[Meat Head]

I am mildly successful with women and I still fear rejection and feel down when I get told to fuck off. I wanted to know if that fear ever truly goes away. After a hundred lays and a thousand rejections do you just laugh off harsh rejections?

[XPQ22]

No.

You just learn to pay the price, without counting the cost.

The sting of rejection fades rapidly with time, approaching is nearly free, and the game has an enormous bankroll to charge it to.

[Mufasa]

(11-29-2016 11:32 AM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

No.

You just learn to pay the price, without counting the cost.

The sting of rejection fades rapidly with time, approaching is nearly free, and the game has an enormous bankroll to charge it to.

This is a funny one for me. Ive had girls reject me and its weird, making eye contact with them as it happens I just get the vibe that they would want to but can't for some reason. I would say it definitely gets easier especially once you a)have a main chick b)fucked enough girls to realize that there are girls out there that want to fuck you c)are getting routinely laid

[XXL]

What do you do that you get laughed off or harshly rejected?

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(11-29-2016 01:25 PM)XXL Wrote:  

What do you do that you get laughed off or harshly rejected?

There doesn't always have to be something wrong with the approach when this happens. Sometimes it's just that the girl's a whackjob and she turns the approach against him for the fun of it - I've had this happen to me once or twice with rather amusing results.

[Mufasa]

(11-29-2016 01:29 PM)Feldeinsamkeit Wrote:  

(11-29-2016 01:25 PM)XXL Wrote:  

What do you do that you get laughed off or harshly rejected?

There doesn't always have to be something wrong with the approach when this happens. Sometimes it's just that the girl's a whackjob and she turns the approach against him for the fun of it - I've had this happen to me once or twice with rather amusing results.

If she does that for fun to me means one thing...




...know what I'm sayin lol

[kaotic]

Who cares if she tells you to fuck off - odds are you'll never see that bitch again !

If she laughs at you, she's still semi entertaining the fact of talking to you, which means she'll decide how to respond on how you react to her laughing.

Girls are GOING to reject you, even if you're gods gift to woman, some woman, somewhere WILL reject you.

You don't waste time or sleep on those females.

[Giovonny]

Yes! Of course it does!

If you jump out of an airplane 1000 times, the fear will dissolve..

Learn to handle large snakes and do it thousands of times, the fear will mostly go away..

Practice algebra for a few years, the fear of math is eliminated..

--

Approaching girls in the same way. With enough repetition and practice, the fear melts!

Fear is the minds response to "the unknown", once it becomes "known", the fear subsides

--

The problem for most guys is that they don't face their fears nearly enough!

Fear elimination takes years! Thousands of repetitions! Hundreds of hours of hard work!

Approaching only a handful of girls per week/month is not enough to quickly dissolve the fear. MOMENTUM must be created and sustained if you want fast results! If you want to kill fear, you gotta fight. You gotta WANT IT BAD!

(Drunk approaches are fun but they don't really count because when you sober up, your brain is different -- Sober approaches work better to fight fear)

--

I used to be fearful of approaching girls, 8 years and 5000 approaches later, my only fear is NOT approaching

FUCK FEAR! It's all in the mind! Don't run and hide from it! Attack it !

--

A few years ago, I wrote this:

Giovonnys Fear Elimination Protocol

[XPQ22]

(11-29-2016 01:11 PM)Mufasa Wrote:  

This is a funny one for me. Ive had girls reject me and its weird, making eye contact with them as it happens I just get the vibe that they would want to but can't for some reason. I would say it definitely gets easier especially once you a)have a main chick b)fucked enough girls to realize that there are girls out there that want to fuck you c)are getting routinely laid

I've banged a couple solid "8s" in the past year who pretty much could've taken their pick from whatever the latest app du jour or club had on offer.

I can't say it doesn't sting a little bit to be blown out by a barely passable "6", but it fades rather quickly. I mean, I think you're silly for not wanting to roll with me, but hey, it's a free country.

I also keep in mind the notion, a cynic might say rationalization, that many girls in their late 20s/early 30s are simply not looking for an alpha. They're looking for something...else. The main girl I'm seeing right now is maybe a "6.5" (but an "8" to me, giving "girl next door" librarians the Christan Grey experience is my personal perversion) her roommate I'd call an "8", but a fookin' cunt. She ground away for months after moving here on Bumble and shit serial dating, looking for the "perfect guy." Girl tells me "oh my god she found a guy she likes" and one night her and her guy come home (about 20 minutes after I finish up banging the bejesus out of my girl, haha) and we're talking with them, and he seems pleasant enough but...my girl and I are giving each other glances like "Um, so...this the guy. This the nigga right here that took all that work?"

I know through the grapevine this guy didn't bang her until like date twelve or something, haha.

[XXL]

For me personally that feeling is always there. The colder the approach the more I can feel it. The only difference is that fear and anxiety has turned into something like an adrenaline rush.

I don't buy that it's possible to get rid of that feeling 100%. It's just possible to control it.

[kaotic]

(11-29-2016 03:41 PM)XXL Wrote:  

For me personally that feeling is always there. The colder the approach the more I can feel it. The only difference is that fear and anxiety has turned into something like an adrenaline rush.

I don't buy that it's possible to get rid of that feeling 100%. It's just possible to control it.

Mastering anxiety and fear is very possible and very powerful.

I actually LOVE that feeling when meeting up with a chick for the first time, our first date, our first fuck session.

It's awesome ! You can't let it control you, you need to control IT !

[Veloce]

I say wholeheartedly yes.

And I say it goes away not with the amount of approaches, though that may be true.

In my case I say the fear goes away with age.

I'm at the point where I truly, honestly, 100% of my soul just do not give a flying fuck anymore. I'm impressed by woman's beauty if she's beautiful, but ultimately I see them as deeply flawed and silly creatures not worth a single ounce of fear or apprehension.

[Nater]

Yes sir! I approached girls for 6 months straight non-stop, day and night and went to salsa venues. Talking to girls was just natural to me and I reached a mental mindset of "she was the loser", my inner game reached an all time high.

The more I approached the less emotion I attached to each approach. You don't give a fuck when you approach a lot. You might be intimidated from a new venue, new place the first time, a new crowd but that's about it.

Since I am in a game hiatus I am sure my next cold approach will suck, I will feel all awkward but 10 approaches later I will be almost numb. I am still a bit intimidated of 8+ girls since I haven't approached that many but again it's just a question of practice.

The thing that suck is that as soon as you stop approaching your game will shrink and your fear of rejection will rebuild again.

This is why it's important to have a job that complements your game. I didn't know this when I started this game journey but now I know better. I am currently trying to find a job in sales because it will help me to sell (improve verbal game), fear of rejection is non-existent if you're cold calling and it will teach me to build rapport.

[Prof. Ligate]

Fear and loathing? Seriously?

Think about the big picture for a second.

You're going up to a girl to initiate conversation so you can fuck her. Learn to embrace rejection instead of this 'loathing' you talk about, and maybe you can move in the right direction

[LeoneVolpe]

Quote:

“If you view everything through the lens of fear, then you tend to stay in retreat mode. You can just as easily see a crises or problem as a challenge, an opportunity to prove your mettle, the chance to strengthen and toughen yourself, or a call to collective action. By seeing it as a challenge, you will have converted this negative into a positive purely by a mental process that will result in positive action as well. ”
― Robert Greene, The 50th Law

Do yourself a favor and track down a copy of that book. It discusses at great length a concept called "mental alchemy," which is essentially transmutating a negative into a positive, turning shit into sugar.

Remember: Nothing great was ever accomplished without risking rejection and failure.

Rejection is not the end of the world. Failure is not the end of the world. In fact, they're both prerequisites to success. Be thankful for every opportunity you have to learn and grow.

[Mufasa]

(11-30-2016 05:17 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  

Quote:

“If you view everything through the lens of fear, then you tend to stay in retreat mode. You can just as easily see a crises or problem as a challenge, an opportunity to prove your mettle, the chance to strengthen and toughen yourself, or a call to collective action. By seeing it as a challenge, you will have converted this negative into a positive purely by a mental process that will result in positive action as well. ”
― Robert Greene, The 50th Law

Do yourself a favor and track down a copy of that book. It discusses at great length a concept called "mental alchemy," which is essentially transmutating a negative into a positive, turning shit into sugar.

Remember: Nothing great was ever accomplished without risking rejection and failure.

Rejection is not the end of the world. Failure is not the end of the world. In fact, they're both prerequisites to success. Be thankful for every opportunity you have to learn and grow.

thats the 50 cent one right?

[LeoneVolpe]

(11-30-2016 05:23 AM)Mufasa Wrote:  

(11-30-2016 05:17 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  

Quote:

“If you view everything through the lens of fear, then you tend to stay in retreat mode. You can just as easily see a crises or problem as a challenge, an opportunity to prove your mettle, the chance to strengthen and toughen yourself, or a call to collective action. By seeing it as a challenge, you will have converted this negative into a positive purely by a mental process that will result in positive action as well. ”
― Robert Greene, The 50th Law

Do yourself a favor and track down a copy of that book. It discusses at great length a concept called "mental alchemy," which is essentially transmutating a negative into a positive, turning shit into sugar.

Remember: Nothing great was ever accomplished without risking rejection and failure.

Rejection is not the end of the world. Failure is not the end of the world. In fact, they're both prerequisites to success. Be thankful for every opportunity you have to learn and grow.

thats the 50 cent one right?

Right. You don't have to be a 50 Cent fan to appreciate the book, though. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the book despite not being a fan of 50 or hip hop/rap in general. So many great lessons about fearlessness, stoicism, etc. are found in "The 50th Law."

[Rico Ramon]

Yes, when you stop caring about the outcome of whether she is going to like you are not,you have nothing to lose by striking up a friendly conversation, if she ignores you or is not interested, move on. Speak to women as you would that older man or woman, just as a person. I know that can be hard if you are attracted to a woman, but just think how many men come on to a pretty chick everyday, the stares, comments. If you treat them just like another regular person, that's what beautiful women want ( most), from my experience.

[Giovonny]

(11-29-2016 03:41 PM)XXL Wrote:  

I don't buy that it's possible to get rid of that feeling 100%.

Yeah, maybe not 100%, but 95% - 99% is possible!

As you get older, you will realize that "fear" is just a word. A word we use to describe certain bio-chemical sensations in our body..

What is "fear" ???

Fear is just a collection of feelings and sensations -- It's a bio-chemical reaction to perceived danger.

Sometimes, there really is a reason to be afraid -- But, when it comes talking to girls, there is literally no threat of physical harm and thus, there is no reason to be afraid.

Fear is not a scientific term. Fear is a psychological term.

--

Those feelings and sensations in our body... We can define them in a variety of ways.. We can define them as "fear" or we can define them as "excitement" and "anticipation"..

Words matter. The words we attach and associate with our feelings -- will often define our experience.

Fear is just another way to say -- "my bio-chemistry is changing".

I rarely say -- "I feel afraid"... Instead, I say -- "I can feel my body getting ready for competition"

I created different language to describe my "feelings" and thus took better control over my feelings.

(11-29-2016 04:53 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

In my case I say the fear goes away with age.

Yes.

I believe that you are 40ish.

As we get older, we care less about "fear". We have been dealing with it our whole lives and we realize that it doesn't really matter. We learn to ignore it or redefine it.

We learn to not give a fuck!

--

There are some great responses in this thread!

(11-30-2016 05:17 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:  

Quote:

“If you view everything through the lens of fear, then you tend to stay in retreat mode. You can just as easily see a crises or problem as a challenge, an opportunity to prove your mettle, the chance to strengthen and toughen yourself, or a call to collective action. By seeing it as a challenge, you will have converted this negative into a positive purely by a mental process that will result in positive action as well. ”

"mental alchemy"

**********

"Loathing" is a slightly different issue.

I fixed my loathing by always entertaining myself..

Yesterday, A girl rejected me in a rude manner...

I said -- "Hillary lost because of girls like you. Your attitude made everyone vote for Trump"

The look on her face was priceless.

I didn't feel any loathing because I was too busy laughing!

Self -amusement is key.

[Meat Head]

^Thanks for that response. I knew love was a chemical cocktail but I never thought fear was hormonal. I hopes it helps when I am in the field.

[SiverFox]

I personally love rejection when day gaming. It means I tried. 100% better than regret for either missing the opportunity or puss-ing out.

[RatInTheWoods]

Yes it does.

When you realise that there are billions of women in the world, and that you can always get and have a woman at your SMV level.

This is a true abundance mentality and its a game changer. Women can smell that you are not desperate or fear rejection and its catnip to them.

[Mufasa]

(11-29-2016 02:20 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

"Um, so...this the guy. This the nigga right here that took all that work?"

(11-30-2016 01:24 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(11-29-2016 03:41 PM)XXL Wrote:  

I don't buy that it's possible to get rid of that feeling 100%.


Yeah, maybe not 100%, but 95% - 99% is possible!

(11-30-2016 01:24 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

As we get older, we care less about "fear". We have been dealing with it our whole lives and we realize that it doesn't really matter. We learn to ignore it or redefine it.

We learn to not give a fuck!

I personally think fear can be 100% eliminated and at the same time can be redefined if it can't be eliminated.

Think of something that you were afraid of as a child that you are no longer afraid of--learning to ride a bike was a frightening experience as a child. Today I'm not afraid of riding a bike.

I love to go cliff jumping and my highest I've jumped is 15m. I would consider my first attempt as a type of fear. Naturally I was drunk and thought it would be a good idea to do a gainer--it wasn't.
When I go off cliffs of similar height I'm definitely not scared anymore, I would say that fear has been reassigned to anxiousness of the decent.

I'm not afraid to go swimming at all. But I would say I'm afraid of swimming in the ocean not because of swimming but because I know what's in the ocean. But if I knew I had nothing to worry about it wouldn't be a big deal.

Fear exists to keep us alive: its a primitive survival instinct--a lion does not fear a gazelle, but he may fear a tiger. As we obtain mastery over our environment and discover theres nothing to fear we cease being afraid. And even when we hurt ourselves for some the fear returns, for others we are just more careful or better prepared the next time.
Our fear can be 100% eliminated and if we cannot eliminate it we reassign it after facing said fear.

[XPQ22]

(12-01-2016 05:30 AM)Mufasa Wrote:  

(11-29-2016 02:20 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

"Um, so...this the guy. This the nigga right here that took all that work?"

I think it just happens sometimes as an inevitable, rational response to this town's overwhelming, unbearable whiteness.

Roommate' and her boyfriend are certainly unbearably urban liberal white, to this game-aware white man. I would call their biography "The Unbearable Whiteness of Being."

No, I don't wanna play Cards Against Humanity over cocktails, thanks guys.

[Yatagan]

Remember, that while you're focusing on a broad that doesn't reciprocate your attraction, there's one out there that wants it but isn't getting it, and not "getting it" in more ways than one! Also, don't take a woman's rejection as a personal slight against your character or your personal worth, some women simply aren't going to be into you no matter what, so focus on increasing your odds with those that will be into you.