Wedo,
What's wrong with these guys? Lack of funds? Too old? Physically deformed and paraplegic?
What's wrong with these guys? Lack of funds? Too old? Physically deformed and paraplegic?
Quote: (10-11-2014 11:12 AM)Global Entry Wrote:
Its an interesting discussion (/patsownback).
Which countries does age matter least, as far as the difference in the age alone is unimportant (and I'm not talking about a situation where age doesn't matter because money does matter).
I always had the sense that in EE, girls actually wanted older guys. Bulgaria seemed that (Czech Republic, not so much). Also I thought in the Phils that there was some preference for older men for younger women. My gal (Chinese) told me that the ideal age difference is 15 years (we're almost exactly 15 years apart, so perhaps she's gaming me). I think preferring the age difference is a bit of an old fashioned ideal.
What does everyone else think?
Quote: (10-11-2014 12:56 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Quote: (10-11-2014 11:12 AM)Global Entry Wrote:
Its an interesting discussion (/patsownback).
Which countries does age matter least, as far as the difference in the age alone is unimportant (and I'm not talking about a situation where age doesn't matter because money does matter).
I always had the sense that in EE, girls actually wanted older guys. Bulgaria seemed that (Czech Republic, not so much). Also I thought in the Phils that there was some preference for older men for younger women. My gal (Chinese) told me that the ideal age difference is 15 years (we're almost exactly 15 years apart, so perhaps she's gaming me). I think preferring the age difference is a bit of an old fashioned ideal.
What does everyone else think?
In China, ideal age gap is not necessarily cut and dry in a number like 15. For example, Chinese commonly believe that a Chinese girl's perfect age to get married is 20-24 and that the husband should be 27-28. That's what they would call perfect or ideal. That said, after 28 it goes up to 35 to still be acceptable/good for a girl at 20-24. A girl older than 25/26, then no really one cares how old that guy is. Even more so if the guy is a high earner or successful business man. Remember everything is about face in China. Always look for the face angle. In fact, I would say no one cares when famous Chinese guys marry 20 year old girls after a divorce or whatever. In a Chinese person's mind, that person deserves that because of his power/wealth/guanxi. Chinese men actually look down on older guys with birds older than what they should be. If they think you picked well, they will have big smiles and put their hand on your shoulder and give a compliment.
She is probably smart enough to know that age gaps in the West is touchy stuff and is trying to help you feel more comfortable about it. How she knows that? I hope it's not because you fretted over that in front of her somehow. If it is not too late, you need to make sure she understands that you expect a 20 year old girl if you wanted one and that she knows that she can be easily replaced. That is high level game that must be put in from day 1 or asap to keep things in the order expected. Probably do not need that, but it never hurts. Always walk tall like the local men do and demand face in the same way they would expect that.
Quote: (10-09-2014 05:17 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
My back hurts as I type this even. Anyone with circumstances like mine, better get their shit in order faster than the dudes you see around you. I'm talking to busted up former athletes here.
Quote: (10-11-2014 01:00 PM)Global Entry Wrote:
Kai, I appreciate the general wisdom, but don't assume too much.
I didn't say there is a cut and dry ideal age gap is, so a reply that its not necessarily cut and dry.... no one said it was.
She and I have had zero discussions about age in general as an obstacle or anything like that, and she mentioned the age gap being ideal quite a while ago. It wasn't defensive, it was more a cheery thought to her, like aren't we perfect together. I can't even imagine why I'd worry about such a thing, particularly when its a buyers market and I look quite a bit younger than my age to most Chinese anyway (if not to Americans).
Quote: (10-11-2014 12:56 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Quote: (10-11-2014 11:12 AM)Global Entry Wrote:
Its an interesting discussion (/patsownback).
Which countries does age matter least, as far as the difference in the age alone is unimportant (and I'm not talking about a situation where age doesn't matter because money does matter).
I always had the sense that in EE, girls actually wanted older guys. Bulgaria seemed that (Czech Republic, not so much). Also I thought in the Phils that there was some preference for older men for younger women. My gal (Chinese) told me that the ideal age difference is 15 years (we're almost exactly 15 years apart, so perhaps she's gaming me). I think preferring the age difference is a bit of an old fashioned ideal.
What does everyone else think?
In China, ideal age gap is not necessarily cut and dry in a number like 15. For example, Chinese commonly believe that a Chinese girl's perfect age to get married is 20-24 and that the husband should be 27-28. That's what they would call perfect or ideal. That said, after 28 it goes up to 35 to still be acceptable/good for a girl at 20-24. A girl older than 25/26, then no really one cares how old that guy is. Even more so if the guy is a high earner or successful business man. Remember everything is about face in China. Always look for the face angle. In fact, I would say no one cares when famous Chinese guys marry 20 year old girls after a divorce or whatever. In a Chinese person's mind, that person deserves that because of his power/wealth/guanxi. Chinese men actually look down on older guys with birds older than what they should be. If they think you picked well, they will have big smiles and put their hand on your shoulder and give a compliment.
She is probably smart enough to know that age gaps in the West is touchy stuff and is trying to help you feel more comfortable about it. How she knows that? I hope it's not because you fretted over that in front of her somehow. If it is not too late, you need to make sure she understands that you expect a 20 year old girl if you wanted one and that she knows that she can be easily replaced. That is high level game that must be put in from day 1 or asap to keep things in the order expected. Probably do not need that, but it never hurts. Always walk tall like the local men do and demand face in the same way they would expect that.
Quote: (10-11-2014 03:00 PM)Lizard King Wrote:
Quote: (10-09-2014 05:17 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
My back hurts as I type this even. Anyone with circumstances like mine, better get their shit in order faster than the dudes you see around you. I'm talking to busted up former athletes here.
Slightly off topic, but have you considered yoga, or maybe tai-chi?
I used to do a very physical construction job in my late 20s(I'm 41 now). If it was a professional sport our bosses would have supplied us with physios and other injury preventing practices. In my 30s I would often get terrible pains in my back, sometimes from just lifting a kettle. I'm not as regular with it as I should be, but yoga has helped me a great deal, and I never get pains in my back anymore.
Quote: (10-11-2014 06:14 PM)robreke Wrote:
Reading this thread came at a good time for me. I'm 44 and recently was dumped, by a 26 year old girl in her last year of law school. I suppose I can be thankful in some sense because she was a lawyer and who wants to be married to one. But, she's the smartest girl, probably, I've ever dated and our conversations were great as was the sex. I'm pretty smart and wasn't able to find many women on my wavelength or intellectual capability who didn't eventually bore me. She left me for her long time ex who she said she wanted to give one more chance ( and who Im sure is closer to her age ). I hate to admit it, but I had oneitis and it hurt ( and still does ) that she left. I've been semi-depressed. I'm dating another girl I'm not nearly as attracted to though who is fun and trying to meet others.
What I think is adding to my sadness is I was looking at myself as a 44 year old man who is "running out of options". After reading many of these posts here, I think I have a self pitying mindset and I need to snap the fuck out. I can still pass for mid , sometimes early, thirties. I'm decent looking and still get looks from younger women from time to time though not like in my 30s. I want to have a family and children and , perhaps subconsciously, viewed this girl who just left me, as a fading chance at a cool attractive young woman I could have a LTR with and even children. Now, she's gone. I left it at " call me if it doesn't work out" and she said she would. I've been thinking about contacting her to trying to convince her to choose me as wrong as this is or I'm hoping it doesn't work out for the same reasons again with her ex and she calls me soon....But I can't wait for that. I've got to move on.
I've actually been bordering on, as I mentioned earlier, depression, and I'm constantly thinking about her. I know this isn't a thread about oneitis or heartbreak and I don't mean to go on with my current issues, but the point is, reading the posts of the members on this thread, especially the older guys who are still slaying young pussy, has given me more hope and determination to change my mindset and try to forget her and move on. It's also given me ideas of things I need to focus my current thoughts and planning on. Instead of constantly thinking about this girl, I need to think about planning a fun trip to Colombia or Ukraine. I need to focus on opening an OK Cupid account, approaching any and all women I find attractive during the daytime ( I don't do night game)
I really do want to have a family one day and, even though I'm approaching my mid 40s, I realize if I develop the right mindset, and set goals and get out there and talk to more women, I will find the right companion.
I also realize I need to hit the weights more. I know things will get better with time and I think by absorbing the wisdom of this thread, I can quicken this process.
Quote: (10-11-2014 10:31 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Stop talking to bitches for intellectual stimulation. That shit is beta. What you need is a real woman not married to a fucking career. You want intellectual stimulation? Fucking talk to me. Talk to RVF. That bitch isn't smarter than us. Bust your nuts in women and talk to men.
Quote: (10-11-2014 11:07 PM)reco2100 Wrote:
Kai, read healing back pain by Dr. Sarnow. It not only made me healthier overall. It changed my views radically on what really causes a lot of our physical problems.
Most importantly it fucking works.
Quote: (10-11-2014 10:31 PM)TravelerKai Wrote:
Quote: (10-11-2014 06:14 PM)robreke Wrote:
Reading this thread came at a good time for me. I'm 44 and recently was dumped, by a 26 year old girl in her last year of law school. I suppose I can be thankful in some sense because she was a lawyer and who wants to be married to one. But, she's the smartest girl, probably, I've ever dated and our conversations were great as was the sex. I'm pretty smart and wasn't able to find many women on my wavelength or intellectual capability who didn't eventually bore me. She left me for her long time ex who she said she wanted to give one more chance ( and who Im sure is closer to her age ). I hate to admit it, but I had oneitis and it hurt ( and still does ) that she left. I've been semi-depressed. I'm dating another girl I'm not nearly as attracted to though who is fun and trying to meet others.
What I think is adding to my sadness is I was looking at myself as a 44 year old man who is "running out of options". After reading many of these posts here, I think I have a self pitying mindset and I need to snap the fuck out. I can still pass for mid , sometimes early, thirties. I'm decent looking and still get looks from younger women from time to time though not like in my 30s. I want to have a family and children and , perhaps subconsciously, viewed this girl who just left me, as a fading chance at a cool attractive young woman I could have a LTR with and even children. Now, she's gone. I left it at " call me if it doesn't work out" and she said she would. I've been thinking about contacting her to trying to convince her to choose me as wrong as this is or I'm hoping it doesn't work out for the same reasons again with her ex and she calls me soon....But I can't wait for that. I've got to move on.
I've actually been bordering on, as I mentioned earlier, depression, and I'm constantly thinking about her. I know this isn't a thread about oneitis or heartbreak and I don't mean to go on with my current issues, but the point is, reading the posts of the members on this thread, especially the older guys who are still slaying young pussy, has given me more hope and determination to change my mindset and try to forget her and move on. It's also given me ideas of things I need to focus my current thoughts and planning on. Instead of constantly thinking about this girl, I need to think about planning a fun trip to Colombia or Ukraine. I need to focus on opening an OK Cupid account, approaching any and all women I find attractive during the daytime ( I don't do night game)
I really do want to have a family one day and, even though I'm approaching my mid 40s, I realize if I develop the right mindset, and set goals and get out there and talk to more women, I will find the right companion.
I also realize I need to hit the weights more. I know things will get better with time and I think by absorbing the wisdom of this thread, I can quicken this process.
I been on the sauce all night so pardon my French.
Stop talking to bitches for intellectual stimulation. That shit is beta. What you need is a real woman not married to a fucking career. You want intellectual stimulation? Fucking talk to me. Talk to RVF. That bitch isn't smarter than us. Bust your nuts in women and talk to men. We are the Greek Senate in here. Your male bonding experience is right here with us. When you seek that kind of validation from women, they slowly end up losing respect for you. That's how you ended up in the friend zone and she fucking went back to a past itch. You could have grunted and fucked her and got further than what you did by trying to get deep with her. You ended up being a psychology couch instead.
When you start traveling keep shit basic. Let her cook you something. In fact ask them to do that point blank. Get blow jobs. Empty your rocks. Finish when you want and go to sleep without a word. The next morning I betcha she make you breakfast and take care of you. Stop trying to be their friend.
Don't do it again.
Quote: (10-12-2014 08:19 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:
Something that surprised me is in my late 50s I can tell a Filipina (sub-9) I think she's cute and want to "give her a baby" ( those exact words) and most of them act like it's not rude or crazy. Having a child is considered one of, if not the MOST important and pleasurable essentials in life to them.
Probably 10-20% call my bluff and say "OK" or "That would be great." They're basically ready right then and there to get down and have a baby, especially if you've chatted on line for a while and she sees you as a middle class character. I have to admit i was pretty dumbfounded by this and had to do a gut check and ask myself, "Am I ready to create a life with this woman right here and now?!"
It's one thing to muse on having children, another to be in bed with a girl who wants you to cum right in her and will definitely keep the baby.
If you are a decent looking white guy and she is 25 she will have far more status if she has a white professional's child , even if he isn't around much, than a local's. At least two have said "I want to have a foreigner's baby" or "I want a beautiful child."
Some of them have even offered to meet up for a few days when they're fertile specifically to try to get pregnant.
Quote: (10-11-2014 06:14 PM)robreke Wrote:
Reading this thread came at a good time for me. I'm 44 and recently was dumped, by a 26 year old girl in her last year of law school. I suppose I can be thankful in some sense because she was a lawyer and who wants to be married to one. But, she's the smartest girl, probably, I've ever dated and our conversations were great as was the sex. I'm pretty smart and wasn't able to find many women on my wavelength or intellectual capability who didn't eventually bore me. She left me for her long time ex who she said she wanted to give one more chance ( and who Im sure is closer to her age ). I hate to admit it, but I had oneitis and it hurt ( and still does ) that she left. I've been semi-depressed. I'm dating another girl I'm not nearly as attracted to though who is fun and trying to meet others.
What I think is adding to my sadness is I was looking at myself as a 44 year old man who is "running out of options". After reading many of these posts here, I think I have a self pitying mindset and I need to snap the fuck out. I can still pass for mid , sometimes early, thirties. I'm decent looking and still get looks from younger women from time to time though not like in my 30s. I want to have a family and children and , perhaps subconsciously, viewed this girl who just left me, as a fading chance at a cool attractive young woman I could have a LTR with and even children. Now, she's gone. I left it at " call me if it doesn't work out" and she said she would. I've been thinking about contacting her to trying to convince her to choose me as wrong as this is or I'm hoping it doesn't work out for the same reasons again with her ex and she calls me soon....But I can't wait for that. I've got to move on.
I've actually been bordering on, as I mentioned earlier, depression, and I'm constantly thinking about her. I know this isn't a thread about oneitis or heartbreak and I don't mean to go on with my current issues, but the point is, reading the posts of the members on this thread, especially the older guys who are still slaying young pussy, has given me more hope and determination to change my mindset and try to forget her and move on. It's also given me ideas of things I need to focus my current thoughts and planning on. Instead of constantly thinking about this girl, I need to think about planning a fun trip to Colombia or Ukraine. I need to focus on opening an OK Cupid account, approaching any and all women I find attractive during the daytime ( I don't do night game)
I really do want to have a family one day and, even though I'm approaching my mid 40s, I realize if I develop the right mindset, and set goals and get out there and talk to more women, I will find the right companion.
I also realize I need to hit the weights more. I know things will get better with time and I think by absorbing the wisdom of this thread, I can quicken this process.
Quote: (10-08-2014 03:29 PM)Americas Wrote:
Although I am a new member on this forum, one thing in particular I have noticed that is lacking in perspective is developing relationship skills somewhere along the lines in your 20s and 30s.
There seems to be a general disdain for "oneitis" but I don't think it's such a black and white issue. I think having a couple LTRs during your younger years is really important for when the time comes to actually settle down later in your life. Why you might ask?
Well...a lot of men on this board do seem to want to settle down at some point, whether that involves having children, getting married, or whatever. But the simple matter is that there are actually two components to game: pickup game (for getting girls) and relationship game (for keeping them around). There seems to be a lot of emphasis on the first on this board and not a lot for the latter. If you have relatively no relationship skills it is going to be very difficult to have a functional marriage for when you want it regardless of the girl you choose to do it with.
If you stay single almost your entirety of your life and just say "one day I'll get married and have kids" then you might be setting yourself up for disaster. Relationships are actually quite complex, and can only really be functional if you have some prior experience with them through trial and error.
I am 26 years old and by no means a relationship expert but I do have a one year+ relationship under my belt and I learned a shitload through that process. I think finding a girl that you really enjoy to be with and having a stable, and especially loyal (if she wants it that way that is), relationship is a really important life experience.
I mean, do you really think you can just crash course a marriage with kids with no prior or significant relationship experience in your repertoire? Women can be wily creatures and they can wear you down to a fraction of a man you once were if you don't know how to manage them in a serious relationship. And if you want children, having a strong and healthy relationship with their mother is truly vital to their development as human beings.
So I guess it's kind of just a throw of caution to the wind for some of you on here; if you find a girl you really like, test out the relationship waters, you might be surprised at how rewarding it can be. Of course, it can also be a total clusterfuck but it's worth the risk for the potential reward.