Quote: (10-12-2015 07:43 AM)RockHard Wrote:
Funny this thread got bumped. I ran into this last week: http://fivethirtyeight.com/datalab/very-...-partners/
Prepare for a bunch of statistics geekery if you click through, so here's the interesting parts; basically, science agrees with The_e_man's own experiences.
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After dividing respondents into different height groups, the researchers found that every group of men taller than 5 feet 4 inches had the same median number of sex partners: seven. Only men classified as “very short,” or between 5 feet 2 inches and 5 feet 4 inches, had a significantly different sexual history. They reported a median of five sex partners.
...
According to the authors, David Frederick and Brooke Jenkins, the explanation for their findings might be that women have a “minimal threshold” for male height — anyone taller is pretty much an acceptable potential mate and anyone shorter, not so much.
I've been taking a break from these parts, but will make a brief return to comment on this, since it's an area of expertise for me.
It had to be: I started college at 5'1" -- with my growth stunted from massive prescription drugs from a childhood illness. Luckily, I'd grow about 5 more inches.
Or was it lucky? From ages 18-20 I racked up 9 bangs with women from 5'3"-5'9." What I found is that if women like you, they'll say "I don't see you as short." Same as women who swear they won't date a black guy, but when they get seduced by one they're like "I don't see you as black." Black friends have told me they've heard this.
Besides that #9 count, there were at least 15 more I could have slept with, but decided otherwise for reasons that seem ridiculously petty now that I don't have instant access to girls ages 18-22. I've spoken about this before on here. It's now sad to think I rejected totally fine women who were ready and willing because "Ugh! She dresses like it's still the '70s and I don't want to be seen with her" or "Yuck! She had bad breath when we made out." Like I couldn't buy a bottle of Scope for my dorm room? Jeez. (Don't be like this.)
But I digress. Back to the main point: Some of my success was down to being around lots of single women in college. But then I knew guys much taller who never got laid for four years, so it wasn't all the environment.
Here is what I think what I had going for me that other short guys can copy:
1). I had a really good personality and sense of humor. Yes, this is a cliche. And I know some guys in the manosphere say things like "If a sense of humor was important than Carrot Top would be Brad Pitt" but let me explain why this is important.
When we talk to people, we take in more than their looks and personality. We get a vibe or a "visual" of the reality they represent. Everyone wants to hang at the fun beach party; no one wants to hang at the funeral home. You need to be the beach party. People, esp. women, latch onto "vibes" and often interpret "intense and argumentative" as "bitter loser." Save the bitterness for after the bang.
2). I was something of a novelty being so short. This seems counter- intuitive; how could a negative be positive? But women remembered me because I was different. This matters on some psychological level. I had taller friends that were bland and women would ask me over and over what their names were. But they remembered mine. It probably helped that I was cute and well put-together.
3). I always had either a girlfriend or a really good-looking girl I hung around (or two or three). This is a classic game technique of preselection. But it works. It's a good reason to keep girls as friends. Also, it helps if the girls in question are super-hot.
I discovered this in high school my senior year. I've told this story here before: In the final half of the school year, administration discovered I was shy of a health credit, so they put me in a health class that happened to be all freshman girls. 90 percent of them were hot. Each week I'd take a different one to the senior parties and as the weeks passed my rep grew as some sort of "stud" (as we called it back then). I wasn't dating these girls, but no one knew that. All they knew was that wherever I went, I had a a different hottie beside me. This matters.
4). I had tons of attitude and was the most irreverent person around. Self-explanatory. But in my case, I'll explain anyway: I grew up in NYC and went to high school and college in Maryland -- a place I considered a hick backwater. So part of me really was an arrogant SOB who thought I was way ahead of everyone in terms of style, music, art, etc. Wait, what am I saying? I *was* way ahead of everyone with their boring clothes and music! This attitude, obnoxious as it seems now, really worked for me.
5). I had a unique sense of style. My hair was long and I wore a black jacket. I tried to cop a DeeDee Ramone look, which seems silly now, but must have worked. I also have a philosophy that if people see you as "long-haired dude," they sort of don't notice you're "the short guy." It's a distraction. Works best if you play guitar.
I started doing poorly with women when I became less fun and more angry. The pressures of work, adulthood, Serious Issues, and eventually a troubled marriage drained the fun from me.
This is why post-divorce I'm not even close to being as successful as I was at 19. You can't fake being carefree and young, sad to say.
I think if you're short you should watch the movie "Arthur" (the original) and cop a vibe like the actor in that, who was like 5'2." I also used to get compared to Michael J. Fox.
One more thing. My exact height rarely came up. Had I come out and said "I'm 5'1"! when I started college, things might not have been so rosy.
I wonder how I would have done had there been online dating and you had to put down a number. They should make women put down their weight if men have to put down there height. See, there I go being bitter again. This is not what I would have said at 18. I'd have found a clever way around it.