Sorry for the long post. I've been reading the threads and really do enjoy the general anti-feminist consensus of this forum. Looking for some objective opinions on whether or not to have & raise kids with this older woman (for my age):

I'm in my mid twenties, been seeing this 33 year old for the last 5-6 months. She's been married once, divorced, no kids, never been pregnant. We have this open relationship thing going where I pretty much get a free card to bang any girl I want; she does likewise but says she doesn't have the desire to see others lately (let a 2 year fling with an older married lover go), apparently has fallen deeply for me, seems like it but who really knows. And even if she does bang other guys, I won't complain as I expect her to be cool with me the same way. I did hook up with a new girl when traveling recently, and it only got her to look hotter for me and try harder, so no jealousy or anger on her part whatsoever as we talked about. For the most part though, it's just been me and her.

The sex has been fantastic, she lets me be a fucking lion and pretty much do anything I want with her body. DTF anywhere and anytime; (Currently on vacation in Cali, we're the only ones in the hotel pool area, fucked, and then some more in the public, empty, cabanas; another time in this co-ed Russian bathhouse). Best blowjobs I've ever had and plenty of them (wakes me up with one pretty much every morning I'm over). Has a sexy body, and I'm talking, nice juicy ass (I'm an ass guy), tits are big but could use a modest lift (says she plans to in the future, and again, I'm an ass guy anyways), and pretty face, but most important to me - slender. She works out regularly and keeps her body in shape, promises not to get fat on me, haha, and I think just generally has good metabolism.

She had given up on marriage and kids, but according to her, I came out of nowhere, and now she wants kids. I realize this forum has a generally anti-kids attitude, but I've always looked forward to one day having them so bear with me. As much as I love getting ass, I don't think getting a ton of it is my long term purpose in life. But, I think it's early for me, being in my mid twenties, except I do see something real special with this woman (famous last words right?), so I'm a little stuck; this may be that opportunity I don't want to pass up and if I do would regret later. It could actually be a good balance, with me being a bit early for kids, and her a little late (I wouldn't say 33 is that late if her body's healthy). She has a pretty stable career, a freelance magazine editor with a reputable publishing company and can work at home; also co-hosts a show on PBS. So she'd probably be able to work at home and stay with the kids, while still getting paid - nice gig. Not that I'm not financially capable myself, but also, her mother sold her business and got $8M and mentioned she's got a decent inheritance coming her way down the road, says her mother will spoil the kids, etc.. My point is, I don't think I have to worry about becoming a financial slave to my kids.

She'd like to get married, but I told her unless we absolutely have to down the road, I don't see a reason to anytime soon. I'm not really keen on the Western institution of marriage, think it's more trouble than it's worth and just a way for the big government to impose controls on you. She's cool with my take and agrees with me.

She claims she would completely understand if I lose attraction for her down the road for a younger chick, says it would hurt a lot, but also says it'll give her a reason to stay fuckable for as long as possible, and to keep her body in check (again promises to never get fat on me haha), and is open to plastic surgery later on if needed to keep her aesthetics good; again, same rules apply to me. That is NOT my plan though - to ditch her and the kids for a younger chick down the road. Ideally, I'd want to be with her and raise the kids, I know it sounds lame, but as long as she stays this fuckable, interesting, financially independent, and loving towards me, and as long as I maintain that free card - if I choose to - to get my dick wet with some sluts, within reason, every once in awhile, I think it could work.

I know this sounds like a typical case of an older lady losing her biological clock and looking to find anyone to have kids with. I just think there's something else there, but perhaps I'm just young, blind, and naive.

I'm curious to hear people's take on this.

Well, congrats on being considered breeding material. He previous husband wasn't. But in an open relationship on both your parts, no way that's a suckers deal. You're in your mid 20s, cultivate some 21 yo.

Shit man, they are usually more subtle with that stuff. You know, they spend more time with you, they cook you the best meals, they give you their ass on demand and generally make sure you spend most of your time with them feeling like a king until you start believing that you are a nice couple.

Run. Sex with 21yo girls is better than legal slavery caused by suspicious promises from an aging western broad who is becoming unstable.

Either you're trolling us, or she's trolling you.

I'd normally run like hell, but the inheritance has my attention. I'm trying to think of a way to make this work for you.

Unless you want kids at this point in your life, I would get out and start banging young girls in their early 20s.

I also want one million dollars for free. Next her - unless you have a bulletproof long-term plan the inheritance isn't worth your patience and time.

Quote: (01-21-2014 05:23 AM)yolo Wrote:  

I'm in my mid twenties, been seeing this 33 year old for the last 5-6 months. She's been married once, divorced, no kids, never been pregnant.

How did her first marriage end?

No.

Consider the fucked up situation you'd be raising the kids in. Mom is a DTF, fuck me in public slut and the both of you have open relationships that they kids will figure out soon enough. No one that I know can effectively work at home and take care of kids without being a brutal employee or burning out.

If you want to have kids, wait until you have the resources to pay for your wife to do nothing but raise them, stay in shape, cook and have sex with you. Then, date/interview for the position of wife/mom. Your best bet is young and NOT college educated. Career women can see how they can be self sufficient outside of the marriage more easily than a girl with a diploma who's work experience is at a mall kiosk.

If you really, really want to stay in this situation I'd advocate you pulling a Kevin Federline/kept man situation. She continues working, you spend your days at the gym, banging broads and taking the kids to daycare for your occasional part time job/fake startup (don't be a stay at home dad)

Mid twenties = 25ish

I'm that age, and I wouldn't do it at all. You're just starting off in your career,a While I've seen some marriages and open relationships where the guy could game to his heart's content, having a kid, (let alone kid(s)) will pretty much put an end or significantly dampen your game career,you won't get sex anywhere near as often with the kid around, and not to mention the mandatory 15% of your pre-tax income that will come out from child support should things go sour with you guys.

Oh and pregnancy changes women. For all I know yours could turn into a sex withholding whale once the kid is born. There's lots of girls out there that become landwhales AFTER they have kids.

Quote: (01-21-2014 05:23 AM)yolo Wrote:  

As long as she stays this fuckable, interesting, financially independent, and loving towards me, and as long as I maintain that free card - if I choose to - to get my dick wet with some sluts, within reason, every once in awhile, I think it could work.

You would have to be an idiot to think that she is going to stay fuckable, interesting, financially independent, and loving when there are kids in the picture to feed, love, take to the doctor, take to school, nurture, etc etc.

Think straight, man! Maybe she is right for you, maybe not, but the thought process that I quoted in this post is absolutely 100% going to get smashed on the rocks.

Quote:Quote:

My point is, I don't think I have to worry about becoming a financial slave to my kids.

Never assume anything about a woman. Never trust what they say.

Since you never thought of having kids with her, you are now going to do it because she is asking you? Who is running the show? You've known her for 6 months?

Seems like it is just about her. You think her selfishness will not encroach onto you even more than just asking for your seed?

P.S. She seems to have made plenty of assurances to you that she is cool with you losing your attraction to her, etc. Please see my first two sentences.

P.P.S. Are we being trolled by a 33 year old lady?

Quote: (01-21-2014 05:23 AM)yolo Wrote:  

Sorry for the long post. I've been reading the threads and really do enjoy the general anti-feminist consensus of this forum. Looking for some objective opinions on whether or not to have & raise kids with this older woman (for my age):

I'm in my mid twenties, been seeing this 33 year old for the last 5-6 months. She's been married once, divorced, no kids, never been pregnant. We have this open relationship thing going where I pretty much get a free card to bang any girl I want; she does likewise but says she doesn't have the desire to see others lately (let a 2 year fling with an older married lover go), apparently has fallen deeply for me, seems like it but who really knows. And even if she does bang other guys, I won't complain as I expect her to be cool with me the same way. I did hook up with a new girl when traveling recently, and it only got her to look hotter for me and try harder, so no jealousy or anger on her part whatsoever as we talked about. For the most part though, it's just been me and her.

The sex has been fantastic, she lets me be a fucking lion and pretty much do anything I want with her body. DTF anywhere and anytime; (Currently on vacation in Cali, we're the only ones in the hotel pool area, fucked, and then some more in the public, empty, cabanas; another time in this co-ed Russian bathhouse). Best blowjobs I've ever had and plenty of them (wakes me up with one pretty much every morning I'm over). Has a sexy body, and I'm talking, nice juicy ass (I'm an ass guy), tits are big but could use a modest lift (says she plans to in the future, and again, I'm an ass guy anyways), and pretty face, but most important to me - slender. She works out regularly and keeps her body in shape, promises not to get fat on me, haha, and I think just generally has good metabolism.

She had given up on marriage and kids, but according to her, I came out of nowhere, and now she wants kids. I realize this forum has a generally anti-kids attitude, but I've always looked forward to one day having them so bear with me. As much as I love getting ass, I don't think getting a ton of it is my long term purpose in life. But, I think it's early for me, being in my mid twenties, except I do see something real special with this woman (famous last words right?), so I'm a little stuck; this may be that opportunity I don't want to pass up and if I do would regret later. It could actually be a good balance, with me being a bit early for kids, and her a little late (I wouldn't say 33 is that late if her body's healthy). She has a pretty stable career, a freelance magazine editor with a reputable publishing company and can work at home; also co-hosts a show on PBS. So she'd probably be able to work at home and stay with the kids, while still getting paid - nice gig. Not that I'm not financially capable myself, but also, her mother sold her business and got $8M and mentioned she's got a decent inheritance coming her way down the road, says her mother will spoil the kids, etc.. My point is, I don't think I have to worry about becoming a financial slave to my kids.

She'd like to get married, but I told her unless we absolutely have to down the road, I don't see a reason to anytime soon. I'm not really keen on the Western institution of marriage, think it's more trouble than it's worth and just a way for the big government to impose controls on you. She's cool with my take and agrees with me.

She claims she would completely understand if I lose attraction for her down the road for a younger chick, says it would hurt a lot, but also says it'll give her a reason to stay fuckable for as long as possible, and to keep her body in check (again promises to never get fat on me haha), and is open to plastic surgery later on if needed to keep her aesthetics good; again, same rules apply to me. That is NOT my plan though - to ditch her and the kids for a younger chick down the road. Ideally, I'd want to be with her and raise the kids, I know it sounds lame, but as long as she stays this fuckable, interesting, financially independent, and loving towards me, and as long as I maintain that free card - if I choose to - to get my dick wet with some sluts, within reason, every once in awhile, I think it could work.

I know this sounds like a typical case of an older lady losing her biological clock and looking to find anyone to have kids with. I just think there's something else there, but perhaps I'm just young, blind, and naive.

I'm curious to hear people's take on this.

My advice after 40 years of marriage is marry the girl she sounds like a winner and will fuck your brains out until she can't and then might even be okay with you getting it elsewhere in the elder years. Real nice when you can find a woman like that.

No.

Get a 20 year old now. Marry her in 3 years have a kid when she is 24 and you are 29.

You are on a player forum. Advice will go with odds, your odds are terrible. The more money you accumulate and the less sex experience your future wife has the better.

Her family's money is dangerous, you become a bitch to her family because their gifts will gain leverage against you. Know guys that live this life, it's comfy like living in a well-kept zoo. You don't have real control though.

This is a truly remarkable -- and somewhat unbelievable -- story. A 33-year-old, slender affluent PBS host with a killer body wakes you up every morning with blow jobs and also lets you bang other girls? And this horny affluent girl who likes to do it in public (and Russian co-ed bathhouses) wants to get pregnant with your baby after being in an open relationship with you for 5-6 months? Come on. Who are you, Chris Pine?

If this poster were a guy with a known reputation and 100+ rep points, I might believe it. I don't believe it coming from someone with the username "yolo" with zero rep points and less than 20 total posts.

I call BS. "Yolo" is probably a female troll.

I can't comment on the full situation, but do want to debunk some myths about money and the power that comes with it:

"...her mother sold her business and got $8M and mentioned she's got a decent inheritance coming her way down the road, says her mother will spoil the kids, etc.. My point is, I don't think I have to worry about becoming a financial slave to my kids."

Maybe not a financial slave, but you'll have other issues to contend with.

1). If she controls the financial purse strings, then she controls the house, the kids, and the "culture" of your family. This is actually worse than if you had to shoulder the load and she stayed home with the kids. You end up a bit player in your own life...and if it's her mother's money, you'll really have no say. And, trust me, there will be times she says "It's MY decision to make! Who's paying after all?"

2). If you get divorced, it doesn't matter if she has $8 million or $8 dollars. What matters is whatever the judge determines keeps her and the kids living in the manner they've become accustomed to. This is why Ashton Kutcher had to fork over millions to older ex-wife Demi Moore who already had millions. Extra money can hurt in these situations.

3). "Says her mother will spoil the kids..." So your power as a parent will be undercut by a Baby Boomer flexing her financial muscle. You won't be the first to be in this situation. You'll spend all week imparting values and ideals about hard work and integrity, and then Baby Boomer Grandma will swoop in with Miley Cyrus tickets and book reports bought from the back pages of Rolling Stone. Good luck with that.

Um he probably won't but...

Quote: (01-21-2014 05:23 AM)yolo Wrote:  

I'm in my mid twenties, been seeing this 33 year old for the last 5-6 months. She's been married once, divorced, no kids, never been pregnant.

Honestly, you really need spend at least 2-3 years in serious relationship with a woman before you have any idea whatsoever of what she will be like after you put a ring on it.

You need more time to check her out. But unfortunately if she wants kids, time happens not to be on her side.

This is why, as a simple rule of thumb, a woman doesn't qualify as wife material if she is a day over 30 when she first jumps in the sack with you. Suppose you start banging her out right before she breaks 30, then come 2-3 years of trial relationship/engagement, that makes her 32-33 by the time you walk down the aisle with her.

That means you have 2-3 more years to conceive your first child before she hits age 35. And everything after age 35 is defined as a geriatric pregnancy.

First of all, I wanted to apologize for being mia. You all just had such wonderful comments and I really wanted to spend some time returning a thoughtful response. The delay is in large part because a lot has happened lately in my life - job change and move to NYC - so I've been pretty tied up in that.

In this post, I just want to respond to some of the comments, and in a future post, I can give you a more detailed update on the situation.

Regarding having kids and a family, while also being in a looser than traditional (but not overly promiscuous) open relationship, I'm also concerned about the kids finding out. I wonder if there's a way to make sure they don't, but it'd probably only be a matter of time. What would I tell the kids in that situation? I don't know, but I'd hope I have a good explanation for them. I'm not really concerned with becoming a burn-out employee and having to raise kids. I work part-time at my job and have a "fake start-up" (haha) on the side in the crypto-currencies industry. I generally work hard at what I do, with or without a kid, and I'm confident I can find a balance, with a little help. We're both not particularly rich, keeping her mom's fortune separate, but we have enough to get by, with some upside potential; I see a possibility in budgeting in daycare, babysitter, or a maid in the future.

Regarding money, good points were made, but whether or not her family has money is none of my concern and isn't the primary purpose of this relationship. I intend on making a fortune myself or together with her and have no plans to rely on a woman's or her family's money - I couldn't live with myself. Still, it's nice (but again not necessary to) have this safety net.

Glock and anyone else who thinks I'm trolling - I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks haha. It's soothing to hear at least some optimism in this not very traditional situation. I'd also love to hear doobs2's story some day, but it looks as if he's only got 1 post so not sure if there is gonna be one.

Someone brought up a pretty scary picture, of which I similarly fear myself for other deeper issues (i.e., such as), but under an invalid assumption. I actually was the first to bring up the idea of having kids to her, not the other way around. She was at first taken aback and surprised, but eventually grew to have this desire, too. I figured I want to have kids with her, and her being in her 30s, I unfortunately do not have the luxury to wait 10 years.

The whole plan to marry a young, inexperienced virgin, seems nice and methodical in theory, but not sure if it's fulfilling in practice. That's speaking only from my little relationship experience, so I really don't know and could be wrong about that. I ask myself - would I be fulfilled/satisfied with this particular young girl knowing I molded her into being who she is according to my plan?

I'm grateful for the commentary. Some of it has brought me healthy insight and I find reflecting about it quiet therapeutic. Thanks. I have some other things I'm trying to figure out, and if anyone's still interested will be posting more details on this later.

If you're not a troll, you're f'ing nuts man. This situation has so many marital risk factors written all over it.

Don't get trapped man.
Once she'll be prego, she'll change: mentally AND physically.

If you marry, it probably should be with a woman 5-10 years younger than you. Believe me, when you reach your 40s, you will understand why.

Still hasn't gotten pregnant, not sure if she ever will, or maybe I'm shooting blanks. Anyways, we've been living together in Manhattan and for awhile we've been mostly exclusive. She definitely has been but I did get a bj from a rando once and fooled around with another rando on a camping trip. Anyways, mostly exclusive. But she's always had this thing for an ex that she misses. And we agreed a few months back that exes would be out of the question. Problem is she says she's the type of woman (so they say) that isn't into one night stands or randos like I am, and if she were to hook up with somebody, it'd probably be somebody she has an emotional connection to, such as her exes. Anyways, still, we both kinda agreed that exes are out of the question. But, it seems like she's getting more desperate now and misses her ex. Her ex is a mid 50's guy, married with kids, and I don't particularly like this guy or respect him, so it makes this even more difficult. My brain is telling me that I need to move out as if I set the precedent to let her see her exes on occasion, then we seize being exclusive. I would feel like a total loser if I know she's out banging her ex, and I'm sitting at home. Also, turns out the chances of me hooking up with new girls are pretty slim with another lady in the house. Problem is it's tough because we both split the rent and rent in Manhattan ain't cheap. Also, I've become pretty spoiled with her cooking, and morning bjs. It's too good to be true. I'm in a difficult situation, because on the one hand we're mostly exclusive, but on the other hand, she wants to see her ex. To me, it's a major disrespect move and I just can't accept it. Should I be ok with her sleeping with her ex? She says she just "wants the freedom" to do it, but doesn't mean she actually will. I think that's bs, I think it's obvious that she eventually will bang him. She claims it's like reverse psychology that the more I try to resist her from doing it, the more she wants to do it. This is clear bullshit women talk right? I mean we originally set out as an "open relationship" but since we live together, in reality, it's been mostly exclusive; and, I thought we had ruled out ex's out of the picture, but now she wants to bring them back in. Maybe this was her plan all along, to make it seem like they weren't, only to introduce them later. She's been mostly honest with me, and it was a great deal of courage for her to tell me that she no longer wants "exes" to be out of the picture. She really is a wonderful person, caring, is nice to have around, but I have a pickle here because I think if I let her see her ex on occasion, then I have to be more vigilant and start cultivating other women. But to do that, I need to move out, and then our relationship will have to change, with less sex, bjs, cooking- anyways a lot of it goes down the drain, and I may just lose her altogether. Do you think I'm overreacting in being dismayed with her seeing her ex? Am I being a baby bitch? Thanks guys.

As far as the child goes, even if it ever happens. People keep talking about marriage - WE ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED and never planned on it. Also some of you may think I'm going to fall for her getting pregnant to another man, but we definitely discussed the risk of this and that we'd get a pregnancy test just in case. I'm in my mid twenties, she's a good woman, despite the totally untraditional scenario, I think we would still do a decent job raising this child; we are in the 21st century here, so let's have an open mind. I figure if I have a kid now with her, by the time the kid hits adulthood, I'd be in my 40s-50s and will think well "Shit great, I raised a kid, got it out of the way." And if I want to go bang 20 year olds, I think I'd be in a good position since I won't want to/need to focus on marriage or kids, etc. You know what I'm saying? I definitely am naive, but work with me here.

I think what I'm going to do is start planning for a new apartment. I'm not in a rush to do so, and may have to wait until June, (when our lease expires). I'll still see her, but I can't live in the same household with her as that would make it nearly impossible for me to cultivate new ladies. Of course, if she gets pregnant, that changes everything. In this scenario, I'd still only move back in if she agreed to be exclusive with me and of course I would hope she'd have a rational enough mind to accept that.

Quote: (10-25-2014 11:25 AM)yolo Wrote:  

Problem is she says she's the type of woman (so they say) that isn't into one night stands or randos like I am, and if she were to hook up with somebody, it'd probably be somebody she has an emotional connection to, such as her exes. Anyways, still, we both kinda agreed that exes are out of the question. But, it seems like she's getting more desperate now and misses her ex. Her ex is a mid 50's guy, married with kids, and I don't particularly like this guy or respect him, so it makes this even more difficult

I figure if I have a kid now with her, by the time the kid hits adulthood, I'd be in my 40s-50s and will think well "Shit great, I raised a kid, got it out of the way." And if I want to go bang 20 year olds, I think I'd be in a good position since I won't want to/need to focus on marriage or kids, etc. You know what I'm saying?

Go ahead and stay with her. Knock her up. Worry about the ex who had her when she was younger, hotter and firmer. Follow the fallacy that raising a child is something to "get out of the way." Be totally convinced that you will have the time and ability to pull 20 year olds 20 plus years from now.

Whatever you do, don't look for another apartment you can afford elsewhere. God forbid you have firm terms that signal you are a man of consequence. No, your 20s and 30s are to be devoted to raising a child born from a woman still in love with a married man.

...or perhaps you can wait...