Quote: (09-08-2014 08:06 PM)Cobra Wrote:
I just want to add that BELIEVING in the affirmation is very important. I think that this belief engages the subconscious part of the brain that doesn't fly by logic but maybe emotion. The emotion that makes you feel good about yourself and also results in that feeling no matter how bad the rejection or blowout.
I agree, genuine belief is key.
Even if you know the right mindset to have (e.g. abundance mentality), it takes a lot of work to instill that belief in yourself. You can't just uninstall previous beliefs and download new red pill convictions. You're basically trying to perform inception on yourself, and it takes real time and effort to develop an authentic, emotional belief.
For me, having a list of accomplishments that I consider worthwhile and impressive has helped me to genuinely believe that I'm a high-value man who deserves high-value women.
When I was 18, it was difficult for me to adopt an entitled attitude, because in my mind there wasn't much I could offer a girl. I lacked status and a social network. I didn't have an expensive house or car, or a sculpted physique, good looks, height, or a fascinating suite of life experiences and stories with which to entertain. There was no reason to think that a hot girl should choose to be with me over older, wealthier, taller, better looking, more popular men.
What changed for me was the realization that men and women were different, and that while her value (which is based primarily on her youth and beauty) can only be tweaked to a certain extent, my value can be created entirely from scratch. I can work hard, earn money, make friends, dress better, go to the gym, travel, read books, and approach women in order to practice my wit and charm.
So I did all those things, and as my masculine value increased, so did my success with women. This success boosted my ego and helped me view myself as an attractive man (which in turn led to more success with women). I imagine it's similar to a cute girl putting on makeup for the first time and, after seeing an increase in head turns and flirtations, starting to think of herself as an 8 instead of a 6. While affirmations can help you adopt a new belief, real-world feedback can help solidify it.
While for the younger guys "fake it 'til you make it" should still be a staple, earning your own value (like already mentioned a few times in this thread) to me seems like the best long-term method of achieving self-confidence and the mindset that comes along with it.