[jariel]

Quote:

The hotel we stayed in had a huge, two-person shower, and we jumped in it immediately after the reception. We started to fool around until my husband began to look extremely freaked out. Apparently, my fake eyelashes were falling off, and he had no clue that I had been wearing them. One strip was on my cheek, and the other was hanging off my eye. Let's just say, it kind of killed the mood.

---------------------

I'd gotten so tipsy at my wedding that when we got home, my new husband had to help me open the back of my dress. In the middle of him unhooking the thing, I looked at him, smiled, reached up, and pulled out a pile of "hair" and handed it to him. I then proceeded to wander into the living room and pass out on the sofa. He had no idea the hair was my extensions and was completely freaked out.

----------------------

During the reception, our guests actually shooed us into the elevator and told us to "get at it. " We hadn't had time to eat at the reception and were STARVING, so instead we went upstairs to our room, grabbed a bite, mussed our hair, and watched an episode of MythBusters on TV.

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/really-h...00339.html

[presidentcarter]

"We had an evening garden wedding that happened to fall on the day of a 75-year record high...a whopping 106 degrees. We were exhausted and soaked when we finally got back to the honeymoon suite. I went to the bathroom to peel myself out of the drenched wedding dress, take a shower, and change. I finally walk out -- perfect hair, stellar makeup, and some sexy lingerie -- only to find my husband sprawled out on the bed, passed out, and snoring. Bravo TV and I spent one salacious evening together."

[A War You Cannot Win]

Truly worth giving up financial independence for.

[Menace]

And then you sort through all your presents. But don't think your new wife is going to use your brand new KitchenAid mixer for anything, this ain't 1955 sweetheart.

Then it will be time to buy a house you can't afford to fill it with lots of nice furniture. You can spend weekends shopping at Crate&Barrel, William Sonoma, and Restoration Hardware. Get all the wicker shit you can handle at Pier 1.

Hang with your other married friends and do boring shit. Go out to eat!! OMG it is so much fun, hey you guys, where did you get those cute curtains??

Hang out with her family! Hang out with your family. Figure out the 10% of them that you can stand; avoid the other 90%.

Get pregnant. Read pre-pregancy books. Accompany her to ob/gyn appointments. Look for cribs and a ton of other expensive baby shit. Do all the pre-natal breathing classes that she will never fucking use.

Baby born. Mark calendar as the end of your sex life. Baby, baby, baby.

Death of your soul. But don't worry, the body will persist for another 30-40 years. Enjoy!

[presidentcarter]

I penned a beta's perspective a la Compliment and Cuddle:

The wedding was really a good time. I saw lots of old friends, and even though my wife wouldn't let them throw me a real bachelor party (I told her they wanted to take me to a strip club and she almost threw her phone at me!), I really enjoyed our golf weekend instead. My family, friends, and everyone at work has started treating me differently - better! - since getting married as well. It's like I've achieved something significant in life, entered the second stage of life, and have REALLY become the man I was meant to be.

We had our honeymoon on a nice beach in Florida. We were going to go to Italy, but since we'll be putting a down payment on our new house soon, we needed to save some money. On our wedding we were both so tired that the typical "wedding night fireworks" didn't occur, but we MORE than made up for it and had sex three times (!) that week while on honeymoon. Once, as we were walking back from the beach, I tried to get frisky with my new wife and pulled her into the bushes near the boardwalk. After making out and getting my dick hard, she stopped abruptly with a smirk on her face and reminded me that she's a lady and only makes love in a proper bed. She immediately walked back to the boardwalk where people were walking and I had to hold my beach towel over my boner as I rushed to catch up with her. So embarrassing! I'll have to remember that and not make that mistake again in the future...I'd hate her to think she married a neanderthal!

[Prosal]

Received last year an email from a russian GF (that I initially met through a dating site) with who I really meshed well and who just got married - I guess with a local oligarch, she was really an upper-class 9+. It's a real email, I didn't changed a word. What is funny is that she still offers to meet again in SPb (we both know for what reason, and it's not to visit the Hermitage Museum) ...but no way I will piss on an oligarch shoes, on his own turf.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi P,
Well, well well... I didn`t mistake in you.... I knew that....I was right when i was thinking that you are special, that you really FEEL me, feel my thoughts, my emotions, my plans...
Yes, you are right, I was thinking hundred times to delete my profile from LL, and you know, " something" stopped me.... This "something"" is a very strange feeling that i don`t want to loose you, to loose forever .... whatever happened in our lifes. You took a peace of my heart & even if my life changed its not easy to forget what you mean to me, what had happened with us during those nights in Paris....
I am writing & deleting, writing & deleting (as usual)... And its not my first time to begin this kind of letter.. So many times i started an email & after some sentences just closed the PC with the thoughts "I`ll do it later... Not this time"
You know, i send you a pic (wedding picture included) & you`ll understand all...
By the way: when you will be here in SPb i will find time to see you (cant promise to be your dance partner in clubs, cause i stopped going there due to the jealousy of my husband) but i will show you some interesting places for sure )
P, my new email is : *****@inbox.ru
Sorry for not giving you my new mobile (its better for our safety) ))
Pls, stay in contact. Or i will come to search you in Paris.
I miss you.
With lot of love....
A
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[samsamsam]

Prosal, with all the respect in the world, you are some fucking Casanova. Your posts are always pretty informative and you seem to have a lot of life experiences. Just wanted to say thanks.

Ya don't fuck with oligarch's would miss your contributions...lol.

[Vitriol]

(05-21-2013 03:45 PM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

On our wedding we were both so tired that the typical "wedding night fireworks" didn't occur, but we MORE than made up for it and had sex three times (!) that week while on honeymoon.

Inside the mind of a married man - he's bragging about banging HIS WIFE three times in a week, some guys on this forum are probably pulling three different girls a week for the price of some fucking happy hour beers.

The original Yahoo article was probably targeted at women, but it makes great anti-marriage propaganda for men.

[thegmanifesto]

(05-21-2013 05:30 PM)Vitriol Wrote:  

(05-21-2013 03:45 PM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

On our wedding we were both so tired that the typical "wedding night fireworks" didn't occur, but we MORE than made up for it and had sex three times (!) that week while on honeymoon.

Inside the mind of a married man - he's bragging about banging HIS WIFE three times in a week, some guys on this forum are probably pulling three different girls a week for the price of some fucking happy hour beers.

Hell, I probably banged his wife three times that week.

[TheBlackNarwhal]

Yahoo just writes some shit up sometimes just to write it.

[gqntexas]

You mean you guys have never read the old "Married men, post here if you hate your life" Thread.. It wasn't on this forum, it was actually on a forum from a few years ago, but someone made an archive of it.. Some of the best you will ever read about modern marriage from real married guys

http://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2009/07/2...ur-life-2/

[CaP7]

(05-21-2013 03:27 PM)Menace Wrote:  

And then you sort through all your presents. But don't think your new wife is going to use your brand new KitchenAid mixer for anything, this ain't 1955 sweetheart.

Then it will be time to buy a house you can't afford to fill it with lots of nice furniture. You can spend weekends shopping at Crate&Barrel, William Sonoma, and Restoration Hardware. Get all the wicker shit you can handle at Pier 1.

Hang with your other married friends and do boring shit. Go out to eat!! OMG it is so much fun, hey you guys, where did you get those cute curtains??

Hang out with her family! Hang out with your family. Figure out the 10% of them that you can stand; avoid the other 90%.

Get pregnant. Read pre-pregancy books. Accompany her to ob/gyn appointments. Look for cribs and a ton of other expensive baby shit. Do all the pre-natal breathing classes that she will never fucking use.

Baby born. Mark calendar as the end of your sex life. Baby, baby, baby.

Death of your soul. But don't worry, the body will persist for another 30-40 years. Enjoy!

This is hilarious! Pretty much what I hear/see from all of my friends. Still looking for the married man that I would want to trade places with...

[LooTa]

On the plus side, you can get as smashed as you like and make a complete cunt of yourself, but everyone knows it's your wedding so they won't do a damn thing about it.

[Nonpareil]

Here I wait, with my three best friends...well okay, my two best friends and my bride's gay BFF who she informed me is so swept up in the thing (being gay and all) that he just has to be a part of it somehow, when the door opens and she walks in. A solitary tear forms in my eye, but I don't know if it's because I've never seen her look so beautiful, or I will never again see her look so beautiful...

Even though I haven't been to church since I was seven and she only goes on Christmas, here we are; me, her, our friends and all of our families, rammed into this tiny church. It's mid-June, so it's hot as balls in here, I'm sweating.

I catch in my peripherals the exit as the priest is reading the rites...

I should do it, I should do it, I should do it...


Ah, the reception, where we all go to have a good time, even though I had to pay out of pocket for an open bar; nice to know my new father in law is a tightwad. Me and my bride and my family are seated at a table where EVERYONE is watching us, like we're animals at the zoo.

I see my good friend, looking mad sharp in a suit, talking to one of the bridesmaids. He's always happy, and why wouldn't he be? He doesn't make a lot of money, but he's always getting girls...What a life, sex without a relationship.

I used to have that...I can still, fuck it, just go...

I know that after this day, I'll be limited to seeing him maybe once or twice a year.

Everyone gives speeches; my Best Man actually writes an original speech and delivers it with wit and eloquence, my parents cry. Her Maid of Honor rips off a quote from some movie that they love. The DJ starts the song for the first dance.

In my peripherals I glance at the door...

I should do it, I should do it, I should do it...

I want more than anything to go to the open bar and get a drink just to get away from everyone.

Throughout the night everyone is drinking, smoking and having a good time, but I have to maintain at least some coherence and sobriety.

Everyone comes up to my bride to tell her she's beautiful and how lucky I am. Lucky? Bitch please, you have any idea how much heavy lifting I had to do to get this girl? You know how much of it I have to do in the relationship? She is getting 99% of the attention, and I am the 1%. I'm mostly relegated to making the same idle conversation over and over again with relatives and strangers.


Finally it's over and we're off. We're spending the night in her parents' place before we fly out to Mexico for the honeymoon. I wanted to go to Hawaii, she wanted to go to Mexico, guess who won that one?

At least now that we're married, her parents let me fuck her in their house...even though we did it anyways when we were dating and it was hotter.

I wake up in the middle of the night to go fetch a glass of water. In the kitchen, I glance at the front door...

Oh...fuck...

[Samseau]

(05-21-2013 04:22 PM)Prosal Wrote:  

Received last year an email from a russian GF (that I initially met through a dating site) with who I really meshed well and who just got married - I guess with a local oligarch, she was really an upper-class 9+. It's a real email, I didn't changed a word. What is funny is that she still offers to meet again in SPb (we both know for what reason, and it's not to visit the Hermitage Museum) ...but no way I will piss on an oligarch shoes, on his own turf.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi P,
Well, well well... I didn`t mistake in you.... I knew that....I was right when i was thinking that you are special, that you really FEEL me, feel my thoughts, my emotions, my plans...
Yes, you are right, I was thinking hundred times to delete my profile from LL, and you know, " something" stopped me.... This "something"" is a very strange feeling that i don`t want to loose you, to loose forever .... whatever happened in our lifes. You took a peace of my heart & even if my life changed its not easy to forget what you mean to me, what had happened with us during those nights in Paris....
I am writing & deleting, writing & deleting (as usual)... And its not my first time to begin this kind of letter.. So many times i started an email & after some sentences just closed the PC with the thoughts "I`ll do it later... Not this time"
You know, i send you a pic (wedding picture included) & you`ll understand all...
By the way: when you will be here in SPb i will find time to see you (cant promise to be your dance partner in clubs, cause i stopped going there due to the jealousy of my husband) but i will show you some interesting places for sure )
P, my new email is : *****@inbox.ru
Sorry for not giving you my new mobile (its better for our safety) ))
Pls, stay in contact. Or i will come to search you in Paris.
I miss you.
With lot of love....
A
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Make a fake email. Tell her to visit you in Paris sometime. Take her shopping on the Champs Elysee and see if you can get her to buy you some gifts. Just say stuff like, "Wow, I really like those jeans/suit/tie/wallet/whatever." See if she loves you so much she buys. She has access to some incredible wealth. This could be your sugar momma ticket for sure.

But yeah, never visit her in SPb. That's a death wish.

[WanderingSoul]

If you've been with a girl long enough to marry her, then you've been with her too long to want to fuck her.

[K-man]

Hell, on my wedding night my wife tried to pull that "I'm tired" shit. I was tired too, and pretty wasted but I said "honey, get down here and hold your dress up while I finish my business" and banged her doggy style. I wanted to live my moment like out one of those bride porn movies - her with the white shoes, stockings, garters, panties, dress, veil, the whole nine yards. It was pretty much like that, and I think she enjoyed it, too.