Quote: (03-16-2016 07:04 PM)doodlebug786 Wrote:
Quote: (03-16-2016 12:17 PM)doc holliday Wrote:
Sorry AccF428 I know we've gone off track from your original post but a lot of this stuff is still very relevant to what you're going through. Man doodlebug that sucks, even my wife when we were married didn't do that shit. The one big thing you have going for you is that your father in law is an old school Muslim who sympathizes with you.
In my mind you probably need to get medieval on this bitches ass - not physically of course but in every other way. If you can somehow leverage your fil''s support, you could be able to get her ass back under control. In any situation like this, every chick has a weak point you can exploit to keep her in check. You gotta find it and being married to her this long you should know her pretty well. Her tendencies, how she reacts etc. Find those areas of weakness and hit mercilessly there to try and control her ass.
My wife was unhappy for years and while I did what I could to keep her satisfied, I also never put up with any of her bullshit and I kept her in check for as long as I could. She still did her stupid shit but not to the level of your wife. Whatever you do, don't get physical with her (you're doing well there already it appears) but don't let her get away with any nonsense. Tell her you expect her to behave like an adult and do your best to maintain your frame.
Yeh Sorry ACC, I don;t want to look like hijacking this thread. Hopefully it's all relevant. and thanks Doc I will take that advice actually...much appreciated. Yeh I don't get physical....which is a tough act when she does and I just have to take it. Back home all this is would be a no-brainer. any seperation and the kids get awarded straight to the father no questions asked like it should be.
Anyway thanks guys.
and ACC hang in there with your kid in anyway you can...you will not regret it.
It's all good guys. If anyone can get anything out of this thread beyond my original post, I'm happy. I think you guys have all helped me get my head on top of my shoulders, and I sincerely appreciate your wisdom, insight, and knowledge. I just need to get my head straight and focused.
It came to me today, as I was spiraling downward. I kept thinking to myself, this shit keeps getting worse, and I wasn't sure how to get over the grieving. I read the first chapter of the book gorilla mindset, kept reviewing the forum, tried working out, making sure I ate healthy. My mind wasn't having it. I kept thinking about how this bitch betrayed long term goals for her short term pleasures.
Then it came to me. I was letting my emotions fuck me over the past couple of years. I was ruled by my passion, my hate, my anger, and making decisions based on what I felt, because the women around me complained that I was too logical, too unemotional. I tried to become what they wanted. I lost myself. My game got shitty, my social life fucked, and I slowly became more and more beta. I mean, when I went after my child's mother, it was only to use her for my sexual needs. She acted like a slut, and then the next thing I know I was trying to wife her.
The point is, I began to make decisions using my emotions, and it fucked me over. It fucked me over in my already shitty relationship, it set me behind when I needed to do what I needed to do, and I was heading towards a place where because of my feelings of resentment, I was making the next decision of not being in my son's life. When I realized this, clarity came. My pain lessened. I don't know for how long it will stay with me. But I feel a hell of a lot better already.
Just a related piece of text that I wanted to share from a book I'm reading:
“The most important of these skills, and power’s crucial foundation, is the ability to master your emotions. An emotional response to a situation is the single greatest barrier to power, a mistake that will cost you a lot more than any temporary satisfaction you gain by expressing your feelings. Emotions cloud reason, and if you cannot see the situation clearly, you cannot prepare for and respond to it with any degree of control.
Anger is the most destructive of emotional responses, for it clouds your vision the most. It also has a ripple effect that invariably makes situations less controllable and heightens your enemy’s resolve. If you are trying to destroy an enemy who has hurt you, far better to keep him off-guard by feigning friendliness than showing your anger.
Love and affection are also potentially destructive, in that they blind you to the often self-serving interests of those whom you least“suspect of playing a power game. You cannot repress anger or love, or avoid feeling them, and you should not try. But you should be careful about how you express them, and most important, they should never influence your plans and strategies in any way.”
Excerpt From: Greene, Robert. “The 48 Laws of Power.” PENGUIN group, 2015-11-30. iBooks.
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