[cardguy]

I've always being curious about stalking.

Is it something that guys do more than women?

And what is the main reason behind it? Is it after a break up - that a guy cannot let go? Or is it more often some loser who develops an obsession and 'oneitis' from afar and starts stalking a chick who is not even aware of him?

Apparently 16% of women have been stalked. And 5% of men.

Yet - it is something I have never heard discussed. Or ever seen discussed on forums such as this.

So - since this is an area I have no knowledge about. I'm wondering if anyone has any experiences with this? Whether from having experienced it themselves or seen it happen to a friend?

I am sure it is a topic which might produce some interesting stories. And I am interested in hearing any to do with this strange area.

[JackDavey]

I don't understand stalking by men at all. I've been "stalked" by two women in my life. The first went on for years and also involved theft of mail, fraud, hiring (by the woman) of private investigators, identity theft (of a sort, before that term became common), and acts of violence. The second lasted a few weeks and was a direct response to me dumping a woman.

While both of these women were damaged, obviously, their behavior really strikes me as an extreme form of how women behave normally--that is, female stalking seems to be different from ordinary female solipsism in quantity, not in quality, if that makes sense.

This is why I have zero tolerance for entitled or narcissistic bullshit--I've seen first hand how, when left unchecked, an entitlement mentality can justify literally any evil. Reflecting on these (and other) events, and observing lesser manifestations of them in the everyday behavior of almost every woman I have ever known, and a shockingly large proportion of men, is what finally got me to choke down the red pill.

[cardguy]

If a woman is stalking you does that mean she is obsessed with you and would do anything to be with you?

Does it mean they are crazy for you in the way an ordinary chick might be for Justin Bieber?

Is that the mentality they have - or is it something else?

[Comte De St. Germain]

[JackDavey]

To me it seemed like a form of possessiveness. In the first case, megalomania and a complete lack of empathy led a woman to view me, (and probably all people) as objects which could be owned. In the second case, it was an exaggerated version of what game-aware men already know and use to their advantage: that women become more attracted to men that they can't easily have.

[cardguy]

Yeah - I am scared of being stalked.

There is a girl that fancies me at work - who was stalking a famous rock star in the UK (from what I heard).

She is a complete troll - and the idea of having somebdoy like that invade your life is my worse nightmare. Particularly since the law doesn't seem to have a good way of handling these situations.

I only mention this in passing. I didn't start the thread because I am worried about being stalked or anything!

[Comte De St. Germain]

Honestly this has my interest piqued would love to hear some opinions on this. I'm not knowledgable on this topic really. I've only been stalked once as a joke by some friends and a couple of chicks.

[Bushido]

(02-23-2014 07:15 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I've always being curious about stalking.

Is it something that guys do more than women?

My friend's ex formed a habit of calling him 100s of times and even waiting outside his apartment so he called the police on her.

When they showed up he joked to the officer, "I bet you don't get many men calling in this kind of complaint!"

The officer's reply?

"Actually Sir, you'd be surprised but we get more complaints from men being stalked by women than the other way around. It's not like you see on TV."

[cardguy]

If it is an ex-partner - it isn't as bad (in my opinion) than if it is a complete stranger who has picked you out and become obsessed.

[vinman]

Women stalk in packs. I've seen it, and had it done to me. There's no way in Hell a man could convince me to go with him to "check on" his girl. But broads will band together to do it. My friends and I refer to it as the Kotex Mafia.

[Comte De St. Germain]

So you're saying I had legitimate stalkers at one point and they weren't fooling around..................

[Walter White]

I believe it is instinctual to a degree, on the part of guys. Don't know about women b/c I'm not one.

I remember this girlfriend I had a LONG time ago. I mean, like 1990. Pre-cell phone era, pre GPS. I didn't like her very much, certainly wasn't in love with her. And then one day I called over to her apt and got no answer. And for some reason this bothered me - I seem to recall her telling me she'd be home that night. And something primal kicked in on me. All of a sudden, I felt the possibility that some other man was taking what was MINE. I called over to her doorman. "Veronica hasn't been home tonight". So I drove over to her apt - maybe 30 min. Spoke to the doorman. Waited around a while. She never showed. Finally went home around 10pm.

Next day she called me "So I heard you were here last night". She was clearly creeped out by it. I made up some B.S. story about being in the shopping mall across the street, so I just stopped by. And she made up some equally silly story about where she was.

The thing of it is, I knew at the time I didn't care that much about her. I just didn't like the idea of someone else taking my snatch. Suppose you left a dollar bill on your desk at work, and somebody took it. Do you really care about $1? Would you miss it much? Not really; if you had lost the dollar bill you'd hardly notice it was gone. But the idea that someone may have taken what was yours is enraging.

Like I said, I think its a primal thing.

[Cincinnatus]

I'm curious as to what point it becomes stalking. Some chick I dated about five years ago still occasionally sends me the occasional flood of texts and late-night phone calls. And we were together less than a year!

[big poppa]

I have no research to back up my claims, but I think men would be more prone to stalking girls that are hardly aware of their existence, due to a massive case of oneitis. Whereas a girl would be more likely to stalk an ex after she gets dumped.

[cardguy]

Something I have noticed.

Women perceive being stalked by a stranger as the man trying to control the woman and intimidate her.

Whereas in many cases - it is probably a sad loner who has developed a severe case of oneitis with a girl he barely knows.

I mention this because women don't ever seem to see it in those terms. And instead see it as some kind of intimidation ploy which the guy gets kicks out of.

Of course not all cases are like this - but I think some are. And since loner weirdos are invisible to women - they can only comprehend the actions by imagining it is a relatively 'normal' guy (ie not-invisible) who is doing it.

Now here is a question. Imagine your dream woman moved next door to you? Doesn't matter who she is - a world famous model or actress, or just a hot girl that ticks ALL of your boxes. How soon before your behaviour could be perceived as stalking?

I guess the internet has made things worse. I mean - we all have girls we had intense crushes on in the past - but who you lose touch with. Well - what if you knew where that girl lived? And what if she lived nearby? I think for alot of guys the curiosity factor would tip them over the edge. I only ever had one major cases of oneitis - and she lives in France. But if I had similar feelings for a girl who lived nearby - I can see how it would become tempting to 'accidentally' be in the neighbourhood on a regular basis.

I am not on Facebook - but a similar thing seems to happen with people keeping tabs on ex-girlfriends and so on.

I remember my best friend once figured out his ex-girlfriend's email password (she pretty much told him it since she was clueless with computers). And about 4-5 years after breaking up with her - he seemed to be in the habit of occasionally reading through her emails. I never knew this for definite - but was pretty confident it was the case (due to a couple of pieces of evidence). For all I know he still does.

Pretty fucked up - but I guess it is hard for alot of people to kill off the curiosity that goes with spying on somebody's life. When it is somebody they once dated. And I think for some people the only thing that stops them from exhibiting stalker-type tendancies is the lack of opportunity more than the lack of desire.

The human heart is a dark dark place.

[soup]

I think there are different reasons for why someone would stalk someone else.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Well if going by the assumption that vinman's point is true then I could shed some light on the female end of the spectrum. Back in my pseudo red pill days I expressed interest in a girl to some of my guy friends whom told her. I realized I could care less and that she was uglier than I thought I just blew her off and ignored her. Next thing I know her and some of her female friends that were also friends with me stalked me at random places. It was never near my house, but outside I frequently saw them together following me. When I asked one of them she said it was a joke. Guess it wasn't now that I really think about it. Think she stalked me for that reason.

[vinman]

(02-23-2014 11:47 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Well if going by the assumption that vinman's point is true then I could shed some light on the female end of the spectrum. Back in my pseudo red pill days I expressed interest in a girl to some of my guy friends whom told her. I realized I could care less and that she was uglier than I thought I just blew her off and ignored her. Next thing I know her and some of her female friends that were also friends with me stalked me at random places. It was never near my house, but outside I frequently saw them together following me. When I asked one of them she said it was a joke. Guess it wasn't now that I really think about it. Think she stalked me for that reason.

I found a crew of girls stalking me by accident. There was no parking in front of my apartment building so I drove around the block looking for a spot. That's when I spotted the car of a girl that i was seeing. She was a half block west of my apartment, and situated so she could see my bedroom. I lived on the third floor. As I drove past her car I saw two more females in her car, so I stopped, reversed, and stopped right next to them. They tried to act as if they were just in the neighborhood watching basketball in the park. That has happened twice that I know of. My mom told me years previous that women always stalk, and I've been stalked more than I know.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Women attract vastly more stalkers from men than the opposite for the sole reason that women also attract vastly more sexual attention from men than the opposite. While the basic drive (a psychopathic impulse to control someone, loneliness, obsession) is always the same, it is always layered on top of existing interest, which is driven by something else.

Think of stalking as seduction gone utterly wrong, where upon being rejected (at any stage) the person doesn't let go and continue their life as usual, but rather develops a megalomaniac tendency to control the other person's life., both as means of revenge and nursing their own emotional pain.

I have zero sympathy for stalkers, especially violent stalkers. It's one of the lowest things one can engage in.