Quote: (01-01-2018 07:43 AM)3extra Wrote:
For anyone looking to get into daygame the biggest obstacle is going to be yourself, the approach anxiety. The best way to overcome this is through mass approaching. I'm talking 30-50 over the course of one weekend, nowhere near the 1000s Torero etc report.
First, what you are recommending is "Exposure Therapy" which, for some, can work well, but for others, actually makes things worse. Even after some guys get success from a daytime approach, be it a number, date, or even lay, more exposure just seems to make their emotional state and approaches worse. There are various ways to deal with something that is feared, one of them being Exposure Therapy, but there are many drawbacks to ET as well. Every man is different so a blanket "spam approach X girls to get rid of your 'AA'" is not always the right advice.
Second, the concept of "AA" is taken for granted on this forum as "Approach Anxiety", so anxiety when you are going to approach and when you are approaching. For different men, so-called AA will feel different, and have different resolutions, assuming it can be resolved or controlled (as I believe it never fully goes away). I would describe so-called "AA" as not just "anxiety", but depending on the situation a strong feeling of negative emotion which floods my senses in order to push me away from doing the approach. It can feel like a sense of impending doom. The whole tribal angle "don't approach that hot girl from that foreign tribe because you'll get your head bashed in by the men" I am guessing is why such strong emotion evolved for something which, when you've done it, you realize how you didn't really risk anything (assuming you're in a safe country where the men don't carry weapons and target foreigners trying to sleep with their girls). In addition, every time you are putting yourself on the line to be immediately judged by real-time feedback by a girl, and again for evolutionary reasons (e.g. other girls finding out, being ostracized etc.), we have egos which are very sensitive to social - particularly romantic - rejection. To be very good at day game, you have to not only have the skill, but even more importantly in my opinion, experience a sort of
ego death which cannot be measured by number of approaches, and a feeling of being safe when approaching, that nothing bad is going to happen, a genuine feeling of comfort.
Someone on another thread somewhere said that game - particularly day game - is as close to death as we can get while technically being fully alive and conscious, because, in order to succeed properly, your ego has to basically die. This, I don't think, applies to very easygoing, non-neurotic guys, and naturals; but for more introverted guys going into daygame as a preference to nightgame, it's along the lines of what has to happen. Solo day game especially involves this. When you experience the "AA" feeling, and the sting of rejection, alone and with no one to back you up, it is a very dangerous state for a person to be in from a tribal mind's perspective: you are a lone-wolf, hunting alone, trying to survive alone, going into some other social structure and trying to extract arguably their most prized object. Profound ego death - or "learned truly not giving a fuck" - does make a person calloused. Positive compliments/successes - not just negative reactions - have less visceral joy because the reaction of other people, even hot girls, is separate from whatever values one defines as what gives you your actual value. Going further you can become full on nihilist in terms of your reactions and your results and then your life. The "best" day time PUAs seem to have reached a level of ego death - or alternatively plain irrational positive delusion as a defence mechanism from being a so-called former "Gamma" (e.g. Krauser) - but they still define themselves by their successes. They find a way to cope with the failures with as minimal emotional impact as possible, all the while magnifying their successes. This is clear in the writings of Krauser and Torero. If I had been Torero at any point in my life I would look at myself in the mirror and see an ugly, creepy looking snake who no woman, let alone any hot woman, would ever even consider fucking. How do you deal with that reality? Obviously he had some considerable delusional positivity in there somewhere to deal with 98% of his approaches failing, and he just kept going with autistic focus. With such a high failure rate, I think you have to have delusional positivity and lots of it to succeed in day game long-term. Both Krauser and Torero have it in buckets. In Bodi's book Krauser is constantly posturing and yelling about how awesome he is and it very quickly becomes annoying; but at least in one conversation Krauser admits this fact. How every man deals with the feelings of daygame, particularly solo daygame, depends on each individual and whether he can successfully cope with these feelings long-term I would argue is one of, if not the, top determinants of whether you're going to be successful at it long-term.
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Going out to daygame alone as a beginner is about as nerve-wracking as it gets; having a mate there to bounce off will make it a lot less traumatic, and perhaps even enjoyable. At the end of the day, it's supposed to be enjoyable.
It is made 10x easier to have a genuine friend there even if it is just to bounce off between approaches, to not be alone. But when you're alone, there is that extra, sinister dimension to it, which can be most destructive and exhausting, but also lead to a higher level of self-development. It can be "traumatic" when it goes badly, but exponentially more glorious when you get success from it.
@The Catalyst - Bodi's books are written in memoir format, but they are also part game guide for men who have pretty big psychological barriers preventing them from taking their daygame to a consistent level, or sometimes any success at all. They are written far better than the "Mastery" book by Krauser, or any of Krauser's memoirs, which, while OK, are dogshit in comparison to this memoir by Bodi, both in content, insight and in writing ability. They also feature many of the London day game guys in the third person, in a pretty raw and realistic light. Krauser, I've never liked the guy, but he comes across as even worse in the book. He is a tough northerner who eats like a pig and talks in an accent barely intelligible to most of us, but this oaf-like stupidity when walking around means he can relentlessly approach and, in his affectionate terms, "rattle birds". Bodi also describes features of day game that I have observed and even "named" myself that are not present in any of Krauser's books simply because Krauser is unaware of them. Krauser did start off in a pathetic position initially, old bald and divorced - but he has a lot of inherent strength and just blind stupidity so that, even if he creates a daygame model as he has, there are many extremely important things missing that will still cause the average guy to fail. Krauser's model is also just one way of doing things, but so delusionally confident and rigid, he is convinced that the elaborate diagrams in Mastery are "the" way to do things rather than "one" way. He is a more mathematical guy than sensitive or philosophical than Bodi, which serves him well in being able to handle daygame 100x better than Bodi, but makes his books sorely lacking in comparison. Mastery is a huge book, but it's just an extension of Krauser's love of his own theories, so he goes on an on about them, as he does in real life. Bodi describes tons of real things that will happen in day game, but which in a huge 300-400 page book (or however long Mastery is), Krauser fails to do, because it has never entered his very limited sphere of consciousness.
For most daygamers absolutely worth the read and price. Even just for entertainment value, I couldn't put it down at times. For such a depressing book at times, I also laughed surprisingly often, a lot of the time as I could relate to a particular quirk of day game or just because of Bodi's witty style, which Krauser tries in his memoirs but largely fails. Just one of Krauser's four memoirs is about 600 pages long. Bodi's two books total 700 pages. Bodi says in 100 pages more than Krauser does in an entire book. Krauser just likes to talk a lot so it's natural for him to have very, very high page counts. 4 volumes of 600 page memoirs - 2400 pages, wow.
The only guy I dislike more than Krauser is Torero. At least Krauser admits a lot of guys won't like him. Torero tries to market himself as likable but you can't trust him as far as you can throw him. Even if his teachings are good or whatever, he just reeks of snake oil salesman.
One thing I will say about Bodi that gave him a huge advantage compared to the average guy going out doing day game, is that he was surrounded by these day gamers as he lived in the same building and was friends with them, despite his relatively low level of game. He learned to shut up and blend in and got precious game advice from some of the most experienced guys and would daygame with Krauser as his wing. That's like upping your chances of success by 1000%. He even had fucking Steve Jabba living with him who he could go to for game advice. (Apparently Jabba was the best of all of them by far). So the only disclaimer I'd give to the more positive outcomes in the books is the fact that Bodi could get real time help from some of the most experienced guys in day game at the time, often in the form of a wing, which forum members here don't have unless they want to pay Torero or Krauser $500 an hour or whatever. Even then it's not the organic experience of actually being friends with the guys and gaming as normal.
