If you do a google search for this very question, you will have numerous men claiming that they themselves, or a close friend of theirs, gets cold approached by 1-5 women on a night out ON AVERAGE. Or in less extreme claims, that they get approached on average once a week.
I have a hard time believing this. For several reasons.
1: I consider myself to be pretty good looking. I have evidence in my life that supports this , from random compliments from strangers, to persistent stares (From legit hot girls), to girls whispering about me in groups, from sexual body language directed towards me in public (this is rare though), ect....
However, I have only ever been directly cold approached about 5-7 times in my teenage/adult life. (not including online, not that i do good there either) (i'm 25 by the way) And never have any of those girls asked for my number, nor did i ask for theirs.
I'm not trying to brag about my looks, i go a little above and beyond in terms of living a healthy style compared to most, but i do fall short on the grooming/style side of things. So, a little sexual attraction from strangers feels somewhat warranted to me, given the effort i put into diet and such.
But after reading these threads, it's becoming somewhat apparent to me, that i must be considerably underwhelming sexually speaking if some men can experience such a higher degree of attention than me from strange women.
My once help belief that my looks is the best personal asset I can offer to women (currently), is one of delusion, because women's lack of approaching me apparently must be an actual representational figure of my weak looks.
2: When I'm out in public, I've never witnessed a woman cold approach a man first. Of course it happens, but it must be somewhat rare.
In all honesty, all the male to female interactions i see are not with top tier looking guys. I usually see the best looking guys alone, or with their bros.
It's that super friendly, upbeat, average looking guy who i often see getting in the conversations with the hot girls usually. And i think to myself, that this guy is often just talking to them as friends, because that's how it looks from where I'm sitting.
However, I am not gay, so maybe i'm not seeing what the girls are?
3: Men tend to like to lie about these things.
Their height, their net worth, their lay count, their penis size, ect. Any numerical value that represents a higher status or value that could incite envy from other men, men notoriously lie about.
Is that what is happening here? Because from my angle, if a guy is actually hot and not high status, I would imagine girls would be weary to approach him out of insecurity of his perceived options, and the higher likelihood of rejection.
I am not referring to persistent glances, or IOIs to warm approach, I am talking about a full on direct (or indirect question that veils the obvious intent) approach from a female.
Also side note, I always cringe when I hear from close mates of mine or personal accounts online, that how they've never experienced a rejection because the girls always approach them first.
They apparently just pick and choose the options that come to them.
My one gym buddy, said he has never approached a girl in the club, despite going out every friday/saturday for an entire year.
They would always approach him, and that he would get about one girl every 0.5months as a result.
My other buddy said he would get approached about 3 times a night, especially if he was playing pool, and he would reject them all out of being committed.
Is this a wake up call, a sort of red pill, that women are not as timid and insecure that we'd like to believe, that in fact many women are out there approaching attractive men actively, and that the more efficient strategy would position yourself in a way that would allow them to approach you, since so many women are apparently doing it anyway.
This strategy eliminates you from the needy frame, and allows you to avoid rejection thus keeping any self esteem dips intact.
So, I would like to hear from the men of the RooshVforum who have lived it.
1: How often do you get cold approached?
2: Where do you get cold approached, if you do?
3: Do you notice any friends (or yourself) who are conventionally considered to be hot, get cold approached by women a disproportional amount?
4: How often would you say you notice women cold approach men? And the ones that do, how hot are they? (i hear a lot of guys claim 7+s don't approach men, yet i've also heard some guys say they do, but only really hot guys.)
5: Is not focusing on women when out, and waiting for them to come to you, an efficient strategy to get laid? It's definitely a high status move.
I have a hard time believing this. For several reasons.
1: I consider myself to be pretty good looking. I have evidence in my life that supports this , from random compliments from strangers, to persistent stares (From legit hot girls), to girls whispering about me in groups, from sexual body language directed towards me in public (this is rare though), ect....
However, I have only ever been directly cold approached about 5-7 times in my teenage/adult life. (not including online, not that i do good there either) (i'm 25 by the way) And never have any of those girls asked for my number, nor did i ask for theirs.
I'm not trying to brag about my looks, i go a little above and beyond in terms of living a healthy style compared to most, but i do fall short on the grooming/style side of things. So, a little sexual attraction from strangers feels somewhat warranted to me, given the effort i put into diet and such.
But after reading these threads, it's becoming somewhat apparent to me, that i must be considerably underwhelming sexually speaking if some men can experience such a higher degree of attention than me from strange women.
My once help belief that my looks is the best personal asset I can offer to women (currently), is one of delusion, because women's lack of approaching me apparently must be an actual representational figure of my weak looks.
2: When I'm out in public, I've never witnessed a woman cold approach a man first. Of course it happens, but it must be somewhat rare.
In all honesty, all the male to female interactions i see are not with top tier looking guys. I usually see the best looking guys alone, or with their bros.
It's that super friendly, upbeat, average looking guy who i often see getting in the conversations with the hot girls usually. And i think to myself, that this guy is often just talking to them as friends, because that's how it looks from where I'm sitting.
However, I am not gay, so maybe i'm not seeing what the girls are?
3: Men tend to like to lie about these things.
Their height, their net worth, their lay count, their penis size, ect. Any numerical value that represents a higher status or value that could incite envy from other men, men notoriously lie about.
Is that what is happening here? Because from my angle, if a guy is actually hot and not high status, I would imagine girls would be weary to approach him out of insecurity of his perceived options, and the higher likelihood of rejection.
I am not referring to persistent glances, or IOIs to warm approach, I am talking about a full on direct (or indirect question that veils the obvious intent) approach from a female.
Also side note, I always cringe when I hear from close mates of mine or personal accounts online, that how they've never experienced a rejection because the girls always approach them first.
They apparently just pick and choose the options that come to them.
My one gym buddy, said he has never approached a girl in the club, despite going out every friday/saturday for an entire year.
They would always approach him, and that he would get about one girl every 0.5months as a result.
My other buddy said he would get approached about 3 times a night, especially if he was playing pool, and he would reject them all out of being committed.
Is this a wake up call, a sort of red pill, that women are not as timid and insecure that we'd like to believe, that in fact many women are out there approaching attractive men actively, and that the more efficient strategy would position yourself in a way that would allow them to approach you, since so many women are apparently doing it anyway.
This strategy eliminates you from the needy frame, and allows you to avoid rejection thus keeping any self esteem dips intact.
So, I would like to hear from the men of the RooshVforum who have lived it.
1: How often do you get cold approached?
2: Where do you get cold approached, if you do?
3: Do you notice any friends (or yourself) who are conventionally considered to be hot, get cold approached by women a disproportional amount?
4: How often would you say you notice women cold approach men? And the ones that do, how hot are they? (i hear a lot of guys claim 7+s don't approach men, yet i've also heard some guys say they do, but only really hot guys.)
5: Is not focusing on women when out, and waiting for them to come to you, an efficient strategy to get laid? It's definitely a high status move.