[Downunder]

Just was wondering if anyone is going thru depression or has recovered from it?

Would like to hear anyone`s experiences, how they coped with it and dealt with it etc....

Might just help out some others who could be suffering from it

Thanks in advance

[Dexter Morgan]

Whew. Where to start. Went through several depressions when younger. The last one, ten years ago. Don't seem to be prone to it, anymore. But when you are going through it, its a killer. I guess I have a few observations, FWIW:

1) Depression isn't "sadness". If your buddy is depressed, don't try to talk him out of it, or shame him out of it ("Dude, we all have some down days, but you just wake up feeling fine the next day!"). That is NOT depression. That is just normal sadness or moodiness. That's like a small spring rain shower that lasts an hour. Depression is more like a monsoon that lasts three months.
2) My depressions were always situational - at first! Girl dumps you, having a tough time at work, my divorce. But then, you get over the event - and yet the depression is still there! It's like your brain chemistry changed (it probably did).
3) Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you broke your arm, you'd go to a doctor. So why not if your brain chemistry is off?
4) That said, don't expect much will help. I tried anti-depressants; didn't have a great effect. Pharma companies like to pretend they really understand depression and brain chemistry - they don't yet. I tried talking to a therapist. That helped, but only because its good to connect with other human beings. Really, there is no magic bullet and all you can do is hang on until it passes.
5) With each of my depressions, I just woke up one day, and I felt fine! It's like my brain chemistry got back to normal. BUT, it took several months, and during that time I didn't care if I lived or died.
6) Depression and anxiety are not different diseases - they are the same disease manifesting itself in different ways. Insomnia is a MAJOR symptom of depression.
7) Flexibility is key in avoiding depression. Things that are flexible bend, but don't break. But things that are very, very rigid don't bend...and sometimes they break. They are BRITTLE. You're mind can be that way. Try to be a little more flexible in your world views, including your view of yourself, and you'll be less prone to depression.
8) I exited each depression stronger than the first one. I had 3 major depressions between 19 and 29, but none since. I am much stronger as a result of going through this.

Don't be embarrassed about your depression. Churchill was prone to depression (his "black dog", he called it). So was Lincoln. You just need to wait it out, until it passes. Just like the flu. And as I said, you'll be stronger after. As Hemingway said in A Farewell to Arms, "The world breaks everyone, but afterwards many are strong at the broken places".

[Capitán Peligroso]

(05-11-2013 12:25 AM)Downunder Wrote:  

Just was wondering if anyone is going thru depression or has recovered from it?

Would like to hear anyone`s experiences, how they coped with it and dealt with it etc....

Might just help out some others who could be suffering from it

Thanks in advance

Let me ask you this: are you depressed for a particular reason, or does it seem like you're depressed for no reason at all?

[Downunder]

(05-11-2013 01:09 AM)Capitán Peligroso Wrote:  

(05-11-2013 12:25 AM)Downunder Wrote:  

Just was wondering if anyone is going thru depression or has recovered from it?

Would like to hear anyone`s experiences, how they coped with it and dealt with it etc....

Might just help out some others who could be suffering from it

Thanks in advance

Let me ask you this: are you depressed for a particular reason, or does it seem like you're depressed for no reason at all?

Good question.

Feel like i`ve been having more bad days than good in terms of how i feel. Some days everything feels like crap where as other days feel ok and good.

Not too sure if i`m just reading too much into it or i actually have some problems and issues that are building inside of me.
I just wanted to get some responses from others to see if i actually can relate to it and take it from there.

[Dexter Morgan]

If you can't see an end to your problems, you are depressed. If you don't care if you get hit by a bus, you are depressed. If you don't feel like that but just have a general unease with the direction your life is heading....then you just have a general unease with the direction your life is heading! That's not depression, not yet anyway. Figure out what "it" is that is bothering you - your weight, lack of career prospects in this lousy economy, etc. Try to take positive steps to rectify that. If you feel like you could win a $10M lottery tomorrow and it wouldn't make you any happier, THEN you are depressed!

[Downunder]

(05-11-2013 01:21 AM)Dexter Morgan Wrote:  

If you can't see an end to your problems, you are depressed. If you don't care if you get hit by a bus, you are depressed. If you don't feel like that but just have a general unease with the direction your life is heading....then you just have a general unease with the direction your life is heading! That's not depression, not yet anyway. Figure out what "it" is that is bothering you - your weight, lack of career prospects in this lousy economy, etc. Try to take positive steps to rectify that. If you feel like you could win a $10M lottery tomorrow and it wouldn't make you any happier, THEN you are depressed!

Thanks DM

Its probably more so the feeling that i`m not going anywhere with my life. Hit the mid 40`s and feel i should have achieved more but dont know what direction to go in and what to do. Like i have missed my life`s purpose or haven`t found it yet. I know it probably sounds insane but that`s exactly how i feel at the moment. I try to start and rectify it - get all frustrated and feels like its one step forwards 2 steps back.

[loki]

good therapy, good meds and great friends/family will help a lot.

it did for me.

[RichieP]

If you can atall get yourself to do vigorous exercise, that helps. Some studies suggest it's as effective as anti-depressants for mild/moderate depression. I think it was 30 mins 3x a week that did it, and I think cardio/vigorous sports have a bigger effect than weights - from what I remember. Although weights surely help too.

There are a couple of other promising natural methods, like bright light therapy in the mornings, etc.

Just nice simple ways to tip the brain chemistry back in your favor. They may not totally solve it but they can get it to the point where you're on a more even keel.

Good therapy is the way to get to the root of it and heal it. btw, some therapy is better than others. I really like the "Internal Family Systems" model (which is starting to get alot of support from neuroscientists and brain imaging). The model essentially says that our personalities have Parts, and different parts are active at different times. When you feel depressed, it's a depressed Part running the show - this explains it nicely:
http://www.yourtherapist.org/www/areas-o...epression/

[loki]

getting proper regular sleep also helps a lot, this is why exercise helps with depression.

if you do not sleep well and suffer depression, its much worse on you.

when sleep is a serious issue, which is well known to be connected to depression, do not be afraid to ask your doctor for something to help in that area i.e. benzo's but be very careful with them as they are habit forming

hope this helps

[Woolf]

Check out all vids from Tyler durden:

[JimNortonFan]

First, be rational about it. Happiness level is a set point analogous to weight. You are going to be as happy as your genes and experiences that have done epigenetic work on you will let you be. Changing your happiness set point is hard work just like lifting/eating to change your body chemistry. It can be done but it takes hard work for years.

Go for contentment instead. Figure out if you have a future orientation or a present orientation. If the former, set achievable goals that you can start working towards. If the latter, try and do something that brings you satisfaction every day.

Don't dwell on whatever problem set off the depression.

Don't get caught up in existential angst. If that's an issue set aside some time each week to read philosophy and wrestle with issues but don't let it take over. This includes time spent in the manosphere.

Exercise every day no matter what. Even if it's just walking. You have to start lifting eventually. If you don't want to go out to a gym buy a kit of dumb bells where you can vary the weight. Work out at home. You'll feel better immediately then see the muscle pack on and feel even better.

Eat right. Force yourself to prepare at least one healthy meal a week, then increase the rate to where you're eating right every meal every day. Buy a juicer or processor and think about all the nutrients you will be getting when you have your juice/shake.

[Cyclone]

(05-11-2013 01:03 AM)Dexter Morgan Wrote:  

... But then, you get over the event - and yet the depression is still there! It's like your brain chemistry changed (it probably did).

This is absolute gold, and bothers me quite a bit at the moment.

Once you come to the "conscious conclusion" about what happened, and are over it on a conscious level, your subconscious continues to be beaten down. This is fucked up because right now I'm having heart palpitations over a depressing realization I had on 4/20 (weed can really open the gates) - and yet, even though I never think about the topic, I feel weak, frail, sleep late, and yes, affected my pickup hardcore. Back to square one.

This topic came at the right time for me. But I wonder if OP, you have slight physical tightness/pains in your heart? Perhaps I only have this because it's physical fear *shrug*
.

[Dexter Morgan]

(05-11-2013 12:38 PM)Cyclone Wrote:  

(05-11-2013 01:03 AM)Dexter Morgan Wrote:  

... But then, you get over the event - and yet the depression is still there! It's like your brain chemistry changed (it probably did).

This is absolute gold, and bothers me quite a bit at the moment.

Once you come to the "conscious conclusion" about what happened, and are over it on a conscious level, your subconscious continues to be beaten down. This is fucked up because right now I'm having heart palpitations over a depressing realization I had on 4/20 (weed can really open the gates) - and yet, even though I never think about the topic, I feel weak, frail, sleep late, and yes, affected my pickup hardcore. Back to square one.

This topic came at the right time for me. But I wonder if OP, you have slight physical tightness/pains in your heart? Perhaps I only have this because it's physical fear *shrug*
.

That's not really uncommon in life, is it? We get exposed to some allergan, we have an allergic reaction - sometimes the effects stay with us after the stimulant is removed! We lift weights, our bodies respond to the stimulus, and stay that way long after it is removed. Likewise, you had an event that caused an emotional reaction. The event - or at least, the effect it had on your conscious mind - is significantly reduced over time, but your brain chemistry may have changed slightly and continues the effect you felt at the time the event was most impactful to you.

My suggestions are:
1)Give it TIME. My depressions all abated over time, perhaps yours will too.
2) Meditate, read, philosophize - come up with some way of compartmentalizing your world, including the things you don't like about it. I had to do this regarding women, after my divorce.
3) The part about exercise, sleeping well, and eating well is priceless. Won't have overnight impact but will greatly help in the long run.
4) If you feel you need to talk to a professional, that can't hurt.
5) I wouldn't regard drugs as a "silver bullet", but if a professional (NOT your GP) thinks its time to try a pharmacological intervention, you should consider it.

Note my reference to your GP - in my opinion, WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many GP's see you for a 10 minute visit, hear you say you are depressed, and put you on Prozac. TOTAL BULLSHIT! I have a lot of disdain for GP's in general, but especially the ones who dispense anti-depressants or ambien on a first visit. If they think you need that kind of help, they MUST refer you to a specialist - a psychologist (analyst) to start, and/or a psychiatrist if meds may be in order.

I know a lot of GPs (had some in my family) and I know there are more bad ones than good ones! So view him/her (preferably him )as a means of referring you to a mental health professional...not a substitute for one!

[Dexter Morgan]

(05-11-2013 01:28 AM)Downunder Wrote:  

Thanks DM

Its probably more so the feeling that i`m not going anywhere with my life. Hit the mid 40`s and feel i should have achieved more but dont know what direction to go in and what to do. Like i have missed my life`s purpose or haven`t found it yet. I know it probably sounds insane but that`s exactly how i feel at the moment. I try to start and rectify it - get all frustrated and feels like its one step forwards 2 steps back.

Doesn't sound insane at all. I happen to have a career I love, that I have pursued first and foremost in my life. It hasn't always been roses, but it seems to still have some potential. If I don't reach my dreams in a few years, I will likely go through a period of remorse, as well!

It sounds like you feel like you haven't yet found that one thing you want to pursue. That happens to a lot of people, maybe most of us. And, of course, in this terrible economic downturn and mediocre recovery we've endured for FIVE YEARS now, I think most men feel they haven't accomplished their financial goals. I think our generation may be working until we are 75! But we'll live longer too, so perhaps it all evens out.

My suggestion would be to take small positive steps. They say that people overestimate what they can do in a day or two but underestimate what they can accomplish in a year. Its ok to have some setbacks; try to have a few more steps ahead then steps back, and you may find you've made significant progress in 12-18 months in the areas of your life that are important to you. And THAT will give you a big lift that may carry you forward.

Good luck! Remember, you're not alone - lots of us have been there!

[Nascimento]

I didn't read any of the above posts except the OP. What I suggest is to increase exercise. I don't think I know or have heard of anyone who is suffering from depression and is physically fit/active at the same time.

I took a whole course on physical activity epidemiology. We spent one month discussing how exercise is beneficial in preventing/curing mental illness.

Even if it has been mentioned here before, the benefits of exercise cannot be stressed enough.

[Samseau]

I have found one cure to depression, as I've been suffering through them my entire life.

Travel. Go somewhere nice where you have at least one successful friend who can host you, and spend a week or more with them.

This formula has worked wonders for me. Just as a change in your environment can cause a depression, so too can a change in your environment end a depression.

[iknowexactly]

(05-11-2013 01:06 PM)Dexter Morgan Wrote:  

[quote] (05-11-2013 12:38 PM)Cyclone Wrote:  

... But then, you get over the event - and yet the depression is still there! It's like your brain chemistry changed (it probably did).

My suggestions are:
1)Give it TIME. My depressions all abated over time, perhaps yours will too.

I agree that exercise is great for depression, it also helps with making you more attractive to women, starting a "virtuous cycle."

It's true that most depressive episodes remit without treatment. But 80% of depressed people have relapses. I held off on getting treatment for depression for years and wasted a lot of time. Also, depression is normal as far as having it at least once. About 80% of people will be clinically depressed at some point in their life, but few get treatment.

GPs are generally not well qualified to treat depression, but they are stuck in a double bind. People don't want to go to a Psychiatrist because they don't want to formally consider themselves to have a mental illness. It's not a moral defect, it's just your chemicals are fucked up. Some people have diabetes, some people have depression. It doesn't mean you're evil or lazy if you have diabetes, same with depression. Also remember MDs are often not the most worldly people, how do you get to be a doctor? Studying chemistry and biology like crazy from 14 to 22. They great helpers, but they don't have time to do psychotherapy AT ALL-- they are way too expensive to talk for 45 minutes and find out exactly how things are not going right in your life.

So the GP might give you Prozac or the like, and if it helps he has a piece of information. But that doesn't mean it's the BEST treatment available. Do you think if Obama had depression they'd just send him to a GP? Lobby for a GOOD specialist who is really interested in the BEST treatment for you. There are layers of symptoms which don't get better all at once, for instance hopelessness may get better but you might still have a subtler symptom of mental slowing, feeling your mind is sluggish.

But as one psychiatrist I knew said, "pills don't give you skills"-- you also generally need social learning in the form of therapy of some kind ( could be martial arts training, something besides regular therapy) to help prevent relapses.

Again, 80% of depression sufferers relapse, so you stay in denial or avoid treatment at your own risk. And the poorer the treatment, the higher the chance of relapse.

Experience: 7+ years as licensed mental health care worker, 1000+ patients seen, hundreds with depression of one sort or another.

[Tigre]

This book, Spontaneous Happiness is recommended. The theme of the book is lifestyle changes you can make to alleviate depression.

[ghostdog]

If your evolutionary needs are not yet satisfied you probably don't have a chemical imbalance.
If you do, and you even have kids, then there is probably something not right about you, or it's existential depression

[Valentine]

With depression you need to nip it in the bud before it becomes too ingrained into your life and part of your identity, rather than just a stage you're going through. For this you need an intervention on numerous different levels:

1) Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy - the Gold standard in treating depression without medication (I wouldn't recommend prescription meds due to the side effects, dependence and the fact it just covers up the symptoms instead of addressing the cause). This is is the premier way of changing the way you think and behave, even useful for non-depressed players seeking to improve confidence and ingrain a new quality/virtue into their character.

Through CBT you systemically address the core beliefs which are tying you down to your depressed mood, test assumptions for how true they are and evaporate them using behavioural experiments. Incredible stuff, read some more about it and I highly implore everyone to see a CBT therapist because of the massive benefit you can gain from such an intervention. We know we're not physically perfect so we go to the gym, why not see a therapist to improve on our mindset? Especially when we know the power that mindset has in shaping our entire life.

2) Work out HARD - When you have those endorphins flowing through on a regular basis, it literally makes you feel happier. That and the fact you can see objective progress is satisfying because it makes you realise you're not so worthless after all. It re-establishes that you have control over your life and can make it better with a little effort, something that quickly disperses into other areas of your life.

3) Supplements and Diet - low vitamin D is linked to depression, so supplement it. See Bulletproof Executive for exact amounts, but most people need 10,000+ IU daily. Other supplements that help include phenylalanine and rhodiola rosea. If you suffer anxiety or disrupted sleep also then phenibut and suntheanine (purest L-theanine) are hugely useful too. Finally eat less carbs/sugar and more fat - low fat diets are strongly linked to depression which is unsurprising as fat makes up most of our nervous system and brain. Fish oils (especially krill oil) and lots of saturated fat from nuts, meat, fish etc can be consumed for this.

4) Lifestyle Upgrade - often it is aspects of our lifestyle which make us unhappy and we fail to address it. Do you hate your job/family/friends/health/sex life/etc? Then fix it. Getting to the cause of the depression and taking real steps towards a solution is the best direct way to cure depression if you know it is a specific problem. Don't waste time/money on all these other interventions if you know what the exact cause is and you're ignoring it otherwise you'll be chasing your tail forever seeking another 'magic pill' to solve your problems.

[Hannibal]

The only thing I've found to help is working out and writing down your progress.

Very few things make me happier than to flip through the progress I've made through the months/years and laugh at how much of a bitch I was back then.

Other than that, a proper diet and a solid sleep schedule. Going for a walk in the sunshine helps too.

You might also want to figure out if you're surrounded by toxic fucks and then cut them out of your life.

[Downunder]

Just want to thank you all for your input - has given me some things to think about and take action on.

This forum is just fantastic. Once again, thank you all!

[w00t]

I was heavily depressed for years throughout my mid-twenties, sometimes I would just lie around in bed all day, constantly hate my life and thought whats the point of all this bullshit? I would wake up in the morning with a heavy sick to my stomache feeling and a painfull tight feeling in my chest. Last year I could hardly do dips in the gym because my chest hurt so much. It has gotten a LOT better actually Im quite happy and content these days.

The funny thing is nothing in my life changed, just my attitude is completely different now. I think if your depression comes from an inner conflict then a simple vacation wont help. I did make some trips and it was cool but I was still depressed and feeling bad. OF course if youre depressed because of your outer living situation a change of scenery might help.

I never went to a therapist but did a whole bunch of shit to battle my depression.

Long walks in nature.
Lifting heavy shit 3 times a week.
Journaling and CBT exercises (Feeling good by Dr. Burns is a great book) I dont do it anymore but it really helped.
Taking 5k IU Vitamin D during winter time, my depression got way worse in winter.
Mindfulness meditation

All that stuff is cool and I would definitely recommend it but it didnt really make me feel much better. The only thing that would make me feel good for a while was getting approval from chicks when I was still heavy in the game. Thats the only time when I wasnt feeling like a sorry sack of shit about myself, it seems ridiculous if I think about it now. I always thought "if i only get better at the game I might be happy". I just couldnt admit to myself that I was chasing a fantasy and deluding myself.

At some point last year I hit rock bottom, I was juggling two chicks and I was STILL feeling miserable. Like a junkie who increases his dosage and doesnt feel an effect anymore. At the same time my best friend died in a horrible accident so that fucked even more with my head. I decided I need to find a way out of this before I just put a gun to my head some day. I never contemplated suicide but I did have thoughts like "I wish I just wont wake up one day so I dont have to feel this pain anymore".

I was close to calling up a therapist but thank god never did. He wouldve propably put me on medication and talk about some childhood crap to me or whatever.

I started reading a shitton of books and what ultimately turned my life around was swallowing the red pill in form of 2 books:

No more Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar

Those two books really turned my life around! I realized how I was a complete junkie for female approval and how its not my fault since Ive been conditioned to be like that from a young age. Once that clicked I just dropped all this bullshit. Im not sure if they might help someone else but they did for me. I dont do any of the above shit anymore except meditation and weightlifting and my life is getting better and better. It might sound weird but sometimes I just sit around and think how awesome life is and how gratefull I am for everything I have. I used to be really negative not too long ago so its an amzing change for me. I even stopped smoking weed after 15 years of heavy use one day, without any concious decision, I just dont enjoy it anymore and feel i dont "need" it anymore.

So I believe the way out of depression is very personal as different things can cause depression. Inner conflicts or outer living conditions. Even a shitty diet or lack of Sunlight and exercise might trigger depression.

So if you suffer from depression I would advise you to just attack it from all angles. Throw everything at it that you have, all the stuff that listed in this thread. At some point something will stick. For me it was bibliotherapy because Im a knowledge junkie and need to understand shit, for others it might just be working out or meditating, others might need to see a therapist.

Anyway good luck and all the best. I think depression is curable and I wouldnt listen to quacks who try to tell you your brain chemistry is fucked. OF COURSE its fucked up but thats a SYMPTOM of depression, not the reason! Thats what these idiots dont get and then they put you on medication and make it even worse. I read somewhere a lot of suicides happen with ppl who are on anti-depressants and there might actually be a link between suicide rate and medication, its fucked up.

[Stun]

(05-11-2013 12:25 AM)Downunder Wrote:  

Just was wondering if anyone is going thru depression or has recovered from it?

Would like to hear anyone`s experiences, how they coped with it and dealt with it etc....

Might just help out some others who could be suffering from it

Thanks in advance

I haven't felt depression since high school, but I have a close friend who has. All I can say is if you're depressed don't even waste your time thinking about it or wondering why.

Go to a psychiatrist and get a professional opinion.

My friend was put on a few different drugs that didn't work (Strattera, Prozac, Lexapro) then he was put on Wellbutrin, and it's like someone flipped a switch and put him back to the frame of mind he was in ten years ago. He's happy and confident, and motivated which was one of his biggest problems. Been eight months now and it's still going awesome.

[RichieP]

Guys I forgot another GREAT one:

Cold Showers.

Man, these really tune up your brain chemistry. Afterwards, you feel energised, upbeat, confident, clear-headed etc. Really, really solid.

Swimming in the sea or an unheated cold pool has the same effect.

Today I went for a run - just 5 mins around the park to clear my head, then jumped into a cold shower for a few mins - seriously it's like pressing the reset button.