[General Stalin]

I've been noticing lately that while I am grateful to have taken the red pill, I find that the thought of gaming women and hooking up has become extremely distracting.

I wrench my neck everywhere I go ogling dames on the street and thinking about sex with them. I'm on my phone far too often texting bitches trying to make plans, spamming OKC to acquire new prospects and work on ones I have, and when I go out I feel that too much of my attention is spent on girls.

I'm almost 30 and I feel like my sex drive and general desire to be with women is too distracting for being the age that I am and living the lifestyle that I live. I wasn't this way before game - in fact in the year or so after my last serious LTR I was pretty absent minded about relationships and actively trying to meet women and I look upon that time as pretty productive and peaceful.

Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Maybe this is some weird stage of game and maturity where I'm having trouble coping with something. Maybe I'm just lonely? I did just move to a new part of the country and I have little social life currently. I don't know - mostly just seems like a self control issue.

Part of it goes back to this thread: thread-50515.html and the fact that gaming broads and spinning plates is not exactly "adding" to my life. Sometimes (most times?) it feels like its taking away.

Anyone else familiar with this?

[flattening of emotions]

100% agree.

After my branch swinging ex, this is alI think about and obsess over.

I'm lonely wherever I roam.

[godzilla]

For me, like today, for example. I had a sucessful weekend in Buenos Aires. My desire to try to bang another girl today is 0. Yet, lizards on tinder keep shooting me messeges. I cant completely ignore them cuz I know ill want some later. But I told myself I need a break. Shut off your phone and go to a bar and just chill and watch Nfl or something. Or hit up one of your friends and just chill. Sometimes doing the same thing over and over again day after day gets tiring as fuck.

[Dalaran1991]

Agreed, to the point it wholly consumed my life. You can't look at anything the same anymore.

To the point that it's impossible for me to look at girls as just humans anymore. I keep thinking of them in game terms and moves. Everything they say go through automatic bullshit filter, even a harmless "it's so cold today". I don't do that with guys, so I shouldn't do this with girls I don't give a damn about. After a while you get used to it though, so sometimes I can't tell if it's good or bad.

It gets worse if you are in any kind of LTR. Being in a LTR already knowing that it won't last, or that it will last as long as your game stays sharp, is not healthy. And whether or not you have a lot of options doesn't change that a lot.

Nobody said the redpill would be easy.

[Bill]

It´s all about balance and moderation. You don´t want to get burned out. The thing is it´s difficult to find out if one is doing the right dosage.

It´s all about simplyfying the routines. For that one has to invest in analyzing the amount of energy you want to invest.

Of course everybody has a different approach. I think one could work with this method: You can make up a number that feels right to you. It´s the energy level you want to invest for chasing girls. You can start with for example 15%. That is the amount of energy you want to invest gaming girls in a year. The monthly and weekly amount can vary.

[LINUX]

It's an addiction, much like alcohol or blow -- searching all day to find our fix.

A lot of guys are like this, they just pretend not be.

But we're all searching for something -- release, happiness, meaning, content. I don't know.

But the sad thing isn't feeling the way you do, or I do, or many others do; the sad thing is spending all day at the sea chasing the fish without really knowing what you're truly chasing. We're all chasing different things. Others want to tell us what we are chasing but they don't truly know us, we are only ones who really know.

[robreke]

Sometimes when I go to the grocery, like at the end of a busy day or when I'm really tired and don't see an attractive girl at the grocery store, I'm inwardly thankful. Because if I do see one, I know I will approach her or feel very compelled to and if I don't, feel that I let myself or the game gods or whatever, down.

So, I usually do approach.

Sometimes, I just want to run in, grab my peanut butter and cereal and get back home or on with my day, but knowledge of game and the presence of good looking female shoppers won't let that happen.

[Walker]

If you have good savings from working in your 20s, having some time to obsess over game in your 30s is a luxury that you've earned, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

[griffinmill]

This has been something I have been wrestling with lately. It's a tremendous distraction, especially all of the texting - not to mention all of the searching for new plates, leads. There just seems to be too much investment now for little reward. To what end? To get a new notch. To scratch an itch that'll only be itchy again tomorrow. It's an extremely unproductive way to spend a life, and is there meaningfully happiness to be found?

[Jungle]

I'm going through a similar thing. I think this problem is exacerbated for fellas who are:
- Super protective of their time
- Focused on growing their business/career
- Really like being alone / enjoy their own company
- More of a laissez faire / buddhist mentality, letting things naturally go their course, as opposed to more assertive/impatient guys.

I get a fair amount of attention from women but there is an inherent cost to spinning plates/prospects, and even the thought of meeting the girls seems like such a burden taking up time. I don't have a natural propensity for messaging and keeping in touch with people... plenty of messages simply aren't high enough of a priority to reply to immediately or at all. If I was to go all-out beast mode in game then I wouldn't get any actual work done. I'm trying to incorporate a bit more 'thirst' into my life, because even if they are of high SMV, I ultimately I might prefer spending the time in other ways. I put so much effort into improving myself that I resort to putting in the minimum amount of effort required to meeting and escalating with prospects... this means it may either never happen at all, or if they happen it may take weeks or months, whereas if I was to really to move fast and desire it, it would take only minutes or days.

I guess the best way to pigeon-hole my situation is - not going as extreme as fully-fledged mgtow, still recognising that one needs at least a few women and relationships in my life to remain sane and healthy. My goal for this month (as per the sprite commercial) is to obey my thirst.

[The Lizard of Oz]

How about being thankful for the privilege of squaring away some hot pussy?

[General Mayhem]

I think the problem is that guys slot game into a role in their life that it was never meant to fill. The real discussion here is how game is suppose to fit into your life as a man.

WIA had a good quote the other day when he said that game is just a skill set.

Game in itself isn't something you devote your life to.

Yet, you get guys around here who pursue game with the same intensity and attention that an athlete approaches a sport. Once you get to the point you are at you have to shift fire and use that energy to hit a different target. There are guys out there who are fulfilled chasing women 24/7. I'm just not one of them.

I see a few guys are talking about searching for meaning and happiness.

I don't really believe in deep searches for meaning. We get a finite amount of time on this earth. Constantly looking for meaning gets old.

Happiness is a little easier to pin down. Happiness in my opinion is really just being satisfied with the way you are spending your time. You are always going to be miserable if you are constantly pissing away your most valuable, most limited resource.

[General Stalin]

Good post General Mayhem.

I think I need to just force myself to chill out on the broads for a while. Just become a bit of a hermit and bury my head in shit that actually matters and fulfills me. Redirect my energy like you said.

I was on this kick where I just wanted to bed chicks with zero intentions other than getting my dick wet, and I've been doing it for a couple years now so I've just naturally fell into this cycle where I keep doing it and it's become a non-casual thing. Like a personal obligation; a habit I need to maintain.

There was a time when it didn't kill me to go a few months without meeting girls and getting laid. I'd like to get myself back to that state of balance.

Lately, the only time the itch actually goes away and I'm totally clear headed is when I crank one out. I immediately don't care about it, I feel elated, and I care about other shit instead.

[Mess O.]

Gen. Stalin's, as well as Robreke's points are absolutely right-on, covering a matter upon which I often reflect as well. It's like there's no going back - it's an ingrained component of our daily business. We strive to practice moderation and prioritization, but the order of affairs gets shifted around.

[YossariansRight]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a step away, work on other things (personal, professional, etc.) and evaluate and recharge.

It's not like sluttery is going away overnight.

Red pill is liberating. Do it.

[DaveR]

I think turning hobbies and crafts into obsessions is a normal thing for men. Women generally don't have that characteristic, hence they're useless at most things that require dedication almost to the point of obsession. There are plenty of examples: chefs, sport, programming, art, etc.

I don't consider being self-motivated and 'driven' in that way a bad thing; it just needs to be directed so that you get the most benefit from your skills. An example would be a guy who has good hand-eye coordination choosing to become a yo-yo champion instead of taking up a more mainstream sport like tennis or hockey.

If game is becoming detrimental to the rest of your life and your overall wellbeing, I guess it's time to set a different goal. You could try to put quality over quantity (both in character as well as looks) and maybe incorporate game into a larger plan (independence, financial goals, travel, etc.).

[Anabasis to Desta]

(11-08-2015 05:38 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

Agreed, to the point it wholly consumed my life. You can't look at anything the same anymore.

To the point that it's impossible for me to look at girls as just humans anymore. I keep thinking of them in game terms and moves. Everything they say go through automatic bullshit filter, even a harmless "it's so cold today". I don't do that with guys, so I shouldn't do this with girls I don't give a damn about. After a while you get used to it though, so sometimes I can't tell if it's good or bad.

It gets worse if you are in any kind of LTR. Being in a LTR already knowing that it won't last, or that it will last as long as your game stays sharp, is not healthy. And whether or not you have a lot of options doesn't change that a lot.

Nobody said the redpill would be easy.

Are you me?

My biggest problem is that i now see girls as "the others" or "the enemy". I used to have quiet a few female friends but after a nasty breakup that opened my eyes and brought me to these forums, I now view every interaction with a female like a frame war. Or like a never ending Chess game.

Couple weeks ago on the smoking patio of a House party. I was wearing medium pink shirt that was a bit too tight after grueling chest day.Slightly chubby but bangable 6 opens me with " Your shirt looks kind of gay but wow you can rock it".

I gave her a deathstare and say " I was hoping i won't get hit on by pigs like you". I could have easily pulled her that night but sabotaged my own chances by immediately falling into the " she doesn't respect you, break her down" mindset.

[Troublesome]

https://youtu.be/UCe0qy646vE- Constant search


One can say game is a distracting at times. The game is a drug . I know, I O'D many times. What you truly fear is missing out. Prioritizing your life, directing your energy towards works and goals only remedy. Women will always be there. Everyday there's hot young lady turning 18. Time is linear you can never get back.

[General Stalin]

(11-08-2015 08:49 PM)Troublesome Wrote:  

What you truly fear is missing out.

That's the golden line right there. Fear of missing out - which is also by an large a millennial phenomenon in and of itself.

[B-Nut]

the problem is game requires one to make it a full time job to get good at it

....it's not something one can do in part of a balanced life. You have to go hard to get good and then perform maintenance

And when your not gaming ,you getting worse.

[Ingocnito]

I sometimes idle it down to only approaching stunners and upper tier women. I've plowed through the #'s and am a bit desensitized to just gaining another notch for the sake of notches.

It also allows me to focus on other aspects of socializing that don't own my full attention. Hyper Awareness in general takes more energy.

I still have days/weeks where I'm too distracted by the flurry of the SMP. Nothing like the first few years where I was relatively obsessed.

[Ingocnito]

(11-08-2015 08:58 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(11-08-2015 08:49 PM)Troublesome Wrote:  

What you truly fear is missing out.

That's the golden line right there. Fear of missing out - which is also by an large a millennial phenomenon in and of itself.

Fear of missing out is instilled in our youth to especially coordinate with the 9-5 workweek of the wage slaves many unfortunately are.

Friday night. Saturday night? Oh me oh my what great party of sexually charged hedonism could I be missing out on that all the "cool people" are privy to that I'm not? That idea is one of abandonment that wanes with maturity. I do occasionally hear of an event I missed that rekindles that "missing out" anxiety. However, I've also convinced myself on many occasions the coolest shit going on in my town was within the company of myself, and whoever else I was around.. if any.

Roosh spoke in Bang, or other articles about certain nights to game. I.e. Friday or Saturday nights being amatur night. Sunday, Tues-Thursday, etc. being when the unseen magic occurs.

Don't buy into the hype-machine when applying game. It's an easy way to off-track your progress. Maintain an air of magic, purpose, and mystique both in what you do alone, and with others, and you'll have missed out on little value in life that didn't cost more than it was worth.

[Rush87]

Maybe years ago when I first started but now…

...If anything it allows me to worry about women far less. You sort of realise that most girls are identical. Respond the same way and are essentially predictable.

In this regard I've probably reverted back to how I used to be as a young teen before girls were a factor. I would choose activities based on what sounded the most fun. If there's a hot girl I'm not scrambling to say hello. In fact I really don't give a shit whether she likes me or not. It's really a huge relief to be honest and more than anything, I think this attitude has helped with women in a really big way.

[worldtraveler3]

Do people who DON'T know anything about game find women distracting? (Think about our friends/ colleagues who never knew about game)
Maybe, maybe not.
Do they also want women? Ya sure. But alot of them I observed seem to not care about improving their skills with women.
Is that a good thing ? The pro is obviously that they worry alot less than `game' people do, but I would be sceptical how much they can improve with women in their lives. Maybe they would just be stuck with a 7 with the rest of their lives or if they are naturally good that might be an 8.

Game is distracting because you have decided that it is a big component/ area in your life, and most likely acknowledged at some point that you are not the master of it, hence your mind is occupied with how to best benefit from the game as we are all competitive at heart. If you have become good at it, it might just become an addiaction that's hard to quit.

[flattening of emotions]

Yes, missing out seems to be my biggest fear.