[Onto]

(02-08-2014 05:18 PM)Frontenac Wrote:  

Thanks for the responses, guys.

I thought it was pretty strange to get, and my spidey-sense was going off more and more when I thought about it. She was always more unstable than most girls I've met, and always seemed like the type who'd pull some crazy desperate shit (eg. Saying she's on the pill when she might not be, etc.). I guess we all have to watch out for landmines.

I'm going to ignore, but I may post a follow-up if there's any developments.

Thanks again gentleman. Enjoy your Saturday.

If she pesters you more about it and why you haven't responded, you could say something like, "I didn't reply because I don't really know the specific reasons. My gut said there wasn't a future there so I didn't want to waste your time or mine."

[pro14]

Pof message:
After a few random messages
Her: I've been on this site too long
Me: don't ditch it until we talk some more
Her ok
Her 20 min later....what do you want to know or why did you want to talk to me
Her next day after I didn't respond: ?

so now what's my best play
..hi I figure we'll talk more in person

hi how was your weekend

the things that I want to know come out naturally in conversation

[BromigoMike]

(02-10-2014 08:22 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

Pof message:
After a few random messages
Her: I've been on this site too long
Me: don't ditch it until we talk some more
Her ok
Her 20 min later....what do you want to know or why did you want to talk to me
Her next day after I didn't respond: ?

so now what's my best play
..hi I figure we'll talk more in person

hi how was your weekend

the things that I want to know come out naturally in conversation

you should have closed for her number as soon as she said she's been on the site too long...

[Wahawahwah]

(02-10-2014 08:22 PM)pro14 Wrote:  

Pof message:
After a few random messages
Her: I've been on this site too long
Me: don't ditch it until we talk some more
Her ok
Her 20 min later....what do you want to know or why did you want to talk to me
Her next day after I didn't respond: ?

so now what's my best play
..hi I figure we'll talk more in person

hi how was your weekend

the things that I want to know come out naturally in conversation

"I wanted to find out if you can cook (*insert specific ethnic food)...."

"I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you" (corny, yes. But lightly evade the topic and move on to setting up a meeting).

"do you have a cat?"

"haaiiiiiiii. goood mornings. what is?"

"gimme your number. I'll call."

"yes. what zodiac sign are you?"

[Skotch]

I've come to realize recently that my biggest weakness is text game. Sometimes I'm a champ and others I'm total ballz. Here's an exchange I'm stuck on. She seemed super into me when we met. Real touchy feely, waved to me a bunch as she walked away, said "I don't think you'll really text me," all kinds of good indicators. I wanted to pull her then and there, but she was babysitting a super drunk friend. Now I'm stuck in SMS purgatory. I wish fucking Japanese girls would answer the damn phone.

Here's the exchange (this is all in Japanese, by the way)

Me: Hi, Misaki. Look I'm texting you
Her: Ah! Thanks! Lol. I didn't think it would come lol.
Me: You like Mexican?
Her: I don't actually know... :/ Will you teach me your real name? (I lied the first time I told her)
Me: You mean you forgot, right? ;P
Her: I'm sorry, but it was really unclear at the end! Lol. But I remember the story about your grandfather
Me: Ok... Skotch. I wanna go barhopping this week. You down?
Her: Ok! I'll remember What's bar hopping? Does this mean you're asking me out? Lol
Me: Yes I am. We'll do drinks, tapas, desert, drinks all at different places.
Her: Ok, but... Maybe our free days won't line up. :/ I'm not a student... :|

I donno how to proceed here. This is a pretty good deflection. Any ideas? I've been closing like Mariano Rivera lately, but if a girl sucks me into texting land before I meet her, I can't get to that point...

[Christian McQueen]

You're too eager and seeking her approval by trying to win her.

Cut to the chase:

You: I'm going to XYZ bar on Friday. Join me for a drink.

Her: blah blah blah our schedules might not line up.

You: You're a big girl, I'm sure you can work it out.

The moment you start throwing out texts trying to win her approval you're dead in the water. Girls sense thirst a mile away.

[Christian McQueen]

When she asked the "so this means you're asking me out?" Text, best response would be to ignore and just state what the plan is.

I've noticed asian girls in La pull this a lot. I believe it's for their ego and to tell their friends they were "asked on a date". Regardless it's petty silliness on their part. She can call it what she wants but by agreeing and texting "Yes, I am", you're falling into her Frame.

[Skotch]

Yeah, you're right. I need to maintain frame, sit back, and let everything flow. I think I get in a hurry to get shit over with.

I like your response, but I ended up just picking up the phone. Of course she never answered, but I left a message saying, "I'm not gonna do this scheduling thing over text. It's such a pain. Peace out." She texted me immediately with, "I'm at my boyfriend's house right now, so I can't talk lol." (I guess I should have mentioned that she's Japanese-style engaged. You date someone on the condition that they will marry you one day. Japanese girls use this to lock down rich betas with whom they never have sex, and older women use this as an emergency stop button when they're nearing the wall. You should hear the venom these women spew about their men when they're chatting at cafés and stuff...). I just texted back, "a fun girl would pick up the phone "

[mastauser]

Met a girl last summer on the French beach and she gave me a blowjob at the beach that night, and we had sex several nights over the days following.

I wanted to visit her for sex, but several months later she told me "she met a guy" (november)

Right now, I asked her about life in the city where she moved in

Me: "Nooooo first a boyfriend and than back to *** (jokingly)


She: "He lives in *** anyway and it's complicated"

What would be smooth right now?

[the_ox]

you: "life should not be complicated, life is wonderful. Come here with me and enjoy what life has the best to offer"

[Christian McQueen]

"She: "He lives in *** anyway and it's complicated""

^That's your in. It's Womanese for "I'm still DTF if you have Game and aren't scared away".

Set up plans to meet. Don't address the text, because she just told you in sub-text she's open to fuck.

[JJ Roberts]

What do you guys do with the classic

1.Meet girl
2.Get her number
3.Text to offer to meet for drink
4.Silence

Do you just move on?

[AneroidOcean]

(02-11-2014 02:57 PM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  

What do you guys do with the classic

1.Meet girl
2.Get her number
3.Text to offer to meet for drink
4.Silence

Do you just move on?

Not enough information. The more detail you can provide, the better feedback you'll get.

Generally I give women a second contact, but usually err on the side of calling them.

Generally I also would text her something BEFORE asking her to meet for a drink. You're not trying to alert her anti-slut radar immediately.

[JJ Roberts]

(02-11-2014 04:17 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Not enough information. The more detail you can provide, the better feedback you'll get.

More detail? Ok, my approach style is typically direct so women know that the reason that I am talking to them is because I find them attractive and I want to get to know them better.

This approach style works for me and I even get complimented on it. A mexican girl recently told me I was "valiente" and met me later the same night for a drink.

However a lot of the time they give me their number and when I text them to offer to meet for a drink its met with silence.

What do you then?

My thoughts on this is that a better more effective sequence might go like this :

1.Get number
2.Establish good emotional vibe via text chat for a few days
3.Invite for drink

And I am missing step 2 in my current approach.

So I guess my question is what is a good way to establish a good emotional vibe over text messages?

[eradicator]

(02-11-2014 05:41 PM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  

(02-11-2014 04:17 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Not enough information. The more detail you can provide, the better feedback you'll get.

More detail? Ok, my approach style is typically direct so women know that the reason that I am talking to them is because I find them attractive and I want to get to know them better.

This approach style works for me and I even get complimented on it. A mexican girl recently told me I was "valiente" and met me later the same night for a drink.

However a lot of the time they give me their number and when I text them to offer to meet for a drink its met with silence.

What do you then?

My thoughts on this is that a better more effective sequence might go like this :

1.Get number
2.Establish good emotional vibe via text chat for a few days
3.Invite for drink

And I am missing step 2 in my current approach.

So I guess my question is what is a good way to establish a good emotional vibe over text messages?

This happens so many fucking times(meet a babe either online or from daygame and get her number, exchange a few texts and I offer to meet for drinks or coffee and then get radio silence).

I have some success with "let's try this again. drinks, this evening @ xyz bar @ 8pm" I think a LOT of the time, good looking women are just overwhelmed with so many offers and even if they are genuinely interested, they stop responding or get nervous about meeting up. Break it down nice and simple and they sometimes just bite. Or they are career women that work 60 to 70 hours a week, extremely good looking so they get flooded with offers and don't really give any of the guys a chance because they legit have almost no time to date, so make it easy for them.

[JJ Roberts]

Thinking about it, to lift the pressure about going out on a date, a follow up saying "don't worry, it's not a date. I don't go on dates but I do like hanging out with cool people and ... whatever happens happens. Are you a cool person?"

Or something to that affect.

[Christian McQueen]

^Don't.

It's approval seeking.

The reality is if she's that iffy about going on a 'date', then you're probably wasting your time.

[Christian McQueen]

Part of the possible issue JJ Roberts, is that you may not be making a solid enough connection when you initially get a girl's number.

Can you give me a re-cap of about how long your interactions are and what is said?

[JJ Roberts]

(02-11-2014 07:26 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

Part of the possible issue JJ Roberts, is that you may not be making a solid enough connection when you initially get a girl's number.

Can you give me a re-cap of about how long your interactions are and what is said?

Length of interaction depends on the situation and the girl. A lot of the time its day game and talking to them in the street.

If they don't have anything pressing to do then I will invite them to grab a tea / coffee right there and then.

Usually they are on the way somewhere though so interaction is typically a few mins.

Basically I say I saw you, thought you were cute so I thought I would come and say hi and find out if you are a cool person or not.

Then I ask them about themselves and improvise from there and if they can't stop now I say let meet for a coffee or a beer some other time and ask for their number.

They always give me the right number. I know because I give them a miss call before I leave and get them to put my name is their phone so they know its me when I text them.

In other words I build up as much of a connection as I can given the limited time available to me.

[JJ Roberts]

(02-11-2014 07:24 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  

^Don't.

It's approval seeking.

The reality is if she's that iffy about going on a 'date', then you're probably wasting your time.

It's not approval seeking. The reason I say its not a date is because a date is typically a guy auctioning for the role of next BF in the conventional 2.0 sense of the word.

I ain't interested in that so its the wrong frame for me.

Also I find that girls are more likely to hookup if they know its not a date.

Women when they are on a date know that hooking up leads to having a BF and that involves surrendering their freedom.

[eradicator]

jjroberts, I get what you are saying, however, you can avoid that trap by saying "lets meet up for coffee" instead of "let's meet up for a coffee date.". But just don't add the part about "don't think of it as a date".

hopefully I am explaining good.

[Valhalla]

How does one be interesting over text?

Take the classic "what are you doing"

You answer but then the thread is closed

[DJ-Matt]

OK, so I may have already screwed this up, but I'm trying out POF again. Here's my message exchange:

Quote:

ME: What part of Cali are you from? I spent a lot of time in norcal, east bay...

HER: Southern California - Riverside county, San Diego and Los Angeles

ME: ahhh, well we shouldn't be talking to each other then. it's like the montagues and the capulets all over again N vs S...
what made you leave the paradise of warm SoCal for the freezer of the midwest ?

HER: An ex and I had plans to move to Denver. He receives a great job offer in KCMO so we relocated there to be closer to our goal and to save money. He cheated and I left him. That was many years ago. I stuck around in the area.

ME: Yep, I found out the hard way recently that life can really blow hard, the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes and push forward toward that brass ring.
I assume you have a Wrangler, mine is a 2005. Yours?

HER: Agreed. It's all a continuous learning opportunity.
97 TJ

It's hard to fight these blue pill urges

[eradicator]

(02-13-2014 12:26 PM)DJ-Matt Wrote:  

OK, so I may have already screwed this up, but I'm trying out POF again. Here's my message exchange:

Quote:

ME: What part of Cali are you from? I spent a lot of time in norcal, east bay...

HER: Southern California - Riverside county, San Diego and Los Angeles

ME: ahhh, well we shouldn't be talking to each other then. it's like the montagues and the capulets all over again N vs S...
what made you leave the paradise of warm SoCal for the freezer of the midwest ?

HER: An ex and I had plans to move to Denver. He receives a great job offer in KCMO so we relocated there to be closer to our goal and to save money. He cheated and I left him. That was many years ago. I stuck around in the area.

ME: Yep, I found out the hard way recently that life can really blow hard, the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes and push forward toward that brass ring.
I assume you have a Wrangler, mine is a 2005. Yours?

HER: Agreed. It's all a continuous learning opportunity.
97 TJ

It's hard to fight these blue pill urges

This isn't terrible, but you aren't really moving the conversation along either. The fact that she is still responding is good.

Next you can say "meet me for drinks. How about this evening? My phone is xxx-xxx-xxxx."

[Feo]

(02-13-2014 12:52 AM)Valhalla Wrote:  

How does one be interesting over text?

Take the classic "what are you doing"

You answer but then the thread is closed

"sewing the seeds of chaos"
"washing my feet"
"about to blow up a small office building"
"why do you ask so many questions"
...


@DJMatt. Seems boring man.. try something like "Check this out..lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hR-NXv5Tma0" but I don't banter much on those sites, I just get a number and text asap..idk