Quote: (08-07-2016 03:39 AM)The Right Frame Wrote:
I can report that online game where I am is very challenging ( west San Fernando valley los angeles ) . Quality is very low--about 70%-80% of dates will be at most 6/10 . 7s are the highest possible.
Since I live in a bad area for online dating I have learned to dramatically lower the time and investment I make on dating websites. Every week mass message 20+ acceptable girls with a short message about how we have so much in common and are local. 2 messages maximum to get number otherwise delete them. Time from number to date never more than 72 hrs. If we can't meet within 72 hrs I stop trying and delete them.
For dates this is what I do.
1. She has to live within 10 miles of where I live. Proximity matters especially in Los Angeles where traffic is terrible.
2. She has to agree to meet at the same bar I always choose (4 mins from my house).
3. Her first drink is not necessarily on me. If things go well yes of course I will pay along with the second round.
4 Cut your losses quickly. I usually end up leaving after the 1 st round of drinks. Bad vibe, she is not into me so I get out .
5.Sharing 1-2 bar snacks is the absolute max and things need to be going extremely well for this to occur. Kino, laughing, good vibe etc.
In conclusion, I spend very little time or money on dates with online girls because of the bad ROI in my area. If I keep up this process I get the very rare bang with an unremarkable girl. Really don't see much changing either. This applies to pof, okcupid, tinder.
I live in the same area. We're probably messaging the same girls.
Those are good principles to stick to but the majority of my online lays have broken one of those 5 points. You eventually get a radar for the girls that are going to be time wasters/flakes, perhaps you already have this and you're just sick of the process, but you're leaving pussy on the table if you're being that strict.
1. Last girl I dated lived in San Dimas, current girl I'm dating lives in Sun Valley. It can get annoying with traffic but we've always made it work. I'd say under 30min drive is a cut off but if the girl is willing to drive to you then she could live far away. Most either won't have a car or won't put in the effort for any considerable drive. Closer the better but at least 33% of the girls I date live 10+ miles away.
2.This makes sense. Those midpoint dates are logistical disasters. Date doesn't have to be a bar but has to be great logistics for you. I often do mini-golf/art galleries but that fits my personality.
3. I always cover drinks unless it's a absolute shit date or she's obviously ordering super expensive stuff. You invited her, I don't see why you need to go Dutch. Further down the line you can even out to more 60/40.
This posts covers this.
4. What age range are you dating? None of my last 10 dates have lasted under 2 hours. This seems strange. Every once in a while of course your date will be a dud, but "usually". Sounds like you're not screening enough.
5. If you want to get food, do it. If you don't, don't. Most girls won't be hungry because of first date jitters and awkwardness of eating around someone you don't know well. If a cute girl that's pleasant company wants a few appetizers, you're not going to bail.
That 2 message rule is pretty silly. You're really rejecting yourself there. Very rarely will an online girl be so enamored with you that she'll drop the digits in 2 messages. The 72 hour window is ideal, but most girls can't make this work. They like to pretend they have schedules and being available in <3 days can look needy on the girls part. I'd at least give it 1 week, after that the momentum falls off significantly. If it seemed like a good lead and you just couldn't fit a meet in your schedules then put her on the backburner. This just happened to me. Got a number 6 weeks ago, she went on a vacation to Alabama. I send her trollsy gifs and pinged 1x/week with low expectations. She texted me when she got back and we went out.
The majority of my dates are with 7's. I can send you pictures if you're skeptical. But I'm a decent looking guy and quite picky (videochat a lot of girls pre-date to filter out <6's). I admit I go through a lot of numbers to get dates. Sometimes it takes 5+ numbers to get one out. The glass ceiling for guys with their shit together online appears to be 7's. The stars will very rarely align and you'll get an 8. This is consistent as even way back when slubu lived in LA, he was saying OKC is pussy delivery for 5's and 6's. Any guy in LA claiming he's consistently banging 8+'s online is full of shit or highly leveraging something (looks/money).
Bottom line is online dating in LA is pretty bad and it's gotten worse, but I think you can do better than what you're currently doing. I'd stay to tinder/coffee meets bagel/bumble/hinge/happn over okc and pof. If you have any questions feel free.
XPQ: I still prefer getting numbers then setting logistics for date.
This post explains why. I do admit it's quite annoying to have tons of random numbers plugging up your phone.