[Nomad77]

Here is someone (Steve Jabba) who is far more experienced and accomplished than me stating exactly one of the main points I keep harping about on here: that inner game, your internal mindset and belief system is, by far, the most important component of game. All of this "technical" game stuff is the other 25% and if you have the inner game stuff in place you can make a lot of "technical" mistakes and still compensate for them. All this stuff about openers, texting, 1st, 2nd, 3rd strategies etc simply doesn't matter that much. But I also understand that getting the inner game stuff (your internal frame) right is a lot harder to do because you can't easily quantify it. There is no quick seven step program to fixing your internal frame. It takes time: years. It's the difference between adding a turbo charger to make a car fast vs redesigning the whole car to be fast.

He nailed it right here: "if I had to express what the right mindset is, it's the degree to which you believe you are entitled to that hot girl..."

I talk about this here: http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-37898.html

This is what these so called "naturals" have and why they really don't need much game.

[nek]

Great topic and I still struggle with this. For some reason, I don't think I deserve anything at times. Any good fortune, anything I've "earned" I still don't think I deserve. Not sure why, I think it's just a personality thing I have (my mom is the same way). If I won a gold medal, I'd still doubt myself and think it was a fluke. I don't always think like this, but I do go through long periods like this.

PS Dude you always have the best threads. Just wanted to give you props where it is truly warranted.

[Nomad77]

Thanks. Sounds like a self-esteem issue.

[Truth Teller]

Yeah, I actually own Jabba's stuff and think it's really good. He's right that it's largely mindset.

[el mechanico]

Most of these vids are made for complete basket cases. I tried to watch but let me give you guys and alternate scenario..

So.. El mech is well an el mech..

Cunts come to him. some real hot but her car is broke and they have no time (or want to pay with their own money)

They use what works all day long....

On me.

I comply? = no tail.

So what do you do?

Charge the fuck out of them straight faced.

Someone (knight type) shows up if not to pay but worried about me.. To be cont

[Cobra]

Nomad77, again a very quality post that I think a lot of newbies will ignore to make way for tips on what to say to a girl, over analyzing what a girl is doing or saying etc. These encompass what you already mentioned at a high level above.

I say this because I too have overanalyzed. What I want to say is though that once your inner game is tight, you will automatically know what to say and what to do. And you will be comfortable doing it.

Yes, this comes from years of crushing shitty limiting beliefs and prioritizing positive entitling beliefs. For me, my positive inner beliefs were overtaken by years of limiting beliefs that took over. Recently I have understood this and consciously adjust my behaviors over and over until it becomes a habit.

I started with the gym, adjusted how I walk and then adjusted how I dress. I still have approach anxiety but am starting to discover that girls are usually checking me out all the time.

[Nomad77]

Thanks. Regardless of how you start, it's a path you want to start walking down sooner rather than later. It personally took me years to regain my internal frame that I once had after living in this country screwed me over. The first thing I did was stop watching TV. It's insidious. The way they portrait men becomes your mindset before you realize it. The media in this country will fuck you over faster than any girl ever will and in a more permanent fashion. Rebuilding your internal belief system can take years and it's something you have to actively work on every day. But once you have it, it's the greatest feeling in the world. Just imagine what it would be like never really having to worry how you will approach or interact with a girl? But it also affects everything else in your life. You finally come to know what it feels like to be a MAN. There is a certainty of purpose and action that cannot be described only experienced. And this is a quality women find irresistible in men.

[Moma]

(09-06-2014 06:16 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Most of these vids are made for complete basket cases. I tried to watch but let me give you guys and alternate scenario..

So.. El mech is well an el mech..

Cunts come to him. some real hot but her car is broke and they have no time (or want to pay with their own money)

They use what works all day long....

On me.

I comply? = no tail.

So what do you do?

Charge the fuck out of them straight faced.

Someone (knight type) shows up if not to pay but worried about me.. To be cont

What do you mean?

[el mechanico]

(09-06-2014 06:55 PM)Moma Wrote:  

(09-06-2014 06:16 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Most of these vids are made for complete basket cases. I tried to watch but let me give you guys and alternate scenario..

So.. El mech is well an el mech..

Cunts come to him. some real hot but her car is broke and they have no time (or want to pay with their own money)

They use what works all day long....

On me.

I comply? = no tail.

So what do you do?

Charge the fuck out of them straight faced.

Someone (knight type) shows up if not to pay but worried about me.. To be cont

What do you mean?

What do you not get? You know I'm a shit writer but makes sense to me.

Cunts are cunts. Hot girls are mega cunts in their own cunt order as free or text and wait.

[attachment=21469]

[Fortis]

This is probably the hardest part of game, because it goes beyond just learning behaviours and everything. Like most, I struggle with this. I'm getting better in small ways, but progress is slow. It's like gaining muscle, except at a rate 100 times slower than the average person's rate. It can be downright disheartening. But I don't see myself as having any choice in the matter. It's this, or no chance to reproduce.

[Nomad77]

Here is how you do it. Treat it like a religion. Just choose to believe 100% and trust that everything else will follow and it will. It begins with your self-esteem. You have to fix that first.

I honestly believe I am better than a Victoria Secret model. Why? Because her value was given to her. I have earned my value.

[Deluge]

When you have strong inner game (aka alpha mentality), your outer game will reflect that. When you teach someone how to confidently open, banter, have good body language, run text game, escalate etc. what you're really teaching them to do is act like how they would act if they had great inner game. Over the time the success they gain from correcting their technical stuff and the resulting confidence and abundance that builds leads to their inner game becoming more and more solid, until they've essentially faked it till they made it. This process can take people years to fully complete.

[GoldenGod]

First time post here,

Nomad, I enjoy what you have to say and it rings true to the way I live my life. I used to wonder why I had a hard time picking up girls as a teen. Even my ugly buds would grab chicks on me.

I had low self esteem and thought I wasn't worthy. It came right out in my body language. I was a Beta, a pleaser not a leader. But as I have evolved into a young adult I have found things in my life to give me inner balance and uninhibited confidence. "Inner Game" is the first thing to improve if you want to not only attract women but create better, more successful relationships all around.

Keep spreading the love brother, we all appreciate it.

[Windom Earle]

These are some poignant points to take on board, definitely, however there's a lot more to "inner game" than just

developing self-confidence and having a belief that you deserve that hot girl.


When dealing with girls, you're also invariably dealing with a certain social class. If you're punching above your weight in

this regard, there is a very real and perceptible barrier that you need to break through. This may take the form of increased

shit tests, and/or shaking a self-limiting belief that you don't deserve to be mixing in her circle. Sure, if a ONS is the goal,

then maybe it's not as much as a concern, but they're issues to work through nonetheless.


I say this from my own personal experience. I'm not so much intimidated by the hotness a girl exudes, as I am the

increased scrutiny I'll be under in order to prove that I'm good enough if I get the inkling there's a class mismatch - in her

mind (and everyone she associates with) and my own.


I'm probably a bit more sensitive to these issues considering I have a daughter, and know that can be a deal breaker right

off the bat, not only in a "baggage" sense, but also the perception some people have of broken families and the inevitable

disapproval they'll get from their circle (more so their parents) if they were to pursue that relationship seriously.

[XXL]

(09-06-2014 09:32 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

Here is how you do it. Treat it like a religion. Just choose to believe 100% and trust that everything else will follow and it will. It begins with your self-esteem. You have to fix that first.

I honestly believe I am better than a Victoria Secret model. Why? Because her value was given to her. I have earned my value.

This ^^ is the best explanation of this "dilemma" guys.


I know that many of us struggle with the concept of entitlement and deserving the girl etc because we're way more aware of social dynamics. Unfortunately, if you have this virus in your head that makes your software run slow then this is a problem. That virus is the thing that fucks up your results in real life even if you know what to do in every stage of game.

The game, as we understand it, is just one big fat mindfuck. To think that you can just walk up to any random girl and influence her in a way that she's likely to change her plans and go with you, you have to be unplugged from mainstream state of mind and feel free to do anything you like just because you want to, not because you're allowed to by someone/something. It's a matter of permission given to you by yourself.

Metaphorically speaking, it's like an artist who just does his thing as a expression of himself. He doesn't need any approval from nobody to do it and he doesn't think he has to get to the certain point to be entitled to make a song. He just does it like a 5 year old reaches his hand out for a cookie. That's the mindset of a natural. No weird self sabotaging thoughts. He sees a beautiful girl, he's turned on, he might go talk to her or not but there's no virus telling him whether he can/should do it or not.

With that "it's all good" mindset where there are no obstacles getting in the way things just flow. It doesn't mean it goes well every time. Far from that. But it feels different for sure. Like you enter the room full of good looking strangers and you can just chat up with any person like it's nothing.

Besides all of that, I also found that so called entitlement comes from experience like those: You worked really hard and finally nailed that super hot unicorn girl you thought was so amazing. It's 5th day of your vacation trip. You're both eating breakfast together, she's sleepy cranky and yapping about something stupid. You're sitting there looking at her with your arms crossed thinking.. "is this it? fuck, she's so annoying. Is THIS what I was stressing out so much? Idiot...". Suddenly the fantasy is gone and you see pure reality. She's just a girl dude, she's just a girl.

[Godfuzer]

Quote:

All of this "technical" game stuff is the other 25% and if you have the inner game stuff in place you can make a lot of "technical" mistakes and still compensate for them.

I completely agree. These 25% can be learned and used to great effect, but if you want real results on the long term, you need to understand why these techniques work. And this is what leads to strong inner game, which naturally leads to spontaneous use of these techniques, without thinking about it.

[OnlyMarryInTajikistan]

Outer game is inner game.

In game you must push your limits. When you start achieving things you thought impossible, your mindset changes because the environment has forced it to change. If you see the Sun come out every day, nobody can tell you it doesn't. If you are pulling 9s, or fast sex, or public sex... nobody can tell you it's not possible because you have the reference points.

You don't create inner game by whispering things to yourself in the mirror. You go out and you PROVE to yourself what is possible, and your mindset will change with that.

[Nomad77]

Who decides your value? Is anyone estimate better than anyone else? And if you are going to assign yourself a value why not make it a high one? If the fatties in America can believe they are hot shit why can't any of you? We can either just believe something and then seek confirmation of it or first get confirmation then adopt the belief. But religion doesn't work that way. Religion ask that you believe in something that will never be confirmed. Yet, there are millions of people that do exactly this and do it for a lifetime. So no, a belief does not require confirmation.

[Redwood]

This all ties in to the Law of Attraction, whether you believe it or not.

[Nomad77]

True. We attract that which we feel we are entitled to or deserve because these are the women that will feel most comfortable around us.

[Checkmat]

My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

"As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly."

If affirmations won't work on people who already have low self-esteem then what practical things can somebody do to change their beliefs?

It's like telling somebody that to be succcessful, they need to believe in God.

For me personally, I've read about the myriad benefits religion has on people's stress levels and anxiety and it sounds like it has real-work therapeutic uses. But if you don't believe in God, it's not like you can fool yourself into believing just to reap the benefits. If your existence and beliefs don't reflect what you tell yourself, you get a 404 error. Does not compute.

[polar]

Checkmat: I'm nowhere near the Mt. Olympus of game, but what worked for me is starting at a level you're comfortable with and climbing up from there as you will have positive reference experiences.

Stress levels go from anxious (high), comfortable (medium, optimal performance) and boring (low).

Work on attracting and laying 5's. Once that gets comfortable or boring, you'll do better with 6's. Etc.

If you've succeeded with Asian 4's and white 7's, you'll feel more comfortable with an Asian 6's.

If you've picked a girl up at a particular coffee shop or bar, you'll feel more comfortable about going harder there the next time.

Etc.

After going out, take time to reflect and vividly reimagine your successes during that session so that next time you're in an unfamiliar situation, your mind can find similarities and turn down the adrenaline rush - "oh, I've been successful at a coffee shop / with this type of girl / with cuter girls / with this opener before...let's use what worked last time as a template to improvise on"

[Ensam]

(09-07-2014 04:43 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  

My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

"As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly."

If affirmations won't work on people who already have low self-esteem then what practical things can somebody do to change their beliefs?

It's like telling somebody that to be succcessful, they need to believe in God.

For me personally, I've read about the myriad benefits religion has on people's stress levels and anxiety and it sounds like it has real-work therapeutic uses. But if you don't believe in God, it's not like you can fool yourself into believing just to reap the benefits. If your existence and beliefs don't reflect what you tell yourself, you get a 404 error. Does not compute.

You're absolutely right that affirmations in general won't work. You have to actually believe the statements in order for them to have any effect. There are three ways to attack this:

1) Cut out the negative self talk. At the very least you should stop beating up on yourself. At the very most a rational self analysis but when you're starting out err on the side of caution and just cut out any kind of analysis until you know how to control your negative thoughts.

2) Use self-affirmations rather than positive-affirmations. A self affirmation is a positive statement about yourself that you know is true. You can (and should) start small.

3) Set a few realistic goals and go accomplish them. This will help you discover new things that you can add to your self affirmation arsonal.

[RexImperator]

(09-07-2014 04:43 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  

My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

"As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly."

If affirmations won't work on people who already have low self-esteem then what practical things can somebody do to change their beliefs?

This is going to sound weird to some but I think it starts with dis-identification from your own thoughts.

If you can see that your mind (the one that produces verbal, logical arguments, makes plans, etc., and basically generates the thoughts that you can verbalize) is just a problem-solving tool for the human organism, and is not actually you, then you can see that it frequently runs on "faulty software" etc. You start to take your own thoughts less seriously and can get some space from them.

[Dusty]

(09-07-2014 04:43 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  

My question is, how do you actually program or RE-program yourself to have these beliefs?

I was looking up affirmations just now (repeating phrases over and over again to yourself, ie "I am a lovable person", or "I accept myself completely as I am") and this study came up: https://www.psychologicalscience.org/med...9/wood.cfm

"As it turned out, the individuals with low self-esteem felt worse after repeating the positive self-statement compared to another low self-esteem group who did not repeat the self-statement. The individuals with high self-esteem felt better after repeating the positive self-statement--but only slightly."

If affirmations won't work on people who already have low self-esteem then what practical things can somebody do to change their beliefs?

It's like telling somebody that to be succcessful, they need to believe in God.

For me personally, I've read about the myriad benefits religion has on people's stress levels and anxiety and it sounds like it has real-work therapeutic uses. But if you don't believe in God, it's not like you can fool yourself into believing just to reap the benefits. If your existence and beliefs don't reflect what you tell yourself, you get a 404 error. Does not compute.

Yeah, I don't believe in affirmations. You can change your mindset and belief system by using data and logic though and by behavioral changes. I created this thread last year on Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy last year you might want to check out.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-28873.html