Depression. Where is the purpose in life? [An honest question]
06-22-2016, 06:29 PM
An honest question. And an honest answer:
You may want to change the title of your thread. Or not, I don't know. I say this humbly to you. As your friend is not genuinely contemplating taking his own life, and this is a 'gedanken' (thought experiment), these are my words of advice.
It is very very important to make a distinction between depression, which is a life threatening illness, that cuts years off your life, if not ending it altogether prematurely, and an existential crisis, which is what it sounds like your friend is having.
I've had both, and know the difference.
I would say, that until you reach the point where you consider taking your own life, or that life becomes so unbearable because you are losing so much weight because you can not eat, then you haven't really suffered full on life threatening depression. It's a very serious matter, though not everyone who thinks they understand it, does.
I don't mean to be argumentative for the sake of it, and I have not read other's replies so far yet, but I think it is an important distinction to point out.
Having said that, it's certainly possible to waste years of your life in meaningless contemplation, perhaps smoking a little too much dope than is good for you, perhaps drinking more than is good for you, or just navel-gazing.
Your friend asks a valid question, and only he can answer that for himself. By all means contribute to his great 'question' - that is what friends are for.
But please make the distinction between true depression (which comes in many shapes and sizes, but is always life-changing) and someone grasping for higher philosophical truth. Not to denigrate this pursuit of his.
The word 'depression' has become so over-used as to have very little meaning any more. It is commonly diagnosed by doctors as a catch-all when they can't figure other stuff out. True depression is a lot rarer than society makes it out to be. You will know when it takes over your life. You will start losing your eyesight, your teeth will start dropping out, your body will stop working as it falls apart, bit by bit. You may eat your self to death, or you may just stop eating altogether. It's a multi-headed beast, that no pill, other than the milk of human kindness, can cure (in my limited experience, and not always then).
I apologize for my terse reply. Hopefully you will not find it offensive. It's just that there are so many types of depression - chronic, severe, major, atypical, double-depression etc. etc. that it's hard to keep up with it all. Most people who think they are depressed are not even depressed.
Questioning the purpose of life, when in full health, with friends around you, with family around you, with nice food to eat around you, with entertainment around you, with a body that is not breaking down bit by bit, cell by cell, is not depression. To be frank, it is the polar opposite - it is indulgence, plain and simple. I've done that too, so I don't judge.
If you can take this in the spirit it is intended, I would say, take your mate out for a few beers, and when is back is turned and his guard is down, kick him hard up the arse (ass if you're American, sorry)!
The Zen masters did similar things to their students, and even when they knew it was coming, it was still a surprise. It works on a very basic level, from 'knocking some sense into someone', to 'sometimes, all people need is a kick up the arse (ass)'.
When true depression takes over a person, they can not be reached, not by friends, family, doctors. This can not be cured by anything, let alone the 'Zen' approach.
As for your friend, just tell him to 'follow his nose'. His ears and eyes are all he needs to find true happiness, and true meaning, in anything, in any waking moment. It is all there for him. If he does not use his ears and eyes, he will never find anything worthwhile and will always be searching, like a ghost, craven for more, to fill a void that can never be filled.