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On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)
#51

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:57 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I really doubt that a BPD chick can remain loyal, faith, and monogamous in a relationship. They just thrive too much on male attention, are sex addicts, plus have absolutely zero sense of guilt, with some kind of really distorted sense of entitlement. On top of that they're deathly afraid of being alone, so they're always looking to have a back up dude.

Not that any of this should come as a surprise, but for any guys with romantic notions of how good moments of their relationship were, the truth is most likely that they were fucking some other guy(s) behind your back. The fucked up thing is that they are such masters of lying and manipulation that often they will spoon feed you bullshit, but do it so utterly convincingly that you fall for their scam.

Add to that their crazy jealousy and possessiveness and it makes a man think that there is no way she'd cheat on me, because she "loves me so much" and is "deathly afraid of losing me", which are lines they will continuously tell you. The way they are able to stroke your ego and make you feel like a "king" is incredible, it can be very intoxicating when a seductive beautiful woman is telling it to you, but in reality everything they say and do is a lie.

Many winters ago I read this wisdom somewhere:
"Everytime you have sex with a women, she takes a piece of your soul."

It stuck in my mind since I could not really work it out, but now it is pretty much is like a fist in my face.

It is a transaction. You are acquiring pussy. And you payment in the S$....Soul Dollars. BPD pussy the juciest, however priced at the very top end.

“A deception that elevates us is dearer than a host of low truths.”
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#52

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-29-2015 02:19 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

If you've ever wondered, even for a second, "is she banging him?", the answer is yes.

BPDs get their validation through male attention and affection. They're fascinated with the tattoo artist, the wall street banker, and even the dry cleaner. They thrive on attention from men. And the best way to maintain that attention is sex. They'll lie about how they're "just friends" or "business connections." This doesn't stop once the BPD gets engaged or married, either.

BPDs are more promiscuous than you could imagine, but they'll cover it up in sweet lies that you'll actually believe. Expect to hear a lot of "I spent the night at my sister's house", "I was saving ducks crossing the road", or "I went to bed early last night", and to believe it. At the same time, those stains on her bed were from "watching movies and eating Chinese food with her sister."

My BPD ex-girlfriend became "besties" with one of my close female friends. When we broke up, my female friend was astonished at how many partners the BPD had, both while we were together and after it ended. Even she couldn't take the constant influx of men. She would be "talking to" (read: banging) 10 - 12 guys at a time. That she knew about. Normal women grow to hate BPDs.

These women usually have no female friends for a reason. Everything that comes out of their mouth is a lie. They obsess over a male for hot minute and then move on.

As sad as it sounds, I'd bet my BPD ex was running similar #'s behind my back. Either no female friends, or 1 main friend who has her back because her support justifies her "you go girlisms," which is her form of slut defense mechanism. The SDM in BPDs however, happens after the fuck, not before the fuck with LMR or total resistance thwarting sex altogether with would-be suitors.

There's no doubt in my mind, during each and every break up we had - mind you complete out of the blue left field fights she'd start - she fucked 1, if not multiple guys. In my mind, she might as well have been a prostitute, and essentially is in function to this world.
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#53

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:01 PM)Ingocnito Wrote:  

There's no doubt in my mind, during each and every break up we had - mind you complete out of the blue left field fights she'd start - she fucked 1, if not multiple guys. In my mind, she might as well have been a prostitute, and essentially is in function to this world.

Except working girls are generally far more honest.
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#54

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:57 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

They just thrive too much on male attention, are sex addicts, plus have absolutely zero sense of guilt, with some kind of really distorted sense of entitlement. On top of that they're deathly afraid of being alone, so they're always looking to have a back up dude.

Remove the context of BPD from this quotation and it sounds like typical urban American young woman behavior.
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#55

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 05:09 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:57 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

They just thrive too much on male attention, are sex addicts, plus have absolutely zero sense of guilt, with some kind of really distorted sense of entitlement. On top of that they're deathly afraid of being alone, so they're always looking to have a back up dude.

Remove the context of BPD from this quotation and it sounds like typical urban American young woman behavior.


I think most American women express shades of BPD characteristics, I believe that psychiatries' DSM has 7 characteristics attributed to BPD, to be diagnosed a woman has to have 5 out of the 7. My ex 100% checked 6 out of the 7 boxes, the only thing I don't think she ever did was cut herself.

For sure American women thrive on male attention, usually have little sense of guilt for their actions, and have a twisted sense of entitlement much like a BPD. The difference is the sheer madness and insanity that a true BPD will exhibit, I'm talking about smiling happy one moment, then on the flip of a switch turn into a crying, screaming, hysterical, and violent psycho the next. There is an extremeness to it that you don't really see with your average typical white American girl aged 18-34.
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#56

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 05:17 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Quote: (12-30-2015 05:09 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:57 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

They just thrive too much on male attention, are sex addicts, plus have absolutely zero sense of guilt, with some kind of really distorted sense of entitlement. On top of that they're deathly afraid of being alone, so they're always looking to have a back up dude.

Remove the context of BPD from this quotation and it sounds like typical urban American young woman behavior.


I think most American women express shades of BPD characteristics, I believe that psychiatries' DSM has 7 characteristics attributed to BPD, to be diagnosed a woman has to have 5 out of the 7. My ex 100% checked 6 out of the 7 boxes, the only thing I don't think she ever did was cut herself.

For sure American women thrive on male attention, usually have little sense of guilt for their actions, and have a twisted sense of entitlement much like a BPD. The difference is the sheer madness and insanity that a true BPD will exhibit, I'm talking about smiling happy one moment, then on the flip of a switch turn into a crying, screaming, hysterical, and violent psycho the next. There is an extremeness to it that you don't really see with your average typical white American girl aged 18-34.

Ding dong.

Followed by sex that's like nothing you've ever had before.

My one friend used to call my ex-BPD "bacon pussy." "Bro, is her pussy made of bacon?"

It was.
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#57

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 05:17 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Quote: (12-30-2015 05:09 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

Quote: (12-29-2015 01:57 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

They just thrive too much on male attention, are sex addicts, plus have absolutely zero sense of guilt, with some kind of really distorted sense of entitlement. On top of that they're deathly afraid of being alone, so they're always looking to have a back up dude.

Remove the context of BPD from this quotation and it sounds like typical urban American young woman behavior.


I think most American women express shades of BPD characteristics, I believe that psychiatries' DSM has 7 characteristics attributed to BPD, to be diagnosed a woman has to have 5 out of the 7. My ex 100% checked 6 out of the 7 boxes, the only thing I don't think she ever did was cut herself.

For sure American women thrive on male attention, usually have little sense of guilt for their actions, and have a twisted sense of entitlement much like a BPD. The difference is the sheer madness and insanity that a true BPD will exhibit, I'm talking about smiling happy one moment, then on the flip of a switch turn into a crying, screaming, hysterical, and violent psycho the next. There is an extremeness to it that you don't really see with your average typical white American girl aged 18-34.

Yeah, it seem that a lot of personality disorders are constitutional forms of immaturity - self-centeredness, lack of responsibility for one's actions, magical thinking, consumption-oriented excess (sex addiction etc). Most of the bad American women are immature, not insane.

This reminds me actually of Dr. Drew's theory about the "little girl voice" - Pinsky believes that childhood abuse causes women victims to freeze their vocal patterns around the age of the event, IOW adult baby-voiced women are likely to be harboring psychological damage from past abuse.

http://loveline.wikia.com/wiki/Little_Girl_Voice

"Drew often suggests closing one's eyes and imagining that you know nothing about the speaker (including their real age) and concentrating on how old the speaker makes you feel like they are."
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#58

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

A lot of what we've discussed in terms of borderline personality disorder seems to be interchangeable with bipolar disorder (especially considering both have manic aspects to them).

Anyone able to sum up to key differences?
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#59

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 06:35 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  

A lot of what we've discussed in terms of borderline personality disorder seems to be interchangeable with bipolar disorder (especially considering both have manic aspects to them).

Anyone able to sum up to key differences?

There's a definite difference. For one thing, the lack of empathy/manipulation/uncaring about consequences aspect of the cluster B disorders is usually absent in bipolar. Someone with bipolar may do reckless things in a manic state, but generally feels genuine remorse about their actions after the fact. It seems people with bipolar often have more insight into the nature of their disorders than the cluster B, though in severe episodes of mania/depression there may be psychotic aspects where they lose insight.

I think someone put it that essentially bipolar is more of a "human" disorder than borderline/narcissism, i.e. they're experiencing "normal" types of human emotions, just way more strongly than "normal" people do. And they're generally not using those displays of emotions simply for manipulative purposes the way someone with BPD might.

Bipolar is also generally more treatable from a medication/therapy standpoint. And often the patients who are correctly diagnosed genuinely want to get better because they know something is not right, and they're tired of the mood swings fucking with their life.
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#60

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 07:14 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Quote: (12-30-2015 06:35 PM)Windom Earle Wrote:  

A lot of what we've discussed in terms of borderline personality disorder seems to be interchangeable with bipolar disorder (especially considering both have manic aspects to them).

Anyone able to sum up to key differences?

There's a definite difference. For one thing, the lack of empathy/manipulation/uncaring about consequences aspect of the cluster B disorders is usually absent in bipolar. Someone with bipolar may do reckless things in a manic state, but generally feels genuine remorse about their actions after the fact. It seems people with bipolar often have more insight into the nature of their disorders than the cluster B, though in severe episodes of mania/depression there may be psychotic aspects where they lose insight.

I think someone put it that essentially bipolar is more of a "human" disorder than borderline/narcissism, i.e. they're experiencing "normal" types of human emotions, just way more strongly than "normal" people do. And they're generally not using those displays of emotions simply for manipulative purposes the way someone with BPD might.

Bipolar is also generally more treatable from a medication/therapy standpoint. And often the patients who are correctly diagnosed genuinely want to get better because they know something is not right, and they're tired of the mood swings fucking with their life.

Posts like this remind me why I love this forum. So much knowledge on a huge array of subjects.
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#61

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-30-2015 07:55 PM)thoughtgypsy Wrote:  

Posts like this remind me why I love this forum. So much knowledge on a huge array of subjects.

Well, I'm not a mental health professional, and I may get some things wrong. My overall impression of bipolar, from both interacting with people who have been diagnosed, and talking with mental health professionals who have experience, is that bipolar is often characterized by an overabundance of empathy, not a lack of it. They get thrown into depressive/manic states because they just feel things "harder" than other people. And if they aren't treated appropriately, they often turn to street drugs/alcohol to damp the highs and numb the lows.

Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix. etc. That's how the story ends sometimes.

A girl or guy with bipolar is going to take any breakup really, really hard. But I'd say they're a lot more likely to write vauge Facebook entries and listen to depressing music for a few weeks than say, try to destroy you. But nothing is black and white, and I guess in some people there certainly could be crossover between borderline and bipolar.
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#62

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Some very very good points in this thread. I had a terrible experience with a BPD/bipolar girl that has taken months for me to get over. These girls are dangerous people to be around.
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#63

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

When i think of borderline women the first person who comes to my mind is Tony Soprano's mother. I can only imagine how horrible it would be to date a woman like that.
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#64

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Taken directly from the DSM V, Borderline Personality Disorder is a ``pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and a marked impulsivity.''

Diagnosis criteria include five or more of the following:
1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
**2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.**
3. Identify disturbances: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. (Spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include criteria 5 with 4.
5. Recurrent suicidal behaviors, gestures, threats or self-mutilating behaviors.
6. Affective (the way you display mood, or the experience or feelings of emotion) instability due to marked reactivity of mood.
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger. (This includes frequent displays of temper)
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociation symptoms.

Run away friends, run away.

Likewise, a true Bipolar, most people have never seen one. Bipolar doesnt mean you go from sad to happy back to sad in a day. It doesnt mean you cry one minute and are happy the next. A true bipolar goes from depressed for two weeks and not moving from bed to even shower, to being unable to stop ranting and talking or pacing, including avoiding sleep for days. Bipolar manics are some of the most exhausting patients I have ever dealt with.
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#65

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

As long as we're vaguely on the topic, I've noticed that women as a rule tend to be really bad at recognizing personality disorders in men, like sociopathy or emotional instability (emo). Just thought of this story: I saw this girl briefly last year, a couple dates, one bang. Then when I was on vacation she told me she was seeing someone else and getting exclusive, claimed she wanted me to know so I didn't keep texting with her thinking it was still on. I saw the beta bait coming but played along.

Time goes by, we stay in touch, she tells me he cheated on her, then denied it and had his friend lie for him, then the next time they met up he supposedly assaulted her; she got a restraining order and found out he had done this before to other girls (shocker!)

Whether she was exaggerating or not, I knew shit was fucked when she said "it just seemed really natural from the first time I met him."

I used to tell female friends of mine, if the guy seems really smooth and confident and doesn't seem to get rattled, strong likelihood he's a player, or a straight-up sociopath (one of the skills of sociopaths is transmitting that instant feeling of warmth). But it puts girls in a paradox, because they can't abide a guy who doesn't have that confident frame, even though the frame itself is a half-tell for a mentally unhealthy person.

TL;DR: the girls' love for assholes is strong, the more you tell them how to spot an asshole the faster they'll go straight to them.
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#66

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Fuck, I wish I had found this thread sooner. I'm still dealing with the fallout of a fling with a girl I KNOW was a borderline that ended 3 months ago. Luckily for me we were only together for less than a month so I never got to see her true demon colors. I knew something was up when she idealized the hell out of me for a few weeks and then devalued me.

And this is where Game saved my life. If there's one thing I know about borderlines it's that they prey on weak men, usually those who lack confidence or poor boundaries. It just so happened that when I met her I was at the height of my jerkboy cockiness. I had no problems telling her no and knocking her off her pedestal. She couldn't control me like a good little puppy so she ended things pretty quickly.

So why do I suspect she's a borderline? Because I dated nothing but borderlines for the first 25 years of my life. I wish this was hyperbole but it's not. Every single girl I dated until that point was a fucking nutjob, all following the same script that I would later find out were BPD symptoms. The love bombing, the idealizing, the devaluing, the push-pull, etc., it was all there. What's worse is that like so many have mentioned I got hooked on their affections and ended up having withdrawals from them for WAY too long afterwards. I began thinking about all these girls 24/7, even long after we split. Once I took some time off dating and studied BPD red flags I eventually began to meet real actual NORMAL girls. The passion wasn't as intense as with the BPD girls, but I was amazed at the lack of drama and how low maintenance they were comparatively. When the relationships ended it was also on civil terms and they were able to give me my space. I never once pined for these girls or wanted them back, I was able to accept things didn't work out.

So I dated a girl for less than a month and I'm still dealing with fallout and drama from her 3 months later. How does this happen? Once she devalued me and tried to end things I stupidly tried to work things out with her. She was cold and snarky and my gut told me to run, so I deleted her number and blocked her on all social media. Good enough, right? Except immediately thereafter she began contacting a mutual friend of ours who I also happen to work with. He knew my history with her, and even though I warned him he still pursued her. They're currently dating now and she shows up from time to time. We're still not on speaking terms and we ignore one another, but seeing her just fills me with so much negative emotion.

A few people have told me this is her getting revenge on me, even though I think that's petty as hell even for a BPD, especially one who was just a fling. But they told me to think of it this way - She has tons of beta orbiters and admirers and lives in a bubble of people telling her she's perfect all the time. I shattered that illusion by not playing her games and treating her like a normal human, then cutting off a source of attention/validation by going no contact with her. But in thinking about it they might be right. The night I met this girl this guy was there and he tried to get her to dance. She backed away and looked disgusted. She had known him for a while and never had anything exceptional to say about him. Suddenly things don't work out with me and she moves on to the next closest friend of mine she knows, who happens to be this guy. I doubt this was because of charm on his part because he has no Game. And in my experience, the less Game you have the more susceptible you are to these harpies (It's no coincidence to me that once I began studying game and improved myself the BPDs were off the radar until recently). And since being with her he's pedestalized the fuck out of her, can't shut up about her, constantly wants to see her, is constantly texting her, constantly posting photos of them on social media, etc. Do you think a healthy woman would find this neediness attractive? So I'm sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to blow up in his face.

So guys, heed my advice - If you spot any of the red flags here RUN THE FUCK AWAY. I don't care how hot she is, she'll ruin you. I was stupid with the girl I described here, I knew all the warning signs and willingly ignored them because I got lazy. I got lucky, but you might not.
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#67

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Our society is creating an environment in which the characteristics of Borderline in women are more acceptable. They get a free pass for this as they can act out without reproach. Many of the experiences reported in this thread are examples of how women have free reign as its comes to their lack of accountability,not necessarily true Borderline tendencies.
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#68

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

This thread is great, lots of good information, but the spectrum of fucked up women these days is incredible. More then half of the hottest girls I know have serious illnesses I estimate (narcissims, lack of empathy, completely unable to achieve something, anxiety issues, etc.). We could use some professionals here to make strong datasheets on fucking and keeping mentally ill hot girls while not losing yourself in the end. I´d be interested.
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#69

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (03-02-2016 04:05 PM)rottenapple Wrote:  

This thread is great, lots of good information, but the spectrum of fucked up women these days is incredible. More then half of the hottest girls I know have serious illnesses I estimate (narcissims, lack of empathy, completely unable to achieve something, anxiety issues, etc.). We could use some professionals here to make strong datasheets on fucking and keeping mentally ill hot girls while not losing yourself in the end. I´d be interested.

To both you and Dantes: Yeah, tons of modern women have tons of weird behaviors. But there's a HUGE difference between a girl who's quirky and one who has BPD. If you've never experienced full on BPD then you'll have no clue the misery these creatures can create.

Dantes, you hit the nail on the head about shitty behavior in women being more socially acceptable than ever before. I watched "Girl, Interrupted" recently was was amazed that in the 60's a woman could be committed for over a year because of BPD. Meanwhile today I've seen BPD symptoms in tons of girls who will openly admit they're crazy. Yet they're allowed to walk around freely, the only "punishment" they have is taking medication that will mask some symptoms but not change their overall personalities (Most BPDs are incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar). A guy I know had an obviously BPD girlfriend who vandalized his car after an argument, yet HE got arrested. I know other girls who were into self-harm and suicide attempts in their younger years. No institutions for them, they just got bandaged up at the hospital and were sent home. Millennial women are given positive reinforcement to act like fucking psychos.

And Rottenapple, so many girls I know in the big city are on some kind of anti-anxiety medication or anti-depressant. And while many of them are high-functioning, some of them barely squeak by. The part you mentioned that stands out to me is how they're completely unable to achieve something. White Knighting by society has gotten so bad that a girl can barely function but still be accepted in society. Women used to cook and take care of the home. Now most girls I know have rooms that are a complete mess and they order take-out every night because they can't even boil water. And it's tough to criticize them for their shortcomings because they've been fed bullshit by a "You go girl" society that she's perfect as-is, so your objective assessment must be wrong because no one else ever tells her that.

I've been trying to find a decent, long-term relationship worthy girl for a while now. And it's tough because I either fall into the BPD death trap or I find a girl who can barely take care of herself. And it's not like these are losers, many of them are high-functioning types with good jobs and educations. I enjoy the game tenet of being a self-sufficient man. On the one hand you should be able to take of yourself completely. On the other hand, women fail so spectacularly at traditional female tasks that even if you settled down and got married you'd never be able to count on them to hold up their end of the deal.
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#70

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (03-02-2016 04:43 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

Quote: (03-02-2016 04:05 PM)rottenapple Wrote:  

This thread is great, lots of good information, but the spectrum of fucked up women these days is incredible. More then half of the hottest girls I know have serious illnesses I estimate (narcissims, lack of empathy, completely unable to achieve something, anxiety issues, etc.). We could use some professionals here to make strong datasheets on fucking and keeping mentally ill hot girls while not losing yourself in the end. I´d be interested.

To both you and Dantes: Yeah, tons of modern women have tons of weird behaviors. But there's a HUGE difference between a girl who's quirky and one who has BPD. If you've never experienced full on BPD then you'll have no clue the misery these creatures can create.

Dantes, you hit the nail on the head about shitty behavior in women being more socially acceptable than ever before. I watched "Girl, Interrupted" recently was was amazed that in the 60's a woman could be committed for over a year because of BPD. Meanwhile today I've seen BPD symptoms in tons of girls who will openly admit they're crazy. Yet they're allowed to walk around freely, the only "punishment" they have is taking medication that will mask some symptoms but not change their overall personalities (Most BPDs are incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar). A guy I know had an obviously BPD girlfriend who vandalized his car after an argument, yet HE got arrested. I know other girls who were into self-harm and suicide attempts in their younger years. No institutions for them, they just got bandaged up at the hospital and were sent home. Millennial women are given positive reinforcement to act like fucking psychos.

And Rottenapple, so many girls I know in the big city are on some kind of anti-anxiety medication or anti-depressant. And while many of them are high-functioning, some of them barely squeak by. The part you mentioned that stands out to me is how they're completely unable to achieve something. White Knighting by society has gotten so bad that a girl can barely function but still be accepted in society. Women used to cook and take care of the home. Now most girls I know have rooms that are a complete mess and they order take-out every night because they can't even boil water. And it's tough to criticize them for their shortcomings because they've been fed bullshit by a "You go girl" society that she's perfect as-is, so your objective assessment must be wrong because no one else ever tells her that.

I've been trying to find a decent, long-term relationship worthy girl for a while now. And it's tough because I either fall into the BPD death trap or I find a girl who can barely take care of herself. And it's not like these are losers, many of them are high-functioning types with good jobs and educations. I enjoy the game tenet of being a self-sufficient man. On the one hand you should be able to take of yourself completely. On the other hand, women fail so spectacularly at traditional female tasks that even if you settled down and got married you'd never be able to count on them to hold up their end of the deal.

Yes, all of what you said is true and one thing I want to highlight is that indeed the white knighting contributes a lot to it and it does so in a twofold way. One, hot girls don´t learn how to do anything because guys will do it for them in order to have a chance to get laid, but secondly, like you mentioned, also because no one ever seems to call out these girls and mentions that they are completely worthless. Recently I confronted some model type girls about their lack of qualities and it was interesting to see how competely fazed they were by it. Like no one ever had mentioned that to them. The pass a hot girl gets of society at literally all levels is amazing and although you´d think they can use that to their advantage, for a mayority of them it is a trap. Without the pressure to learn things, to achieve something in life, they cruise to their teenage years having fun, but in the end it comes back to them in their twenties/thirties when they realize that all they have is their looks, they are most likely dependent by that age on one or more men and it hits them. They are nothing, toys for powerful men, soulless creatures who add nothing to no ones life, except for the physical pleasure they provide. They realize they are not fit to be a mother, nor a wife. This then becomes the breading ground for emotional disorders. They survive by the shallow likes they receive on instagram, but depression is right around the corner. Anxiety issues pop up and some can go full crazy as the stories in this thread have highlighted so well.

What can we do about it? Little perhaps, but I advocate at least putting them in their place as early on as possible. I see it as an obligation to society to tell a young 19yo cutie that she needs to start doing shit, having seen how they end up ten years later. Some of them will punish you for it and dissappear out of your life, so be it. And yes, off course I´m not immune to their looks and charisma, so I will offer to help them to become something better. But always keep in mind, there is a difference in helping someone learn or teaching something vs. doing it for them. That is crucial and differentiates the knowleadgable alpha with the beta. The difficult part for me still is to be able to identify lost causes. Sometimes you just got to pull the trigger on a person, no matter how hot she is. That or you put her in the harem if your cold/emotionally detached enough.
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#71

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Lex S.

A few points on BPDs:

The prevalence rate is estimated between 1-6 percent of the population.

Treatment outcomes are terrible and many mental health professionals stay clear of treating them due to poor treatment outcomes and having self-interest in protecting themselves from working professionally with them.

The reason for a reduction for inpatient services both in terms of admission and length of stay is purely insurance driven. Insurance companies just won't provide this type of coverage like the one you reference in the 60s. Someone has to pay for it...

It is true that BPD is often misdiagnosed as Bipolar Disorder as the features are difficult to discriminate clinically.
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#72

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (03-02-2016 06:03 PM)rottenapple Wrote:  

One, hot girls don´t learn how to do anything because guys will do it for them in order to have a chance to get laid, but secondly, like you mentioned, also because no one ever seems to call out these girls and mentions that they are completely worthless. Recently I confronted some model type girls about their lack of qualities and it was interesting to see how competely fazed they were by it. Like no one ever had mentioned that to them.

I first realized this a few years ago when I was trying to break out of my White Knight programming. A friend and I are singers and we liked to hit up karaoke bars to belt out some tunes and talk with people about music. Since we could hold our own on the mic we would get tons of applause at the end. But there were a few other people who would get similar levels of applause - Hot girls. I remember a blond bimbo getting up on stage and out of key talk-singing her way through a Mariah Carey song. It was atrocious. Yet she got a standing ovation when she was done, and all these guys came up to tell her she was amazing.

As someone who has a lot of hobbies, I value people who have lots of interests. As men we need to be interesting and have good personalities to have value. But if a woman is hot then that's her value and everyone will overlook all sorts of inadequacies with her character. And in this world of instant validation through social media, women are under the impression that they're superstars even if they do nothing with themselves. I know a girl who posts videos of herself lipsynching to songs on Facebook and will get 100 likes on them. They take absolutely no talent to make at all, you just move your mouth to the words and dance a bit. But she's hot, so that trumps all when the fact of the matter is she has no discernible talents.

Bringing this back to BPD, it's been said that this is a condition that's brought on by environmental factors, not chemical. Most BPD girls I know come from privileged backgrounds. These are girls who were spoiled rotten and given everything they wanted. So I guarantee a lot of their bad behaviors weren't properly disciplined because they're princesses in the first place. So this is why a lot of BPD-esque behaviors are seen in even the most normal of women as a cultural thing. Of course BPD is usually closely tied to childhood trauma (Physical/sexual abuse, parent dying, divorced parents, etc.). So spoil a girl enough but remove the trauma and you can get some crazy BPD behaviors as a normal everyday thing in our society.
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#73

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Found this thread on BPD. I'm using it coz it's the one I remember from way back when after reading it and learning something. There are some links on page 1 to other great BPD posts here at RVF if you want to explore the topic further.

So...

After having my mind blown in to smithereens by AnonymousBosch on a couple of his recentish threads (and thanks to Leonard D Neubache and Aurini too who consolidated a lot of stuff), I've been undergoing a bit of a journey with regard to cluster B personality disorders - namely BPD and NPD. Borderline and Narcissistic, respectively.

In fact, one of the most mind-blowing teachers with regard to BPD is a guy called Brother John who thinks the world of Aurini and Roosh. I found Brother John all by myself, so that was a nice bit of synchronicity.

It's too much to go in to here, and I don't want to get too personal, but suffice it to say, I felt as if a whole new world of understanding and growth had opened up to me. Painful, yes. Enlightening, yes. Necessary, even more so. The time had come

So, feeling a little stronger and with a more sure-footed understanding of things, I decided to stick my hand back in to the hornet's nest one more time, as fools are want to do when they are feeling a new found confidence.

I telephoned my ex-girlfriend. The one with BPD.

She is a text-book case. A classic case. A more stereotypical version of BPD you would not be able to find. This shit is uncanny. These fuckers are all the same. The way they are broken. And a good psychologist can read them like an open book in large print. It's like they are all made in the same factory.

Ok, it helped, that my ex let slip that she had been diagnosed with BPD many years ago. A mistake she never made again, always trans-muting it to the more funky, fashionable 'Bi-polar' - but she was Borderline alright. From the very core of her being. Being co-morbid with NPD as well. Like I said, a text-book, classic example.

I called her because I wanted to see if the 'other shoe had dropped'. This was to fill in my understanding of past (and future) events, a bit more. I just couldn't resist. I was on a roll.

I call her land-line (knowing she will still be there because she is a creature of habit - it's her one solid foundation in a world of turmoil). Bring bring... phone dead! Shit. Wtf? Something up here.

I must explain, my ex is Australian, born and bred but with a British passport too and been living here for many many years. She fucking hates Aussie shit-lords with a vengeance and truth be told, I think she's actually a little bit embarrassed about being an Aussie herself. Newcastle, if you're interested. Add in the fact that her mum is half Greek and she has strawberry-blonde (read red) hair, then what more a recipe for human disaster do you want? Oh, and her dad was a chronic alcoholic. Fair dinkum, it's like a bad script, I know.

So, no one home at home. Phone dead. Not a good sign. I call her mobile. It's dead. I start to get worried now. Not coz I care. I don't know why I got worried. Just that 'something really not right here' sense. I leave it thinking 'just stop being a prick and let it go'. She fucked me over good, and some day I may go in to it all, but let's just say I had the kind of insanity that anyone with a true BPD gets. 'Nuff said.

Something still nagging at me though. I give it one more go. Bring bring. It's on now. Bring bring. Just about to hang up, but don't, seeing as the phone is now alive where as before it was dead.

Then she answers: "Hello". (is it me you're looking for?)
I say: "Hi, it's Rigsby - is this a bad time - are you busy?".
"Oh, Hi..."

Turns out she was in Bedlam. Yup, that Bedlam. The famous mental hospital on the outskirts of London. She had tried to kill herself. She told me she had not been sectioned, but this was a triage and assessment ward and many of the patients there had indeed been sectioned. I think she was lying, as all BPD types do, all the time. "I'm not sectioned, but if I go to leave, they will section me". Ok. Gotcha.

She told me she had taken an overdose. 130 paracetamol. That is (at 500mg a pop) 65 grams of paracetamol. I think the LD50 of that drug is something like 25 grams (that is considered a fatal dose), and she had taken three times that amount. Wow. I asked her if she had any complications, i.e. a fucked liver, but no, she was fine, just a coma for a few weeks. Righty-oh. The lies Chico, they always lie...

"What happened to your place? Why are you not living there anymore?"

No straight answer, taking ages to answer while they stall for time to work out more lies and piece it all together. She has lived there 20 years. Something kicked off. I won't ever know what it is. But I know that even though this is all shocking to me, the real truth will be ten times more shocking.

Apparently, her mum came over from Oz and stole 3K off her in GBP. Yup, 3 grand. Her mother. Stole it. From her draw. She actually had 8K in there, but her thieving mother only took 3K of it. Right. I didn't like to ask her why she didn't have it in the bank. She was anal and cheap with money. A real control freak. No way did she have that kind of cash in a draw in her flat for her mum to steal. She also told me she lost 20K after being ripped off by someone in a bad property deal. I probed. I got the usual BPD stalling and all-evasive non-answer.

Quick interjection for a joke: How do you know when a BPD person is lying to you? Their lips move! Ah ah.

She also told me, for some reason, that when she was coming out of her coma or whatever, that she had been talking gibberish, saying that she had told her mother that she had caused trouble in the amateur dramatics group she was in (yes she was a good little actress) by shit stirring and trying to break up the relationships of everyone in the troop. Bizarre. It was almost as if she was trying to construct a narrative for reality. As if she was trying to convince me, and in doing so it would actually fabricate the reality a bit stronger. When all the time it sounded as if it was herself she was trying to convince.

BPD and NPD project all the time, so maybe there was a seed of truth in this. That she did fuck up relationships around her (classc BPD) and she was trying to justify that it didn't happen because she talked about it when she was delirious, therefore it wasn't real. My fucking head was spinning at this point.

I still couldn't hate her though. Even though I have hated her for what she has done and the massive damage she has caused in my life. I would have thought I would be happy. But I just don't have it in me. I'm healthy. I can take no pleasure in misfortune as deep as this. Vindicated? Very much so. But it's a bit late for 'I told you so's' - even though I did tell her how things would end up.

She had it all. A nice stable flat in London. 3 jobs - she was a workaholic as opposed to the usual alcoholic stereotype for BPDs. Money in the bank. Her health. No friends of course. BPDs never have friends. For obvious reasons. They leave a trail of destruction behind them and it's hard to cover your tracks when people are still in your life, so they ghost and 'silent-treatment' people. But then again, most decent people shun them anyway. It's a two-way street going nowhere.

But most of all. She had me. A truly rare catch. One of the good ones. A young god, in fact. But it just wasn't enough. When the chemical romance wore off after a month or two (it didn't take longer than that), she set about doing what all BPDs do: devaluing before distancing. Demonizing in fact as much as devaluing. All part of the process of 'splitting'. The only time a BPD feels remotely human is when that Oxytocin (is it? I forget - the love chemical in our brains) balances out their mal-wiring of neurons. And that is how they can fool you. Sure, they love bomb you. And they are convincing, because they really mean it. They really do love you. It's not an act. Well, it is an act. Very much so. But let's not get too deep here.

It got beyond ugly. The police got involved. She would call them about once or twice a week in the end. And they would come and say, sorry, it's her place, you have to leave. And that was that. They facilitated her in her abuse of me. Nothing I could do. A man who did that to a woman would be up on domestic abuse charges, but you know the game chaps. One law for them and another for us. And that is how I kind of ended up being homeless. My fault really for getting in to that kind of scrape. I take full responsibility. Let's just say I was shown no mercy. It was fucking barbaric.

And fast forward.

She's in the fucking loony bin! Kicked out of her flat, on the street, so to speak, just like she did to me.

She also said to me her landlady (another psycho) had told her that she didn't think she was mad at all and that she just thought she was playing a game and being the 'good little actress' that she always was. This person defrauded the family housing association so much by sub-letting her flat to my ex (illegal in the uk) that she bought a fucking house with the proceeds. But no word on why she turned on her.

One thing I know is I will never know the truth. I'm sorry I called now. Yeah, it was a good exercise in being vindicated - of putting the final pieces of the jigsaw back in place. But it threw up more questions than answers.

I know she always wanted kids, but left it too late being a drug-fuelled slut (before she settled down respectfully with her 3 jobs). She had a miscarriage which fucked her up a bit as well I think. Thank fuck. Not being callous or spiteful here. That kid would have been taken in to care. For the best.

I actually even doubted she was in a mental hospital until she opened the door to some mad banshee bitch screaming and threatening someone. It was scary. I mean, full on. I've been around people that lost that amount of control before and it rarely ends well. It was fucking horrendous. She was in Bedlam alright.

I thought I would have felt some kind of schadenfreude about it all, but no, there was none. I felt a bit of pity, but I wasn't going to get emotionally roped back in to someone else's insanity again, not this cunt. Coz that is what she was, pure and simple. Made me out to to be her abuser. Even got me locked up briefly at one point. Pure fucking evil, whilst still being hollow and not being a human at all.

The vindication was enough. Not anything to be happy about at all. Damage done now anyway. Gloating would be the mark of a lesser man.

BPD types really are fucking dangerous. But they damage themselves quicker and burn out sooner than NPD types, who really can do a number on you.

I could keep on, but that's enough for now.

She told me that she had had enough, and that she really would take her own life when they release her. I didn't believe her about her OD, but in essence I did believe her about the fact that she would do herself in. She has nowhere left to go. She has alienated every single person around her. She has nothing. Nothing, left at all. And one day, earlier, she had it all. Sad.

But BPD types can't exist in a vacuum. They need victims. Literally. And if you have been the prey of a BPD type then you have to take a bit of responsibility yourself for being at least a little co-dependent. I know I was. I was broken from an early age and it's taken me half a lifetime to overcome my programming. I got there in the end. Better late than never.

If you don't break the chain and the cycle of this fault in your personality, then you will find it happening again and again to you. This is the hardest thing to face up to. Not that you asked for it, per se, but that you did contribute somewhat to your own demise.

So I put that out there for others to learn from.

They say you can't teach on old dog new tricks, but I disagree.

It's never too late to learn, to pick up and start again.

This is what this forum is about. Self-improvement. For many of you that means going from strength to strength and doing better, but for others of us, it means rebuilding, re-constructing, no matter how painful that might be.

I owe those I've mentioned in this thread (and Roosh himself) an enormous debt of gratitude.






There will be no healing for that little lady. I wish her well.

But not my problem now.
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#74

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-26-2015 01:53 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

There are already several big threads on this on the forum...

thread-8612.html
thread-33757.html
thread-23672.html

etc.

I've dealt with some people with these type of disorders (cluster B, there's a lot of overlap among them) in the past, both in the context of romantic relationships, friendships, and professionally, and with a little insight they're not too difficult to spot pretty quickly.

You realize that they're all essentially running from the same script, and you see the same patterns of behavior over and over again. Just wind 'em up and watch 'em go like clockwork. The main thing to watch out for with BPD women is the process of the idealization -> devaluation -> discard cycle. Beware any girl who puts _you_ on a pedestal soon after she meets you, because there's one reason she's doing it: she's setting you up for the fall.

The unifying pathology is that all sufferers of cluster B personality disorders lack empathy for one reason or another - people with BPD lack it because they're too wrapped up in their own tormented emotional rollercoaster to really care about the feelings of people other than themselves, and one possible reason narcissists/anti-socials lack empathy is because the last thing they ever want is to feel is like someone has "control" over them, and in a sense experiencing the same emotions of another person is giving them "control" over you, in their perverted mindset.

In the main, many of these disorders arise because the person had a fucked-up childhood with parents who weren't emotionally available, or were absent/abusive or some combination. And then the people with the disorders become fucked-up parents themselves. So you might have generations of borderlines/narcissists propagating down through the ages.

It's also possible that from an evolutionary standpoint, BPD/narcissism is a "stable strategy" in small numbers, i.e. an entire population of narcissists/borderlines will fall apart, but in just the right amount they're successful (for some definitions of success) through manipulating and preying off the non-disordered population. The term "emotional vampires" probably isn't far off the truth.

I think there's one guy who does research on cluster Bs who claims that people with these disorders are essentially "artificial intelligences" in human bodies, as the mentality of the most severe of them is really quite alien to "normal" people. I don't know if I buy that, but it is sort of amazing how the human mind, with all its variations, can often end up broken in exactly the same ways.

Quoted for truth. +1 from me.

I'd give you every rep point I ever earned, in fact, if I could, for this single post alone.

Kudos.

This place is fucking amazing. You won't ever hear a better explanation of BPD boiled down in to essence, than this post. I hadn't digested it before. I feel doubly vindicated now. I'm just a layman with experience in the field. You obviously have a deeper understanding. Posts like this are Gold.

Thanks XPQ22.
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#75

On BPDs (borderline personality disorder)

Quote: (12-26-2015 01:53 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

... it is sort of amazing how the human mind, with all its variations, can often end up broken in exactly the same ways.

Mic drop.
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