Is cold approaching white girls a bad idea or a low-success endeavor? I think most or half of the girls I've approached have been white and they usually keep walking or just say no.
Will my looks give me a low ceiling for success?
Quote: (06-09-2015 12:16 PM)depravity Wrote:
Is cold approaching white girls a bad idea or a low-success endeavor? I think most or half of the girls I've approached have been white and they usually keep walking or just say no.
22 y/o AA male here. It...depends where. I haven't day approached yet, but for some reason I feel like it'll be easier approaching that type just in the random.
Don't think you wont have success with them though! More than half my total notch count over my life thus far has been white girls.
Quote: (06-09-2015 12:16 PM)depravity Wrote:
Is cold approaching white girls a bad idea or a low-success endeavor? I think most or half of the girls I've approached have been white and they usually keep walking or just say no.
How about focusing on yourself first and stop worry about what race to pick out.
I approached all kinds of girls, banged all kinds of girls from online as well.
It's pretty obvious what you need to do first - which is what has been suggested.
Start working out, start reading the forum, focus on that and approach women with a different mind
Oh man - I think all of us have asked similar questions when first starting out.
Approximately how many approaches will I need to do to get laid?
How many times will I need to read Bang before I can approach?
How much work will I need to put in to see success?
What is the best way to approach an Asian 3-set in Barnes and Noble at 9am when one chick is fat and I'm getting over a cold?
You will never get too good at game, or make too many approaches, or learn too much, or make too much money, or get too good-looking, so don't worry about that stuff. It's pointless.
Game is real life, and in real life, 5 minutes of action can easily be to superior to 1000 hours of studying, preparing, and theorizing.
You're 20 years old and you sound intelligent, so you are probably still in school. I used to love school and academics because results were guaranteed. If you memorized enough crap, or practiced something enough times, or did enough extra credit, you were all but certain to get a perfect score.
It took me a few years after graduating to realize there is no text book for real life. You just gotta go out and try, fuck up a few times, and figure out what works and what doesn't. And no one can give you a grade on your own life but you.
That being said, take the advice people are giving you. And if you REALLY want to get laid ASAP, turn off your computer right now and start talking to girls about whatever your brave enough to say.
Approximately how many approaches will I need to do to get laid?
How many times will I need to read Bang before I can approach?
How much work will I need to put in to see success?
What is the best way to approach an Asian 3-set in Barnes and Noble at 9am when one chick is fat and I'm getting over a cold?
You will never get too good at game, or make too many approaches, or learn too much, or make too much money, or get too good-looking, so don't worry about that stuff. It's pointless.
Game is real life, and in real life, 5 minutes of action can easily be to superior to 1000 hours of studying, preparing, and theorizing.
You're 20 years old and you sound intelligent, so you are probably still in school. I used to love school and academics because results were guaranteed. If you memorized enough crap, or practiced something enough times, or did enough extra credit, you were all but certain to get a perfect score.
It took me a few years after graduating to realize there is no text book for real life. You just gotta go out and try, fuck up a few times, and figure out what works and what doesn't. And no one can give you a grade on your own life but you.
That being said, take the advice people are giving you. And if you REALLY want to get laid ASAP, turn off your computer right now and start talking to girls about whatever your brave enough to say.
OP like others have said you definitely are not ugly. As you cut some fat like you said you were doing it will only tighten it up and make it less puffy.
You actually have a very high level for success. You only being 20 and finding this site can help you in every aspect of game.
Pay attention to all the sub forums within.
Game: Self explanatory
Travel: Anything travel related to expand your experiences and make you more interesting
Lifestyle: Has good information on careers and style to get your money and looks right
Weightlifting and Fitness: Self explanatory
Deep forum: Improve intelligence and deeper topics
Most people on this forum are willing to help. All you have to do is ask, have a positive attitude and put in an effort to improve.
You actually have a very high level for success. You only being 20 and finding this site can help you in every aspect of game.
Pay attention to all the sub forums within.
Game: Self explanatory
Travel: Anything travel related to expand your experiences and make you more interesting
Lifestyle: Has good information on careers and style to get your money and looks right
Weightlifting and Fitness: Self explanatory
Deep forum: Improve intelligence and deeper topics
Most people on this forum are willing to help. All you have to do is ask, have a positive attitude and put in an effort to improve.
Take the advice of people in this forum and definitely don't worry about your looks. I'm 5'10 and pretty fugly haha. I'd say my face value is around 3-4. My last few girlfriends have been 7+. I've constantly banged chicks that are "way out of my league." I do this not by having money or looks, it's all game. The hot 8 that stayed on my floor below me was married and her husband 6'3. I gamed her accordingly on the slow roast, funny hipster vibe and it paid off.
Don't worry about your looks and definitely don't worry about race being a hinderance. Get in shape, read some of the good gospel on the site and build up some self confidence. I can't tell you how many times I've been in venues with guys who look like Tyson Beckford only for them to go home empty handed because they lacked personality, game and the willingness to approach.
-CD
Don't worry about your looks and definitely don't worry about race being a hinderance. Get in shape, read some of the good gospel on the site and build up some self confidence. I can't tell you how many times I've been in venues with guys who look like Tyson Beckford only for them to go home empty handed because they lacked personality, game and the willingness to approach.
-CD
My biggest problem is that whenever I walk past an attractive girl, it's like I'd rather walk tall and maintain some Stoney facade (assuming she gives a shit) than actually approach her and show that I suck with women. I'd rather save face in the eyes of a stranger than get laid. I know I have to lose all ego to go through with this 100% and I'll probably be all the better for it.
You're a dead ringer for my junior year roommate. I mean almost identical facially. I actually had to rub my eyes. Cape Verdean, maybe an inch or so shorter than you even, and he was loved by girls everywhere. Looks are not your problem sir.
And yes, he had a lot of success with white girls too. He has the exact same olive-ish skin tone which helped, but he was a smooth talker. You should thank your momma and papa.
But it wouldn't hurt to cut down on the body fat in case you're a little chubby. The guy I mentioned regularly hit the gym with me. 3-4 days a week, regardless of exams, papers, etc. So get on that and you should be good to go hog wild, dude.
And make sure you grow back that little line in your right eyebrow.
And yes, he had a lot of success with white girls too. He has the exact same olive-ish skin tone which helped, but he was a smooth talker. You should thank your momma and papa.
But it wouldn't hurt to cut down on the body fat in case you're a little chubby. The guy I mentioned regularly hit the gym with me. 3-4 days a week, regardless of exams, papers, etc. So get on that and you should be good to go hog wild, dude.
And make sure you grow back that little line in your right eyebrow.
I'm new 2 this site, red pill, game, etc. Even though I'm 27 and you are 'just' 20 years young I have to say your post is inspirational for the way you put yourself out there (or should I say here?)! Actually amping me up a bit!
I'm just a newb, but I hope I can contribute some by telling you you should def. start going 2 the gym but go there because you want to. You'll feel fit, strong and propably a lot better. Whicht as far as I can tell by reading the forums is all good for your 'gaming state of mind'. That alone should be a reason to workout! Getting in shape and looking sharp at the beach is, to me, just another benefit of working out.
I'm just a newb, but I hope I can contribute some by telling you you should def. start going 2 the gym but go there because you want to. You'll feel fit, strong and propably a lot better. Whicht as far as I can tell by reading the forums is all good for your 'gaming state of mind'. That alone should be a reason to workout! Getting in shape and looking sharp at the beach is, to me, just another benefit of working out.
I see a girl with a hot body working out in front of me. Things running through my head are:
"She's probably here with her boyfriend"
"I'll creep her out"
"I might not be her type"
"She looks too bitchy/aloof" [im honestly terrified of this one but hooking up with girls like this is probably more rewarding]
Etc.
I don't think I'm fully comfortable with my sexuality either because every stare in a girl's direction feels predatory. Sometimes if I see a girl vaguely tensing up or fidgeting I'll read into it and assume it's because I'm creeping her out.
"She's probably here with her boyfriend"
"I'll creep her out"
"I might not be her type"
"She looks too bitchy/aloof" [im honestly terrified of this one but hooking up with girls like this is probably more rewarding]
Etc.
I don't think I'm fully comfortable with my sexuality either because every stare in a girl's direction feels predatory. Sometimes if I see a girl vaguely tensing up or fidgeting I'll read into it and assume it's because I'm creeping her out.
Quote: (06-09-2015 08:00 PM)depravity Wrote:
My biggest problem is that whenever I walk past an attractive girl, it's like I'd rather walk tall and maintain some Stoney facade (assuming she gives a shit) than actually approach her and show that I suck with women. I'd rather save face in the eyes of a stranger than get laid. I know I have to lose all ego to go through with this 100% and I'll probably be all the better for it.
They're strangers, fuck them, they don't matter. If you suck at talk to to women then stop and improve yourself first. You're being a bit neurotic for that, learn some more cold/warm approach skills also indirect and direct openers.
Quote: (06-10-2015 11:36 AM)depravity Wrote:
I see a girl with a hot body working out in front of me. Things running through my head are:
"She's probably here with her boyfriend"
"I'll creep her out"
"I might not be her type"
"She looks too bitchy/aloof" [im honestly terrified of this one but hooking up with girls like this is probably more rewarding]
Etc.
I don't think I'm fully comfortable with my sexuality either because every stare in a girl's direction feels predatory. Sometimes if I see a girl vaguely tensing up or fidgeting I'll read into it and assume it's because I'm creeping her out.
You don't know a single thing until you observe, smile, and approach a girl.
You're self defeating with those thoughts. It's time to stop doing that.
Quote: (06-10-2015 11:36 AM)depravity Wrote:
I see a girl with a hot body working out in front of me. Things running through my head are:
"She's probably here with her boyfriend"
"I'll creep her out"
"I might not be her type"
"She looks too bitchy/aloof" [im honestly terrified of this one but hooking up with girls like this is probably more rewarding]
Etc.
I don't think I'm fully comfortable with my sexuality either because every stare in a girl's direction feels predatory. Sometimes if I see a girl vaguely tensing up or fidgeting I'll read into it and assume it's because I'm creeping her out.
Inner game.
A lot of guys have offered advice on how to improve inner game. This is where self confidence comes from. You will constantly struggle with self confidence, everyone has moments of weakness even the super alphas. Diet, the gym, and vitamin/minerals play a MASSIVE part in whether or not you're having an on day.
I suggest you read Bang and Daybang. Both are excellent resources.
You're also in your 20s and one of the most effective ebooks I read pre RvF days was an ebook called "Conquer your Campus". I gleaned a lot of good social circle game advice from it. Use Google to find it.
Stop looking in the mirror and nit picking body flaws. That's what women do. Start working on yourself and you'll begin to reap the rewards.
You're 20. I didn't start improving myself until 22. Some guys here didn't really start until their 40s or 50s. You have oodles of time to become the baller you know you are.
Appreciate the advice.
My current opener for day game is 'you're pretty cute, whats your name'. Most girls I approach just say no, not interested or they keep walking. Should I use a different opener or go indirect instead?
My current opener for day game is 'you're pretty cute, whats your name'. Most girls I approach just say no, not interested or they keep walking. Should I use a different opener or go indirect instead?
You're a good looking guy with a major confidence problem.
Honestly, you should focus on approaching and getting more social confidence. Obviously keep doing workouts(hitting the gym is a must), and work on dressing better, but man you should be doing a lot of approaches. Get some good wings. Get this idea out of year head that your looks are holding you back. Girls love your look, but your eyes show your current lack of confidence.
Also, do night game. Night game sharpens you like no tomorrow. When you're competing with the music, her friends, and the general chaos, you basically gain a lot of social confidence and savvy. Its the fastest way to get good. Doing a few day approaches here and there in the daytime is nothing like the trial through fire of night game.
Ignore any of the numerous posts and threads talking about how women want taller, better looking men, etc. None of that will help you. Tune that out and focus on yourself.
If its any condolence I have a friend who looks like shit and doesn't take care of his looks and still gets laid with alright looking slim girls(like hipster 6s and 6.5s, and maybe the occasional 7). He's damn lazy about his appearance and no matter what I tell him he never makes an improvement. If he can get laid despite being like facially 4 points below you, then that should tell you that your looks aren't your main issue, but its rather that just need to put yourself through the grinder of cold approach to develop social confidence and game.
Honestly, you should focus on approaching and getting more social confidence. Obviously keep doing workouts(hitting the gym is a must), and work on dressing better, but man you should be doing a lot of approaches. Get some good wings. Get this idea out of year head that your looks are holding you back. Girls love your look, but your eyes show your current lack of confidence.
Also, do night game. Night game sharpens you like no tomorrow. When you're competing with the music, her friends, and the general chaos, you basically gain a lot of social confidence and savvy. Its the fastest way to get good. Doing a few day approaches here and there in the daytime is nothing like the trial through fire of night game.
Ignore any of the numerous posts and threads talking about how women want taller, better looking men, etc. None of that will help you. Tune that out and focus on yourself.
If its any condolence I have a friend who looks like shit and doesn't take care of his looks and still gets laid with alright looking slim girls(like hipster 6s and 6.5s, and maybe the occasional 7). He's damn lazy about his appearance and no matter what I tell him he never makes an improvement. If he can get laid despite being like facially 4 points below you, then that should tell you that your looks aren't your main issue, but its rather that just need to put yourself through the grinder of cold approach to develop social confidence and game.
Quote: (06-10-2015 11:31 PM)depravity Wrote:
Appreciate the advice.
My current opener for day game is 'you're pretty cute, whats your name'. Most girls I approach just say no, not interested or they keep walking. Should I use a different opener or go indirect instead?
Also, while going direct feels kind of okay and congruent with cute/average girls (6-8s), giving compliments to certain hotter girls feels really dumb/juvenile and I have no idea what to say to them.
I have this one insecurity that seems legit - when I approach a girl, my voice comes out high and nice guy-ish (I sound like a teenager or some sweet guy, it's not masculine or attractive at all) which I know would just immediately turn off some of the bitchier/high-maintenance NYC girls who are probably in like their mid 20s. I know my voice is super deep immediately after a meditation, when I'm alone, but it doesn't come out that way when I'm talking to people. Are there any things I can do to change it permanently or is it really not a big deal. I think a couple girls literally chuckled and rejected my approach because of my voice and I have this whole nice guy closed-mouth smile while doing it too. It sucks. I think I'm coming off like that subset of guys that the archetypal modern girl immediately disdains/gets repulsed by. It's kind of a ruthless place to start off at.
I found this end of the internet when I was 19. A skinny-fat hipster, with a scraggly beard, cystic acne and fucked up teeth.
Work hard on yourself, while still approaching girls, and you'll do fine man. You're a good-looking dude and only 20 years old.
Work hard on yourself, while still approaching girls, and you'll do fine man. You're a good-looking dude and only 20 years old.
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Depravity
Please stop and reread everything we're saying.
Focus on YOURSELF first, start lifting, eating right, reading.
With your voice, there are plenty of ways to get it warmed up before talking (think singers warming up).
Analyze your approaches, read the approach threads on here, read Roosh's books, there are plenty of other links on here to provide you knowledge on approaching.
But I'd suggest you work on yourself first before this.
Please stop and reread everything we're saying.
Focus on YOURSELF first, start lifting, eating right, reading.
With your voice, there are plenty of ways to get it warmed up before talking (think singers warming up).
Analyze your approaches, read the approach threads on here, read Roosh's books, there are plenty of other links on here to provide you knowledge on approaching.
But I'd suggest you work on yourself first before this.
Depravity, here's a tip that's controversial but what the hell try it. I'm assuming you jerk off right? If you do immediately stop and don't watch any porn either. Quit both cold turkey. Many guys say their confidence and anxiety dramatically gets better AND if you believe some of the no fap message boards many guys report that their voices get noticeably more manly and deeper. It may be total crap but it doesn't cost you a dime and you can start right now.
Most of the time when I do my opener the girl will smirk and keep walking, or make some excuse like she has a boyfriend and I just concede and walk away. In the moment, just doing the approach feels like a victory, but I'm not really learning game. I've literally only had 2 conversations off cold approach - one I might have only gotten because the girl felt pressured into it since she was sitting next to me on the train. Am I giving up too easily? Should I insist that they stop ("wait, it'll only be a few seconds", etc.)? The ones who say 'no' or 'not interested' right away I should probably leave alone.
Quote: (06-08-2015 01:06 PM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:
Just thank god you are not short. I was in the Chik-Fil-A line today and noticed I was taller than every guy and girl there. Made me a little proud. You look like a rapper.
This weird thing happened last night. Usually during the day I can tell that I'm an average or slightly above-average height (5'10 - 5'11), but I decided to hang out in the city for an hour after work since there was a lot of action around the bars/cubs and I swear most of the dudes that I saw getting play with the hottest girls dwarfed me and looked 6'2 and up. A lot of the White/European girls are my height or taller too while wearing flat-soled shoes. I look into a crowded bar and it's just this sea of guys with decent height. I'm definitely on the shorter end in that environment.
Quote: (06-12-2015 07:17 AM)depravity Wrote:
Quote: (06-08-2015 01:06 PM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:
Just thank god you are not short. I was in the Chik-Fil-A line today and noticed I was taller than every guy and girl there. Made me a little proud. You look like a rapper.
This weird thing happened last night. Usually during the day I can tell that I'm an average or slightly above-average height (5'10 - 5'11), but I decided to hang out in the city for an hour after work since there was a lot of action around the bars/cubs and I swear most of the dudes that I saw getting play with the hottest girls dwarfed me and looked 6'2 and up. A lot of the White/European girls are my height or taller too while wearing flat-soled shoes. I look into a crowded bar and it's just this sea of guys with decent height. I'm definitely on the shorter end in that environment.
Now my patience is starting to wear thin.
Quit crying about it man. The problem isn't your five eleven height it's your pussy attitude.
You're not even short. Everybody wishes they were a little taller.
Get in the gym and get yourself a powerful physique. That's a great height for building muscle and getting a thick, strong and imposing kind of look.
Don't keep fishing to be coddled with all these sky is falling statements. People are going to get real tired of it and you'll discourage people from helping you.
Get on the road to self improvement now and never look back.
OP, I strongly recommend you take to heart the advice I'm about to give you.
I'll be frank and concise--I've been in the exact same situation as you not too long ago.
This is what you need to do: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-30431.html
You DO get 'IOIs' often. You're just not noticing them.
I'll be frank and concise--I've been in the exact same situation as you not too long ago.
This is what you need to do: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-30431.html
You DO get 'IOIs' often. You're just not noticing them.
Also, for the record, physique wise there is one thing that is more important than height...
Waist to shoulder ratio.
I can expand on it if you'd like. Though know that a 5'8 guy with a large shoulder span and thin waist will do better than a lanky or unfit 6'2 guy, 95% of the time.
Waist to shoulder ratio.
I can expand on it if you'd like. Though know that a 5'8 guy with a large shoulder span and thin waist will do better than a lanky or unfit 6'2 guy, 95% of the time.
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