[BetaNoMore]

This isn't a "woe is me" post because at the end of the day, the answer is to give it my all and approach and interact with women.

But as we know, thirst and desperation can be quite obvious acting as a repellent to women so it makes it harder to break the cycle making you even more desperate, thirsty and un-confident. I've noticed that over the past few days, my thirst has gone up and it's messing me up. It's difficult to have an abundance mindset when you're starving.

I've mentioned previously that I'm in a long dry spell. It's been 13.5 months since I've had sex and almost 8 months since I've had any action (this is the longest dry spell I've had since my early 20s i'm early 30s now). Prior to this dry spell, I got out of 2 LTRs (one was really serious and blew up unfortunately) and I have spent the past 8 months working on myself and developing hobbies.

Even though my physique is good, style is on point, I've matured as a person over the past year, and career is squared away, it seems like women are less attracted to me than they were a few years ago.

My current logistics are terrible and due to current career obligations which will last for a few more months, I only have minimal amount of time to game and study game a week (I try to do a few approaches whenever I run errands). I realize that it may be a while before I get any action and furthermore, I'm looking for something more than just quick bangs not that I currently have the option.

I've been fine for the most part with the lack of physical and emotional intimacy over these past 8 months but just this past week, I've noticed that the lack of sex is really messing up my mental wellness. If I'm at home, I'm mostly okay but if I'm out and surrounded by women (gym, work), I feel a mental and physical desperation. Any 4/10 looks like a 10/10. It feels like I'm going to explode inside. And I've stopped looking at porn for a month now so it's added to the frustration.

It'll be another 2 months before I can increase my dedication to game. For those of you who have experienced these dry spells, what can I do to manage it? I feel like it's going to start affecting my day to day life as I can feel that it's already affecting my mood and creating a sensation of physical heaviness because my body's probably freaking out telling me to mate. And no, paying is not an option. I don't want to head down that road.

Thanks.

[jselysianeagle]

Damn. 8 months? I'd go crazy if I didn't fuck for that long. I'm not being sarcastic when I say: kudos for staying sane!

Because you're not open to paying for it, you have no choice but to try and keep your mind occupied so as not to sink into thought patterns that will only get you more depressed/anxious/desperate. One thing that's helped me is to become lost in some really challenging problem (coding is what I do for a living), or work out strenuously (crossfit/bootcamp/swimming/weight lifting) so that I'm so exhausted I just wanna hit the sack and sleep, lol. Hanging out with friends that I can just be myself around also has great therapeutic value, to me anyway.

On a more action-oriented note, really examine your schedule and see how you can alter it to afford more interaction with the opposite sex. Seek out not just day gaming places and times, but networking events - it's an open secret that to a significant extent they're used as hook-up events for adults. As men we have to accept that very, very few us will have the privilege of sitting back and having women just come to us. If you're not able to even put yourself out there, you'll just have to resign yourself to a sexless life until such time as you can.

Hang in there.

[WhatTheFuck]

For whatever reason it sounds like you have given up on game for the last 8 months, but that doesn't mean the time was wasted. You said that you used this time for self-improvement which is great, but no need to justify it to us or yourself. There are MANY factors that may lead to a man going through a prolonged dry spell, and it is a pretty normal occurrence in this day and age. I am currently in a bad dry spell myself and have gone longer than your latest in the past, but I am not pissed about it. Definitely don't let it affect you negatively making you desperate, thirsty, and unconfident.

One thing that is helping me are the teachings of stoicism. I am trying not to worry about things that are outside of my control, and trying to fix those over which I do have control. The past is outside of our control, but the actions we are taking in this current moment are most certainly within our control. Whether successful or not that is all one can do. Take action now. Also, I am trying hard not to become attached to the outcomes I imagine my efforts producing. Just putting the work in the best I can and we'll see what happens.

Negative visualization is another tactic that has helped, imagining how I would react if my situation was even worse. For example, even if I hadn't got laid in 10 years or something crazy, it would suck but it still wouldn't be the end of the world and barring death there will always be options to make a comeback in life and get back in the game. What if you hadn't got laid in 20 years? Now THAT would be bad! This shit happens to people out there. Some people may never get laid and will remain lifelong virgins.

So your 13 months is nothing to stress about, just whenever your logistics improve again get back out there. No girl knows how long its been and she doesn't care. Neither should you.

[TooFineAPoint]

This forum does not promote P4P...

cough **high end escort** cough

[RexImperator]

It's just a story you tell yourself in your head, and ultimately... nothing.

[Filbert]

You can sublimate it.
You watch the sex urge but don't act on it.
If you don't act on it, it stops.

Then you can try some meditation techniques to turn this energy into ojas.
Look up these techniques, there are a lot to choose from.
I'd recommend to try japa meditation to begin with, which is the simplest.

Also, try to cut down on meat and fish, which are major afrodisiacs.
Not to speak of drugs or alcohol.
If you are addicted to these, try cutting down gradually.

This should eliviate your frustration, but it requires some discipline.

[yankeetravels]

I feel you OP, I'm in an 8 month dry spell myself and haven't had sex since I came back to the US from my last trip to Asia. Part of it was I realized when I got back how much better I liked international girls but admittedly I haven't put myself very far out there and blew a couple opportunities.

Anyway my answer to solve this problem (because it was really starting to get to me) was to book a trip to a very friendly sex destination, in my case the Philippines. If I can't get break the streak there I may as well hang my dick up now. I don't know if you have that kind of time but it's definitely one direction I'd consider if you're in a country like mine.

I agree with WTF on one thing. Something that is helping me get through the dry spell is imagining if I couldn't get any when I went to Taiwan last year or worse, being a virgin like a couple of my friends are.

[Serious Sam]

When you say logistics are shit, do you mean time, location, or both?

If location is an issue, then I recommend installing Tinder on your phone and setting it to max distance to cast a wider net. At this point, I wouldn't give you a hard time for driving 2 hours away to get some ass. You've got to break out of this slump.

If time's the issue, then try to retool your schedule. I'd still advise you to use Tinder since it doesn't require a ton of effort from you. Plus you're likely to match with some slump busters that can help end the dry spell.

[BetaNoMore]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I appreciate your words of encouragement and it's comforting to hear that some people have gone through similar experiences.

(02-07-2017 09:30 PM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

Damn. 8 months? I'd go crazy if I didn't fuck for that long. I'm not being sarcastic when I say: kudos for staying sane!

Because you're not open to paying for it, you have no choice but to try and keep your mind occupied so as not to sink into thought patterns that will only get you more depressed/anxious/desperate. One thing that's helped me is to become lost in some really challenging problem (coding is what I do for a living), or work out strenuously (crossfit/bootcamp/swimming/weight lifting) so that I'm so exhausted I just wanna hit the sack and sleep, lol. Hanging out with friends that I can just be myself around also has great therapeutic value, to me anyway.

On a more action-oriented note, really examine your schedule and see how you can alter it to afford more interaction with the opposite sex. Seek out not just day gaming places and times, but networking events - it's an open secret that to a significant extent they're used as hook-up events for adults. As men we have to accept that very, very few us will have the privilege of sitting back and having women just come to us. If you're not able to even put yourself out there, you'll just have to resign yourself to a sexless life until such time as you can.

Hang in there.

What types of networking type events do you recommend? I'm thinking of doing some sort of volunteering once my schedule frees up a little which will give me the opportunity to give back to society and also meet some women. Interestingly, I work with mostly women but none of them seem to be interested. Not that I should be going for colleagues anyways but it's evidence that there's some sort of deficiency that I need to work on. I've worked on my social skills through reading, self-awareness (via meditation, retraining my thought patterns) and engaging with people over the past year or so and have made tons of improvement. There's still a ways to go and my game/flirting skills will need to improve as well. But I'm making strides.

I lift and do bjj but those aren't the greatest places to meet women. The gym possibly and I have started some indirect stuff there but I'm not in the top 10-20% of looks so I'm not expecting much especially when my gym has a ton of roided out dudes.

(02-08-2017 12:42 PM)Serious Sam Wrote:  

When you say logistics are shit, do you mean time, location, or both?

If location is an issue, then I recommend installing Tinder on your phone and setting it to max distance to cast a wider net. At this point, I wouldn't give you a hard time for driving 2 hours away to get some ass. You've got to break out of this slump.

If time's the issue, then try to retool your schedule. I'd still advise you to use Tinder since it doesn't require a ton of effort from you. Plus you're likely to match with some slump busters that can help end the dry spell.

I'd say both. My schedule isn't great but I still can squeeze in minimal amount of gaming time. It'll start freeing up after April.

My actual location is terrible. Move back in with family temporarily because I had to re-locate for work. I'll likely be buying something within the next 1-2 years once I finalize my work location.

I live in the burbs currently but I'm less than 1 hr away from the city so traveling isn't terrible and I'm in the city frequently. I may fire up tinder and post up a "douche bag" shirtless shot within the photos. I mentioned that I don't really want to head down the route of trying to get meaningless hookups as I'm trying to find something more "meaningful" and to live a virtuous life but with this level of thirst, I'm really handicapping myself in life.

(02-07-2017 10:41 PM)RexImperator Wrote:  

It's just a story you tell yourself in your head, and ultimately... nothing.

can you elaborate on this?

[Meat Head]

Show me a man that cant get laid and I will show you a man who wont lower his standards.

My dry spell is a year and four months long. I have to lower my standards and fap in the mean time.

[Serious Sam]

(02-08-2017 12:59 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

I live in the burbs currently but I'm less than 1 hr away from the city so traveling isn't terrible and I'm in the city frequently. I may fire up tinder and post up a "douche bag" shirtless shot within the photos.

Don't do that. Read this thread for tips on getting the most out of your pictures. If you can't afford or don't have time for a professional photographer, see if you can get a friend to take a couple of pictures in good lighting with you dressed well. Then crop and frame it to make it look the best.

Quote:

I mentioned that I don't really want to head down the route of trying to get meaningless hookups as I'm trying to find something more "meaningful" and to live a virtuous life but with this level of thirst, I'm really handicapping myself in life.

I understand not paying for hookers, but you aren't at a point where entering a relationship would be a good idea. It's kind of like grocery shopping when you're hungry. You end up buying shit you neither need nor want--applied to relationships, you're too thirsty right now and you'll settle for any girl who gives you the slightest amount of attention.

If you don't want a ONS, you can still meet girls you can enjoy for a couple of weeks, but I don't recommend that you seek out an LTR right now. You've got to shake the cobwebs off before you start going down that road.

[BetaNoMore]

(02-08-2017 03:41 PM)Serious Sam Wrote:  

(02-08-2017 12:59 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

I live in the burbs currently but I'm less than 1 hr away from the city so traveling isn't terrible and I'm in the city frequently. I may fire up tinder and post up a "douche bag" shirtless shot within the photos.

Don't do that. Read this thread for tips on getting the most out of your pictures. If you can't afford or don't have time for a professional photographer, see if you can get a friend to take a couple of pictures in good lighting with you dressed well. Then crop and frame it to make it look the best.

Quote:

I mentioned that I don't really want to head down the route of trying to get meaningless hookups as I'm trying to find something more "meaningful" and to live a virtuous life but with this level of thirst, I'm really handicapping myself in life.

I understand not paying for hookers, but you aren't at a point where entering a relationship would be a good idea. It's kind of like grocery shopping when you're hungry. You end up buying shit you neither need nor want--applied to relationships, you're too thirsty right now and you'll settle for any girl who gives you the slightest amount of attention.

If you don't want a ONS, you can still meet girls you can enjoy for a couple of weeks, but I don't recommend that you seek out an LTR right now. You've got to shake the cobwebs off before you start going down that road.

That's a good point you make about needing to shake off the cobwebs to avoid locking down the first attention I get.

I'll be getting some pro photos done in a few months when things settle down. In the meantime, I have a few decent shots that I can put up. I wonder if I should just get one of the guys at bjj to take a pic of me shirtless after training to avoid making it overly gratuitous. I'm Asian and have an avg face and since this is online dating, my SMV isn't at the top. I want to get any advantage I can get and a photo showing my physique could be a positive attribute that might help me stand out... or it'll make me look like a douche?

[RatInTheWoods]

A few weeks in Thailand out to blow out the cobwebs.

Also, the only reason for a long spell is you are being picky. There is always a woman at your SMV or lower to give you some love, if thats what you want.

But if you are a 6 and only want a 9, you are in for a long hard dry spell.

Look around, there are droughtbusters around. Pride or clean pipes? You make the call.....

[lonewolf1992]

It took me nearly a year to score a notch, I had to go through terrible times, but it is important to keep your mind clear and not go crazy.

[questor70]

Not to be debbie downer but there are threads here talking about how racking up notches isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's one of those things that always seems more attractive to do when you're not doing it, but when you do it, the reality is never quite as good as the fantasy. I'm not saying don't do it, but if you can put it in its proper perspective then you won't put women on pedestals. It's not so much abundance mindset as more of a realistic, experienced one.

[Meat Head]

^What is wrong with racking up notches?

[questor70]

Read this thread:

thread-60113.html

It's not that it's "wrong" as much as it's not the holy grail that men think when they first start up that hill.

[ksbms]

Hang on, bro, there are many more men who had had dry spell of a year or more. I've been there, too. However, my mistake, I think, was to preserve too high standards. No shame hitting a 6 or, if need be, perhaps a 5 just to get over it. Probably going lower not a good idea for your self-esteem and morale. Now, I've been 2,5 months in and feeling the pressure coming and, anxiety, too - it starts to feel funny over 3 months time and I'm not getting any younger. Won't decline a low 6 at that stage, won't risk holding out for 8+ like I used to. Foolish attitude, especially in Scotland where 8+ aren't exactly strolling on the high street to and fro.

So what I can suggest, is do an opportunistic game - any public space you see a passable (giving you a weak boner at least) looking girl, just say something. Here's an example. Earlier today, I went to a cafe nearby university. During prime time, it's just filled with students. Saw a chick sitting by the window, spot next to her was free. So asked if I could sit down there, and plunked myself there. Worked on my computer, 30 minutes later she gets ready to leave and re-opened with JSS - "you done for today?" The girl picked it up immediately, was very proactive, asked what I was doing, my name. 1st year student, she surprised me with her social savvy. Pretty face, just too much body but it was mine for the taking.

So what's the morale of the story? Any time you're in a public space (and you said you go downtown frequently), there will be opportunity. Be it a cafe, grocer's, or street. Either you make your move, or lie down and die or post here. But the latter won't do the trick. We can only write back and forth for so long.

[mrman848]

I had dry spell for years in my 20's. Went nuts. Literally.

Put me in hospital. Very high doses of anti depressants. Then i got fat from the side effects.
Lower your standards or throw in the towel.

My advice is probably shit. But just know that it just keeps getting worse until about 2-3years. Then it levels off to a constant misery.
I have never met a guy who could be celebate and live a happy life. Those who do are actually asexual.

How did am i getting through it now? *censored due to forum rules* but this method isnt that great either. You dont form a connection or even get an ego boost.

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(02-09-2017 05:31 PM)mrman848 Wrote:  

I had dry spell for years in my 20's. Went nuts. Literally.

Put me in hospital. Very high doses of anti depressants. Then i got fat from the side effects.
Lower your standards or throw in the towel.

My advice is probably shit. But just know that it just keeps getting worse until about 2-3years. Then it levels off to a constant misery.
I have never met a guy who could be celebate and live a happy life. Those who do are actually asexual.

How did am i getting through it now? *censored due to forum rules* but this method isnt that great either. You dont form a connection or even get an ego boost.

I wasn't going to contribute to this thread, even though I've been following it closely, but this post resonated too much with me, so here's my two penneth worth: I'm currently on 3 year dry spell (3.5 years if you exclude the ONS that I had 6 months after my last 10 year LTR ended) and I can say that not getting laid in that time, despite getting dates every now and again and desperately trying to pull women off the internet and through social circle game, has truly fucked with my mind in a way that a guy who hasn't gone this long without will probably never understand.

I, too, have had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants in the past month, since I was sinking into far too deep a hole that included having regular suicidal tendencies, but without attempting to act on them, thankfully. The last straw came recently after I'd had a two-hour date off OKC with a girl here who told me that she always hooked up quickly for sex with guys off the internet. When I asked her about meeting up again, she replied, "Sure, but not for sex". After this I went on a real downer which took a whole week to come back from.

Anyway, the biggest issue for me at the moment is that I feel I'm slowly going out of my mind. At the moment I've got my shit together mentally - just about - but I really don't know how much longer I can hold out in this state before something gives. It's more a sense of foreboding but it's getting stronger with every passing day that I want to get laid but can't find a willing woman. I've recently got back into day game of the bookstore/supermarket variety, but other than snarky responses, I haven't had any luck thus far.

One thing that I'm convinced of is the following: A woman can sense acutely when a guy hasn't gotten laid in some time and it quickly becomes a Catch-22 which disqualifies him from getting laid ever again if you find yourself in a longish dry spell.

[ksbms]

(02-09-2017 05:55 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 05:31 PM)mrman848 Wrote:  

I had dry spell for years in my 20's. Went nuts. Literally.

Put me in hospital. Very high doses of anti depressants. Then i got fat from the side effects.
Lower your standards or throw in the towel.

My advice is probably shit. But just know that it just keeps getting worse until about 2-3years. Then it levels off to a constant misery.
I have never met a guy who could be celebate and live a happy life. Those who do are actually asexual.

How did am i getting through it now? *censored due to forum rules* but this method isnt that great either. You dont form a connection or even get an ego boost.

I wasn't going to contribute to this thread, even though I've been following it closely, but this post resonated too much with me, so here's my two penneth worth: I'm currently on 3 year dry spell (3.5 years if you exclude the ONS that I had 6 months after my last 10 year LTR ended) and I can say that not getting laid in that time, despite getting dates every now and again and desperately trying to pull women off the internet and through social circle game, has truly fucked with my mind in a way that a guy who hasn't gone this long without will probably never understand.

I, too, have had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants in the past month, since I was sinking into far too deep a hole that included having regular suicidal tendencies, but without attempting to act on them, thankfully. The last straw came recently after I'd had a two-hour date off OKC with a girl here who told me that she always hooked up quickly for sex with guys off the internet. When I asked her about meeting up again, she replied, "Sure, but not for sex". After this I went on a real downer which took a whole week to come back from.

Anyway, the biggest issue for me at the moment is that I feel I'm slowly going out of my mind. At the moment I've got my shit together mentally - just about - but I really don't know how much longer I can hold out in this state before something gives. It's more a sense of foreboding but it's getting stronger with every passing day that I want to get laid but can't find a willing woman. I've recently got back into day game of the bookstore/supermarket variety, but other than snarky responses, I haven't had any luck thus far.

One thing that I'm convinced of is the following: A woman can sense acutely when a guy hasn't gotten laid in some time and it quickly becomes a Catch-22 which disqualifies him from getting laid ever again if you find yourself in a longish dry spell.

Is there a university in your town or a nearby town?

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(02-09-2017 06:05 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 05:55 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 05:31 PM)mrman848 Wrote:  

I had dry spell for years in my 20's. Went nuts. Literally.

Put me in hospital. Very high doses of anti depressants. Then i got fat from the side effects.
Lower your standards or throw in the towel.

My advice is probably shit. But just know that it just keeps getting worse until about 2-3years. Then it levels off to a constant misery.
I have never met a guy who could be celebate and live a happy life. Those who do are actually asexual.

How did am i getting through it now? *censored due to forum rules* but this method isnt that great either. You dont form a connection or even get an ego boost.

I wasn't going to contribute to this thread, even though I've been following it closely, but this post resonated too much with me, so here's my two penneth worth: I'm currently on 3 year dry spell (3.5 years if you exclude the ONS that I had 6 months after my last 10 year LTR ended) and I can say that not getting laid in that time, despite getting dates every now and again and desperately trying to pull women off the internet and through social circle game, has truly fucked with my mind in a way that a guy who hasn't gone this long without will probably never understand.

I, too, have had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants in the past month, since I was sinking into far too deep a hole that included having regular suicidal tendencies, but without attempting to act on them, thankfully. The last straw came recently after I'd had a two-hour date off OKC with a girl here who told me that she always hooked up quickly for sex with guys off the internet. When I asked her about meeting up again, she replied, "Sure, but not for sex". After this I went on a real downer which took a whole week to come back from.

Anyway, the biggest issue for me at the moment is that I feel I'm slowly going out of my mind. At the moment I've got my shit together mentally - just about - but I really don't know how much longer I can hold out in this state before something gives. It's more a sense of foreboding but it's getting stronger with every passing day that I want to get laid but can't find a willing woman. I've recently got back into day game of the bookstore/supermarket variety, but other than snarky responses, I haven't had any luck thus far.

One thing that I'm convinced of is the following: A woman can sense acutely when a guy hasn't gotten laid in some time and it quickly becomes a Catch-22 which disqualifies him from getting laid ever again if you find yourself in a longish dry spell.

Is there a university in your town or a nearby town?

There is: the University of Leipzig. Why?

[BetaNoMore]

Jesus, this thread went down a dark path.

Has there been anyone who went through an extended drought and came out on the other side to thrive?

(02-09-2017 05:55 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

One thing that I'm convinced of is the following: A woman can sense acutely when a guy hasn't gotten laid in some time and it quickly becomes a Catch-22 which disqualifies him from getting laid ever again if you find yourself in a longish dry spell.

This is the biggest part of the battle is to keep the thirst and desperation in check because it permeates through every single one of your actions. It's absurd and if you look at it from a detached lens, it's hilariously cruel. Your mind and body are desperate for any sort of affection and release, but it's the same desperation that's preventing you from remedying it. Such is life.

The only thing we can do is keep fighting. Keep fighting the negative thoughts, the desperation, and the urge to give up. Either that or lay down and die. I'm not quite ready for the giving up part yet nor will I ever be.

[ksbms]

(02-09-2017 06:07 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 06:05 PM)ksbms Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 05:55 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(02-09-2017 05:31 PM)mrman848 Wrote:  

I had dry spell for years in my 20's. Went nuts. Literally.

Put me in hospital. Very high doses of anti depressants. Then i got fat from the side effects.
Lower your standards or throw in the towel.

My advice is probably shit. But just know that it just keeps getting worse until about 2-3years. Then it levels off to a constant misery.
I have never met a guy who could be celebate and live a happy life. Those who do are actually asexual.

How did am i getting through it now? *censored due to forum rules* but this method isnt that great either. You dont form a connection or even get an ego boost.

I wasn't going to contribute to this thread, even though I've been following it closely, but this post resonated too much with me, so here's my two penneth worth: I'm currently on 3 year dry spell (3.5 years if you exclude the ONS that I had 6 months after my last 10 year LTR ended) and I can say that not getting laid in that time, despite getting dates every now and again and desperately trying to pull women off the internet and through social circle game, has truly fucked with my mind in a way that a guy who hasn't gone this long without will probably never understand.

I, too, have had to increase my dosage of anti-depressants in the past month, since I was sinking into far too deep a hole that included having regular suicidal tendencies, but without attempting to act on them, thankfully. The last straw came recently after I'd had a two-hour date off OKC with a girl here who told me that she always hooked up quickly for sex with guys off the internet. When I asked her about meeting up again, she replied, "Sure, but not for sex". After this I went on a real downer which took a whole week to come back from.

Anyway, the biggest issue for me at the moment is that I feel I'm slowly going out of my mind. At the moment I've got my shit together mentally - just about - but I really don't know how much longer I can hold out in this state before something gives. It's more a sense of foreboding but it's getting stronger with every passing day that I want to get laid but can't find a willing woman. I've recently got back into day game of the bookstore/supermarket variety, but other than snarky responses, I haven't had any luck thus far.

One thing that I'm convinced of is the following: A woman can sense acutely when a guy hasn't gotten laid in some time and it quickly becomes a Catch-22 which disqualifies him from getting laid ever again if you find yourself in a longish dry spell.

Is there a university in your town or a nearby town?

There is: the University of Leipzig. Why?

It will be, then, big enough university to conduct dancing classes. If not at the university, most certainly there are classes in town.

I'd recommend salsa/bachata/merengue for they are sensual/sexual dances. No, the goal isn't to get laid through the classes - although it may happen (especially if people go for a drink to a nearby bar after). What it will give you is the continuous exposure to interactions.

You will talk to many females and develop skill in impromptu conversations. It will allow you to be cheeky and test different gambits. There's a girl with sexy legs? Comment on it ("Nice legs. Must be working out a lot?") whilst looking deeply in her eyes.

You will touch many females in a dominant and sexual fashion. Salsa/bachata are dances where a man is a leader and cues through touching. Since the classes are arranged in such a fashion that the teacher is in the centre, and dance learning couples in a circle around him, you will swap partners every couple minutes in a clockwise fashion. The whole experience will boost up your masculine vibe in no time.

It's a work out as well and your body language, posture, and hips movement will improve.

After a few sessions, your confidence will dramatically improve. Start with beginners level. Don't worry you can't dance - no-one in this classes really can. And it can be lots of fun with a good teacher (ideally, a Latin America native). Bachata is simpler to learn the basics and gives more opportunity for body-to-body contact.

Best thing is to blend it with your outfit but with a little edge. Since you get warm dancing, best thing I'd recommend (and wear myself) is a dark, fitted v-neck, and some fitted trousers (ideally, not blue jeans that everyone wears) and shoes/sneakers that are, again dark/black and comfortable.

It can be lots of fun and laugh. I see virtually no downsides, apart from a little money invested, not spent. And believe me, it IS be a mighty panacea, much more potent than antidepressants. Trust me, I know something about what you wrote. If you want to, you can shoot me a message.

[LeoneVolpe]

Now to lighten things up a bit...

How to deal with a dry spell in 3 easy steps:

1.) Stop fapping
2.) Start approaching (open, attract, escalate)
3.) Bang

If you can't bang, lower your standards and begin again. Rinse and repeat.