Quote: (01-06-2017 06:16 PM)Hoser Wrote:
I got through Aaron Clarey's "Curse of the High IQ" which is great for commiseration but low on advice. It's got me wondering:
Most careers bore me, money isn't worth its price, and hedonism wears thin fast. I've tried enough hobbies and travel that little interests me anymore. For what it's worth, yes, I'm nearing (in?) mid-life (early 40s) which may have something to do with my malaise. I have an amazing unicorn wife, but she's as uninterested in the rat race as I. The only thing that reliably does it for us these days is drinking almost every evening.
Has anyone hit this phase and successfully made it through? If so, how?
I read through your posts and can identify, although I was in my early 30s when I had my mid-life crisis. You're fortunate to have a great wife and kudos for being a man who is happy to stick with. I noticed some unpleasant habits start when I was laid off in 2004 and didn't really know what to do. Then I had a crisis of faith in many ways, including whether to continue the side business I started as a hobby. That business has since blossomed in ways I couldn't possibly imagine and it's directly tied to knowing why it matters so much to me.
Please humor me and answer this question, as succinctly as you can:
What is your unique talent, which both gives you satisfaction and is also a gift to the world?
The masculine aspect of us is driven by having a purpose, which includes identifying our natural talents. When we don't know our purpose we feel less of a man and it's very frustrating. Chronic drinking, drug abuse, etc. are natural results of that confusion. From knowing the answer to that question 'what is my purpose?' then we can very naturally see where we are drawn to focus our energies and to set goals, which require making plans and achieving milestones. While having self-interest is a part of surviving in the world, our highest purpose is ultimately something that makes an impact on the world.
If you were able to answer the question, which is essentially 'what is my purpose?' then great - we can talk about what goals you're interested in. If you couldn't answer it, then I highly recommend you read my post on the topic and buy the book 'Is Your Genius At Work?' by Dick Richards.
The Meaning of life, 'what is my purpose'
You might buy two copies, one for your wife as well. Going through the book has reinvigorated my life with joy, clarity of purpose, and determination. It took me a year to get around to reading it but I couldn't put it down once I started. I've suggested it to my S.O., friends, and coworkers who have said the same.
The physical recommendations are up to you, everyone is unique in what their body needs but it makes sense to get out of your normal routine, perhaps take a few hours to be in an open empty space, mountains, trees, lake or ocean, around animals. Just reset your system to get back to what's natural. Praying, asking for God's guidance, and giving yourself time and space to hear the answers. The Richard's book is really a special work. Good luck and I look forward to hearing your updates.
