Quote: (01-26-2011 12:48 AM)Samseau Wrote:
1. It's extremely likely that today's wife will cheat on today's husband (but not vice versa or else he'll lose everything, including his kids).
2. The husband becomes enslaved to a materialistic bitch with zero sex appeal
3. The children aren't raised in a fashion the husband wants, he's just the tool for the wife while she turns her sons into little beta bitches and her daughters into more whorish users America can't seem to get enough of
1. The way you stated it it is an urban myth. So far, as we discussed it, you only have something to worry about if you're earning a pension from local or state government.
2. The solution is simple: don't marry materialistic bitches. Marry within your means, a working girl from similar social background, who makes close to what you do, is very unlikely to become a materialistic bitch.
3. Responsible people discuss how they'd raise children before having them, not after. Yes, her opinion matters too - if you married a girl who is so dumb that you'd rather ignore her opinion, that's YOUR fault. What fun is it to hang out with idiots? And if you do not agree about the way to raise children with a person you're having sex with, then don't have children with them.
But I can summarize it even shorter: if one has low value, he will suffer in any kind of situation - be it a marriage, employment, sports or anything else. People only value you when they see that you could quit on them any time, and you'll easy find something similar or even better. They must feel that by staying with them you give them a favor or at least it is even, not that they give you a favor by letting you hang around. Note this is about your real value, not displayed one, as you cannot display a fake higher value for a long period.
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- Finding a donor wife to give me children, then hiring a nanny to raise the children while they grow up to 18 (way cheaper than a wife)
I doubt it is even possible legally for someone just to "give you" a child. Even if the child is yours it should go through the court, and if she gives you a child (100% custody), she becomes liable for child support. Also it kinda sucks for a baby to live without mother - and no, a nanny cannot replace a mother unless she practically lives with the baby.
Your "way cheaper" argument is also very strange. Some wives make well over 100K a year. Mine, for example, does. How could a nanny be cheaper?
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- Foreign women with foreign laws favorable to men
Raises a lot of other problems (the most obvious being that the foreign laws also change). I'd also add that US law is much more fair to men comparing to, for example Russian law - as a man, your chance to get ANY custody in Russia during divorce is roughly 5%. And child support payments for the first kid are 25% of your after-tax income.
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- Figuring out a way to escape the shitty laws in America and still get married in the eyes of society: for example, you have a wedding but never sign the state marriage contract so you are still legally "single" on your tax forms (and you back it up by having an official residence listed as some shitty apartment somewhere that you rent).
This is an amusing point. First, IMHO it is incredibly stupid to get married for society. If you don't want it yourself, there is even less reason to do it for someone else, especially for someone as abstract as "society". Do you really give any shit what others might think about you? Second, if you go through wedding ceremony, and live together for some time, in some states you might be considered married in common law (heard about it some time ago), so check with local lawyer before attempting that.
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Also, your non-state sanctioned wife must also take full custody of the kids at birth or give you full custody (so there's no child support laws to rape you).
If one side gets full custody, another side should be liable for child support. I doubt there is a single legal way to avoid child support laws for your own kids if one side gets full custody. However, if $1000 a month is an amount that would financially kill you, you probably shouldn't have kids anyway - properly raising your kid would cost more than that.
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The problem with this solution is finding an American woman who would agree to such terms. If she does agree, however, you know she must be really in love with you
No, your problem is the difference in value. As I stated before, a relationship where one side has significantly more value than another side has much lower chance to survive comparing to a balanced relationship, as the side which brings higher value and therefore "sponsors" another side has incentive to switch to a more balanced relationship. Your terms greatly favor you, so to compensate the value imbalance you should bring something great on a table as well - appealing personality (something she knows other men wouldn't do, like tolerating her bitching or hysteria), major wealth, status, age difference (meaning a chick is ten years older than you) or something like that. If you don't get any of those, your relationship will be imbalanced in her favor, and she'll eventually starts looking for a more balanced relationship.
Until you either fix the initial imbalance, or figure out how'd you compensate for it (and find a girl who'd agree it is fair compensation), your relationship will not work no matter what kind of woman you'll get.