[H1N1]

All of what follows is hypothetical.

You've been a bitch and you've been treated like one, can't be that much of a surprise. You're now in the dangerous situation of having psyched yourself out about how much more of a badass than you this guy is, so he has the psychological as well as physical advantage. This battle is probably lost for you, and as the loser, it's you who has to make way. You let a guy steal your shit, intimidate you and belittle you publicly, without doing anything to stand up for your pride or honour.

There's a lot of posts about 'be smart, don't poke the bear', but we're talking about a muscle head in the gym, not the jefe of the Sinaloa Cartel. Read up on the law regarding assault, and the defenses to it, particularly self-defense. People tend to take an unnecessarily black and white view on the law, which rarely applies in person.

Say, in a hypothetical world, you put a beating on this guy, and you are careful to do it where there are no witnesses or cameras at the point the confrontation starts. The police turn up and this guy has some superficial but humbling injuries - a cracked rib or two and a busted nose or jaw (both?), and it's your word against his. Your story is you went to him, and asked, 'please good sir, I would be tremendously grateful if you would kindly return my property, which you stole from me', at which point he turned around and swung at you. In the moment, given his enormous size, you felt genuinely afraid for your life, given the unprovoked and wild response to your reasonable request, so you swung back at him the exact number of times you felt were necessary to remove the danger to your life, which you in no way anticipated or caused. At that point, you went for help, told everyone who would listen that this guy attacked you and is now hurt and needs medical help, and possibly a priest.

You think that ^ makes it to court, with the history of him being abusive to other gym members? You think the police have the time or desire to go through all the paper work and bullshit? You think the DPP (or whatever your equivalent is thinks it is in the public interest? You think if it does a jury of your peers isn't going to look at some roided up neanderthal (not all people on roids are neanderthals), and side with you when you present yourself as well spoken and in a decent suit? The only evidence is your word against his, and the impression of the two of you from the other gym goers.

If you've been clever, it doesn't matter if you went in there to fuck the guy up, and sucker punched him in the back of the head and then put a beating on him, if your story is straight and you avoid witnesses, there are ways of equalising physical disparities, and avoiding legal consequences (as long as you don't do disproportionate damage).

***Disclaimer*** all of the above was intended to be hypothetical. I do not condone violence by anyone, least of all strangers on the internet. Violence is a bad thing and we should all be more like girls because they are nice and don't do mean or aggressive things.

[KeepMovingForward]

Is that all this guy does is lift weights? If he has no MMA/grappling experience, he's open to being absolutely humiliated by someone with any amount of technical skill.

If you don't have this skillset, pick an MMA discipline, preferably Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, practice, and suddenly find yourself capable of handling 95% of the world's men in a physical confrontation.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(02-05-2015 09:12 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Or someone read the book of five rings, the art of war, 48 laws of power.

Going toe to toe with a bigger and more belligerent enemy is for fools.

Why try to beat him up, expose yourself to physical harm, legal trouble, when you can out think him?

Where I'm from, cats beef all the time. They start with words, move to fists, and finally to guns. Type of bullshit destroys neighborhoods,communities. If any of these dudes were sharp, they'd use others to do the dirty work and eliminate issues.

Instead they gotta prove their manhood.

WIA

That makes sense - also you guys have been missing something. OP was no pussy who let himself be bullied. He called the guy out, they have exchanged "words", they had to be separated by people from the gym.

Since the guy cannot outright attack OP without getting banned by the gym I guess he resorts to slander, because OP has accused him of theft.

Two of the toughest guys I know were both in prison, because they did not take any shit. Yeah - they did "stayed real" and both of them are one bar-fight away from the slammer, since they are both on probation.

Of course there are other solutions which are more drastic, but the guy was basically an asshole and nixed a few things - he did not kill anyone you know or raped your sister. A wise man knows when to fight and when to learn detachment and move on.

[Dr. Howard]

(02-05-2015 07:29 AM)RioNomad Wrote:  

(02-05-2015 06:43 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

My advice is to be a bitch. We live in a world where there are so many more acceptable and effective tools than punching someone in the face. I don't care if someone says something is 'manly' or not, what matters to me is if a technique is effective and low risk for me...as such.

1. Next time dude gets in your face, calmly tell him that he is threatening you and you'd would like it to stop
2. Inform, in writing, the gym management that this guy is threatening you and you've asked him to stop (they may kick him out/ban him)
3. If it happens again, take steps to get a restraining order, documenting the threats and that you've notified the gym about it.
4. After order, guess what, dude can't be at the gym when you are anymore. You now hold further legal action over his head.

These are the logical steps to take, while keeping in mind at any step he may try to beat the piss out of you, at which point you should defend yourself or at least try not to endure severe injury.

This is why the US is filled to the brim with cowards now.

Pussified "men" who can not take care of themselves without the state to intervene. I can't even imagine what my dad would say if I went to him with this plan about some guy at the gym stealing my iPod.

If he stole from you then you need to take it back, and possibly take an ass whooping in the process. That's life. The only solution is to keep hitting the weights, and hit the boxing gym.

This guy might be big, but he isn't Chuck Liddell. It's obvious you're not confident in defending yourself, and that's the root of this entire problem. You won't defend yourself, and he knows it, and sees you as an easy mark. And the truth is, you are.

The good news is if you work hard, in 6-12 months from now you won't be.

I agree. Its a different world than the one I grew up in as a kid, where you could resolve things with fists.

Violence works in the moment, or against an opponent that has nothing to lose. This is why fighting is the prime option as a teenager...you have no assets, dependent family, serious girlfriend, job or reputation to be concerned about.

As an adult, which I'm assuming this other dude at the gym is, he has much more to lose and thats what you should attack if you are physically weaker than he is and especially because the law is against you for fighting with someone.

In the new world we live in unless it is happening 'right now'...like someone in your face on the street, or caught in hand with your property defeating your enemy is more chess, than a boxing match.

Mike Tyson is a prime example, he could have murdered anyone with his fists yet got defeated time and time again by his enemies. The only thing they had to do was not get in the ring with him.

[Sombro]

Do you have the guy's name? Google that shit.
Hang out nonchalantly in the parking lot. ID his car and tag.

I usually take the covert ops route.

Once you have his name, address and car made, the possibilities are pretty endless.

[Sherman]

You need to inform the gym management verbally and in writing that you are being harassed. They have a positive duty to protect their clients and have legal liability. You are paying good money to work out in a safe place. Let them do the work.

[WestIndianArchie]

If you have this guys phone number, you could always post his profile on Grindr.

WIA

[samsamsam]

(02-05-2015 11:15 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

If you have this guys phone number, you could always post his profile on Grindr.

WIA

Lol classic.

[txbeachbum]

Hypothetically speaking you have two options:

1. Charge it to the game, take the loss and admit you got handled like a bitch change gyms and move on with your life.

or

2. Handle it! By any means necessary. I agree it's not worth killing anyone over that. But a serious demonstration is in order. Don't worry about all that lifting more weights coming back in 6-12 months stronger or learning that MMA, BJJ bullshit.

If you can't beat him straight up, grab a brick and KO his ass out or bat if you think you will really get your ass kicked. Worst case it's a assault and battery charge which is nothing more than class c misdemeanor. If he is that much bigger than you call it self defense.

P.S. If you choose option 1 you can no longer call yourself "monster"

[Lemmo]

Bizarre that people are seriously suggesting that you initiate some sort of showdown with a random roided out retard - much less that you devote months of your life to preparing for a fight, use weapons, etc. Unless you are a teenager, trapped in a slum or otherwise unable to control your environment, jungle rules shouldn't come into play. You can always find maladjusted people who want to fight, especially lower IQ young guys, but it is a homoerotic fool's errand - a waste of time like debating with feminists or trying to shame fat girls into becoming bangable. If you're an adult, you don't have any excuse for wasting your time with this nonsense. It is difficult when you are a young guy with more testosterone than common sense, but you need to get to a point where you view people like this as shit on your shoes, not equals who need to be taught a lesson in order for you to feel good about yourself.

The main issue is to determine whether you exercised bad judgment in your choice of gym. If you are living in the US, segregating yourself from the dregs of society is a necessity. Did you choose a gym with a lot of lower class juiceheads and management that tolerates people who steal and threaten? If so, correct the problem and switch gyms. If it is a normal gym with members of an acceptable socio-economic background, report the theft and the threats. You pay to workout, not police the gym. That's their job.

There seem to be a lot of missing details - like how you know about all this gossip, why you've had all these interactions with this guy, how he knows anything about your family. I just work out and leave.

[Kieran]

Difficult situation.

In the OP's case I recommend just taking the loss because he's obviously not going to be able to handle the situation when it escalates with retaliation which will most likely happen. I don't like the idea of involving the police as for me informing would feel even worse than having to swallow your pride. Move on, live well, and realise that your life is most likely a lot better than his.

[Kieran]

Good post Lemmo.

[el mechanico]

(02-05-2015 11:51 AM)Lemmo Wrote:  

Bizarre that people are seriously suggesting that you initiate some sort of showdown with a random roided out retard - much less that you devote months of your life to preparing for a fight, use weapons, etc. Unless you are a teenager, trapped in a slum or otherwise unable to control your environment, jungle rules shouldn't come into play. You can always find maladjusted people who want to fight, especially lower IQ young guys, but it is a homoerotic fool's errand - a waste of time like debating with feminists or trying to shame fat girls into becoming bangable. If you're an adult, you don't have any excuse for wasting your time with this nonsense. It is difficult when you are a young guy with more testosterone than common sense, but you need to get to a point where you view people like this as shit on your shoes, not equals who need to be taught a lesson in order for you to feel good about yourself.

The main issue is to determine whether you exercised bad judgment in your choice of gym. If you are living in the US, segregating yourself from the dregs of society is a necessity. Did you choose a gym with a lot of lower class juiceheads and management that tolerates people who steal and threaten? If so, correct the problem and switch gyms. If it is a normal gym with members of an acceptable socio-economic background, report the theft and the threats. You pay to workout, not police the gym. That's their job.

There seem to be a lot of missing details - like how you know about all this gossip, why you've had all these interactions with this guy, how he knows anything about your family. I just work out and leave.

What? You think the issue is that he chose the wrong gym?

No. The issue is someone stole his shit and was like fuck you no matter which gym it was.

I would like to hear details of what got stolen, how he knows it was him etc before I make my decision on what type of punishment should be handed out.

[Quintus Curtius]

(02-05-2015 11:15 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

If you have this guys phone number, you could always post his profile on Grindr.

WIA

[Lemmo]

(02-05-2015 12:21 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(02-05-2015 11:51 AM)Lemmo Wrote:  

Bizarre that people are seriously suggesting that you initiate some sort of showdown with a random roided out retard - much less that you devote months of your life to preparing for a fight, use weapons, etc. Unless you are a teenager, trapped in a slum or otherwise unable to control your environment, jungle rules shouldn't come into play. You can always find maladjusted people who want to fight, especially lower IQ young guys, but it is a homoerotic fool's errand - a waste of time like debating with feminists or trying to shame fat girls into becoming bangable. If you're an adult, you don't have any excuse for wasting your time with this nonsense. It is difficult when you are a young guy with more testosterone than common sense, but you need to get to a point where you view people like this as shit on your shoes, not equals who need to be taught a lesson in order for you to feel good about yourself.

The main issue is to determine whether you exercised bad judgment in your choice of gym. If you are living in the US, segregating yourself from the dregs of society is a necessity. Did you choose a gym with a lot of lower class juiceheads and management that tolerates people who steal and threaten? If so, correct the problem and switch gyms. If it is a normal gym with members of an acceptable socio-economic background, report the theft and the threats. You pay to workout, not police the gym. That's their job.

There seem to be a lot of missing details - like how you know about all this gossip, why you've had all these interactions with this guy, how he knows anything about your family. I just work out and leave.

What? You think the issue is that he chose the wrong gym?

No. The issue is someone stole his shit and was like fuck you no matter which gym it was.

I would like to hear details of what got stolen, how he knows it was him etc before I make my decision on what type of punishment should be handed out.

Yeah, according to the OP, his locker was robbed and then he was loudly threatened and attacked a "few" times by the thief and the owner saw and had to intervene. I've never had anything stolen at the gym and at any gym I've been to screaming threats and attacking someone once would be enough to get your membership revoked. It sounds like the gym is full of lowlifes and management is useless.

[el mechanico]

Quote:

his locker was robbed

Where did you read that?

[monster]

I had one of those really nice Polar heart rate monitors that I let him borrow and he refused to return and then he said it was his and was always his.

[Old Fritz]

Perhaps he would kick your ass in a boxing match. Who says you can't fight "dirty"? I can think of about a dozen spots that could incapacitate a man quickly if you are precise and quick enough.

[lemko]

(02-05-2015 07:29 AM)RioNomad Wrote:  

(02-05-2015 06:43 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

My advice is to be a bitch. We live in a world where there are so many more acceptable and effective tools than punching someone in the face. I don't care if someone says something is 'manly' or not, what matters to me is if a technique is effective and low risk for me...as such.

1. Next time dude gets in your face, calmly tell him that he is threatening you and you'd would like it to stop
2. Inform, in writing, the gym management that this guy is threatening you and you've asked him to stop (they may kick him out/ban him)
3. If it happens again, take steps to get a restraining order, documenting the threats and that you've notified the gym about it.
4. After order, guess what, dude can't be at the gym when you are anymore. You now hold further legal action over his head.

These are the logical steps to take, while keeping in mind at any step he may try to beat the piss out of you, at which point you should defend yourself or at least try not to endure severe injury.

This is why the US is filled to the brim with cowards now.

Pussified "men" who can not take care of themselves without the state to intervene. I can't even imagine what my dad would say if I went to him with this plan about some guy at the gym stealing my iPod.

If he stole from you then you need to take it back, and possibly take an ass whooping in the process. That's life. The only solution is to keep hitting the weights, and hit the boxing gym.

This guy might be big, but he isn't Chuck Liddell. It's obvious you're not confident in defending yourself, and that's the root of this entire problem. You won't defend yourself, and he knows it, and sees you as an easy mark. And the truth is, you are.

The good news is if you work hard, in 6-12 months from now you won't be.

You could be like the scrawny dude in the old Charles Atlas ads. Come back all bulked up and kick his ass. His height advantage doesn't mean anything if you're built as solid as a fire plug.

[TheWastelander]

What kind of gym do you go to where the owners support this kind of shit? Do you pay to train there?

If they know about him and they're not doing anything about it, something's wrong.

Your best option is probably just to find another gym. Fighting this guy might make you feel better if you kick his ass but, at least to me, it seems like it might be a complete waste of time that gets you in more trouble than it's worth now. The optimal time to give him a beating/fight him was when he wouldn't return your heart rate monitor.

[Ronald Reagan]

Sambro has my vote. All it takes is planning and you can get away with almost anything.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(02-05-2015 02:27 PM)Ronald Reagan Wrote:  

Sambro has my vote. All it takes is planning and you can get away with almost anything.

I doubt that. If there is a reason for life, then there is an eternal feedback-system and divine retribution will come your way some day. Theoretically you can inflict the same pain to him and steal some of his stuff and be an all-around asshole for everyone, but what would be the reason for that?

[samsamsam]

Now that I am in a saner mood.

Sometimes, you cut your losses. You learn your lessons. I am not sure what was taken. But I don't bring anything valuable to the gym.

I believe in karma. Just sometimes, I wish I was the karma inflicting the justice. But you need to trust he won't get away with it necessarily, plenty of bad things happen to a guy like that. No reason to spend time in jail or getting hurt over it. Our egos just want to see it for our own eyes. Our egos do a lot to fuck with our happiness.

Can you switch gyms? Sometimes, I get it you don't want to feel like you gave in, like you yielded and he won. But that ties up a lot of energy that could be used for more productive stuff.

Good luck in your decision, I hope whatever you choose brings some closure and peace.

[heavy]

Seriously though, not to sound cliche, and not knowing the value of what he stole...getting your item back, getting back at him, beating him up, whatever...won't really solve your problem of dwelling on this.

Go take your anger out on the weights...hell take a baseball bat to an old copy machine for an hour. Whatever, just take your anger (justified) on something or somewhere and get over it.

And yes, this is from experience. Just don't punch a plaster wall on the stud. I did this and broke my hand.

[RIslander]

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