[PapayaTapper]

(02-13-2017 04:26 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-13-2017 03:23 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

@Birthday Cat - no this is a site for MEN, so OP should understand we are trying to help him.

I am beyond curious as to what the conversation would have been on the first date.

I have a feeling it was like two pen pals talking and meeting for the first time.

I appreciate the blunt honesty of Birthday Cat's post, but it misses the point with this girl, since she was exclusively looking at me through the lens of me being a useful mug who would correct her English work. All attempts at kino, playful teasing, et.c., weren't getting me anywhere with this girl. To suggest, as some posters have done, that I should have gone in hard and heavy, doesn't take into account that this girl was putting up very clear boundaries regarding what she wanted me for.

The general point of Birthday Cat, that it's my general mindset that needs to change, is, I grudgingly admit, correct.

Today, something snapped in me and I went on a daygame spree in Leipzig - I hit the bookstores, two of the malls, the supermarkets, the shoe shop and even worked the trams and have only just come back home. I surprised myself with the results, in that they shone a bright light on how stuck in my own head I had become. Even though I broke through my approach anxiety barrier again today, my main sticking point with daygame, I've come to realize, is that even when the interaction is going well, I bail out too quickly, as if I'm cashing my chips in while I'm ahead, as idiotic as that must sound to those reading this.

The last girl I approached, probably mid-20s, tall, was a little overweight but otherwise a solid 6 with some nice curves. I noticed that she was wearing laddered black tights so I eventually saunter up to her and ask her, "So, what happened to your tights, then? Did you have a run in with your cats?". At first she was taken aback a little that I'd opened her, but when she realized, after a few more questions and general banter, that I was flirting with her, I could see how her face was lighting up. Being the total fucking idiot that I am, I bailed before pushing the interaction any further, for reasons which I have yet to fully work out myself. I'm still kicking myself now.

The one thing that's become blindingly clear to me over the last few days is I'm not approaching women in anywhere near the numbers I need to. This is the reason I'm now making daygame my number one priority.

But thanks guys for your support. I accept that I'm stubborn and often seem to turn a deaf ear - although that also has its good sides, too - but some of what's been said on here in response to my experiences I've had difficulty processing.

[rudebwoy]

The 6 with the tights would have been the perfect slump buster.

Confidence my friend, it comes with experience.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(02-13-2017 05:15 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

The 6 with the tights would have been the perfect slump buster.

Confidence my friend, it comes with experience.

As I said in my last post, I'm still kicking myself about not taking that interaction to its logical conclusion. But I'll be visiting the supermarket where I saw tatty tights girl in the future, so I might still get the chance to see her again. If I do, I know what to say to connect with her again and will try not to balls it up again next time.

I'm on a 7-day no-fap streak and this has definitely put some fire in my belly today, combined with working out, that's given me the confidence to just push forward and cut through the crap in my own head to the job done, at least as far as the initial approach is concerned.

I'll be keeping up the momentum tomorrow with a new session of daygame at various venues in town and just hope that it won't be too long until I have something of substance to report back on.

[birthday cat]

(02-13-2017 04:26 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

I appreciate the blunt honesty of Birthday Cat's post, but it misses the point with this girl, since she was exclusively looking at me through the lens of me being a useful mug who would correct her English work. All attempts at kino, playful teasing, et.c., weren't getting me anywhere with this girl. To suggest, as some posters have done, that I should have gone in hard and heavy, doesn't take into account that this girl was putting up very clear boundaries regarding what she wanted me for.

I think you are starting to get it and maybe on the verge of a breakthrough but I think it is important for you to see the connections between all of these things. So I'm still going to double down regarding the points I made earlier addressing the specific situation with this girl.

Perhaps "she was exclusively looking at you through the lens of me being a useful mug who would correct her English work" but if your game was better then you would have nexted her earlier without her causing you problems. Even if you decided to use this as a test case then you wouldn't have let her cause you problems because you wouldn't have taken her so seriously.

I don't think anyone suggested that you should have gone in "hard and heavy". They suggested that you should have escalated and I will double down and triple down on that.

You essentially have 2 good options. Next her or pursue her with an effective strategy. Showing up to a second meeting and not escalating is not an effective strategy or good game. Maybe you define escalating as "hard and heavy" but to us it usually means starting with very simple things like greeting her with a hug, leading her by putting your hand on her lower back while you are walking, sitting next to her instead of across from her, etc. There is no reason you should have left the 2nd meeting without having a clear understanding of where you stood with her.

So your game is a little off but I keep preaching about mindset because you have to fix your mindset before you can fix your game. I still don't think you have given us evidence of her being deceptive or playing games with you. Even if she was a little deceptive, it couldn't have been anything but the most minor of games that women play. She just wasn't interested in you and you can't expect women to explicitly say things like "sorry but I'm just not interested in you" because that is very rude from the perspective of a woman and her feelings-oriented mind even if it makes sense to you logically.

You've got to learn to get over things like this in a matter of seconds, not weeks or months. If not, you will get stuck in your frustration and your game will improve at a painfully slow pace.

You've got to learn to enjoy game if you really want to improve at it and that means you have to learn how to enjoy women and interacting with them. They aren't always evil manipulators like the manosphere wants you to believe. They are just more emotional than you and kinda like overgrown children so they can be fun to interact with if you don't take things so seriously.

[StackGsMan]

(02-13-2017 05:28 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-13-2017 05:15 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

The 6 with the tights would have been the perfect slump buster.

Confidence my friend, it comes with experience.

As I said in my last post, I'm still kicking myself about not taking that interaction to its logical conclusion. But I'll be visiting the supermarket where I saw tatty tights girl in the future, so I might still get the chance to see her again. If I do, I know what to say to connect with her again and will try not to balls it up again next time.

I'm on a 7-day no-fap streak and this has definitely put some fire in my belly today, combined with working out, that's given me the confidence to just push forward and cut through the crap in my own head to the job done, at least as far as the initial approach is concerned.

I'll be keeping up the momentum tomorrow with a new session of daygame at various venues in town and just hope that it won't be too long until I have something of substance to report back on.

What you write seems like a guy that lives in a town with 5,000 people so he truly has limited options. Just continue to approach women and play the numbers game and eventually you'll bust the dry spell. Once that happens you'll get better and better at pulling women so long as you continue to approach.

Approaching the name of the game.

Also I highly recommend you stop the no-fap streak considering you already say you are battling some mental demons. I can totally understand guys recommending no porn, but this no-fap shit is downright dangerous. Every time I've gone a few days or more with fapping it has made me lose it a little to say the least.