Quote: (04-23-2010 10:09 AM)weblinks Wrote:
Does anyone think monogamy is natural? I was reading that some animals like gibbons mate for life.
http://www.northrup.org/photos/gibbon/
Now people are not gibbons, but I wonder why most humans don't want to have affairs, either. Although I would like to cheat and have done so in the past, I am so eaten by guilt that I don't think I can do it again.
I don't think a single player who has a confident personality is wrong to seduce girls, but I think people in relationships shouldn't cheat.
What do you think?
So, there are two parts to your question, first, that of biological imperative and, second, morality.
1.
I don't think monogamy is natural for a man. In my experience, the eye always starts to wander after some time, no matter what. The biological urge to have sex with other girls will always be there. I cannot imagine that my urges would be different from any other guy out there.
Therefore, because the urge to have sex with multiple partners is present, then monogamy is not natural. The only thing that keeps it from not wandering is when you are with a girl that is such high quality that you have a hard time finding anything that compares in your environment. However, if a better woman were to come along, then the urge would return.
Granted, all of this pertains to men with high testosterone output (ie: young guys, and healthy old guys). If a guys testosterone is low, then the urge to fuck other women can dissipate. Also, moral principles (committment) can alter a guys psyche, to a point, to where the 'natural' desire to cheat dissipates a little. This is likely a mans natural mechanism that stops him from desiring what he can't have, like when his attractiveness to other women decreases.
This could be one bio-psychological reason why beta chodes tend to fall in love easier than players. Players can have their choice of women, and chodes cannot. Therefore, the chodes brain likely decreases their testosterone and increases the chemicals that make him want to commit. This is just a hypothesis though.
2.
I don't think that cheating in a monogamous relationship is moral. Therefore, I believe in keeping relationships non-exclusive if one wants to fuck other women.
This also tests a mans skill, as most women won't hang around a guy for long periods of time, or they will cheat on him, if there is no commitment made. Therefore, the non-committal man MUST have the ability to source new women on a regular basis.
I do think that society is held together through the family unit, but society is a creation of man. Therefore, I don't think that there is a supernatural morality in place that says that we HAVE to start a family. We have a the moral freedom to decide if we want to be monogamous or not.
I read some history once that stated that marriage was a creation of early society kings who didn't want every man in the kingdom wildly spreading his seed. The kings seed was superior, and the king needed to know that he could dominate the genetic pool of the kingdom, especially with the most desirable women. (an instinctual notion, of course, not based on knowledge of genetics). Therefore, every man was compelled to take one woman for life. I'm not sure how accurate this history is, and wikipedia says that there is little evidence that primae noctis (the right of nobles to take the virginity of every woman before her wedding night) existed. But interesting nevertheless.
In short, do what you want, and as long as you aren't lying, then there isn't any moral or natural compulsion to be monogamous.