[Sonoma]

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

[Catch 22]

I'd say soften the stereotypes a little and see how it really plays out. I've got a 24 year old who's much more mature and enjoyable company than my last 35 year old.

Look for the right personality types and you'll be good.

At young ages, I think a 9 is more likely to be only slightly bitchier than a 6-7. The gap widens with age and the 9's become much bitchier than their 6-7 counterparts.

[iknowexactly]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you?

This is a good question, and the emphasis on gross physical attraction here tends to distract from important other factors:

1) Intelligence and educational background
2) Language commonality.

If we're talking about overseas, there's pretty much no place where #2 is better than the Philippines. It's still a poor country so your economic value is high, and they are used to dealing with English speakers.

In fact the language of education is English, so anyone who is/was a decent student should be able to converse pretty well and even grasp when you're joking in English.


This brings us to #1-- In my experience ( I have a doctorate and about two bachelor's worth of undergrad education due to changing majors) the gap between the educated and uneducated can be more important that the gap between countries.

I would have more in common with many academics from, say, the Ukraine than I would with a truck driver who'd done nothing else from the USA.

In addition, the more highly educated a foreigner is, the more likely they are to have enough English to "bootstrap" their language ability up if they are in a relationship with you.

When you're in a 3rd world country like Philippines, as I think Vacancier has alluded to, screening for a college degree can help avoid some extremely desperate girls who also have a poor self image due to lack of education. It's a LOT harder in a country with no student loans to get a college degree-- someone has to hook you up with tuition or you have to get a scholarship. It is actually sort of an economic screen here.

I met one girl who actually had excellent native intelligence, she could kill me at Candy Crush, but she was convinced no one would want her because she was uneducated. You can't even try to get a job here in 7-11 unless you have a high school degree.

[speakeasy]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

If by average looking guy you mean you are a 5, I'd say you're doing pretty good if you're getting 6s and 7s and maybe an occasional 8. You are actually dating up. If that's the case you're ahead of most men in the West as I see many average guys dating down.

Quote:

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

I know much is made of banging young chics, but the dirty little secret is that sex with older women is actually better. By "older" I'm not talking cougars, I mean late 20s. 18 year old girls unless they've been hoing it up since their tweens or watched a lot of porn are inexperienced. The worse sex I've ever had happens to be the one that had the largest age gap. I think for many of us older guys, sex with a younger woman is more about the psychological joy of sex with a low-mileage young body. The actual act of sex with a woman who knows what she's doing in bed is better enjoyed with a somewhat older woman. That's just my opinion. And plus the maturity factor. At my age, I don't have much to talk about with an 18 year old to even build up any chemistry that would lead to sex. Although seeing them in bikinis is about the most beautiful sight my eyes can behold. Getting such girls regularly would mean having to lie about my age and background and dumb myself down substantially to match their state. Every now and then you might come across one that's into older guys and is exceptionally mature, but that's quite a rarity in America.

Quote:

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

Not sure what this has to do with women overseas. The personality clashes you're talking about can be found just as much with women from your own country. My most pleasant experiences with women have come from those from other countries and I find I can often connect with them quicker than I can with a woman right down the street from me. I don't know why this is, but that's just how it is for me.

[iknowexactly]

(12-18-2014 02:42 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

Although seeing them in bikinis is about the most beautiful sight my eyes can behold. Getting such girls regularly would mean having to lie about my age and background and dumb myself down substantially to match their state.

.... I understand your situation... about having to dumb yourself down in the Philippines... uhhhhhhh.. I think it's kind of a universal requirement no matter what the age... lolzlzlzlz.. but they're so humble and funny and sympathetic it MORE than compensates..

I've had girls I've coldly ditched THANK ME for my time and wish me well... truly shaming me.... I'm learning...

(12-18-2014 02:42 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

The personality clashes you're talking about can be found just as much with women from your own country. My most pleasant experiences with women have come from those from other countries and I find I can often connect with them quicker than I can with a woman right down the street from me. I don't know why this is, but that's just how it is for me.

I've noticed the same thing... I can talk more easily with women from more mature cultures that accept that men are men and women are women.. they don't have a chip on their shoulder about the realities of life

.

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

This is exactly what game is for.

The TL;DR version is that you do not SETTLE for a girl that's merely hot. She has to have good behavior as well as the two of you have to work well together.

But clear up some misconceptions first

- how attractive a girl is has nothing to do with how nice she is. A cute girl can be a bitch, and a stunner can be sweet as pie.

- how nice she is has nothing to do with whether the two of you make a good couple. A chick that is sweet as pie, might not actually be good for you. A chick that's always pleasing you might not have much of a personality, and you will grow to resent her kindness. You may see her kindness as weakness and take advantage of her. Sure you say you won't, but you will. Power corrupts. It's why chicks are often so rotten to their orbiters.

IKE says this beautifully above, but men overvalue attractiveness.

They want a pretty chick so bad that they're willing to put up with
1) her poor behavior as well as
2) personality mismatches.

A guy that is just getting good with game can land these beautiful women, but he doesn't yet have the backbone to cut a hot chick loose.

"She'll change"
"She'll calm down"
"I'll lead by example and she'll mirror me"

Which then becomes

"It's just the one thing"
"I'll compromise, nobody's perfect"

To finally

"I hope that bitch ain't there when I get home"

{Almost paradoxically, you're ability to jettison pretty trash makes you even more attractive. If people know this externally, that pushes you up the scale. More importantly is the internal change. A fine chick can start acting up at the ice cream parlor, and that voice in your head reminds you that you've had better - and you start putting a chick in her place}

Part of the reason is that even though you pulled this chick, you think game is a bunch of tricks, and you really got lucky - so you hold on tight. Most guys, even when game works for them, still have a bit of game denialism left in em.

But if this is where you are, you can have that relationship with a hot chick that you've always wanted, but the clock is ticking. At first you were shutting down her tests, but now that you're an item, you are not doing it as much. As we say in the trade, "slacking on your pimping". Once she starts to win more tests, the seed has been planted. Maybe not now, probably later - you're losing that thing that made you so attractive in the 1st place.

So the solution to the cute girl vs the hot girl is that

- date more girls - you'll experience the lack of correlation between personality/behavior and attractiveness.

- always date multiple girls so that you can compare and contrast

- ask yourself if you would be having this dumb conversation, doing a stupid activity, or feeling a certain kind of way if the chick wasn't this attractive.

When you've got your dime piece in the sack, or on your arm at a function - you're on top of the world. When you're at home though, when you find out she'll eat your food but not help you with the dishes, BE STRONG and tell that chick where she's fucking up. And if she doesn't comply - cut that bitch off.

The strange thing about a sexual/romantic relationship is that a chick often wants/needs honest feedback out of the sack. You have to have boundaries and stick to your guns, early on, every day, and all day.

It sounds easy. But believe me, you will cave if she gets mad enough, if she pouts enough, or when she starts crying. When she makes a mistake, you call her on it, a chick will start to cry which will make you want to console her.

Her mistake then becomes, "I'm always fucking up. I'm not good enough for you"
And if you fall for that shit enough
1) she doesn't change her initial behavior,
2) she has a new tool to manipulate you with - something that you wouldn't stoop to

Cutting a chick off is infinitely easier if you've got a few on deck.

And by on deck, you're actively fucking them, not just prospects. It gives you the ability to act on your intentions, instead of melting when she offers a blowie in exchange for her poor behavior.

Believe me, I don't care how hot she is, you're going to get tired of fucking her, of putting up with her shit. There has to be value past her attractiveness, past her sex. That's in her behavior and with what the two of you create together.

This post connects with the Red Flags post.

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

You can only talk to her and see her side of it. Whatever "it" is
- music
- art
- politics

I notice that most game/pua sites are all about changing a girl's mind, ignoring her stuff, or finding clever ways to change the topic. Useful skills, but not always helpful.

A chick talking about her stupid ex needs to be deaded.
A chick talking about some stupid band is different. I"m not saying you need to start bumping "One Direction". Nor am I saying you need to listen to her and then make some personal algorithmic suggestion (Oh you like J.Cole, why not try Big L)

You've got to listen to a chick gush or glow about something and enjoy that youthful energy. ..

The other thing to keep in mind is that the sexual relationship is odd
- friends
- sex partners
- parenting

Even in the context of an Fuck Buddy situation, there are elements of those three core relationships between the two of you.

Friends is common ground and willing to accept differences and still remain friends
Sex is self explanatory

Parenting - caring for the chick and rule/boundary setting on your side. The same thing happens on her side. She cares for you, but she also sets boundaries. The difference is that a woman will more easily walk away from a situation than a man, and that's partly because there's another you 5 minutes away. (another reason to spin plates)

If you throw age and experience into the mix, your rule setting can come off parental.

So when you're with your young chick, you've got to enjoy her, go into her world, bring her into yours. There's going to be an experience gap and interest gap. Rather than be annoyed by it, enjoy it for what it is.

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

You don't need to go overseas to deal with a huge culture gap. Dating a chick from a different race or a different socio-economic class can be huge.

Dating a foreign born and raised chick in the US will bring those much bigger issues to bear. A prime example of this is how important is family.

Americans tend to be very atomized. You might talk to your parents regularly, once a week/month for guys, every day for girls. But chicks from different cultures might talk to extended family daily. Which means they're bringing her family drama into your daily life.

It means a quiet weekend with just the two of you can get interrupted by an emergency barbecue session because her cousins are in town, and they love the way you make chicken

Expressions, TV Shows, music and other cultural touch stones you may not share.

I've had GF's from all over. My Russian Ex, when dealing with her Russian Family or her Russian friends was a totally different person than when she dealt with her American friends. Her voice changed for one. Confidence in speech increased. Being West Indian, there were parts of her that I would never get to see, experience, or enjoy.

And there was plenty of culture clash. What foods went together, how to view strangers, the point of religion.

It's either a challenge or an opportunity.

WIA

[Downtown]

Hold your ground. Dont accept less than what you expect. Chicks will either rise to the occasion or bail. That is ok. Keep doing that until one sticks. Probably be when you're like 35 where it will really start to happen.

I've found a 25 year old 7.5 total slut who is thoughtful and thinks about others all the time, who also loves to take care of my children from other baby mommas.

It is possible. Just keep high standards and never relent.

[Lance Blastoff]

While there are some women that are highly damaged, most of what you get from a woman is about you, not her. How you act, and what you expect, will be the primary determinants for how she treats you.

[bradz]

You can't plan out your "perfect" mate. Well you can - but perfect doesn't exist. Even if it does at any given moment - people change.
There are a few things that can be big deal killers to some people (if you as a couple aren't on the same page) - sex, politics, money, religion, kids (to have or not). You need to know what is a deal killer for you. Can you find somebody who meets, say, 90% of your "ideal"? Sometimes chemistry inexplicably happens, too. Some couple like to do everything together. Some like lots of space. There are so many things going on in a marriage - all I can say is date and date and see if you can find somebody that you truly love hanging out with. Hopefully you agree on all or most of the big deal killers..

[Days of Broken Arrows]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

Look at the mother. The too-scrawny 18-year-old might blossom into a perfect, trim model-like 40-year-old. When erring, err on the side of thin, trust me. Your 6 might be a 9-in-waiting. I've kicked myself for not having the wisdom to see this when I was young. Conversely, a lot of the big-boobed 9s might be fat-ass 4s waiting to happen.

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

Bad news: Those moronic younger women you can't stand will age into even more moronic older women you can't stand even more. Ever heard of "Twilight Moms?" They're women that never grew up. There are a lot of them. I was the one who coined the phrase "Men Grow Up, Women Grow Old." You need to look for a good personality early on. And you might want to read my post to know what to avoid.

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Connections are often more emotional and about mindset than about background. I grew up in New York City, but connected best at 18-21 with a girl who lived most of her life on a dairy farm in a little town on Maryland's Eastern Shore. We saw things the same way yet brought new ideas to one another. But if I went in thinking "How can I relate to this farmer's daughter?" it never would have worked.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?
[/quote]

[Travesty]

speakeasy in this instance can't be trusted haha.

Older chicks are often a bit entitled in sex and just want to get off themselves. They are also more inclined to tell me what I do wrong or right during the act.

Younger chicks are like puddy in your hands. They let you take control. They are eager to please.

Don't listen to him.

Younger chicks all the way 18 if you can.

No doubt about it!

I think you need to have a younger mind to enjoy younger girls. I feel like I am an 8 year old boy looking to get into trouble still. I have never been the completely mature stoic type. I play fight with chicks all the time still. Just did on a first date 30 min. in with a 20yo last week.

I don't sit there and talk about the world and tastes. That isn't what women are for in my world. I want to have fun. Young girls provide that in boatloads.

[Lance Blastoff]

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

You don't. You can find a girl with a 10 personality and 10 looks. In no small part, this is because "a 10" is subjective, but also because a girl will be a "10 personality" for YOU, might also be a total bitch to another guy.

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

Once again, it's about the girl. I'm 40, my girlfriend is 22. I'm pretty intellectual, and she's not. (She is very smart, but not in a bookish sort of way.) We have fairly little in common, but spend almost all of our free time together and we never fail to find something to talk about. A few girlfriends ago, I was fucking (I wouldn't call it "dating") one of the hottest girls I've ever SEEN who was 23, but there was absolutely nothing to talk about and she was a total bitch. Unbelievably she gave the best head of my life, and I still ended it.. (Still think about her all the time, though.)

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

These things will work themselves out. Or they won't. And you'll break up. I grew up with a very, white, WASP-y, affluent background. Through college, I dated girls who came from a similar background to me. It wasn't until I entered the workforce that I started to realize that there was a whole different world of women to explore. Most recently, I've found myself drawn overwhelmingly toward Korean woman from affluent backgrounds. This has followed a period in which I was only interested in Latinas, which followed a period in which I was only into southern white girls, before that fobby Asian girls, Korean-American girls, etc.. Vive la difference.

The point I'm making is that, when you're young, you've got to learn how to be a 'gourmand' before you should want to be a 'gourmet.' Just keep dating / fucking women and once one annoys you, then dump her ass and move on. You're not going to meet "the one" when you're 23. You shouldn't. You need to fuck a lot of different women to figure out what you like and what you ultimately want. There are 3.5 billion vaginas on this planet. There's tens of millions of women attached to them that you could have a terrific time with. Trust me.

[hardman]

> 1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks?

It's easy to filter for looks, so to maximize efficiency, understand your other requirements for "quality company" and search (play the numbers) for women who satisfy your other requirements. I never meet up with a girl who doesn't satisfy my minimum physical requirements, but I'll consider relaxing some of my other criteria (education, location, personality) for an initial meet up. I'm less interested in short term "notch" relationships these days, but so far I've never regretted fucking the pretty girl who turned out to be an annoying, bitchy, feminist.

> 2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you?

Select for maturity and her interests and only decide later whether she has any longer term potential.

> 3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you?

Experiment. The right woman with a different cultural background can offer a lifetime of adventures and experiences. The wrong one will feel alien and out of place in your life. Find what feels right for you.

[Ausguy]

Foreign women look 10-20 years younger than westernise women. Asian 20-30 years younger. Their skin still feels young as well compare to 30 year old westernise women, it's horrible.

I'm 35 and been seeing 40-45 year old women and I thought they were 25.

Stay away from westernised women, they just poison your soul cause they are so mess up in the head!

3. I personally find foreign women interesting cause we lived different lives. Yes it can be a little harder to relate but you end up finding things that you both are interested in. I do admit, it's a little harder to make a deep connection cause of this but on the plus side, it means that I'm not opening up my soul to a woman. I find it easier to walk away and I'm less likely to get hurt so it's better!

[samsamsam]

^^^ Sort of related but slightly off tangent. How can there be so many hot chicks in a place like Ukraine but when you look at the older women they all look so rough?

Do you think it is the harsh circumstances while they were growing up during the Soviet Union? Meaning, we shouldn't extrapolate how the the young women will look in the future because they will have access to better food and resources?

[CaptainCrazy]

(05-11-2015 01:51 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

^^^ Sort of related but slightly off tangent. How can there be so many hot chicks in a place like Ukraine but when you look at the older women they all look so rough?

Do you think it is the harsh circumstances while they were growing up during the Soviet Union? Meaning, we shouldn't extrapolate how the the young women will look in the future because they will have access to better food and resources?

No. It's menopause.

Both Asian and EE can stay good looking for years but when they hit menopause, the wall catches up with them hard.

[YossariansRight]

(05-12-2015 08:18 PM)CaptainCrazy Wrote:  

(05-11-2015 01:51 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

^^^ Sort of related but slightly off tangent. How can there be so many hot chicks in a place like Ukraine but when you look at the older women they all look so rough?

Do you think it is the harsh circumstances while they were growing up during the Soviet Union? Meaning, we shouldn't extrapolate how the the young women will look in the future because they will have access to better food and resources?

No. It's menopause.

Both Asian and EE can stay good looking for years but when they hit menopause, the wall catches up with them hard.

^^Agreed (at least as far as EE goes). Most of the EE chicks I've played with have showed me pics of their mothers when they were young...the metamorphisis that hits them around 42+ is shocking. They crater...rapidly and very badly.

I was mean once and asked an EE chick "Were you adopted?"

There's a Ukrainian chick that works at my bank; she's mine for the taking. In the past ~4 months, she's exploded weight-wise. I don't think she's 40 yet, so she's a relatively early EE wall smasher.

Needless to say, I am not partaking.

[samsamsam]

Wow, didn't know it was menopause.

So why is it not as noticeable here? I guess the young girls just get fat as they growing up, so the explosion isn't as noticeable, I guess.

[Dusty]

I'm sure pollution, nutrition and a hard life contribute to it as well.

[YossariansRight]

(05-12-2015 08:47 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

Wow, didn't know it was menopause.

So why is it not as noticeable here? I guess the young girls just get fat as they growing up, so the explosion isn't as noticeable, I guess.

Fatness yes, that's the main culprit. And yes, when these chicks are already sloth-like, you really don't see the change. Sort of like when a land whake announces she's spawning soon. How the fuck can you tell she was knocked up to begin with?

[Gmac]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

I would recommend you find a woman who is not crazy, has an active lifestyle without a lot of drama and who doesn't wear too much makeup. Easier said than done.

Quote:

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

The older I get, the more annoyed with young women I tend to become. You will naturally expand your age range beyond 18-21. The truth is a lot of men (and women) naturally begin to filter out potential partners as they get older and get more experience. Only you will be able to determine what types of women whose company you will enjoy, and it's up to you to avoid and filter out those you will not.

You have to learn to put up with all the dumb crap young women do. This doesn't mean accepting their behavior, it just means you might need to overlook some things in order to get what you might want (sex, a relationship, etc.). This means more than just opening your mind, it means being a lot more patient and looking past immaturity and poor life choices.

At this point in my life I'm in my early 30's and would prefer to date a 6-8 in their mid to late twenties who has their shit mostly together. In 10 years, that might change, we'll see where I am.

Quote:

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

You can find connections anywhere. Traveling, shared interests / hobbies, stories, etc. Once you find something that might be a deal-breaker, it's up to you whether you decide to pursue it further. There are no fairy tales. That's life.

[N°6]

Sonoma, I can't become 18 again and read the Rational Male books but I can suggest you read them before women and the western dating market mess you up.

As a young man, you are in the group with the lowest value in the western dating market. You are also most likely the most romantic of groups in the dating market. Chumpery, simpery, Beta behaviour, White Knightery and other fawning and self-destructive behaviour probably takes hold when a man is your age when he makes the mistake of assigning his market value personally.

Buy both of Rollo's books.

[PUA_Rachacha]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

I think I might be the guy who could answer your question. I'm 36 and am engaged to a 26-year-old. I'll try to answer your questions the best I can:

1) You're going to have to sift through quite a bit of dirt to find gold. But you can refine your search to have more and better hits.

My fiancé is Eastern European, so she always desired an older man. If you're in America, I would focus on Eastern Europeans, SE Asians, and Latin Americans. Those three cultures still look positively on older-men/younger-women relationships. Those women are also much more emotionally mature at 25 than American women.

If I hadn't met my girl, I was planning on taking multiple trips per year to EE, SEA, or South America. As you can tell by the success of Roosh, LINUX or CleanSlate, it'll be easy to find a young, beautiful, emotionally-mature girl. Then you can decide to relocate there or eventually have her move to the States.

One thing: these younger girls are obviously not drawn to looks if they favor older men. They yearn for the financial stability and confidence that only an older man who has gone through the slings-and-arrows of life can acquire. I would focus on those attributes above all else.

2) There will be a bridge between you two at the beginning, but over time, you'll come closer and closer together. I'll give you an example: when I first met my girl, I hadn't listened to the radio in years. Had no idea who was popular. She obviously was the opposite. So, at first both of us hated each other's music. But over time you begin appreciating more modern music on the radio, while she starts to get the appeal of Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, etc.

Another example: she knew nothing about money management and had huge credit-card bills (with interest accruing) when I first met her. Yet she maintained a large savings account. At first she wouldn't take my advice, but over time she's understanding what are right and wrong financial decisions.

In essence, if she's attracted to you and vice versa, you'll make the effort to get to know each other. Just realize that in the beginning of the relationship, you've already become set in your ways and thus will have to loosen up a bit and learn something new.

Again, very few American woman at 25 years of age has the emotional capacity to try to understand older men. Thus, I would avoid them.

3) You mentioned a girl that you met whom you felt was entitled because she didn't take public transportation. But how did she look? I'm sure she always looked incredible. Realize that most younger women desire an older man because of the financial stability and confidence that they provide. She's trading her ephemeral beauty for your dollars and experience. If she's putting her end in the bargain, why won't you?

My girl actually comes from modest means, so she cooks most nights of the week. But one night per week she demands that I take her out on a nice date to a high-end restaurant. I blow generally $200 on that night. Does it bother me? In the beginning it did, but I realize that it makes her really happy, she dresses up to the nines, and I get some booty at the end. And since $200 doesn't mean much to me, it's a win-win for everybody.

Other cultural clash things you'll have to work on. See Point #2 above to bridge that gap. Eastern Europeans generally aren't as chatty or as expressive. It drove me nuts in the beginning, so my girl has become more talkative, but I've learned to deal with the long silences and lack of emotion as something that she will always do. You'll have to just learn to deal with some differences and accept them.

I hope that helps. PM me if you want to ask anything else.

[BDawg]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

"1-3"

Not quite 40 yet, but here is a response.

1. & 2. Keep in mind that the number system is how you feel around her. In other words, one man's 9 is another's 5 or 6. Nevertheless, I would rather listen to a 9 talk about her favorite music for an hour than a 5 eloquently skewer Antonin Scalia's recent dissent. The 9 likely has vitality and 5 can be upped by a YouTube video which can be (thankfully) paused. Fecund = Sexy...and as you get older a new pair of eyes becomes gold.
3. Coverage dissipates the subject. As you mature, you listen more and these gripes become jokes. That is, so long as you got it "in" before you start hearing these things. Oxytocin bonding wipes the floor with disqualifiers. Culture differences are included with this.
However, I agree with the above that looks alone are not enough. If she's rotten, she's rotten.

[Captain Jack]

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

I'm on the younger end of life and I've noticed that a lot of people promote settling down when older for someone much younger. Im interested in doing this myself, however-

1. How do you manage quality company without sacrificing looks? Even at my current state, I find myself settling for 6-7 because I enjoy their company more than a bitchy 9. (I'm an average looking guy myself)

9s are constantly getting hit on by men who are basically vaginas. Since she already has a vagina and doesn't want another one disguised like a man, it is a way to get rid of them fast.

When I first started going out it seemed like they ALL were bitchy. Now the only time I encounter one is if I'm out of whack in some way (very poor eating, overworked, lack of sleep and probably hormones out of whack).

When I approach them comfortably, powerfully and like a MAN then they respond very well and actually fall faster since it is so rare for them to find a man that isn't scared by hot women.

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

2. How do you enjoy the company of someone younger than you? While I love banging 18 year olds, I cant stand them. When I'm 40, I feel like this issue is going to be even worse.

I'm 39... last lay was with a 22 year old and last two long term relationships were with women under 25 (both college educated).

If you want intellectually stimulating conversation you want smart male friends. The role of a woman in your life is to re-energize you with the male-female interplay... not to discuss deep shit.

(12-17-2014 06:53 PM)Sonoma Wrote:  

3. I'm assuming a lot of people are going to say look overseas- so my question to that is, how do you find a connection with someone who has had a very different background than you? I've personally found girls who grew up differently than I did bothersome (example: I found a girl who was disgusted at the idea of using public transportation- daddy had always paid for a car). I'd imagine girls overseas are less entitled, but I still feel like there'd be a culture clash.

Has anyone ever dealt with this personally?

Women are extremely trainable. As soon as you show disapproval they'll fall in line IF you're a masculine man and not a feminine dude. (Not saying you are, just noticing the difference among guys I've coached).

I personally don't date a woman over 25 unless she is super hot. The reason has more to do with the changes a woman's body go through after that age (skin starts to lose elasticity). I've never had trouble with an American woman since I got good at approaching and seducing them.

Captain Jack