[Deuce Anna Half]

(08-29-2015 12:52 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

OK OK....despite my previous hating I'm coming back to this thread for advice.

Funny situation.

I didn't post about her much but I had a mini-LTR with a girl between April and June. Things ended after we had an argument one night...we still kept in touch but never met, until two weeks ago I tried to booty call her and she said "I don't want to hang out again. Sorry." I said "OK cool" and deleted her number.

She texted me a few days ago and said she wants to hang out but under one condition: that I come over during the day while her roommates are working and completely dominate her. Do whatever I want. Push her limits. Only rules were that she gets a safe word and I have to wear a condom.

Obviously I'm going to do it, but I want to use this as an opportunity to expand my arsenal. I've got the gameset, now I need the tools.

Items I'd like to buy:

• Collar
• Leash
• Butt plug
• Strong leather blindfold
• Restraints (so I can tie her feet without having to learn some BS knot?)
• Whip
  

So my questions for you pervs:

1. Best place to buy this stuff?
2. Do you tie girls up? If so what is the best or easiest way to do it?

If it's a one time deal and you're not planning on going farther with it, you can get all that shit off Amazon for pretty cheap. If your nearest mall has a Spencer's Gifts in it you can get the collar, leash, and restraints (and maybe the whip, not 100% on that). Go small with the butt plug unless you're fucking her in the ass regularly, and even then, buy lube anyway.

As far as tying girls up, depends on a few things; what you want to tie them up with, what you want to tie them to, and what you want to do with them while they're tied.

If you're just trying to tie her up to the headboard in a static position to fuck her missionary, you can use rope, a necktie, a handkerchief, pretty much anything, and an overhand knot should do you fine. If you want to restrain her arms but still leave the rest of her body free, or tie her arms to her legs, or tie her legs, or basically anything other than tying her up to fuck her in one position, rope is your best bet.

Learn the single and double column ties (the youtube tutorials are only a couple minutes long and you can practice on yourself first). Those 2 knots are pretty much all you need for simple restraining purposes. The single column is more for tying her to different things but still allowing for a little freedom of motion, double is for tying her to herself or keeping things immobilized completely.

[MrXY]

Are you in a decent sized city with a sex shop? The better ones have reasonable quality and selection of equipment.

If not, try stockroom.com and extremerestraints.com-they have excellent stuff.

I would also get a paddle- a light wooden or plastic one is good for beginners. Also a ball gag.

I would get a mini flogger to used on her tits and pussy and inner thighs-they work really well. Big floggers are expensive and take practice to use well. A riding crop is good for precise work. Don't use a cane-that's for serious pain sluts only

I would start with leather cuffs, they are way quicker and easier than rope.Make sure they have rings on them so you can attach them to things. Use an ordinary snap link to connect them together to bind her hands in front or back. Have some rope so you can attach the rings to furniture.


For her feet you can get another set of cuffs or just use a bit of rope.

[DonnyGately]

(08-29-2015 03:41 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Are you in a decent sized city with a sex shop? The better ones have reasonable quality and selection of equipment.

If not, try stockroom.com and extremerestraints.com-they have excellent stuff.

I would also get a paddle- a light wooden or plastic one is good for beginners. Also a ball gag.

I would get a mini flogger to used on her tits and pussy and inner thighs-they work really well. Big floggers are expensive and take practice to use well. A riding crop is good for precise work. Don't use a cane-that's for serious pain sluts only

I would start with leather cuffs, they are way quicker and easier than rope.Make sure they have rings on them so you can attach them to things. Use an ordinary snap link to connect them together to bind her hands in front or back. Have some rope so you can attach the rings to furniture.

for her feet you can get another set of cuffs or just use a bit of rope.

Agree with all of the above. Leather bondage cuffs are way easier and scares them less than rope generally speaking.

Also suggest O-ring gag, hogtie, maybe get some candle wax if you're looking for suggestions.

Of course equipment is the smaller part of the domination. Floggers and paddles are great, but spanking the shit out of her with your hand works too. It's more about you being dominant.

More important than the safe word is establishing what she thinks her limits are beforehand. There's no point in starting something she already knows/thinks she can't do. Basically, have some sort of plan on how you're going to work this and then escalate each step of the way. If she hates being slapped in the face, or forced to crawl on the floor, or whatever find out now so it doesn't break the mood later.

[redbeard]

OK. I did some amazon purchasing and ended up going with two sets of handcuffs....cheaper and easier than restraints or knots. I plan on going to home depot and getting some chains so i can connect the together, there are a lot of possibilities.

I also bought a medium sized dog collar. At $8 it was cheaper than any serious leather piece I saw online and will probably work better. My only question is does anyone have experience using a legit dog collar on their bitch? I think the element of animality will help.

Other than that it's just duct tape for her mouth and candles for her nipples. Any other suggestions?

[Druber]

Just purchased some items: bar spreader (both hands/feet collars), flogger, crop, blindfold.

Good thread, and something I've always wanted to try out.

[Cr33pin]

[Belgrano]

^

[MikeS]

I'm new to this aside from occasional handcuffs, improvised wrist ties and sex toys belonging to the girls. What has been the experience of guys here with girls reactions regarding hygiene when you introduce a small collection of things (obviously thoroughly washed and cleaned) like ball gags, butt plugs and other items most likely to come in constant, direct contact with various bodily fluids?

Going shopping for "equipment" for use with a long term partner is one thing, but is expecting a new partner (again, strictly speaking about hygiene matters here) to use items that she suspects or knows have been used by previous partners, an likely stumbling stone that's can put a damper on or an end to the mood?

[Dino]

(09-28-2015 05:27 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

I'm new to this aside from occasional handcuffs, improvised wrist ties and sex toys belonging to the girls. What has been the experience of guys here with girls reactions regarding hygiene when you introduce a small collection of things (obviously thoroughly washed and cleaned) like ball gags, butt plugs and other items most likely to come in constant, direct contact with various bodily fluids?

Going shopping for "equipment" for use with a long term partner is one thing, but is expecting a new partner (again, strictly speaking about hygiene matters here) to use items that she suspects or knows have been used by previous partners, an likely stumbling stone that's can put a damper on or an end to the mood?

That's a great point. You won't get much of a complaint from a crack whore but that is not the type of girl I enjoy either. I suggest you keep these things looking in like new condition and simply tell the girl I went shopping for you yesterday/today and she will be none the wiser. If these things start to show any sort of wear just replace them. If this activity becomes a regular thing you could always keep a backup on hand in case girl A destroys the ball gag on Monday and girl B loves it and is scheduled for a Tuesday. This is a good problem to have so plan accordingly.

[DonnyGately]

I have multiple ball gags. Generally I buy a new one for each girl but not always.

[Dino]

(10-01-2015 08:10 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

I have multiple ball gags. Generally I buy a new one for each girl but not always.

Maybe we should sharpy their names on these things and hang them on a tie rack in the closet to avoid confusion. Funny thing is some of these bitches would see that as a sweet gesture.

[MrXY]

Anything that is intrusive-gags,butt plugs, etc I buy new for each girl and let her see me take it out of the package, if not have her go with me to buy it. Last weekend I was driving around with a girl I've been tying up and spanking and I stopped at a sex store and got her a gag and anal toy. I've noticed girls get surprisingly turned on just seeing sex toys on display; she mentioned she was getting wet just looking at the dildos.

I want a girl to feel comfortable about hygiene. Of course, paddles, whips, cuffs I just use the same ones for all girls.

[olive]

hi all, first time poster here.

(09-28-2015 05:27 PM)MikeS Wrote:  

<...>
Going shopping for "equipment" for use with a long term partner is one thing, but is expecting a new partner (again, strictly speaking about hygiene matters here) to use items that she suspects or knows have been used by previous partners, an likely stumbling stone that's can put a damper on or an end to the mood?

Revealing a hidden Christian Grey room/cabinet too early is a potential shock and night killer on to itself. Assuming you calibrated it well, if you're going for the educated/responsible/not-fully-intoxicated/self-respecting type, hygiene mood kill can still happen more often than not.

(10-02-2015 12:08 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Anything that is intrusive-gags,butt plugs, etc I buy new for each girl and let her see me take it out of the package, if not have her go with me to buy it.
<...>
I want a girl to feel comfortable about hygiene. Of course, paddles, whips, cuffs I just use the same ones for all girls.

Mr XY is on point here. Sub-dependant but in some cases psychological impact could actually be more important than actual hygiene level of the object.
Sexshop shopping turn on is a great idea but again requires calibrating.
Have had cases of insane instant-turn-on (younger sub) to the range of "no way!!! responses (mother of teenage kid, living in the same city with the sexshop).
Potential ways to deal is having a backup plan: brand new (or re-packaged, if you're cheap) items at your place so you can go ahead with the kink in either case.
Depending on your logistic arrangements, online sexshopping together could also be an option - if you go with this, might want to leave sub alone with 'shopping basket' so that sub can pick items for the both of you - things sub is ready to experiment with. You may not need this 'trick', depending on your connection and subs shyness level.

With regards to hygiene my view is slightly different than quoted post - paddle/whip/cuff section specifically.
Intrusiveness of an object is the obvious go-to criteria however any object that touches bare skin can potentially cause trauma, reach exposed blood and therefore require decontamination. Even with gagballs/horsebite due to dental bleeding risk.
You can go with simple disinfection (leather whips, gagballs, ...) or sterilization (medical needles, wartenberg,spiked bits, ...).
Failure to comply with this best practice can result in unhappy times (and in an *extreme/worst case* scenario; even legal exposure e.g. HIV).

Wish you fun.

[DonnyGately]

I have multiple sets of cuffs because the fur/leather will retain another women's scent such as perfume or etc.
Collars and gags are cheap too.

[Latinopan]

BDSM can be good if you know what you are doing, I suggest you research before you try something:

-"Romantic"/ erotic novel, harlequin, there is a reason women write them and read them, look for pattern, fallow them, I will give you one, words like "overpowered”, “overwhelmed” and “powerless" are used often.

-Get fit and do cardio, practicing BDSM is very exhausting.

-Tumblr has a big BDSM community, one of the few good things from that site.


You need to learn how to keep frame in and outside the room, many guys wanting to be into BDSM thinking they can just dress black and give a few spanking and women will fallow, there is a reason many Doms men are over 40 years old, developing a good strong frame Dom persona is not something you can do over the weekend.

There are exception to the rule, around online BDSM forum you can find people admitting feeling Sub and Dom since they were kids, Dom men saying how they used to tight up their sisters Barbies and other dolls, while Sub women saying how they always wanted to play thief when playing cops, and liking being arrested pinned to the ground/wall.

Sub woman online

Quote:

I don't get off on being submissive. I get off on seeing my boyfriend dominant.

You need make sure when spanking:




-----------------------------

The good thing about BDSM is that you can build a hard harem if you know how to perform, there are many cases of Sub women that are very happy with it, even married one, I have read cases of women getting to live with marriage couples where they become the second Sub. A good example is William Moulton Marston who created "Wonder Woman" has his girlfriend and wife living all 3 in the same house, and yeah, the guy himself was into BDSM, this is why WW has has a strong BDSM theme on it:





Here are the wife and the girlfriend

Here is the girlfriend taking a poligrafo sitting on the right, as you can see her face is just like the first WW.

Olive was the inspiration for Wonder Women, Marston's work with the development of poligrafo was the reason WW used a "truth lasso" that forces people to tell the true even Wonder Woman herself, and the the bracelets are a form of submission especially to a male.

Quote:

They were an original creation by William Moulton Marston as an allegory for his philosophy on loving submission and the emotional control associated with it.

Quote:

In Sensation Comics #4 it was revealed that Amazons temporarily lost their super strength if a male welded chains to their bracelets together. Their strength remained unaffected if they were chained by females (Sensation Comics #10). They would regain their strength if their bracelets were unchained. In later stories Amazons lost their strength if males simply bound their wrists, rather than their bracelets, with chains or other forms of welding. In Comic Cavalcade #14, the bracelets were revealed to balance Amazon strength with loving submission to the positive aims of civilization.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonder_Woman's_bracelets



You think is conincidence they look just like BDSM bracelets and the pose WW makes is very submissive with close wrists?





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And here is the most informative pornhub video ever, blow her brain out with as many orgasm as possible, the thread is already title NSFW but I am gonna say it anyway.
NSFW link
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?vi...1192814134

I also suggest to attend BDSM events, many cities tend to have events and parties for this, you can find many clubs too.

[InsertNameHere]

   

In addition to some of the other stuff discussed above, I highly recommend adding one of these to your toolkit. It's called a Wartenberg wheel, you can find them for cheap on Amazon.

It's originally a medical device used to detect nerve sensitivity, but it also has the effect of increasing sensitivity of the area you're using it on - especially if the girl is blindfolded, the sensory deprivation increases focus on physical sensation. If she's tied, being totally at your whim while you wield what looks like a torture device increases her sense of vulnerability and being possessed.

It's best to use it teasingly by alternating pressure, location, and speed. A light touch causes a kind of tingling, more pressure can actually hurt - but despite the appearance, you won't break skin. Dragging it slowly and lightly then suddenly faster and harder will make them gasp and shiver. I've found it's especially good for use on breasts, the lower back, her inner thighs and even outer labia.

[Easy_C]

If you're going to be into BDSM, it's generally adviseable that you should be getting your women from those circles and have your online accounts set up to take advantage of that.

A lot of women won't care, and you'd be amazed how many of them will be interested simply because they're curious about BDSM and getting with someone who is an active dom in the community offers them an exciting, exotic experience.

[olive]

(11-15-2015 12:08 PM)Easy_C Wrote:  

If you're going to be into BDSM, it's generally adviseable that you should be getting your women from those circles and have your online accounts set up to take advantage of that.

A lot of women won't care, and you'd be amazed how many of them will be interested simply because they're curious about BDSM and getting with someone who is an active dom in the community offers them an exciting, exotic experience.

I guess it depends on what you want - if you want to play an hour with a random person possibly never see them again (or see them once a month) then yes go with the circle by all means.

Otherwise I would suggest that you don't look for a sub partner but instead look for a partner (this does not mean live-in or LTR). Once you have a compatible partner communicate your desires and see where it takes you. To avoid waste of invesment start communicating early e.g.: don't bring out the spiked horsebit first night but perhaps start with candles and pink fluffy handcuffs lol

In my experience the best BDSM journeys always happen with subs who actually did not have a solid plan "to become a BDSM sub". Come to think of it, it does make sense in a way as it's an unexpected (wonderful) journey that's nothing like she experienced before. I am not completely against circles though. You can get a nice match or two from munches/dungeons but it does have a more business transaction-like air to it - at least for me.

I would also suggest investing 15 minutes to this page http://pervocracy.blogspot.co.uk/2011/04...rsion.html
Final note, if you make it to a munch try and not laugh to their face when somebody asks you to call them something like SirSpankAHellLot - you get to pick your own name too

[Easy_C]

Wouldn't work that way with a random. BDSM circles tend to be rather tight knit. It's almost like biker clubs: If you need to ask how to be a part of it, then you have no business being part of it.

Your best bet is to screen for a chick who would be into that kind of thing then start getting her involved.

[Latinopan]

After reading more about Wonder Woman and her BDSM, I have a new goal, get a girl to dress up like herand go full Dom on her.

[ColSpanker]

Olive:
I worked the door at a BDSM club years ago. Jesus H Fucking Christ you would not believe the level of assholery from guys there who called themselves "Master" This and "Sir" That. Some of these people had egos so big they couldn't fit through the door. I had to go in the corner and laugh when a five-foot-nothing man expected to be taken seriously by his barbarian title.

[Lizard King]

I saw this on fetlife.com but I think it's from a porno http://www.intporn.com/forums/19590786-p...450a22190c (NSFW)

[Latinopan]

(11-16-2015 08:03 AM)ColSpanker Wrote:  

Olive:
I worked the door at a BDSM club years ago. Jesus H Fucking Christ you would not believe the level of assholery from guys there who called themselves "Master" This and "Sir" That. Some of these people had egos so big they couldn't fit through the door. I had to go in the corner and laugh when a five-foot-nothing man expected to be taken seriously by his barbarian title.

If is getting him laid and the woman sees him as her Dom, the size is quite irrelevant, lots of people in this same forum have witness many tall guys being completely pussies to their girlfriends and wives. That is still better than the guy that spend the night fapping to women on the computer screen he never have.

(11-16-2015 08:53 AM)Lizard King Wrote:  

I saw this on fetlife.com but I think it's from a porno http://www.intporn.com/forums/19590786-p...450a22190c (NSFW)

A classic from Linda Carter VS Gargantua



Story time:
I had a coworker who was banging a girl in the military, I gave him the idea to fuck her with the uniform on (all uniform on but the pants and underwear), I gave him the idea to tell her to wear heels instead of boots, and keep the shirt open with her tits outs, and order her to call him sir while spanking her, he told me he would do it the next time he sees her, he really liked the idea and kept laughing when I said it, time passes, a week later he told me he fucked her like I said, he told me the girl really transformed after that, she has started to actually treating him like a superior officer (literally).

He ended everything months after that, she was a smoker, and he could not handle her smell to cigarette.

[MrXY]

I have been involved in a BDSM "scene" in the past, but now prefer to get my girls "in the wild" so to speak. It's so much more interesting and to see a girl open up to new experiences and become so excited at situations and sensations that completely novel and wonderful to her. It's fun to explore with her and test her limits.

Most men would be shocked how many women are intrigued by BDSM and it's often the women you wouldn't suspect. 50 Shades sold 30 million copies for a reason.

An example: a couple of weeks ago I banged a girl for the first time; a well spoken , well dressed corporate type who comes from a fairly wealthy family. Comes across as quite conservative,and in fact it took me several dates to get her into bed. When I finally did, I used some moderately dominant moves; pinning her, manhandling, dragging her by the ankles, hair pulling, and ordering her into positions, but nothing really extreme at all.

When we were done and cuddling, she smiled at me and said, " Wow you were kind of rough."

"Not at all," I said,"I actually took it easy on you because I wasn't sure you could handle me being really rough."

"Oh?, What would you have done if you wanted to be rough?"

"Slapped you, choked you, tied you up."

Her eyes got big, and I briefly demonstrated how I would choke her without injuring her, then changed the subject.

Later that evening and the next morning, she kept coming out with statements apropos of nothing in the ongoing conversation.......

"I really liked how you controlled me when we were having sex."

"I'm open to trying new things."

"You can teach me things ."

"You know, you can tie me up if you want."

Just the bit of manhandling I had given her, followed by my holding frame, being completely unapologetic about it, and acting as if it was the most natural thing (which it is) was all it took to flip the switch of submission in her mind. Now we can have fun playtimes together.

[JackMurphy]

I've always enjoyed turning out vanilla chicks, rather than going deep with an established sub.

A vanilla girl at least retains some veneer of "good girl." the deep BDSM chicks have none of that.