Depression. Where is the purpose in life? [An honest question]
06-24-2016, 08:56 PM
Regarding the OP, I've written various things on the topic; I will summarize some of my thoughts here with hope that it will help you out. I've put effort into reading and comparing philosophies and religions around the world to see what universal ideas exists within them, as well as observed others' life stories, and these are some of the things I've discovered.
1. Living just to have material things, whether lots of money, women (or even just a single woman) leads to misery. (The word misery comes from "miser", one who is stingy and hordes money or things).
Having stuff isn't "bad or wrong" but if it becomes and end unto itself then it leads to sadness. Many great philosophers and religious teachings seem to understand this universal truth. Likewise the Bible pointed out that "the love of money is the root of all evil", evil not just referring to "wicked behavior" but also to poor quality of life in general.
Epicurus and Arthur Schopenhauer for example were very "red pill" for their day and age, and observed that most people who invested their whole lives in marriage, money, or the typical affairs of the world winded up miserable.
They essentially concluded that it was better to have less and appreciate what one has than to be constantly longing for more (e.x. Epicurus' video of 'hedonism' was comfortable, simple living with a group of quality friends, and actually inspired Christian monastic communities).
Likewise St. Paul in the Bible mentioned that ideally it was better for a man to be without a woman, so it does seem to have been an age-old understanding that making "women" one's purpose in life (whether having a lot of women or just one woman) was a poor decision.
Unfortunately in America today many messages on the media promote crass materialism and little actual value, I believe because this serves the interests of companies which want people to spend money on junk that they don't really need, much as cigarette companies once tried to promote cigarettes as a health or "weight loss product" - the media today promotes "working, making money, and being able to impress women" as ends unto themselves simply because they benefit the economy, but not the individuals themselves.
2. Individualism needs to be balanced with community - neither extreme is healthy, as people are social animals and not meant to be islands unto themselves, but at the same time have individual rights and ambitions, and shouldn't be expected to conform blindly to what "the herd does".
Problem is in this day and age individualism is often too over-emphasized; likely as a result of men today being so isolated from one another and the over-diversity of society in which people feel they have little in common with others.
Much of the "self-help" advice today is therefore flawed or absent, since it focuses simply on improving oneself "in a vat", versus actual social contexts and relationships. Most great and accomplished leaders though (with rare exceptions such as Adolf Hitler who was able persuade others by his charisma alone) didn't succeed in work and life simply by thinking "of themselves" or "what they want", they had a "team" and a "mission", and a genuine respect for their teammates.
In the book "Leaders Eat Last", the author explained the team dynamics of the Marine Corps and why they are so successful at what they do, and much of it relates to the leaders having genuine respect for those under them, and them all identifying as a "team" or a "tribe", as opposed to a bunch of isolated "atoms" operating in complete independence from one another, as many men do today, viewing their coworkers or even friends are simple competitors or rivals rather than as part of a team.
Likewise, most highly successful people had a greater purpose or passion behind what they did other than just "get rich", "get lots of women". While again there are exceptions, and some people have been able to become wealthy or successful through pure tenacity or talent, those genuinely satisfied with their lives and doing what they love had a deeper purpose behind why they did it than just "to survive" or "to have more stuff".
Plenty of examples exist, such as entrepreneur Andrew Carnegie and Warren Buffet; they became wealthy because they spend time investing themselves in learning to love and appreciate honest, simple labor, rather than simply "wanting more stuff" or fancying themselves "too good" for low-paying drudge work such as fast food; as many spoiled millennials do today. Likewise successful actors like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise
3. As far as a single, overarching purpose - I won't get into all of the specifics, but I think there is one which transcends all good philosophies and religions. It's essentially to create 'harmony' in the world around you. Essentially one should respect others' rights, honor their obligations, have an active interest in making a difference in the world around them, primarily by pursuing wisdom, not just "stuff".
People who step on others' rights frequently (e.x. essentially violating the Golden Rule) or do not honor their own obligations to others, end up becoming "spiritually" (and often financially) endebated.
Or in other words, people subconsciously and unavoidably expect to be treated the same as they treat others; so if one makes a habit of living only for the self and violating others rights, they will expect the same to come to them, and the end result is having to live in a constant state of anxiety and depression, losing one's trust in the rest of the world. Hence you will see some people who are poor but satisfied, because they repay their debts and expect no more than they deserve, and miserable but wealthy people, who thought "money alone" would give them happiness but found out that without any greater reason to live, it's pretty "lonely at the top".
(As an example of the "debt analogy" the top of my head, Nazi physician Josef Mengele escaped the Nuremberg trails after his killings, and spent the rest of his life living comfortably in Argentina. However people who knew him when he was still alive testified that he lived in a constant state of paranoia, always on alert out of fear that eventually someone would come to "collect the social debt" he had incurred.)
Happiness therefore seems to come less directly from physical comfort and convenience and more of being in a state of balanced "social debt", much as a man living in a small home paid of in cash is likely actually more comfortable than a man living in a mansion, having to spend all of his income each month just paying of the mortgage.
So while your friend "having a lot of money and women" isn't a problem in itself (as some jealous people might claim), if he is stepping over others in his life just to have more things which he thinks will make him happy, he is probably creating his own depression.
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