Hey guys, I need advice on the following situation which has just cropped up: I met up with a girl in early December last year (early thirties, academic at university) after a mutual friend introduced us via e-mail. This girl’s currently writing a Ph.D., but in English and wanted somebody to go through a part of it and give her some feedback on her use of English. Anyway, when I turn up in the cafe to meet this girl for the first time, she’s quite nice-looking (a solid 7) although a little austere, in the typical manner of many north German girls. We spend a good couple of hours chatting about what we’re up to in our lives at the moment but I get the impression that this girl is much more focused on recruiting me as a chump who’ll copy-edit her thesis for free, rather than as a potential boyfriend/fuck buddy. After the first meeting, I send her an e-mail a couple of days later asking her out to the Christmas market and for a drink, but she fobs me off with the excuse that she’s too busy. A week later, I fire off another mail, asking her out again: The same story, but this time telling me that she’ll be busy for the whole of December but that we could meet up in January/February. I don’t bother responding to her anymore and mentally next her but have a sneaking feeling that when she’s written more work for her thesis she’ll come crawling back out of the woodwork again, asking me to meet up. Sure enough, this is what happened a couple of days ago and my dilemma is now, what to do? I’ve already agreed to meet up with her on Saturday for „a coffee and a walk“, so that bit is settled.
On the one hand, she passes the boner test with flying colours (i.e. perfectly slim, leggy, quite elegant, et.c.) and I desperately need to get laid given that I’m languishing in a 3 year dry spell. On the other hand, I feel acutely the risk that she’ll try to use me for a task that would otherwise cost her big bucks if she had to pay out of her own pocket.
On the other hand, part of is hoping - probably foolishly - that she might be interested in hooking up, too. She told me when we meet that her ex was doing research in the same area as me at university, which she found somewhat curious.
Is there a way of finding out whether this girl’s just a time-waster and only interested in getting a free copy-editing job out of me, but without any intention to pay out sexually? My thinking thus far is to escalate on the second date and use this as the test to decide the matter.
What do you guys think?
On the one hand, she passes the boner test with flying colours (i.e. perfectly slim, leggy, quite elegant, et.c.) and I desperately need to get laid given that I’m languishing in a 3 year dry spell. On the other hand, I feel acutely the risk that she’ll try to use me for a task that would otherwise cost her big bucks if she had to pay out of her own pocket.
On the other hand, part of is hoping - probably foolishly - that she might be interested in hooking up, too. She told me when we meet that her ex was doing research in the same area as me at university, which she found somewhat curious.
Is there a way of finding out whether this girl’s just a time-waster and only interested in getting a free copy-editing job out of me, but without any intention to pay out sexually? My thinking thus far is to escalate on the second date and use this as the test to decide the matter.
What do you guys think?