Quote: (01-25-2017 07:57 AM)xmlenigma Wrote:
I get the concept, one of the things I had a lack of (still work on it), was control over emotions. Regular Meditation has helped me work on that.. As someone said.. Dont GET ANGRY (anger controlling you), But SHOW ANGER (measured/ as much as is needed).
I learned how to completely control and channel my anger (or other strong emotions) through physical training: dancing (for the softer emotions), lifting and boxing (for harder emotions).
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When it comes to today's females.. and Nipping it in the bud.. I can laugh away all their stuff.. (meditation & realizing they are how they are)..
But, I'd like to understand, HOW MUCH of NIPPING it in the Bud, SHOWING or CONVEYING disapproval.. When, How much, & in what way..
Please keep in mind that I am only talking about a woman you want to marry. For all other women, you can do as you please, and can always just walk away if she's too much.
The mindset you need to have is that you are moulding her into a suitable woman for you. This considerable effort is something she must appreciate and understand that it is a privilege for her, and you are only doing so because you think she's a good woman for you. Very early on, as soon as we started dating and after she learned something from me that she said she appreciated very much, I told her that my Time is my most precious resource and I do not spend it on anyone unworthy. She understands and has the biggest respect for my Time with her. Also, my teaching from the experiences and lessons I've learned in life is the biggest gift I can give anyone, which is something she understands very well.
I do not spend time with nor teach a woman who does not respect those two. If she shows any disrespect towards those, withdraw your attention and get ready to walk away.
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I know & understand this has to be calibrated case by case, but EXAMPLES will help (assuming that one's self control has evolved) more than the "concept" which most of us seem to have understood.
Sure, I can give examples, but don't underestimate concepts. You can always understand something at a higher level than you previously did. When you truly have it in your blood, actions or words are automatic.
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Also, EARLY TRAINING.. I know it starts from Interaction 1, but with younger girls.. I've noticed that until the Bang/ until she is IN with you, the "Stronger Daddy" needs to wait and let the "Fun Daddy" play until she commits..
Maybe letting Strong Daddy out earlier is a good way to filter out the young girls you do not want to wife up. My wife did not act like this at all, she was a virgin before she met me, and never dated anyone, so she didn't do the "not commiting until the bang". I am always Fun Daddy, even when I'm spanking / disciplining my wife (or back when she was just girlfriend status). I led from the beginning, although of course I didn't teach her everything then, just the basics to get her started following me properly.
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@StrikeBack
PPS: Some actual examples of Early Training from your side would be lovely. ESPECIALLY, the Over Knee Spanking movies and how you trained her on that.. (I'd like to learn this PROGRESSION in detail) PLEASE.. That's perfectly playful to start with and can eventually go to INTENSE..
Well the spanking originally came from her starting to act like a 1950s wife and preparing my meals while wearing a sundress or a nice skirt with pretty hairdo. I rewarded that by putting her over my knees and spanking her, just like in the vintage movies we love to watch together. It wasn't used at first as a discipline tool.
The first time I noticed that my wife got jealous of other women giving me attention, I laughed and called her "my jelly baby", then after making her laugh too, I spanked her and made her jelly-legged with some serious banging.
I use spanking also for when she gets upset about some silly stuff and lets her usual very respectful language towards me slip a bit. Note: we use Vietnamese pronouns and phrases to talk to each other, even when talking in English, so it's very easy to detect the slip because the language is highly respectful in that regard, or she speaks entirely English instead e.g saying "Yes Husband" instead of the much more respectful and loving equivalence in Vietnamese.
I really don't have to do corrections or nipping in the bud all that often though. I'd much rather teach her to sort that out herself, with my guidance. I do a lot more positive reinforcements than negative ones. Early on, I told her that I want her to always be my representative, that other people would look at her and say "wow, that is definitely StrikeBack's wife" because she represents me so well and makes me proud. When she does something right, I'd say "now that's my wife" or "that's my good woman" and give her a big kiss. When she stuffs up, I correct her, discipline her and as she understands the lesson, I'd compliment her on learning very fast and being respectful of my teaching and my time through listening to me.
I tell my wife her #1 wife duty, far above sex, cooking and cleaning, is to be my retreat. It means I get to relax and have a good time with her. While I nip every misbehaviour early, I don't have to do so too much, because of that rule. Because if I had to correct her every action, the risk would not be me becoming like her father, instead it would be me walking away because she's clearly the wrong woman for the title of wife. If I ever met any of her BS with silence, it meant something super serious, as in I started to stop caring, and she understands this very well.
Like I said, there is a very clear difference in standards between LTR / Marriage and random girls you want to bang for a little while.
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A passive aggressive text? Word she knows you don't like? Degrading nickname? Getting a reply the next day when she's used to getting them in a few minutes can set her straight. After a while a girl realizes if she brings positivity to the well she'll get some water to bring back with her, if not things will be dry for her.
While this is fine for a short-termed thing (I used to do the same, but mentally I wrote them off), you cannot show any tolerance for this when vetting for a LTR or wife (besides you can't do this if she lives with you). My wife understands the tremendous consequence of disrespecting me. She'd be a goner, at ANY COST, if she pulled any of those. And she never does that, ever. When I nip certain behaviours in the bud, I tell her it is not because I am a nitpicky man, it's because I know when men let their women get away with small nonsenses, it always leads to a big disrespect down the road, and love cannot exist without respect. She understands and always thanks me whenever I need to do so.