[XXL]

Reading responses i feel like this game thing did more harm than good to you guys. Whereas this is only skillset and women are same people with free will just like you so they can do whatever.

I think all those negative mindsets come from the myth that game is this magical thing that nobody knows about and should work on all women and give us some kind of unfair advantage and because it's not true many men got their hopes and dreams shattered.

Get over it. it's just a skillset that can work better or worse and circumstances play huge role in getting women

[XXL]

PS. Even the word "discovering" in the title says a lot. I mean what was discovered actually? I'm sure every guy here tried talking and chasing girls before either at school or in their neighbourhood etc. So the only thing that has changed is level of the game not that whole game appeared out of nowhere one day. Just saying

[worldtraveler3]

Discovery means finding out about the concept of game after Neil Strauss's book which become a hit in mainstream media. Before the book the majority of population really didn't know about the concept of game. Yes everyone knows 'chasing chicks' since hundreds of years ago, but the concept of gaming ( the ideaology, the philosophy, the techniques, the implementation, etc) was foreign to most people.People then realized that there are ways and things that they can do and that are effective to reach their goal.

[Adrenaline]

Missing out is my biggest fear when it comes to game. Deep down, being introverted, I have no motivation or desire to constantly game women but then it feels like I'm wasting the peak of my looks (early-mid 20s). I missed so many opportunities in high school and college that I feel like I need to catch up now, hence the obsession. To bad the obsession is mainly reading about game at this point, rather than putting it into action.

[Designate]

(11-09-2015 03:03 AM)XXL Wrote:  

PS. Even the word "discovering" in the title says a lot. I mean what was discovered actually? I'm sure every guy here tried talking and chasing girls before either at school or in their neighbourhood etc. So the only thing that has changed is level of the game not that whole game appeared out of nowhere one day. Just saying

It describes to me exactly what game was in the beginning.

It's the discovery of what the world looks like with an abundance mindset.

That opportunities for sexual interaction with women exist everywhere and in any situation if you simply choose to act upon them.

That's a massive mindset shift for most BP pre-game aware guys.

Maybe to you that is just another level of game, but to me it's something on a different plane.

And as far as the OP is concerned.. this is just a by-product of an abundance mindset. You see the opportunities everywhere and you act, but there are opportunity costs to action. The real cost being your time, attention and energy.

I don't see how this is a negative point, it's simply an observation of the game.

[Oz.]

(11-08-2015 06:40 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

How about being thankful for the privilege of squaring away some hot pussy?

I am thankful, this slut is as juicy as her shirt implies

[realologist]

I think this is just another phase that players hit. After a certain point the high level of satisfaction and never ending desire to chase start to fade out.

It sounds like you are in phase 5 of the phases of being a player thread.

Time to step away and focus on other things for a while. Get some more pussy when you have that urge and fire again. Until then keep approaches simple in day-to-day life and don't go out of your way for gaming.

[GIMME BACK MY SON]

(11-09-2015 03:03 AM)XXL Wrote:  

PS. Even the word "discovering" in the title says a lot. I mean what was discovered actually? I'm sure every guy here tried talking and chasing girls before either at school or in their neighbourhood etc. So the only thing that has changed is level of the game not that whole game appeared out of nowhere one day. Just saying

But that's kinda the point. Yes all men want to get laid, but most betas just walk through life like in a haze, as if they're sleepwalking. Stuff just happens to them, like they can't control their destiny. It's obvious in terms like "getting lucky" when they go out during the weekends. Game in a broader sense is sort of a mindset that you can MAKE stuff happen, with chicks but also with life goals etc. Of course, if you know that you can MAKE stuff happen you're suddenly constantly searching for and also seeing opportunities, which obviously tires out your mind.

[Dalaran1991]

(11-08-2015 08:48 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  

Are you me?

My biggest problem is that i now see girls as "the others" or "the enemy". I used to have quiet a few female friends but after a nasty breakup that opened my eyes and brought me to these forums, I now view every interaction with a female like a frame war. Or like a never ending Chess game.

Couple weeks ago on the smoking patio of a House party. I was wearing medium pink shirt that was a bit too tight after grueling chest day.Slightly chubby but bangable 6 opens me with " Your shirt looks kind of gay but wow you can rock it".

I gave her a deathstare and say " I was hoping i won't get hit on by pigs like you". I could have easily pulled her that night but sabotaged my own chances by immediately falling into the " she doesn't respect you, break her down" mindset.

No shit bro, like you are talking out of my own mind.

After the redpill sometimes I feel like the fallen protagonist in movies, where he did what needed to be done and can never turn back. Sometimes there's that little voice deep inside crying out to let go, to take things easy.

It speaks for a few seconds after getting slammed shut by the solemn oath at the the beginning of the redpill days, that I would never relent, or know humiliation, from women again.

I have cut ties and forsaken many "good" female friends because of this. Those were girls who would pick me up at airports, bring me gifts and take me out for dinners for my birthday, send me Christmas postcard, etc. They did all that because I was also the guy who would listen to their sob stories, look at them banging other guys, all the other beta shit that any beta would do.

In the end it was fair game, quid pro quo. But I phased them out of my life without any fault on their part, simply because I am no longer the good friend that I was anymore. Sometimes I get nostalgic and I feel bad about it, especially because those were all good moments, but then I quickly squash it away.


Make no mistake, my life is BETTER after redpill, but it is also vastly different. I like to think the distraction is simply because we are still learning to live with our new mindset. After a while it gets better.

I think this is the reason why game is so distracting, and also to answer XXL's comment on what it means to "discover game": after a series of events that caused you to radically change your outlook on life and people, you basically become a different person. It's distracting because it's like you are learning to walk in a different body (no shit, since redpill I pay much more attention to my posture than before) and think with a different brain.

It has never been about getting girls, it's about yourself. Your whole world change with it. Think Roosh going from a nerdy, video-game playing, 5-9 worker drone to the man he is today. And sometimes it sucks you in with it whether you want it or not.

Remember that many of us learn game due to traumatic experience with women. Among the players I know, even those who were born handsome, there's only one natural. All the others had some deep shit blew up their face by some women somewhere, that caused them to change.

At one moment in your life, that distraction and obsession was what you needed to become the man you are today.

[General Stalin]

World traveler basically answer XXL's post pretty accurately, and Dalaran and designate have some extremely relevant points.

Like was said, most of us are here because we have been burned by women/relationships enough times and stumbled upon this community and this philosophy/mindset/lifestyle. We had certain outlooks and expectations of women and life in general that we have decided to change after being convinced that things are indeed different and can be changed.

Now many(most) of us view women completely differently. We see every bangable female as a challenge to ourselves. A potential. An opportunity to either squander or undertake and possibly fail at if we do. We see all facets in life and human interactions in terms of "game" and how to act and look in a way that gets us what we want.

I find that I can't casually interact with most women. I think of them in terms of how can I fuck them. I am not outcome independent. This is what "game" teaches us - it teaches us that we can manipulate and strategize our way into a woman's pants and its not about "luck" or "natural chemistry" that we can just happen upon some pussy once in a while. It is in fact a game that can be played and its often times very difficult NOT to play or at least think about it.

I have plenty of friends that don't have this mindset that I do. Plenty of "beta" friends and I'll tell you they are a lot more carefree and focused in their endeavors than I am. Granted I'm getting laid a helluva lot more than them (once of my good friends is 27 and still a virgin...) but I actually envy the fact they they give little to no fucks about women sometimes. It's a self-imposed anxiety that they don't have to be concerned with, but I make myself concerned with.

[steezyy]

Definitely.

I discovered game around the time I went from ugly to good-looking (no joke). Wreaking a lot of havoc in my social circles and not sure whether to use my powers for good or evil.

[etuvus_spaxus]

No I totally get you. I found RSD Tylers stuff to be incredible, however I also found it to be pulling out of my own game. Tyler basically states that if you're not hitting on women almost 24/7 then you're beta. While I get the "always be the motherfucker on the prowl" game, I do find it distracting when I'm trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Sometimes bro I'm just not into throwing everything I've got into 1 in 99 odds. Sometimes I just want be able to relax and enjoy the abundance and let it come to me. I've practiced and seen the hardcore approach game and I know everything it's worth. And it's fantastic. But that still doesn't mean I'm into it 24/7.

It's all good if your self-esteem is in the ditch. Or conversely if it's in the fucking skies, but you have to learn some balance. Not everybody's built like Tyler's spastic motherfucking ass.
Just chill for a while.

[Noir]

(11-10-2015 07:52 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

World traveler basically answer XXL's post pretty accurately, and Dalaran and designate have some extremely relevant points.

Like was said, most of us are here because we have been burned by women/relationships enough times and stumbled upon this community and this philosophy/mindset/lifestyle. We had certain outlooks and expectations of women and life in general that we have decided to change after being convinced that things are indeed different and can be changed.

Now many(most) of us view women completely differently. We see every bangable female as a challenge to ourselves. A potential. An opportunity to either squander or undertake and possibly fail at if we do. We see all facets in life and human interactions in terms of "game" and how to act and look in a way that gets us what we want.

An experience. A challenge in the past, a potential of the presence and an memory in the future. This is generally how I view women. Once you have the confidence to go and bang women consistently and on your terms, you will sift through the copy paste ones and seek out the new experiences.

Quote:

I find that I can't casually interact with most women. I think of them in terms of how can I fuck them. I am not outcome independent. This is what "game" teaches us - it teaches us that we can manipulate and strategize our way into a woman's pants and its not about "luck" or "natural chemistry" that we can just happen upon some pussy once in a while. It is in fact a game that can be played and its often times very difficult NOT to play or at least think about it.

This partially explains why the red-pill mindset is useful in the whole ‘seeing through the matrix’ analogy. I reckon a distinction between outcome dependent and outcome aware needs to be made, to give context. (I still think you are outcome dependent -> ‘ how can I fuck them’ -> you are planning on fucking them -> outcome acquired, game plan being developed)

Just because I can doesn’t mean I will. I dumb myself down around certain females. I purposely ignore flirtatious behaviour from women (when they are in relationships or if I am in one) simply because I accept that I am in a societal construct and that all of this theory is set in an environment of anarchy. If you are single, just be aware and if you want to fuck, do it. Just accept and go with it. If you are in a relationship, respect the consequence, know what you’re getting yourself into and do it.

The theories we read that are set in pro-anarchical environments could explain why we are ‘fighting’ societal constructs such as SJWs, feminists etc. Society goes against the belief of nature and essentially what we are wired to be attracted to due to the society we live in.

Game teaches you tricks and manipulations, sure but you need to emphasize charm, charisma and improved social skills (at least these 3!). This includes being socially aware. This is part of the game, influencing people who are implicated in the outcomes of the interactions for everyone’s benefit. It just happens that the teachings are focused around sex and this becomes an obsession because of:

a) scarcity mindset- supply and demand, obviously a lot of men are not sexually stimulated or satisfied enough

b) testosterone levels, we are horny and make judgments on suitable partners in our immediate environment

c) ego excitement either to ourselves or others because we aren’t in a mindset of 110% belief we can have it. If I know I can have it, I won’t push myself as much and focus on other things

This is completely normal. I find it within myself all day and all night. Being in a relationship further amplifies these feelings. It’s just wielding the power. Sometimes just recognizing the actual interaction is enough for me. Acknowledge the truth of the teachings and then act or not upon it.

I hate to break it to you but you will never be able to turn this off and it is a good thing. You speak to girls and you are completely aware of the subtext of the interaction. Body language, vocal tonality, pinging, mirroring et al. How to actively, in real time, affect this for them to be more attracted to you. After a while, it becomes second nature, you learn to stop being distracted and just know if it is on or not. Then you make a decision and follow through.

Quote:

I have plenty of friends that don't have this mindset that I do. Plenty of "beta" friends and I'll tell you they are a lot more carefree and focused in their endeavors than I am. Granted I'm getting laid a helluva lot more than them (once of my good friends is 27 and still a virgin...) but I actually envy the fact they they give little to no fucks about women sometimes. It's a self-imposed anxiety that they don't have to be concerned with, but I make myself concerned with.

They don’t assign as much value to getting laid as much as you, me or anyone in this forum do. They have other obsessions and it is linked to their peers’ idea of themselves, their own, their internal value systems and everything. The simple fact that we discuss different, enjoyable and adventurous ways of having sex and generally providing good emotions, shows where our attention (or part of it) lies; in making others feel good, in satisfying our sexual appetites, maintaining a cool social image etc.

Personally, the first few years were just getting people to like me in university. These guys have their own ‘arenas’ where they will be focused.

Your friends are also going through phases of a different nature. One may have started boxing and thinks in interactions if he could ‘take this guy or not’. Another one of your friends could have learned how to cook on a higher level and critiques food etc. Excuse the shitty examples.

Your example is limited to women and how to fuck them.
Therefore, don’t envy anything, it is part of yin and yang. Men and women are co-dependent so just accept it and use game for what it is; a tool at your disposal to make it a pleasurable and easy experience with minimal emotional damage and maximum opportunity to learn about and enjoy women.


Seeing that you can fuck any girl and making plans on how to do it shows that you are passionate for that right now. Further down the line, something else will pop up when you have your game on lockdown. Game will be second nature and you will just be yourself, shaped by this and no longer will you use terms such as manipulative or strategize. It is just real, these are the stimuli women respond to. Your framing of language indicates guilt or shame.


‘Distraction’ comes from your excitement with the newfound power. Especially when your ROI starts to increase and you are incrementally improving your quality and quantity of lays. Ride the wave and develop until you let game run on autopilot. Your attention will shift to other parts of your life and they will be infinitely easier because social interaction is an inalienable factor in any hobby, profession, goal you may set. It will always aid, never complicate.


If you feel manipulative, your congruence is not there, your intentions are probably coming from the wrong place and yes, you are not being honest to either yourself or the girl.


The amount you let it 'distract' you will come down to how much value you place on it affecting your life. Where does your focus lie, your desire within and ideally your vision/path.


Instead of framing it as a distraction, just realize you are constantly 'auditioning' women to see who will make a good partner but this only comes post-bang really.

[XXL]

I notice a misunderstanding

What I meant before was that learning game as we know it has only changed the way I go about it. In fact I'd say that once I learned few things and got experienced the game has been less distracting and time consuming cause I'm now aware of many things I wasn't before. Which means I can sense what to do and what not to do [outer game] and stay cool afterwards [inner game].

However, in my pre-game years I'd try anything to meet a girl. I didn't pay attention to what what I was doing specifically. So not only I was wasting time trying to meet girls but also I didn't know how to do it consistently and couldn't figure out when something clicked. That was distracting and time consuming as fuck.

Now things are much more clear. I can save a lot of time by sensing whether something has potential or not. Women are still there. The same urges are there too. Only better ways to connect the dots.

That's what I meant.

[studmuffin52]

I am in a similar situation. Sometimes work is so busy but I want to work on my game. I reason that improving my career and getting promoted is attractive to girls and is in fact improving my game too. I dont always follow this rationale though.

[WestIndianArchie]

Gorging at the sexual buffet after years of starving is entirely normal. Given a healthy man's natural urges, it might be some time before he can chill.

That's when the balancing act starts. Living it up, versus squirelling stuff away.

Ot does it?

The red pill, at least as i understand it, teaches us that there is a false choice to be made between money and bitches. I think that the real tension is night game/sexual abundance versus being an employee.

That is once you realize that a lot of this pussy has always been out there for the taking, just by putting yourself out there and gaining the skillset and not by being a good little boy...perhaps society was wrong about everything else as well.

WIA

[xmlenigma]

Very interesting thread.. experienced various flavors/ phases of this at different times in life.

[Mess O.]

Comrade Stalin has certainly been tossing about the words of wisdom lately. Here's a thread that just speaks to ya. The day's observations prompted me to delve into the deeper avenues of the "distraction" being discussed here. I was imagining how crafting one's Game has that power to monopolize one's thought process.

[jake1720]

Game has made me pretty jaded to be honest. 7-8 years in.

I mean I will never give it up, but after a while its not the all encompassing thing it used to be in my life.

[VforVlad]

This is me.

I let this one girl go because of it just recently. She was giving me so little in return during our exchanges that I just went silent for a good while. I was secretly hoping new cocks have overtaken her...that by the time I text her again, she won't respond.

[Giovonny]

Distracting?

No.

Game has helped me become more focused. More focused on what I really want out of life, more focused on how I can improve myself in order to get more of what I want, more focused on efficiency, time management, wealth, fashion, psychology, business, etc. Things that will improve my life.

What was distracting was my life before game.

- culture
- television
- internet
- smart phones
- friends/family
- sports
-etc.

Those things do not always have MY best interests in mind. Those things often want to draw me away from my true passions and desires. Those things don't care if I get paid and get laid. Those things often want to separate me from my time and money.

Game brought everything back into focus.

I have one life to live and I better get busy making it the best life that I can!

Game gave me a sense of urgency and a renewed focus!

Game didn't distract me, game showed me what had been distracting me.

[Prof. Ligate]

(11-13-2015 07:25 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I think that the real tension is night game/sexual abundance versus being an employee.

This

So many good replies on this thread but I thought I'd add my 2 cents

Do you save the big $ in your twenties to live comfortably OR go out and spend that cash in hope of that elusive +1?

At the end of a long night, especially spending $50+ on club covers.. drinks.. perhaps even drugs.. you have to justify it with results

For example last night I went out and spent $80 - for a measly 3 numbers from stupid (yet hot) girls that I personally wouldn't date. I've been on a tear lately (+3 in 13 days) and figured I'd continue the run. BUT... I'm also a self-reliant student paying rent and bills on a part-time job

Was it worth it?

I'm sometimes not sure if learning game was the best or worst thing that's happened to me

You see I know there will always be easy pussy on offer in night game. All you have to do is leave the house. That alone makes going out on any given night an easily justified decision

What I don't like is that I spent $X last night that could have been spent on a tinder date/ book/ bills but it's simply not in the budget now

Chances I'll get one of the three girls from last night out on a date? 50%
Chances I'll get laid on my next night out? 25%
Chances I'll be able to afford my FWB the Christmas present she asked for? 0% (I thought we established we weren't in an LTR, Becca?)

Fact is everyone on this forum will be far MORE pessimistic as far as relations with females go than your average male, but at the same time will have far MORE success

The beauty and tragedy of the redpill