So I met this chick online and I am considerably older than her. She is 23 and I am 50. But she seemed interested. But I may have screwed it up. Possibly went too far with the funny stuff. What do you guys think? Here is the transcript with my comments in parenthesis. So, she is a competitive equestrian and seems very serious about it. She marked me as a favorite first. Very cool levelheaded profile. Not the demanding shit you see from a lot of chicks, not super hot but good looking with a really nice body:

Me:It's not polite to visit someone's profile without saying hello. Lol How are you? Like the profile. It seems very sincere. I like what you have to say. You may be a little crazy though. (trying to do the push pull thing)

Her:Haha Crazy in which way? That is one thing I have Never been called. (she responded quickly)

Me:Ha...very cute photos. I like the look. Makes me think of the girl next door. It's cool that you are an equestrian. Does that mean you like something large and powerful between your legs? Lol Shoot me a text so we can chat and talk a llittle. (trying to sexualize and tease a little more.)

Anyway that was two days ago. No reply since and she did read the message.

What do you masters think. Did I fuck this up? Did I go too far and should have just gotten her out on the date? Should I just write her off? Or should I wait a little while and reengage? If so what would you say?

Thanks

Quote: (10-01-2014 04:51 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Quote: (10-01-2014 03:24 AM)Flint Wrote:  

Just set up a date with a girl from online.

[...]
She: 17:00 sounds good. Identifying mark: orange Gerbera?
Me: On you? I'm wearing a flat cap.
She: I thought you'd bring the flowers. Hello gentleman?! Nah, I'm wearing a perm.

I really didn't think this girl would expect me to bring flowers; she seemed rather modern at first. Any good response in mind? My gut feeling tells me to just ignore the text and go on the date, never mention the flowers again. But I'm open to a good phrase that shows that I'm not willing to buy into that shit test.

"Don't worry, I am planning far more than flowers"

Naturally, at some point (even immediately) she will ask what it is. At that point, do a second round of Agree & Amplify:

"We're going to Cartier's to buy you some diamonds, and then on a horse chariot ride through the city square."

She'll laugh and punch you. That's it.

That said, it's ok to do something small and romantic on a date like getting her a chocolate, but by no means must it be a part of a plan or expectation. These two things need to be kept strictly in the "absurd" territory.

Update: I wrote the text you suggested, but in the end I bought a cheap gerbera for her, because I walked past a flower shop on the way to the date.

Don't know if that helped me or not, but I got a makeout. Suprisingly easygoing girl, just a little more chubby than she looked on the pics.

Thanks, anyway.

Quote: (10-02-2014 08:44 PM)reco2100 Wrote:  

So I met this chick online and I am considerably older than her. She is 23 and I am 50. But she seemed interested. But I may have screwed it up. Possibly went too far with the funny stuff. What do you guys think? Here is the transcript with my comments in parenthesis. So, she is a competitive equestrian and seems very serious about it. She marked me as a favorite first. Very cool levelheaded profile. Not the demanding shit you see from a lot of chicks, not super hot but good looking with a really nice body:

Me:It's not polite to visit someone's profile without saying hello. Lol How are you? Like the profile. It seems very sincere. I like what you have to say. You may be a little crazy though. (trying to do the push pull thing)

Her:Haha Crazy in which way? That is one thing I have Never been called. (she responded quickly)

Me:Ha...very cute photos. I like the look. Makes me think of the girl next door. It's cool that you are an equestrian. Does that mean you like something large and powerful between your legs? Lol Shoot me a text so we can chat and talk a llittle. (trying to sexualize and tease a little more.)

Anyway that was two days ago. No reply since and she did read the message.

What do you masters think. Did I fuck this up? Did I go too far and should have just gotten her out on the date? Should I just write her off? Or should I wait a little while and reengage? If so what would you say?

Thanks

Woah, woah. Look, humor is a great thing, but how did you expect her to take that?

How many times do you think she's been told by total idiots and mouthbreathers the same type of joke?

What you were doing was setting yourself apart with the push pull.

With the "Does that mean you like something large and powerful between your legs?" comment, especially with the second "lol" you pushed her off a cliff, never to be seen again.

Honestly, the first text wasn't horrible, but it had it's weaknesses. Good enough for her to respond semi-positively. You needed to move into playing with her. You can't move into straight sexualization that heavy without her getting comfortable with you.

An example of playfulness would've been to call out something else in her profile, something totally innocuous and make up a story about all girls who like that are a bit crazy when it comes to some specific area of their lives. You're painting a picture of her as crazy without it being rude, something she could accept laughingly. Go read some Krauser texting, see how he sexualizes things but initially in a more playful way. Being immediately that sexual just activates her ASD or worse, her "creep-dar."

Yes, I just made up creep-dar.

I would not expect a response. You may be able to revive with a hail-mary last text, but I doubt it. Something like, "My humor goes over better in person. So the last time I rode horses I was struck by how docile and friendly they can be when they're comfortable with you, despite their wild nature which...they just can't escape. Perhaps that's what I saw in your profile. what do you think" (yes, I just pulled this out of my ass)

I'm no text master, but you've gotta pull her into a world she can imagine and want to play/be interested in if you have any hope of recapturing her attention. You've gotta get in her head in order to get her turned on.

Thanks man. I will wait about a week and give it another try.

I referenced this in another thread....but this is more of a "should I take action" question.

Girl I'd been banging and seeing on and off told me this week she was going to try to give an ex she "has some history with" one more chance. He lives back in her hometown a few hours away and she goes to college here in my town. So...she's down there staying with her parents this weekend but also seeing him no doubt.

Back story....I went over there on Thursday a few days after she told me she was going to give him another chance and we kissed and hugged quite a bit. She says things like she's still crazy about me and really has been missing me, etc. Quite affectionate but wouldn't let me fuck her. She told me this guy has been dogging her for a long time to get back together and he recently "said the right things she wanted to hear" and she decided to give him one more chance. She also mentioned he has tried to sabotage her other relationships in the past. Sounds like some beta fuck I suppose.....perhaps someone here can offer insights on the psyche of a male who does this.

In any event, I texted her yesterday to consider over the weekend everything we talked about before making a decision one way or the other ( I let her know some things she previously didn't know about us and she admitted it was new info to her) She texted me my request was "fair" and that she would "think about it" over the weekend. She also texted she had been "thinking about me" when she got my text.

So....should I text her something today, on Saturday, to kind of stay in her mind....and in a sense "sabotage" this other guy's dating attempts this weekend?

I had a date with another girl last night ( got a great BJ incidentally)....I was going to text her something to the effect of " Kind of funny, we're probably both dating other people this weekend but thinking about each other some. At least I know I'm thinking about you some doll."

......or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and since she's already said she will "think about" staying with me this weekend.....should I just leave it alone over the weekend? It's just that I know she's seeing this guy on nights over the weekend and was wanting to "stay in there" with some texts while maybe subtly letting her know I'm also dating this weekend.

Quote: (10-04-2014 10:58 AM)robreke Wrote:  

I referenced this in another thread....but this is more of a "should I take action" question.

Girl I'd been banging and seeing on and off told me this week she was going to try to give an ex she "has some history with" one more chance. He lives back in her hometown a few hours away and she goes to college here in my town. So...she's down there staying with her parents this weekend but also seeing him no doubt.

Back story....I went over there on Thursday a few days after she told me she was going to give him another chance and we kissed and hugged quite a bit. She says things like she's still crazy about me and really has been missing me, etc. Quite affectionate but wouldn't let me fuck her. She told me this guy has been dogging her for a long time to get back together and he recently "said the right things she wanted to hear" and she decided to give him one more chance. She also mentioned he has tried to sabotage her other relationships in the past. Sounds like some beta fuck I suppose.....perhaps someone here can offer insights on the psyche of a male who does this.

In any event, I texted her yesterday to consider over the weekend everything we talked about before making a decision one way or the other ( I let her know some things she previously didn't know about us and she admitted it was new info to her) She texted me my request was "fair" and that she would "think about it" over the weekend. She also texted she had been "thinking about me" when she got my text.

So....should I text her something today, on Saturday, to kind of stay in her mind....and in a sense "sabotage" this other guy's dating attempts this weekend?

I had a date with another girl last night ( got a great BJ incidentally)....I was going to text her something to the effect of " Kind of funny, we're probably both dating other people this weekend but thinking about each other some. At least I know I'm thinking about you some doll."

......or should I just let sleeping dogs lie and since she's already said she will "think about" staying with me this weekend.....should I just leave it alone over the weekend? It's just that I know she's seeing this guy on nights over the weekend and was wanting to "stay in there" with some texts while maybe subtly letting her know I'm also dating this weekend.

I would not reply to her for the rest of the weekend. You are too busy living your life and meeting other people remember?

At the same time to introduce dread post a pic of you and your new little honey on your facebook so your main girl can see it.

Then lets see if you hear from her. If she sees the pic and says nothing. Then you need to spin more plates. lol

For shits and giggles. I'm trying to get at least one of these two out tonight, both said they're busy this weekend:

Taiwan Slut
me:....if I go I'll be gone until November
her: Uh oh..That's kinda long wait lol
me: Tell me, am I worth the wait
her: I def would like to meet you! you sound very confident and I'm sure you're very interesting to talk to


Russian Slut
me: Sup buddy..tell me your plan for tomorrow/weekend
her: I'm invited to dinner tomorrow but I can make it for drink around 6?
me: I'll be at happy hour. I'll give you a ring


I don't need advice, just curious how some of you other playas would play this one out.

^didn't get either of these chicks out last night. here's another one...going to try to get her out later today

me: told you i'd text you
her: haha a man of his word
me: yes ma'am. just got home..Still up?
me: almost got in a fight after you left

Here's an example I think that could be useful:

Background: My home girl's friend was "intrigued" by me, she's a solid 9, unfortunately has 2 kids. We all finally hung out this weekend and I got her number then bounced to another bar.

An hour later I texted her.

[attachment=21952]

Notes:
-She showed high IOI in her first and IMMEDIATE response to me.
-She responds as soon as I text her continuously.
-I throw off the cocky funny vibe which I use in my texts also "I'm always a good time"
-She's busy but offers me Friday, before I can respond she throws in a shit test "I'm sure I'll bump into you though sooner or later" To me this was a "oh i'm busy, but I'll see you around"
-Once again I throw in a cocky funny line and I give her a direct night, time, and venue.
-She responds mildly sexually, and then confirms meeting me.
-Another cocky response "pencil vs. stone"

I'd say this was handled pretty well - I'll throw in a middle of the week text about her team in the MLB playoffs or hockey.

Any criticism, advice, or suggestions are always welcome

Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.

Quote: (10-07-2014 12:24 AM)Roardog Wrote:  

Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.

cool

Restart text in just over 2 weeks

Quote: (10-07-2014 02:46 AM)Achilles Wrote:  

Quote: (10-07-2014 12:24 AM)Roardog Wrote:  

Hi guys,

Got a girl I met on tinder and moved to Whatsapp over the weekend. She is heading off to Hong Kong for 2 weeks on Wednesday but I'd like to try and bang her before that if possible so I went for drinks on Tuesday night. She was keen for drinks but wasn't sure if she'd be able to do Tuesday due to preparation for her trip and said she'd touch base with me on Tuesday arvo.
Without prompting she just messaged me with:
"Hey there, I'm sorry I'm still trying to sort out stuff for tomorrow and I won't be able to meet up tonight
Maybe catch you when I get back if you're free?"

Do I:
A) Try and push the drinks tonight?
B) Tell her it's cool because I won't have to leave training early to see her
C) Tell her to hit me up when she gets back and I'll see if I'm free (or something along those lines?)
D) Some other response?

I'm glad she's keen but I don't really want to wait 2 weeks if I can be in with a shot tonight.

cool

Restart text in just over 2 weeks

Sorry Achilles but I'm glad I didn't listen to you!
Ended up getting her out for a drink although I really need to improve my first date game. I'm struggling to build rapport and keep things light and funny in person.
Got a bit of kino going at the end before I had to call it a night (not even close to getting her back to my place) but messed up going for the end of date kiss, got knocked back and didn't recover well. Pretty pissed at myself.
Will touch base with her in a couple of weeks and see what happens.

Anyway, for those interested this is the conversation:

Girl: Maybe catch up when I get back if you're free?
RD: That's a shame, guess I'll be checking out this new cocktail bar solo.
Girl: Look I'll try really hard to get everything done now and get back to you? No promised though.
Just realised its already 5 though! And it's a Tuesday night haha
What time were you thinking?
RD: I was going anyway so no stress if you can't make it.
I'm going to head there around 8.30.
Otherwise hit me up when you get back from protesting for Chinese democracy (we'd been discussing the protests in HK earlier)
Girl: Haha... how bout I message you when I'm done with my packing and shit to see where you are?
Got a couple of work things to sort out too.
RD: Sure
Girl: Daylight saving is so confusing! Where are you?
RD: Haha, it reallly is! I just got home from the gym. I'm going to shower and wander down to this bar.
Girl: Where is it? I probably should have asked you that before!
RD: <Bar location>
Girl: I'm in <>! It'll take 45 mins to get there. How long you planning on staying for?
Sorry, I just assumed you'd be in the city somewhere.
RD: Depends if you're coming or not.
Haha, you know what they say about assumptions!
Girl: Oh haha yes. Ok, I'll drive which means no drinking
Gimme address.
RD: Google link to address
Girl: Ok leave now
RD: Cool

OK so, I picked up this girl the other day and suggested we go get drinks yesterday, but it didn't work out. She was already heading home by the time I received a reply to my offer.

How to strike while the iron is still hot without coming across as beta?

This is a basic question I know, but my text and phone game really does need some work. No problems building attraction and rapport in person but I'm often blowing it on the phone.

I'm thinking I should try to get her out Friday or Saturday, but how should I restart this conversation, and when? I really have come to believe in some of the stuff that Steve Jabba and Chris (GLL) say about striking rapidly, but you never want to sub-communicate bad things, which talking too often risks doing.

Quote: (10-09-2014 12:26 PM)Libertas Wrote:  

OK so, I picked up this girl the other day and suggested we go get drinks yesterday, but it didn't work out. She was already heading home by the time I received a reply to my offer.

How to strike while the iron is still hot without coming across as beta?

This is a basic question I know, but my text and phone game really does need some work. No problems building attraction and rapport in person but I'm often blowing it on the phone.

I'm thinking I should try to get her out Friday or Saturday, but how should I restart this conversation, and when? I really have come to believe in some of the stuff that Steve Jabba and Chris (GLL) say about striking rapidly, but you never want to sub-communicate bad things, which talking too often risks doing.

A really comfortable/casual re opener is simple and plain, say something like "Hey you" or Any plans tonight? combine them both. Depending on how she replies you will know how she feels towards you.

Got this girls number off OKC and trying to set up a date with her.

She tentatively agreed to Wednesday night and then when I checked to see if we were still on she flaked and asked for a reschedule so she could attend a yoga class.
I played it relaxed and said "Cool, I'm free tomorrow night, otherwise next week." She responded with "mmk".
Then a few hours later she starts texting me and I get the innuendo going straight away and she likes it. Also complains how her yoga class was crap which I gave her shit about because she bailed on me for it.

This afternoon I drop her another text
Me: "Tonight?"
Her: "hmmm. I was already meeting my friend. I forgot she planned something... Saturday?"
Me: "Busy Saturday" (This is a first date so I don't do weekends plus I am actually busy)
Her: "I'm on my way there now couple is having an argument on the train. dunno what theyre going on about but the guy is stuffing his face with McDonalds while arguing"

So what do I do next? I'm thinking about just giving her radio silence until Monday or Tuesday then hit her up again.
Or do I try and see when she finishes up with her friend?

I feel I definitely shouldn't engage with her bullshit I'm bored and on the train give me attention message.

I don't say anything and she comes back with..
Her: when then
Me: Tuesday or Wednesday.
Her: busy man u are
Me: I do a lot of things (not sure this was the right thing to say here)
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.

Quote: (10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  

Got this girls number off OKC and trying to set up a date with her.

She tentatively agreed to Wednesday night and then when I checked to see if we were still on she flaked and asked for a reschedule so she could attend a yoga class.
I played it relaxed and said "Cool, I'm free tomorrow night, otherwise next week." She responded with "mmk".
Then a few hours later she starts texting me and I get the innuendo going straight away and she likes it. Also complains how her yoga class was crap which I gave her shit about because she bailed on me for it.

This afternoon I drop her another text
Me: "Tonight?"
Her: "hmmm. I was already meeting my friend. I forgot she planned something... Saturday?"
Me: "Busy Saturday" (This is a first date so I don't do weekends plus I am actually busy)
Her: "I'm on my way there now couple is having an argument on the train. dunno what theyre going on about but the guy is stuffing his face with McDonalds while arguing"

So what do I do next? I'm thinking about just giving her radio silence until Monday or Tuesday then hit her up again.
Or do I try and see when she finishes up with her friend?

I feel I definitely shouldn't engage with her bullshit I'm bored and on the train give me attention message.

this bitch does not feel the urgency to commit... so you need to create a bidding war.

text her this- yea wednsday works, u bring da wine

when she ask who this was to say- when r u free

This should focus her by letting her know that she is not the only one out there and that you could give a fuck about what she's doing.

If a girl responds very enthusiastically to your first message (Tinder) and you have great discussion, then you make joke that offends her, what do you do then?

I tried with "what? so you can't even take a joke?" but that didn't work. Would be good to hear how to reframe so I avoid this error next time.

Quote: (10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  

She responded with "mmk".
Her: "hmmm."
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.

With girls you truly have to read in between the lines. I fixed everything you said by bolding the last line and cutting everything she said except the important parts.

Now you no longer have to read between the lines. She's a complete tease or PERHAPS a "maybe" girl.

Could go major escalation and send her a dick pic or you can minimize your interaction entirely and only go for logistics.

Alternately you could just make fun of her and say "hmm" and "mmmk" to everything she says. She sounds like a cunt.

Quote: (10-17-2014 09:59 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

If a girl responds very enthusiastically to your first message (Tinder) and you have great discussion, then you make joke that offends her, what do you do then?

I tried with "what? so you can't even take a joke?" but that didn't work. Would be good to hear how to reframe so I avoid this error next time.

Could you provide more of the interaction? Needs more context.

Well, it's about six weeks ago now, so can't remember exactly. But the convo was going well, then I told her I was from abroad, and then she wrote:

"oooh! so what brings you here?"
"im here to pillage and make off with the maidens" after which I added "but originally my because my parents moved here"

then she didnt answer. I waited a couple of days then wrote

"woot? you can't even take a joke?" with a grinning smiley. No response. Clearly it's not funny, but I'm a bit surprised it destroyed the interaction.

Quote: (10-17-2014 01:37 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Quote: (10-16-2014 12:47 AM)Roardog Wrote:  

She responded with "mmk".
Her: "hmmm."
Her: hmmm

I'm getting the feeling this chick could be a waste of time.

With girls you truly have to read in between the lines. I fixed everything you said by bolding the last line and cutting everything she said except the important parts.

Now you no longer have to read between the lines. She's a complete tease or PERHAPS a "maybe" girl.

Could go major escalation and send her a dick pic or you can minimize your interaction entirely and only go for logistics.

Alternately you could just make fun of her and say "hmm" and "mmmk" to everything she says. She sounds like a cunt.

Yeah, thanks, you're confirming what I already thought. It's a shame because I really wanted to get my Canadian flag (they're hard to come by here in Australia) and she looks like she has a tight body.
She text me over this weekend as well, "hiya", but I'm giving her radio silence until the weekends over and then will try one more time for a date. If she flakes again then I'm deleting her number.

Girl: So.. You are kinda sexy, huh

What's to be said here ? This was out of the blue text. The convo before this was just trying to figure out logistics. Although I already replied to this, I was very sleepy then and not sure if it was the best reply.

Well, what did you say?

You are adorable.

The convo went fine after that. Nothing wrong so far. But trying to see a better reply for next time.

Quote: (10-18-2014 05:41 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  

Well, it's about six weeks ago now, so can't remember exactly. But the convo was going well, then I told her I was from abroad, and then she wrote:

"oooh! so what brings you here?"
"im here to pillage and make off with the maidens" after which I added "but originally my because my parents moved here"

then she didnt answer. I waited a couple of days then wrote

"woot? you can't even take a joke?" with a grinning smiley. No response. Clearly it's not funny, but I'm a bit surprised it destroyed the interaction.

Inconclusive, but I think you could've come up with a funnier, yet shorter response. Problem is that she could've been offended by the joke or bored by it. You also fell into her frame by sending the second "actual" reason.

Also, I wouldn't have assumed she couldn't take a joke with the ping text. Better to send her a picture or text about something fun going on for her to join you at. You can't really know if it was your joke or she just lost interest or was distracted by the myriad of things that she could have vying for her attention. If her interest level wasn't high enough which is what it seems like I doubt she would've been worth any more effort anyway.

Quote: (10-20-2014 04:52 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

You also fell into her frame by sending the second "actual" reason.

Also, I wouldn't have assumed she couldn't take a joke with the ping text. Better to send her a picture or text about something fun going on for her to join you at. You can't really know if it was your joke or she just lost interest or was distracted by the myriad of things that she could have vying for her attention. If her interest level wasn't high enough which is what it seems like I doubt she would've been worth any more effort anyway.

That's good advice about sending a photo. Will do next time. Falling into the girls frame is still a mistake I make, even after these many years.

I dont think the interest level was too low because until the joke she was pretty fast at sending messages and asking lots of questions.

I suppose I could try at a later point to reopen the interaction if she posts something asking for advice.