[lifeizfunhuh]

Here is an interesting debate I've been having with some good friends who crush it... the number of girls you can successfully (and enjoyably) have in rotation at any one time. Based on years of experience, my answer is three. But my friends disagree, as they often have more than that.

And when I say three, I mean three regulars. I usually have three basically concurrent girlfriends at a time. Three pretty much means I'm getting laid every night if I want and in the morning, with a different one the next night.

Three girls still leaves time for going out, and pipe lining the occasional new one. It's important of course to keep new ones coming in... Now, I don't promise them anything, and am vague about our status. I live in San Diego and am fairly successful with a dope lifestyle, and the girls here pretty much don't ask questions, or make vague comments about me being a player. I mention this because, even though I don't have a "girlfriend", I still make an effort to have my housekeeper CSI my home every day, change sheets, etc. so that I don't rub it in anyone's face. I've found I can get away with a lot when things are assumed but never spoken of, or verified. But making all these efforts, including having a girl over most nights can be a lot of work... and more than three is too much hassle to be fun. And that's what it's about itsn't it?

Again, three is pretty consistent for me, although right now I have been stretching myself with four, and it's getting really taxing. I've been in this situation many times and when there is more than three, I start to get dissatisfied with the lifestyle because it's not fun anymore. A man still needs time to spend with friends, engage in hobbies, etc. The problem is, when I'm so flush, women just come out of the woodwork and I have a hard time saying no. Good problem to have I guess...

So my friends who are even bigger players than me do it with ONS and seeing girls only occasionally. But I prefer to have a connection with someone, and won't fuck a girl that I don't intend to fuck again. This keeps my standards high.

If anyone can consistently handle more than three at a time... I want to know how you do it, because, as we all do here, I really love fresh new pussy.

[scorpion]

I've found that juggling women is literally like juggling. With some practice and experience you can reliably juggle three (balls or women). But adding that fourth really throws a wrench in things for some reason. It seems at least twice as difficult, at least in my experience. I think there just isn't enough time in the day and enough mental attention to spread around more than three women to keep them sufficiently on the hook. Guys who are highly extroverted and/or constantly on their phone (and good at text game) will have an advantage when it comes to keeping larger harems.

I think three is probably the magic number, though. Since it allows you sufficient time and energy to still remain on the prowl, you are essentially maintaining your harem of three while constantly looking for a new addition to bump out your #3 ranked girl. If you get too greedy and try to run a harem of four, five or six girls you're either going to either greatly sacrifice quality (easier to string along a 4 than a 7) or else have an extremely high attrition rate since you can't devote enough attention to each girl to keep them coming around.

You could also consider friendzoning some of the girls who come onto your radar as opposed to passing them by or trying to get them in your harem. Use them for abundance mentality, social proof and pre-selection, and be flirtatious with them but don't hook up or fuck. If you're already getting laid satisfactorily sometimes it's a lot of fun to just flirt and enjoy the sexual tension. This leaves them open to joining your harem in the future but saves you 95% of the time requirement needed for an active harem girl. The best way to do this is to just meet up with these girls with other friends or at parties, and send them occasional flirty (but not overtly sexual) texts. Game them and make your value known, but don't actively pursue them. The key is to never isolate. Don't let them be alone with you. Think of it as a very slow boil. Although, fair warning, if you do this right over time you will literally drive some of these girls so crazy they will do stuff like show up at your house or follow you to your car one night, simply to put an end to the sexual tension by finally fucking you. Of course, other girls you do this to won't respond at all. In fact, you will lose most of the girls you try to friendzone. But you will definitely convert on some in the future, and can benefit from the social value they provide in the meanwhile.

But as you said, this is certainly one of the best "problems" a man can have in his life (and it's a problem that often doesn't last as long as you'd hope), so count your blessings and enjoy it while it lasts.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Three with each thinking that they are in some form of committed relationship with you(as in implied exclusivity). Any more than that and the rest find out.

If you include girls whom you are involved with on clearly stated physical terms, then that number is as high as your sex drive can take you.

In general three in total is the recommended number I would say even with the previous stipulation. A pissed off irrational woman whom finds you are seeing others even if it's a physical relationship you have with said irrational woman could cause you serious harm. The chance of that increases exponentially with each woman past the number three you engage with simply on the basis on how much communication you're getting.

I don't play with high risk what ifs like the chance of triggering the worst in a woman. Odds are you'll get burned.

[Mercenary]

You can have more than 3, if the others are in different cities and/or countries and you don't see them as often.

[Stimulus]

(02-13-2016 06:07 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

You can have more than 3, if the others are in different cities and/or countries and you don't see them as often.

A girl you bang once every 1-2 months isn't part of your harem. I don't know if there's a defined rule of thumb regarding when you can speak of a harem but in my opinion a girl is part of your harem when you get to fuck her at least once every 5 days or so. More often if you 'allow' her more of your time.

[Stratos]

the juggling analogy is great. my experience is 3 can last a little while, any temporary spikes to 4 5 or 6 will shake out some of the older ones.

[Mercenary]

(02-13-2016 06:07 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

You can have more than 3, if the others are in different cities and/or countries and you don't see them as often.

(02-13-2016 07:44 AM)Stimulus Wrote:  

A girl you bang once every 1-2 months isn't part of your harem.
I don't know if there's a defined rule of thumb regarding when you can speak of a harem but in my opinion a girl is part of your harem when you get to fuck her at least once every 5 days or so.

[lifeizfunhuh]

There's been some excellent feedback from members in this group, and I really want to thank everyone for the thoughtful discussion. This is one of my most frequent deep thoughts about game, because it goes directly to the issue of how to maximize pleasure from our interactions with women. I think it's a key part of the higher levels of this game we play… So here are some of my additional comments:

First, there seems to be a lot of consensus that there is a sweet spot at around three girls. I think this is wisdom. However, I'm talking about three regular girls, not ones that come in and out on a one off or irregular basis. I think it's particularly easy to have occasional sex with girls you've been with in the past AND you were the one to (explicitly) end it. I tell my friends that you can always go back, if you leave the right way. For example, I was casually seeing this one plate for about three months, when I got the sense that she was developing feelings, so I had to cut her off. This was true, but mostly the novelty of new pussy had worn off. So I told her I didn't think she could handle our arrangement anymore and I was ( for her own good), letting her go. Fast forward to yesterday, and she sent me a flirty text out of the blue. So I invited her over last night. A very similar thing happened with another girl I cut loose, who last weekend random texted me while I was making breakfast, so I naturally assumed she wanted the d. she came over and basically insisted on sucking my dick. So these examples abound especially if you're willing to recycle.

Second comment relates to something scorpion said about friend zoning girls. I think this is a great idea, and one that I should try to implement. I have a tendency to let the masculine desire to conquer a woman override my rational understanding that a three girl policy is best. In other words I just gorge myself. Even if I'm flush at the moment, if this girl who meets my standards wants to fuck me right now, she's going to get fucked. And as I said in my opening post, how much of this shit do we really want before it takes up too much of our lives.

I really think slowly friend zoning them, might be a much better approach. In this way, we all get our own "orbiters" just like women do. Break glass in case of emergency kind of pussy. My tendency however, is to just break the fucking glass.

Last point is also in response to scorpion. It has to do with how long can we stretch this out. i'm 35, and have been doing this for quite a long time, and I have friends in my very close social circle that are real ballers in their late 40s and 50s who hook up and date the same young twentysomethings that I do. One of them is 48, short ugly little Mexican guy who is charming like a motherfucker. He has a 26-year-old gorgeous girlfriend who genuinely loves him, like ride or die, and hunts for HOT other girls to bring home for threesomes. The shit gets crazy. I could go into a lot of examples. However I also realize that Southern California has a unique sexual ecosystem for that type of pairing and lifestyle. I think there are some other places like New York City where you can play the game as long as you want, which is not replicable in many locations.

Good post keep it coming.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(02-13-2016 09:09 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(02-13-2016 06:07 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

You can have more than 3, if the others are in different cities and/or countries and you don't see them as often.

(02-13-2016 07:44 AM)Stimulus Wrote:  

A girl you bang once every 1-2 months isn't part of your harem.
I don't know if there's a defined rule of thumb regarding when you can speak of a harem but in my opinion a girl is part of your harem when you get to fuck her at least once every 5 days or so.

I'd put a harem member as any girl you fuck every two weeks at minimum and/or buys things for you(but that you fuck every three weeks at minimum). Any woman willing to throw money at you is be technicality a harem member. I also try to see any woman I'm seeing regularly at most twice a week so fucking her once a week is let alone 5 days is too little time.

(02-13-2016 09:58 AM)lifeizfunhuh Wrote:  

First, there seems to be a lot of consensus that there is a sweet spot at around three girls. I think this is wisdom. However, I'm talking about three regular girls, not ones that come in and out on a one off or irregular basis. I think it's particularly easy to have occasional sex with girls you've been with in the past AND you were the one to (explicitly) end it. I tell my friends that you can always go back, if you leave the right way. For example, I was casually seeing this one plate for about three months, when I got the sense that she was developing feelings, so I had to cut her off. This was true, but mostly the novelty of new pussy had worn off. So I told her I didn't think she could handle our arrangement anymore and I was ( for her own good), letting her go. Fast forward to yesterday, and she sent me a flirty text out of the blue. So I invited her over last night. A very similar thing happened with another girl I cut loose, who last weekend random texted me while I was making breakfast, so I naturally assumed she wanted the d. she came over and basically insisted on sucking my dick. So these examples abound especially if you're willing to recycle.

You need this post right here: thread-39626.html

There's a reason a woman is your ex. I don't recommend going back to any woman you were seeing regularly period. That's the fast track to getting stabbed or yourself catching feelings. You dumped her for good reason. Keep it that way.

Quote:

Second comment relates to something scorpion said about friend zoning girls. I think this is a great idea, and one that I should try to implement. I have a tendency to let the masculine desire to conquer a woman override my rational understanding that a three girl policy is best. In other words I just gorge myself. Even if I'm flush at the moment, if this girl who meets my standards wants to fuck me right now, she's going to get fucked. And as I said in my opening post, how much of this shit do we really want before it takes up too much of our lives.

I really think slowly friend zoning them, might be a much better approach. In this way, we all get our own "orbiters" just like women do. Break glass in case of emergency kind of pussy. My tendency however, is to just break the fucking glass.

I wouldn't treat woman like orbiters. It's a fine line that you have a mutually beneficial relationship. For example: where she's joining your crew on nights out for her to look cool and her presence being social proof as well. Realize things are significantly easier for attractive women. They have men lining up on her phone to fuck her.

There has to be incentive for her to stick around.

Quote:

Last point is also in response to scorpion. It has to do with how long can we stretch this out. i'm 35, and have been doing this for quite a long time, and I have friends in my very close social circle that are real ballers in their late 40s and 50s who hook up and date the same young twentysomethings that I do. One of them is 48, short ugly little Mexican guy who is charming like a motherfucker. He has a 26-year-old gorgeous girlfriend who genuinely loves him, like ride or die, and hunts for HOT other girls to bring home for threesomes. The shit gets crazy. I could go into a lot of examples. However I also realize that Southern California has a unique sexual ecosystem for that type of pairing and lifestyle. I think there are some other places like New York City where you can play the game as long as you want, which is not replicable in many locations.

Good post keep it coming.

Granted Cali and NYC are a bit special, but if women can do it there they can do it anywhere. It's all a matter of how you want to live. I know plenty of guys whom are sugar babies for attractive women in their mid 20s at 21-23 whom set them up in apartments and these girls are buying them BMWs. That kind of crap happens everywhere just make it happen for you.

[debeguiled]

[Akwesi]

Western culture has a fetish for the number three, and I think that's what's coming out in some of these posts. It is certainly quite possible to have a much larger number of girls in your rotation if you want. That number could easily be 5 or even 10 if you have no work or other obligations and a strong sex drive. It all depends on how you define a harem or rotation (and I'm unsure whether the two are really exactly the same thing), but I think once every five days is far too restrictive. Rather I would prefer to think of a stable of girls in tiers where you have one or two bottom bitches that you see once or twice a week and then you have others who only get to play once or twice a month (maybe they live further away, or they're just too annoying outside of bed, whatever), with intermediate categories in between. Think of a harem in more dynamic terms with girls coming in and out over time, with the effects of new relationship energy playing a big part.

It's of course true that the risk of getting caught increases exponentially as you build a larger rotation. You have to consider how big of a deal that is really going to be to you and the girls involved. In some cultures it's not really all that important. One unfortunate development is the growing popularity of video chat and the general turn toward constant accessibility through smartphones and social media.

The big question for me is how many girls you can have in an in-house harem, as I intend to build one pretty soon. I suppose that even in this community there's not much to go on when it comes to such a set-up, but I would love to get some input. I've been going back and forth between shooting for three or four.

[brazilian]

I don`t like to " keep " girls around. Seriously.

Normally i bang once or twice the same women.

[_GQ_]

Two. There aren't enough hours in the week to deal with more than two women and also, work, gym, self improve, chase new leads, etc.

[lifeizfunhuh]

To those that are saying "the sky is the limit", I hear you theoretically. But it's when you take it from theory into real life that it becomes problematic. If your position is more than theoretical, as a practical matter how do you manage it on a day-to-day basis?

And to those who say you only bang out once or twice, is it because you aren't selective enough with your prospects? I know after fucking hot young girls, there are certainly some I want to bang out as long as possible, or until I get bored. But the thought of banging out once or twice doesn't compute for me unless they are fuglies just to get your nut

[ttvGearHead]

Depending on work schedule or other activities (working out), the way I look at it is: 3 is another full time job. 4 or higher is working extra over time

[pipercub]

Assuming that the ideal number is 3, and that for a girl to be part of your "harem" you'd have to be shagging her at least every 5 days or so, you'd spending at least 3-4 evenings/nights a week with these girls. As GQ pointed out, it just doesn't add up if you want to combine this with doing your best at work, going to the gym, learning languages/devoting time other hobbies, going out with friends and whatnot.

Granted that I have never had 3 girls in my rotation for more than two weeks or so (in Mexico City), I was already with two starting to mix up things. Let alone having to swipe my place clean after one had left and making sure my phone and laptop were out of reach when I had another one over. If you want to have meaningful relations (highest possible ROI, not commitment) with girls you regularly bang, 2 is the maximum.

[zuma]

For me the best is 1 + 2, pareto law 80% / 20%

Girl no.1 that you see quiet often - every 3-4 days, let's say once during weekdays and once during weekend. Usually, the girl that you like the most in terms of look and personality with whom you can spend more time.

Goir no.2,3 (or more) that you see every week/two weeks or so, to have a drink/party and bang.

In terms of time spent (communication) it's 80% with girl no.1 with bullshit to keep her interested without fully investing in her
20% with other girls, to keep in touch and organize appointments.

[stpete]

This is a great thread. Never seen it discussed but have also found the magic number of three and well defined by Zuma. The 80/20 rule ....with one fairly regular and the others thrown in for now and then. Making up the magic 3.

Further defined it's sort of a sliding scale. With a #1 and a #2 and a #3. Each given a bit more time. #3 is special one with a unique situation. In my situations the #3 is usually so unique that she stays while the others may be replaced.

[kaotic]

Stepping in on this based on my experience.

Let's break it down:

7 days in a week - most guys aren't going to be rotating 7 girls, because it becomes almost impossible to reschedule with other girls and the harem rotation for that week falls apart.

1 girl a week, and oneitis and scarcity starts to set in, basically your unofficial girl.

I've had a range for 2-5

I've learned that 5 is just too many to deal with and maintain. I don't have time for that and it can drain you.

So yes 3 seems to be sage advice.

Why ?

-You have free time to do your own thing.
-Time to game other women and go on dates.
-Have the weekends to yourself or with your friends.
-Time to reschedule in case of flakes, she's on her period, etc.
-Life happens, you might need to do other things
-Low maintenance

There was almost a 2 year period where I had an LTR that I saw 2-3 times a week and I had a steady rotation of 2-3 girls, AND I worked 7 days week.

The LTR were set days, the girls rotated, I also had some girls on the back end, aka irregular girls in the rotation that came and went.

I also was able to fit in a date or two every week.

I takes management to lock down a harem and still have free time, I managed to do it for a very long while. I still have a harem of about 2 girls, and irregular rotational girls. I'm mostly focused on banging new girls and going on new dates.

All this can be done, you've just gotta grind, and make sure you're happy with it.

Sometimes having too many girls can be a first world problem, the most important thing is having girls around that complement your life and will work with your schedule.

Every girl I'm with knows I work alot, they know I'm busy or out of town. They need to understand this in the very beginning.

[I DIDN'T KILL MY WIFE]

3 would be on the upper end for me to constantly juggle around, 2 was my preference. It was just getting way to taxing with the constant texting, scheduling and fucking. Of course, each one would expect a royalty fucking session, but when you've just drained your nuts with one girl, the desire to perform another magical bedroom session is low. I think it depends on the person, if someone is horny 24/7 then the more the merrier. I get my fill of sex and then I just wanna chill out and get some chill time for a day or 2.


I mean, you are supposed to do it for your own fun and enjoyment, not make this into a 2nd job. I'd much rather go to the gym, do self-improvement, read, meet friends etc than put all that time into maintaining a huge amount of girls. This is the most important question you have to honestly answer to yourself: is this even still fun? Yes you are having fun during sex for an hour, but is all the other stuff around the sex part fun for you to keep having on your mind?

[LongDongSilver]

To me the classic set up is a bird you live with, then the "regular" side piece aka mistress. Then just fuck whatever else you can get away with without getting found out.

[Stimulus]

(02-13-2016 09:09 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(02-13-2016 06:07 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

You can have more than 3, if the others are in different cities and/or countries and you don't see them as often.

(02-13-2016 07:44 AM)Stimulus Wrote:  

A girl you bang once every 1-2 months isn't part of your harem.
I don't know if there's a defined rule of thumb regarding when you can speak of a harem but in my opinion a girl is part of your harem when you get to fuck her at least once every 5 days or so.

I'm being serious though. Is there some RVF definition of when to speak of a harem and when a girl is part of it?

My '5 days or so' obviously isn't a fixed timeframe but more like what I personally would prefer, give or take some days. Not that it really matters since I have no interest in building a harem at the moment.

[Adrenaline]

I'm far to lazy, and don't have a high enough bullshit tolerance, to keep a harem. If I've already banged the girl, I would rather go out to the bars and clubs and hunt new meat than see her again. Then even if I fail, I still enjoy myself because the chase is better than the actual sex for me, whereas most of my mates would rather have easy sex than have to go out. Maybe if the girl really did it for me, I would keep one on call.

[Jtguthrie12]

I get bored too quick and girls get clingy as hell. So i usually find one get with her a few days in a week. When she starts getting annoying or i can tell she is getting clingy or catching feelings, i cut her off and find a new girl. I keep it on good terms with them though so i can fuck with them in the future if i so desire.

juggling 3 girls continuously sounds like a headache.

[Mercenary]

(02-13-2016 07:44 AM)Stimulus Wrote:  

...in my opinion a girl is part of your harem when you get to fuck her at least once every 5 days or so. More often if you 'allow' her more of your time.

By this criteria my harem number is usually 2

(02-13-2016 12:03 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Any woman willing to throw money at you is be technicality a harem member.

By this criteria my harem number is usually 6 or 7

(They will pick me up at the airport if I visit their country, spend money on me, and make their pussies available....but I see them only a few times a year at the most.)

(02-16-2016 09:06 PM)Stimulus Wrote:  

I'm being serious though. Is there some RVF definition of when to speak of a harem and when a girl is part of it?

Yeah...I'm confused as well.