Quote: (11-29-2016 03:41 PM)XXL Wrote:
I don't buy that it's possible to get rid of that feeling 100%.
Yeah, maybe not 100%, but 95% - 99% is possible!
As you get older, you will realize that
"fear" is just a word. A word we use to describe certain bio-chemical sensations in our body..
What is "fear" ???
Fear is just a collection of feelings and sensations -- It's a bio-chemical reaction to perceived danger.
Sometimes, there really is a reason to be afraid -- But, when it comes talking to girls, there is literally no threat of physical harm and thus, there is no reason to be afraid.
Fear is not a scientific term. Fear is a psychological term.
--
Those feelings and sensations in our body... We can define them in a variety of ways.. We can define them as "fear" or we can define them as "excitement" and "anticipation"..
Words matter. The words we attach and associate with our feelings -- will often define our experience.
Fear is just another way to say --
"my bio-chemistry is changing".
I rarely say --
"I feel afraid"... Instead, I say --
"I can feel my body getting ready for competition"
I created different language to describe my "feelings" and thus took better control over my feelings.
Quote: (11-29-2016 04:53 PM)Veloce Wrote:
In my case I say the fear goes away with age.
Yes.
I believe that you are 40ish.
As we get older, we care less about "fear". We have been dealing with it our whole lives and we realize that it doesn't really matter. We learn to ignore it or redefine it.
We learn to not give a fuck!
--
There are some great responses in this thread!
Quote: (11-30-2016 05:17 AM)LeoneVolpe Wrote:
Quote:Quote:
“If you view everything through the lens of fear, then you tend to stay in retreat mode. You can just as easily see a crises or problem as a challenge, an opportunity to prove your mettle, the chance to strengthen and toughen yourself, or a call to collective action. By seeing it as a challenge, you will have converted this negative into a positive purely by a mental process that will result in positive action as well. ”
"mental alchemy"
**********
"Loathing" is a slightly different issue.
I fixed my loathing by always entertaining myself..
Yesterday, A girl rejected me in a rude manner...
I said --
"Hillary lost because of girls like you. Your attitude made everyone vote for Trump"
The look on her face was priceless.
I didn't feel any loathing because I was too busy laughing!
Self -amusement is key.