's your idea of "LTR"? Was she your girlfriend? It doesn't sound like it. If she was your gf, did she know it?

What kind of question is that? Did you read my OP? We've been seeing each other for 2 years. Of course she was my girlfriend.

I would say it's a fair question considering you provided very little context on the relationship. After glancing at the link provided by Mr. Off The Reservation, I believe I'm not the only one who is questioning if, in fact, you had been banging this chick for the last 2 years or if she truly was obsessed with you. In order to bolster your credibility, I suggest you:

(1) Include more detail on this or any future post.

It seems common for new members to write out a few vague lines and then ask the readership for answers to a complex problem. However, without much background, the value of these posts and the meaningfulness of the replies may be limited. Many fundamental concepts are undoubtedly powerful when applied correctly, yet they are still generalisations and are therefore too broad to be effective without calibration in many cases. Instead, the best advice in complex areas such as relationship dynamics will most likely come from consideration of a highly-nuanced picture of the individual context.

(2) Reconsider your defensive attitude when given constructive feedback.

Notably, Mufasa wrote "Asking for advice and getting defensive is a slow road to improvement and will have many thinking your a troll" yet you proceeded to completely ignore the advice and became unreasonably defensive. It is unrealistic to expect that your life will improve and that people will provide you with nuanced, actionable advice if your ego/pride defence continues to stop you from receiving helpful advice. The truth may hurt now, sure, but stagnation will break you later.

(3) If you're also genuinely serious about improving your life - meet up with some men's group / RVF blokes in your area.

Not only can a real-life mentor and brotherhood do absolute wonders for a man's soul, but having a couple of RVF members verify that you-are-who-you-say-you-are will also ensure your future posts are taken more seriously.

In closing, I am confident that you will get more helpful feedback if you can respond maturely to these points. (Having said that, Kaotic and Tigre just hit you with some gold.)

(02-25-2017 02:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

[just what the doctor ordered]

[nidall]

(02-25-2017 02:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

nidall stop acting like an arrogant child and listen to the forum.

You aren't going to like the truth's presented to you.

I am listening to the forum and accepting their advice, but not those who insult me. I don't want to talk to people who insult me at a time like this. You're not helpful. You're just feeding your ego at my expense. Arrogance and immaturity have nothing to do with this. If you think this has to do with frame, balls, worldstar, telling off others, beating people up or insults you dont know relationships. I will be reading other's replies while skipping yours.

[nidall]

(02-25-2017 02:00 PM)Splord Wrote:  

LTR worthy girls don't break up like that.
Even if you didn't realize you did something bad or she just wants to break up, if she was good enough, she wouldn't do it this way.

As for frame:I think your frame was solid enough, you didn't use words like "honey", "please" etc., you saw a discrepancy in her behavior and asked about it directly.
In fact she texted you back after your "ok no prob".

Thanks Splord. Actually I may have distanced myself a bit from her because I'm going through some issues myself. But I still stuck with her despite them.

[nidall]

.
XPQ22,

I sent you a pm.. Let me know! Thanks.

[kaotic]

(02-25-2017 02:34 PM)nidall Wrote:  

(02-25-2017 02:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

nidall stop acting like an arrogant child and listen to the forum.

You aren't going to like the truth's presented to you.

I am listening to the forum and accepting their advice, but not those who insult me. I don't want to talk to people who insult me at a time like this. You're not helpful. You're just feeding your ego at my expense. Arrogance and immaturity have nothing to do with this. If you think this has to do with frame, balls, worldstar, telling off others, beating people up or insults you dont know relationships. I will be reading other's replies while skipping yours.

It's not insulting to point out weakness in ones game.

I get called out constantly if I fuck up.

Your girl is probably getting dicked down by another guy, yet here you are fighting all of us and trying to find out what's going on with her.

I'm not beating anyone up, I'm showing you the truth in your flaws, I HAVE FLAWS ALSO.

I do know relationships actually, one of the hardest decisions in my life was dumping a serious contender.




I think you need talk about your issues you mentioned.

[ExploringReality]

After two instances of " I will be reading other's replies while skipping yours " I decided to share these words of Hesiod, that just today I re-discovered thanks to our friend Aristotle:
"That man is altogether best who considers all things himself and marks what will be better afterwards and at the end; and he, again, is good who listens to a good adviser; but whoever neither thinks for himself nor keeps in mind what another tells him, he is an unprofitable man.".

[nidall]

(02-25-2017 02:00 PM)Splord Wrote:  

As for frame:I think your frame was solid enough, you didn't use words like "honey", "please" etc., you saw a discrepancy in her behavior and asked about it directly.
In fact she texted you back after your "ok no prob".

Appreciate it Splord. Good knowing there are some smart guys on this forum who have the intelligence to discern this.

[Harami]

Harami harambe, hoser poser, dream medicine bleam medicine, "bleam me up, Scotty!" You won't get it.
Hoser the major
Dream medicine cream manipedi
Just trying to satisfy my ego ._.
Aloha!

[kaotic]

(02-25-2017 02:59 PM)nidall Wrote:  

(02-25-2017 02:00 PM)Splord Wrote:  

As for frame:I think your frame was solid enough, you didn't use words like "honey", "please" etc., you saw a discrepancy in her behavior and asked about it directly.
In fact she texted you back after your "ok no prob".

Appreciate it Splord. Good knowing there are some smart guys on this forum who have the intelligence to discern this.

Once again passive aggressive, and dissing other valued members trying to give you advice.

I'm not sure how ones frame in a text is solid enough when you say

"Did I do something wrong?" - weak frame/questioning

"ur not the only one" - passive aggressive

"if you don't want to see me whatever...bye" - passive aggressive


Splord is right, you did directly ask her about it, which is good....in a sense.

But look how it ended.....


If you keep prodding her, she'll get more pissed, at this point all you should do now is leave it alone.

[nidall]

(02-25-2017 02:21 PM)Tigre Wrote:  

Sometimes the reason for her mood is nothing to do with you.

It could be any of a million things that is making her act like that.

If she doesn't want to see you that night, best to just let her be. Disengage and come back the next day. Pester her about seeing you when she doesn't want to see you.

If she has decided to go out with someone else or break up with you, you'll find out about it sooner rather than later. But it may be nothing at all like that.

So just chill and let her be. Neediness isn't going to improve the situation, no matter what is really behind it.

Hi Tigre,

Appreciate the reply. That's what many people say too. But no one is sure this is the case. I'm not pestering her though, FYI. All in all I just wish I knew why she acting like this. Always good to get positive replies like yours. Looking forward to your next response, Thanks!

[brick tamland]

Your name IRL is Chris?

Anyway not enough facts for a more precise opinion. She's probably had reservations about something you've been doing/have done, and you didn't pick up that there was a problem.

OR...

She's nexting you.

Piece of advice - girls in LTRs don't stop talking to other guys. Girls never take themselves off the market. They'll go for the next guy who offers them more than you.
Something similar happened to me last November.

[AtyourCervix]

Damn, you really acted like you were in need. Time to next her.

[realologist]

I'm banging her. Don't worry, I'll make sure to send her back to you when I'm done.

[Hoser]

OP, you have enough advice already. This is called being given the cold shoulder. In response, everyone has told you to either (1) slap the slut or (2) ditch the bitch.

Option 1 means STOP TRYING to fix this by some magic words or actions. You'll only disgust her with your neediness and drive her farther away. Let your silence be your response, or, if you must, say something VERY short that lets her know she doesn't get to pull your strings. Maybe she'll come around. Maybe she really is into another guy but he won't last long. Maybe she's a goner. Either way, stand up straight, be a man, and preserve your dignity.

Option 2 means use this as a lesson and just move on. Sometimes the only answer is "because female". There's no reason behind what they do sometimes. Yes, it hurts, but it won't cripple you unless you let it.

[Ringo]

(02-25-2017 10:05 AM)nidall Wrote:  

Me: are you ok?
Her: I'm ok
Me: u never text.. strange of u.. lets go out tonite.
Her: I dont feel like going out tonite.
Me: sounds like u dont want to see me.
Her: youre a genius.
Me: did I do smg wrong to u?
Her: No. I just dont want to go out tonite.
Me: ok no prob
Her: hows ur day
Me: good. I went to the park at lunch break. and ur day?
Her: I enjoyed the weather.
Me: ur not the only one who did.
Her: i know. Have a nice nite Chris.
Me: if you dont want to see me whatever.. bye.

You wanna know where you really fucked up?

If you felt something was off, you should have called rather than texted, specially after her first reply.

People spend too much time analyzing shit. That's 1% of game.

The other 99% is covering basics. Like:

If you have bad logistics, chances of bringing a girl home go down.

If you want a girl who is not a gold digger, don't pop bottles and make it rain in the VIP.

If you're interested in a girl, don't smother her - make her want you.

If you sense something is wrong, CALL rather than text.

It's so fucking simple but we sometimes need to be reminded of it.

[Off The Reservation]

Nidall, How come you didn't answer my question if you are still unemployed? You don't think it matters to girls (of even slight quality) or to yourself that you are in your 40s and live at home living off your parents ? Unemployed for 4 years? What possible excuse can a man who is physically able to move have for not working for 4 years? I for one don't understand it. Clearly that's your choice, but don't pretend you are interested in improving without solving that, its TOTAL BULLSHIT and we all see it. You take up the time and energy of well intentioned posters who just want to help guys out. Instead of answering the replies you get, you just make new threads when the going gets tough. You are like the forum's welfare recipient who uses five different id's to collect welfare at different offices.

You can create 100 or 1000 new threads and as long as you keep stepping on the ones that point out the obvious then what's the point.

I for one will not answer you any more and participate in your silly game of repudiation of common sense.

Explain this Weird Behavior from this Girl ( 1 2 )
Good Excuse to Cover My Ass Since I'm Unemployed? ( 1 2 )
Conceited Fine Girls Ignoring Me - Need Your Advice ( 1 2 3 4 )
Strange Phenomenon Between Girls & Employment
Stuck Getting Laid - Need Help Getting Girls to Come Home w/ Me
Need Recommendations on Books on Inner Game
Need Help with Conversing with Girls
What If a Girl Asks If you Live Alone - But You Say You Don't
Are Pickup Lines Better than Openers?
Girl Tested Me -- How Should I Have Replied?
Weirdo Girl with Weirdo Intentions
Can Someone Help with Reflashing BIOS?
Unable to Create Connection w/ Girls - I'm Dying! ( 1 2 )
Need to Cover Gaps on My Resume Fast ( 1 2 )
How to Game a Girl as She Enters a Store?
Is the Cube Too Old to Use Nowadays?

[Comte De St. Germain]

Why is always that low value newbies that don't accept good advice literally thrown at them have 50 or so threads started about their life issues. So answer Off the Reservation's valid comment. You're clearly a person who has/had lots of life issues. Something that is correlated quite highly with a person with no game. If you can't fix your own house how do you expect to keep that mediocre 5 you were "dating" around while complaining about "conceited fine girls".

Also Mufasa and Kaotic are on the money. Your frame is bad, your game is bad, and you need to get out of your own head then listen to the advice being given to you.


And to add on to their comments. You're exactly the kind of guy who simps hardcore because they think a chick is in love with them because of a few texts. Get over it you were replaceable. Just as she is, but thankfully guys like you don't realize that or it would ruin women even further for the rest of us.

[Napoleon3]

Damn. Been reading this forum for many moons but the profound knowledge of many of the posters still amazes me

Take heed OP and stop being cunty -there's some real things you could learn from these 2 pages

[eradicator]

(02-25-2017 01:43 PM)nidall Wrote:  

(02-25-2017 12:59 PM)ExploringReality Wrote:  

There might be something you did, there might be not. Girls are like this.

The text you want to send is really bad by the way. You are putting all the weight over your shoulders, blaming yourself basically. If anything, this will worsen things.

Hi ExploringReality,

The poster abover you suggested getting the truth in person. But what text do you suggest would be better? I want to know why she's like this all of a sudden. But I'd like to give her space if there's a way to get her back too.

Let me know what text you had in mind. Thanks.

What would be better would be if you forgot about this girl all together and started talking to other girls, she has already nexted you. You can join a kickball league. Join some meetup groups on meetup.com like co-ed volleyball. Meet some people and learn some game if you aren't ready to be approaching at grocery stores. But the only thing you can do here is move on. You will likely never get an answer as to why she moved on, but she clearly already lost all interest in you.

[Harami]

just for the sake of it, use your neediness to your advantage, next time you see her put on the act of the most beta chump and then out of nowhere, give her 5 across the face, you wanna hear the sound. Then you can say it was an accident but don't apologize just say my bad. Of course you could do it without any act like an alpha and because you have 2 yr long history maybe you even get away with it.
If this sounds like a bad idea and you're a nice guy, then be a decent guy and move on. You are on RVF, why the fvck are you not approaching and closing for your pleasure? For the job part, fvck jobs. Be self employed. Steal some money and invest it in your drug business.

[RatInTheWoods]

(02-25-2017 10:49 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

You came off as ultra-needy in that exchange. Also seems like a conversation between eight year olds.

Quote:

Me: sounds like u dont want to see me.
Her: youre a genius.

Assuming she has no legitimate reason on your side to be angry (does she?) it's a very hostile response when you seemed to be being perfectly civil - worthy of a "soft next" immediately, right there. Wow, hold up bitch, whaaaat? You come hit me up when you've figured out whatever your issue is, lady. Talking time is over for now.

Try to keep your frame, even with LTRs, because that exchange was what I'd call "frame free."

This girl would've come running back in two days apologizing if you'd simply said, in essence: "I'm sorry you're unhappy right now, but I don't need to take abuse from you" then ghosted her ass.

Also keep in mind that if she was "obsessed" with you for as long as you say she was, and then treats you in this fashion, then at some level you have to recognize that you didn't actually know what you were dealing with. If she keeps on in this way, whether it was because she met another guy or who knows, understand that what you're dealing with now was probably the real bitch all along, not the starry-eyed clinger.

In my own experience once a branch-swinger starts the discard process in favor of a new target, and becomes abusive there's no going back. No amount of kind words or empathy will ever pull the old girl out.

Bam. XPQ22 has laid it all out for you right here. 100% agree with his insightful analysis.

Read it five times OP.

Practical advice from me: DO NOT CONTACT her again.

She will either not contact you - It could never be saved anyway (gone off you or more likely found another dude)

She will contact you - you can make her apologise and make it up to you.

You have more chance of her apologising and coming back to you if you show some balls and ghost her ass.

You have more chance of pushing her away if you are a weak pussy that begs for her.

If you take my advice, whatever the outcome you keep your dignity.

[kaotic]

Looks like he'll be reading other thread's while skipping his own when being called out.