rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.
#26

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 11:41 AM)chicane Wrote:  

Quote: (09-27-2018 11:23 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

Volunteering and other charity events are gold, as long as you don't let it start to look like you don't have anything better to do. Botanical gardens, galas, art walks, etc.

If you have a nice place to live and a channel to network with a political candidate and offering to host a meeting for his campaign. I worked on a congressional campaign once and had married voters, their daughters, donors' wives, everybody coming on to me. It was ridiculous.

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

Im not a white male but i agree whole heartedly about this. Charity events are a fucking drag and it's tough to position yourself for an approach. The hot women their are few and far between and are every bit as shallow as club sluts. Volunteering works but are we talking social circle or just another outlet to game. It seems as though we've taken a bit of a tangential departure. Nonetheless, volunteering it's easy to pick up women but again you run into a quality issue. Lastly, given your relative newness to the game i wouldn't recommend any of the suggestions in quotes. You will come off extremely awkward and likely be disappointed with your results and efforts
Reply
#27

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

This thread is mad autistic.

OP's problem is that he is trying to reverse engineer being cool, without knowing who he is.

That and he REFUSES to take the advice so generously dispensed by members here. That's why he will post in one thread just long enough to piss everyone else off and derail the topic until it dies, whereupon he goes onto the next thread and does the same thing.

OP is a theorycrafter, not a doer.

OP is after "i am very smart" points, and has been from the jump.

"Does PUA say that I just need to get to f-close base first here and some weird chemicals will be released in her brain to make her a better person?"
-Wonitis
Reply
#28

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

With regards to social circle and hot chicks in them a lot of what you see when you go out is the result of these women getting free drugs and alcohol as another poster has pointed out. In my social circle in DC that's precisely the arrangement. Its a few handsome guys(myself included); attractive FWBs we don't care flirting with other men outside our circle cuz we still fuck them; cool guys with good careers thus good salaries, a low level drug dealer or two and absolutely no squares. The squares and not being one is the important part. I don't do any drugs but I drink and smoke cigars.

Before I met the circle Im in now I started by meeting one of my now best friends at one of my frat brother's parties. Upon meeting him we both sorta gave each other nod in terms of having a level of appreciation for each others style. I sincerely complimented him on his shoes and he did the same with my shirt. Then we did a hangout trial run. We went out and he saw that not only did i get on bitches but bitches were lookin at me. The same holds true for him. We both saw that each other received social proof from attractive women we've never met. We went out again and to cement the relationship. We then slowly started building a circle within a circle. When we would go out we would bring our most attractive FWBs for social proof. We did this over and over again until eventually people we didn't know recognized us on the street for always having a table full of girls.

Another thing that needs to be said again is inner game. I was a jock in high school but not particularly popular. I was popular in college but i wasn't quite the man yet. Then post graduate school I leveled up becoming a social and upwardly mobile professional Now im the man. Which is what the fuck I always wanted to be. Im respected most places I go because Im exceptionally kind to people(men and women) and at 6'3 220 lean muscular pounds I look like i can beat the shit out of everyone. The point is I was constantly trying to improve myself. Body, fashion(understated) and career. To get the best you have to be the best. NO EXCEPTIONS. When ever I go out of town usually the guy most folks would consider to be the most handsome or cool always seems to gravitate towards me. I've met a number of friends this way. I've already been validated before I've made an utterance. Last year I was partying side by side with Kevin Durant from the Golden State Warriors and he was looking over at our table with a "how the fuck do these non-millionaire non superstars have this many women'. Simple, when the top 10-20% of guys all women want are all friends and party together there's a special magnetism that takes place. Even at my kids daycare men go out of there way to form bromances with me. I don't mind. As i said, I go out of my way to make people feel special, partly because i don't want to leave a sour taste in their mouth about me.

Be better than you are now. Improve your body. Pick up cool MASCULINE hobbies that aren't limited to going to the gym (surfing, extreme rock climbing, boxing, motorcycles, dj'ing, joining a band). Don't be ordinary. You will be in an ordinary social circle if you maintain such a station. Make sure your posture conveys confidence. BTW posture doesn't get spoken of enough around here. Make sure your teeth are str8 and white if they aren't. You only have one life man don't half ass it. For the record, none of the my friends and associates from high school or college are living the life of abundance I am. The exception being a movie director that's made legit blockbusters and he's fucking married and faithful.
Reply
#29

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

I used to work at victoria secret and lucked into one of these situations and it made me stop cold approaching altogether.

It's just like sales man. You have to do your market research. Where can you find the most leads? Wouldn't it be better if you can magically put yourself into a situation of 100 hot leads? Every salesman would love that.

But why would the top salesman who is already in this situation let you in? He is trying to close the deal himself.

When you start off, you HAVE to cold approach aka do cold calling. This is how you generate leads. After all, you are starting from scratch.

After awhile, when you become good at what you do, you start to run into "gatekeepers." It could be a cool social guy or a hot girl who knows many hot girls. This is known as a big fish. You have to network with this person.

You ever dealt drugs before? A newbie can rise up and take over the game if he were to suddenly discover all the connects of a guy who is already killing the game.

This is also true in business. Linkedin exists for people to network and cross check for references and connections. If you have the right connections, you have an advantage over a random resume.

A guy who argues for cold approaching vs social circle or niche game is like a salesman who'd rather do door to door sales than to network with a big fish. That's fine because a lot of guys like cold approaching. But in terms of having a lot of leads in one place, there are easier ways to achieve that than just cold approaching alone. There is nothing wrong with supplementing your cold approach game with social circle and niche game.

However, some posters have already raised some interesting points. What value do you provide that would make these "big fish gatekeepers" interested in networking with you?

Are you a socialite yourself? Do you throw parties? Do you have a huge social media presence, and therefore can provide people with exposure? Do you work as a talent recruiter? Do you have drug connections? Are you socially proofed off the ass? You can't just be a door to door salesman with no references and connections and expect big fishes to open their doors for you.

You have to provide tremendous value or get grandfathered in somehow.
Reply
#30

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

OP

Steps to being cool

Step 1. Stop posting asinine threads

Step 2. Go read this book



[Image: 220px-How-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.jpg]

Here's a quote from the book

Quote:Quote:

"The key to being cool is to stop posting stupid threads"...Dale Carnegie circa 1937

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Reply
#31

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

One thing in defense of cold approach -- there are girls who don't WANT their circle knowing about how they do any casual non-dating hooking up.

That kind of breaks the SALES metaphor, because it's like saying "secretly Warren Buffet wants to meet a random deli owner to invest in"... that's obviously BS. But in cold approach in the right city if you have a good vibe, crazier shit has happened!!

Don't want to get personal, but I've had months-long flings with girls who were well out of my "social / wealth" league, who would not have hooked up with me if I were in their real circles. Natural cold approach, I wasn't "out approaching", but I was out and about and not shy, and having fun (with or without friends around).
Reply
#32

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 12:06 PM)Jetset Wrote:  

Quote: (09-27-2018 11:41 AM)chicane Wrote:  

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

I disagree. Those types of activist circles certainly exist, but pick and choose your neighborhood and venue for social status and ideology. You're not going to tend to encounter a bunch of heavy-set blue hairs obsessing over a living wage for transgendered people of color in most of Charleston or Scottsdale. Choose high-value events to meet high-value people.

As for soyboys, the "fat girl" effect is in full swing in those situations.

Probably useless to chase down these events. I think once you achieve a certain stature in corporate business (or other industries such as healthcare, etc.) then these types of charitable organizations will be knocking your doors down trying to get you to attend. Most people that attend do so for the photo-ops & make a few donations that double as tax write-offs. If you have an "in" to these types of events already by all means go for it, but I wouldn't lose sleep over trying to find the scene.
Reply
#33

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 01:01 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

Im not a white male but i agree whole heartedly about this. Charity events are a fucking drag and it's tough to position yourself for an approach. The hot women their are few and far between and are every bit as shallow as club sluts. Volunteering works but are we talking social circle or just another outlet to game.

I didn't read the thread in detail, but I thought the question was specifically about social circle and meant it in that context.

You definitely don't (for example) host a campaign event to cold approach there.

Quote: (09-27-2018 01:03 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  

OP's problem is that he is trying to reverse engineer being cool, without knowing who he is.

Agree with this 100%. Cart before horse. You need to have your game on point before any of this matters.

Quote: (09-27-2018 02:07 PM)jordypip23 Wrote:  

Probably useless to chase down these events. I think once you achieve a certain stature in corporate business (or other industries such as healthcare, etc.) then these types of charitable organizations will be knocking your doors down trying to get you to attend. Most people that attend do so for the photo-ops & make a few donations that double as tax write-offs. If you have an "in" to these types of events already by all means go for it, but I wouldn't lose sleep over trying to find the scene.

Also agree with this, but for somebody who doesn't really have an "in" in a community, I think it's an effective way to meet people, often prominent people, and their sisters/daughters/friends, rapidly. Worked for me in practice.

Hidey-ho, RVFerinos!
Reply
#34

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 02:05 PM)456 Wrote:  

One thing in defense of cold approach -- there are girls who don't WANT their circle knowing about how they do any casual non-dating hooking up.

That kind of breaks the SALES metaphor, because it's like saying "secretly Warren Buffet wants to meet a random deli owner to invest in"... that's obviously BS. But in cold approach in the right city if you have a good vibe, crazier shit has happened!!

Don't want to get personal, but I've had months-long flings with girls who were well out of my "social / wealth" league, who would not have hooked up with me if I were in their real circles. Natural cold approach, I wasn't "out approaching", but I was out and about and not shy, and having fun (with or without friends around).


I had a debate with a guy once about it. In the end, we both agreed that unless you are a wolf with top notch game, you'll just end up getting friend zoned no matter how many women you surround yourself with. On the other hand, if you ARE a wolf, all you need to do is surround yourself with women. Like being in a candy shop.

A wolf who goes out cold approaching all the time without any social life whatsoever will have to constantly deal with other wolves and cockblocks. He is actually better off finding a niche where the women come to him to supplement his cold approach game. Basically, he needs a life outside the clubs.

As for myself, my lay rate (and overall quality of life) dramatically went up after I decided to get a social life instead of being a lone wolf all the time.

On the other hand, a beta guy is better off venturing outside his circles so that he can practice escalating on women without repercussions. If he starts gaming women in his circles with crap game, it would destroy his self esteem/social standing and he might even become an outcast. Women do not have patience for you to learn game.

As for myself, I always look for niches that are target rich. Once you reach a certain stratosphere of status, it would serve you to network with high status people not just for women, but for potential jobs, opportunities, cool parties, high quality friends, etc.

But my question for the OP is, have you mastered escalation out in the streets? Because if you go into these niche social circles with hot women with less than 50% calibration, if you can't read signs of interest and are still afraid to pull the trigger, it would only destroy your self esteem and leave you disillusioned.

I know guys who can cold approach but have no life, don't know any women. And I also know guys who have tons of access but are complete beta cucks. Ideally, you want to master cold approach game and have a vibrant social life.
Reply
#35

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Cold approach doesn't have to be in a club, nor do guys practicing it have to Not have a social circle...

Mix and match.

Banged plenty of friends-of-friends, but had I had to RELY on that, it would NOT have been ideal.
Reply
#36

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

@ABeerIsEnough...Dont be intimidated by those who are more than likely TRAPPED in a "social box". Being a social person (Cold Approach just a TOOL) gives you freedom to be unconstrained by such limitations.

Those same people you see in those groups 90% of time will NOT meet many other people, lots of social boxes are like that mainly due to FEAR...Most of these people see me in past just a decent good guy who came out to have fun and just specializes, gives 0 fucks about the formalities or dynamics they install in their heads. (Who goes out to hang amongst their same friends? You could just have a house party)

Everyone isn't doing it, not because it is HARD...

Fears & Ego #1 limitations...More specific this community has a dogmatic doctrine and cold approach sorta got twisted in the creed. Most community dudes are short sighted " dick wet" oriented. They can be living in a city for 1-3 months just chasing tail hoping to get some lays YET have no actual social life or from of lifestyle. (If she ain't sucking it what value does she have for me?")

So it's a logical consequence of short sightedness...Whereas men in general are just so fearful of cold approaching that socializing for most seems like a FEAT or EFFORT.

Another belief-trap...Guys think social circles are this asexual thing or process. You have a sexually active vibe YOU regardless how you interact will be seen as a potential "sexual experience". Chicks bringing girls for me to meet or they themselves wanting to lock-in sex.

The only thing non-existent is no labels, assumptions, expectations, etc. It's just FUN shared experience. Which is why it is ironic the only times had issues in my sex life was monogamy as no matter the BS or ISSUES you can't just go have fun sex elsewhere.

@pk9090 your too worried about other dudes and them enjoying the social circle in their own manner. So what if they bring their own girls. What stops you from bringing majority? You can never fuck em all so this just sounds like you were doing things at a snails pace and never mingled and interconnected with other circles.

Like other poster explained in his experience, all it takes is " one" but I personally I don't want to be the typical human just laying in 1 social box under their set subculture & beliefs of reality. So I became affiliated with 40-50, go wherever I pleased.

From that perspective the only constant is YOU...7+ billion people so many potential connects.

Other rebuttal is DISCRETION, no one needs to ever know who you hooked up with and didn't. Everyone just assumes whether you are present or not, that your always having sex just because of your sexually active vibe.

What it takes is expanding awareness and looking beyond the dogma of meet, hang out, pull. Like I said, in the past I could've just had girls bring friends of friends...One of my boys had a 3some because 2 girls rolling with me, I ditched them last minute as I wasn't into it after a certain point...

My girl was SHOCKED that I could just walk away from a hookup. My boy ends up hooking up with his girl then waking up in am having a 3some with both.

I've also experimented with possibility of throwing sex parties. At that point I realized sky is the limit and the only thing that stops you is the creativity of your mind.
Reply
#37

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 11:41 AM)chicane Wrote:  

Quote: (09-27-2018 11:23 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

Volunteering and other charity events are gold, as long as you don't let it start to look like you don't have anything better to do. Botanical gardens, galas, art walks, etc.

If you have a nice place to live and a channel to network with a political candidate and offering to host a meeting for his campaign. I worked on a congressional campaign once and had married voters, their daughters, donors' wives, everybody coming on to me. It was ridiculous.

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

No SJWs don't leave their homes. They sit at home and eat cake till they can't.


What I have met at volunteering? Some of the most beautiful girls personallty wise I've had the pleasure to meet. The kind of chick that wakes you up with a blowjob and asks what you want for breakfast.

So wholeheartedly disagree.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

Fashion/Style Lounge

Social Circle Game

Team Skinny Girls with Pretty Faces
King of Sockpuppets

Sockpuppet List
Reply
#38

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 06:54 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

@ABeerIsEnough...Dont be intimidated by those who are more than likely TRAPPED in a "social box". Being a social person (Cold Approach just a TOOL) gives you freedom to be unconstrained by such limitations.

Those same people you see in those groups 90% of time will NOT meet many other people, lots of social boxes are like that mainly due to FEAR...Most of these people see me in past just a decent good guy who came out to have fun and just specializes, gives 0 fucks about the formalities or dynamics they install in their heads. (Who goes out to hang amongst their same friends? You could just have a house party)

Everyone isn't doing it, not because it is HARD...

Fears & Ego #1 limitations...More specific this community has a dogmatic doctrine and cold approach sorta got twisted in the creed. Most community dudes are short sighted " dick wet" oriented. They can be living in a city for 1-3 months just chasing tail hoping to get some lays YET have no actual social life or from of lifestyle. (If she ain't sucking it what value does she have for me?")

So it's a logical consequence of short sightedness...Whereas men in general are just so fearful of cold approaching that socializing for most seems like a FEAT or EFFORT.

Another belief-trap...Guys think social circles are this asexual thing or process. You have a sexually active vibe YOU regardless how you interact will be seen as a potential "sexual experience". Chicks bringing girls for me to meet or they themselves wanting to lock-in sex.

The only thing non-existent is no labels, assumptions, expectations, etc. It's just FUN shared experience. Which is why it is ironic the only times had issues in my sex life was monogamy as no matter the BS or ISSUES you can't just go have fun sex elsewhere.

@pk9090 your too worried about other dudes and them enjoying the social circle in their own manner. So what if they bring their own girls. What stops you from bringing majority? You can never fuck em all so this just sounds like you were doing things at a snails pace and never mingled and interconnected with other circles.

Like other poster explained in his experience, all it takes is " one" but I personally I don't want to be the typical human just laying in 1 social box under their set subculture & beliefs of reality. So I became affiliated with 40-50, go wherever I pleased.

From that perspective the only constant is YOU...7+ billion people so many potential connects.

Other rebuttal is DISCRETION, no one needs to ever know who you hooked up with and didn't. Everyone just assumes whether you are present or not, that your always having sex just because of your sexually active vibe.

What it takes is expanding awareness and looking beyond the dogma of meet, hang out, pull. Like I said, in the past I could've just had girls bring friends of friends...One of my boys had a 3some because 2 girls rolling with me, I ditched them last minute as I wasn't into it after a certain point...

My girl was SHOCKED that I could just walk away from a hookup. My boy ends up hooking up with his girl then waking up in am having a 3some with both.

I've also experimented with possibility of throwing sex parties. At that point I realized sky is the limit and the only thing that stops you is the creativity of your mind.

Pretty much this.

Go out to meet people. The first step is just say something. The second and harder step is being someone of value. And sometimes all that value is ends up being fun to hang around.

Though as I've gotten older and more experienced I've switched over from being hyper active socially to just being comfortable in my own skin, showing up, and then engaging strangers at my energy level.

And it all ends up looping back to not being a self absorbed ass, listening, and learning to extend the conversation. Oh also a smile and a firm handshake help.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

Fashion/Style Lounge

Social Circle Game

Team Skinny Girls with Pretty Faces
King of Sockpuppets

Sockpuppet List
Reply
#39

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-27-2018 06:54 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

@ABeerIsEnough...Dont be intimidated by those who are more than likely TRAPPED in a "social box". Being a social person (Cold Approach just a TOOL) gives you freedom to be unconstrained by such limitations.

Those same people you see in those groups 90% of time will NOT meet many other people, lots of social boxes are like that mainly due to FEAR...

Hey DL, I heard you're saying that newbie needs to gain competency at Cold Approach. Not MASTER it but being competent at it. So what do you mean by that?

Because I'm on this journey right now where I do "newbie missions" like asking for the time, directions and then move onto next step which is slighty harder. (exposure therapy)

So competency is when I simply walk up, being social chat 1-2 minutes and give my number for social reason or when I'm being able to "hook" girls?

Need to know the difference

PS. Sorry for offtopic guys... idk why I can't send private messages.
Reply
#40

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Agree with the more experienced posters here.

@OP, what do you offer?

What value do you bring to the table?

Why would I want to include you in my social circle?

Are you vouched for?

What social circles have you already established?

If I bring you in, are you going to systematically try and fuck every woman?

Are you able to kick back, have fun and be laid back?

Are you non-judgmental when it comes to sex, drugs, music and money?

Do you go out to have fun and spread the vibe or do you focus only on fucking?

Do you understand what discretion is?

Do you spend your whole life on social media?

Do you 'get' it?

Can you be trusted? I invited this guy once to a private party and he ended up stealing shit. That was a lesson in itself.


Social circles work for me because I am just a laid back guy who wants to have fun.

I can tell you what works for me:

I have a reputation and people know who I am before they meet me.

I network extensively across all ages.

I treat people like old friends and I take an active interest in their life.

I send thank you notes or bottles of wine when people go out of their way for me.

I phone people and give them some time of the day because it matters to them and they add value to my life.

I don't get pissy if someone I don't know comes to my table when I have bottle service.

I greet all the bouncers, DJs, bartenders. I tip them at the beginning of the night and visit them during my smoke breaks to get to know them.

I know phrases in other languages to disarm any foreigners who are around and to be warm towards them.

I don't care about chasing tail, tail chases me.

I don't care about buying drinks and sharing, today me tomorrow you.

I won't lose my shit if you're an 8 and bring a guy with because I believe in trust and vouching for others.

I am interested in your story, regardless of who you are. You have to be inquisitive and non-judgmental.

I am an extrovert who understands introverts.

I will pay for your uber if you are fucked and need to get home.

There is a fine line between being fucked over and being generous. The line is even finer when you are doing it because it's your principle vs. wanting something.

People know the difference.

The last point is the problem we have on this forum. It's full of introverts trying to take shortcuts to become extroverts in disguise. It doesn't work that way. People who are connected can see through your shit. Doesn't matter if it's a private art gallery party, backstage at a music festival or simply a birthday party.

You gotta be comfortable with being social to make others open up to you. You have to be outcome independent because you're having fun on your own and want to share that.

You go out and treat it like it's YOUR birthday party.

Just on Saturday, I made friends with a really connected guy who bumped me up to the VIP section in a festival because we were able to connect, bond over traveling and mutual interests. By the end of the night, he introduced me to his wife and thanked me for the travel tips as he wants to treat her to a holiday.

I didn't go in looking for anything or VIP. This guy was next to me, looked interesting and we sparked up a conversation. Now I have his number and he's another hookup for me or another person to add value to my parties.

Be a giver, not a taker and start off with what can I offer?

The same way I treat women, what have you done for me lately?

Understand that relationships are transactional to an extent but don't be jaded by the fact that some take more than others.

You choose who to include in your life as do I.

Why should I include you?

You're focused on getting laid. I am focused on having a memorable time and connecting with people on a deeper level.

It's the secret society. Get invited to a freemasons event and you will see this in action. Join a social group and you will notice parallels.

All social groups operate in the same way. Stop trying to skip the hierarchy and actually offer something worthwhile. Power is given, not taken.
Reply
#41

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

one more thing i could caution people is that social circles are much smaller than you expect.....

I was on a blind-date (my buddy setup...it was awful) and started hitting on these 3 random hot girls next to me.

it was cool. nothing happened, but 2 weeks later i am out w/a good GF of mine....and she invites 2 girls (one of whom i was hitting on 2 weeks ago).

We had a little laugh and all bonded really deeply.

Dont for 1 second think that the world is not interconnected. Assume everything will come out.

WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
Reply
#42

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

These are some valuable posts by members, OP. After reading them, do take action.

For someone who is facing even more complex problems than you when it comes to social value and social circle, I can tell, as others have already mentioned that the most important thing is- 'what value do you bring'.

Positive Social value = Increase in sexual Market value.

Any person or group will want to accommodate you only if you fulfill or add something extra to their lives. Otherwise why should they? if people are taking in someone without considering what value the person brings, then, that group is either also of no value (typically these are male loser groups such as Incels) or that group is full of people starting afresh (such as First Year college groups).

Secondly, reputation is key. Lose it and no amount of you being interesting will help you. You'll have to bring exceptional, rock star level of value then to even change group's opinion about you and allow you in.

I will give you my example. I started at an Elite MBA School last year. Before joining the program, I had decided that I will dominate social groups and be a straight up popular guy. I had all the tools. Good sales and networking skills due to my previous work, excellent communication skills, knowing how to chill out and party, great at crossing cultural barriers, knowing how to manage people and inner politics and having a positive vibe above all.

Also, I had done tons of things which makes me somewhat interesting: High altitude mountaineering (above 20000ft summit), worked in tough and competitive industry, played soccer semi pro and good at other sports, good at fitness and can train people, 99th percentile GMAT score and have been hired by a top exam prep company to instruct students, can give girl,game and red-pill advice ( lot of it learned from this forum), diploma in Method acting and done community theater, youngest President of a premier public speaking club and, therefore, can assist people on becoming great speakers and presenters and lastly, have traveled decently.

The above would at least allow me to add value to some people or a group and become part of them. That is what I thought when I started my MBA. However, I was not able to, because I lost reputation which I describe next.

I started the program strong. Mingled with fellow students and I stood out. But soon I started falling behind because of heavy course load and internship recruiting.I was not able to properly manage both. Also,I got the worst team possible for my First year. We were a group of 5 and I was totally different than the rest 4. I told myself I had handled tougher people before and these were just late 20s,weak, millennial SJWs. But turns out they were high conscientious and Intelligent SJWs. I was unable to match their pace in contributing towards team assignments. Other personal stuff such as separation from my wife was also going on. In order to make right and contribute positively, I become desperate and copied answers from an external source. I got found out by someone in the team and got a plagiarism complain against me. Slowly I become more introverted and closed off in order to cope up with all things I faced in the university. I also spent a lot of time trying to improve game and game women as I wanted to get rid of the anger and depression of my separation from my wife. The result was that I failed at recruiting, barely maintained a decent GPA that was required for my scholarship, had terrible relations with the team and my overall reputation in the program took a hit. No one said it to my face but people in the program started keeping a distance. They were not warm and friendly but just formal to me. I tried to be more positive to them, complimenting them and even try to help them in academics or networking but they either ignored or refused. Soon after the first semester cliques and social groups formed. I was not part of any one of them, except one which I made with the real close friends, who also understood redpill concepts, liked game and got along with me. But these are very few friends. Rest all act as acquaintances. No one said it but I could feel people treat me indifferently for being a low performer and one without an internship. In the second semester in some classes the teams changed. Even then, no one asked me to be part of their team. I had to actively ask and almost force myself in. A trip to Brazil happened in the summer. 60 of us went. The cold distance was so bad that people did not even sit with me in the plane or bus, let alone inviting me to the fun places that they were visiting. I still acted positive. I often asked people, with warmth and friendliness how their trip was going. I even bought people drinks. For example we went to watch a soccer game. I went and got a 24 pack for our bus journey. Lot of people drank with me and were friendly but same people once back and sober, again became distant.

Since, I did not have the big social group, I just gamed either as a lone wolf outside the University circle or with the few friends who I have in the program. However, if I was popular and had value in the MBA social circle then , gaming would have been easier. People notice all the time, especially girls. Even if the MBA girls were older and most already committed, other girls including the undergrads would notice, seeing me as a person always hanging around in groups comprising of the elite types such as Investment bankers and consultants and having lots of such friends. This would increase my sexual market value in their eyes, giving me social proof. Then the approach and gaming the University girls would be tons more easier. Also, these kind of high brow social groups introduce friends of friends to each other all the time including single girls. That kind of game would also become possible.

Even though most of these people are pretentious, selfish, elitist, mostly liberal and blue pill, I needed them. For the social value, for the program and for the future in terms of career. My wish of vibing well with them and becoming part of their in group never materialized and was an utter failure let alone socially dominating them. They literally think I provide no value or bring negative value. So they do not try to become close to me.

I am in my second year now, trying to improve my GPA and deciding what I really need to do career wise with my MBA. I have improved academic wise but the social game is already lost with these people. Unless I get a high profile job or do something seriously wonderful for a group of them or display a level of competence in MBA that is above their level, my social situation will not improve.

In fact I get a lot of positive social vibe with students who are First years or in the professional/executive program. I am also a team coach to the first years. The reason being these students start to know me through me. They do not know my reputation and observe that I am providing a lot of value. But as soon as these students get to know me more through others in my class, the gained social capita starts diminishing.

So when you see couple of guys having a good social group of hot girls around them, then consider how they got it. They might be gameless betas but they bring value that is considered good socially. For example, almost all of the IB and consultant guys in my program do not have game, but their status makes people gravitate towards them, including girls. Two absolute gameless schmucks in my year have already had more than one MBA girl become their gf. So when they have their parties or go out, guess what, these MBA girls bring their friends who are usually well educated 7s and 8s . Other single gameless guys in the group, then, get access to these girls, who are mostly are willing to date or fuck. Where as I, who has considerably much better game than them, has to struggle hard and contend with ratchet 5s and 6s from outside the University circle.

All in all, I only blame myself for not playing the social game properly and not being competent enough to be part of these circles.

I am doing a course called Power and Influence in Organizations in my program and so far it has been helpful. I work with the professor during non class hours to improve myself in terms of gaining social capita and on how to become socially dominant.

As someone already said, Power is earned not given. My belief is that Power is either attained or you got to take it. No one gives it to you. (Jack Nicholson's character from 'The Departed' says it in the opening).

I also like the environment to be the product of me NOT vice versa (again taken fro The Departed). I like to be socially dominant or have power to shape the people around me in terms of redpill values. The close freind's of mine know this and do get somewhat influenced. However, this mindset comes with a flaw: One would always rebel with the status quo internally or externally. Even though I tried to play a socially non political game and suppressed my political thoughts, I did not like towing the line to bluepill thoughts within the university. People are usually afraid of red pill thoughts and behaviors. Unless one attains a significant amount of strong friends or social groups, then only one can start influencing people with their own values.

If you want to truly become a good social catch, then not only you have to be interesting but also you have to bring added value that matches with your targeted social group, without any negative reputation. And the value would need to not be a one time thing but a sustainable one. For example, you have a job that matches or is even in higher level than your target group and one that the group would like to know more about for networking, then you would be able to break in the group, provided you also match the ideologies of the group and can culturally acclimatize with the group.

Dale Carnegie's book-'How to win friends and influence people'- is very helpful.
So is Jeffrey Pfeffer's-'Power'.
Lastly, read Noccolo Machiavelli's- 'The Prince'.

In real life start identifying the groups which you can gel with. In most cases the kind of group you want would not have the same values as you. So in that case you would need to suppress your ideologies, adapt, fake being positive with their values and try to mingle. Start with approaching one member of the group at a time and see how you can help her or him out and with what. Genuinely try to do this with all the members and if you are able to succeed then notice how you get gratitude from them. Try earning big gratitude from each but remain humble. Just keep trying to help and earn return thanks. If you are not getting a return thanks then either you are helping when not needed or being used. Never allow that. Do this with a balance of being cold, calculating as well as genuinely nice. Once someone from the group instead of saying thank wants to also help you genuinely, then take advantage to become close to this person. Identify this person's strengths and weaknesses in the group. Leverage him or her for your entry and power position in the group.

If you can, also make your social media presence strong, starting with Instagram and Facebook. You will need to do lots of pics of you doing cool shit, pics of you with tons of people who also seem socially cool whether its business conferences, parties, traveling together and pics with lots of girls in different settings. Your followers and friend list should be high and include a lot of girls (more than 60%). When you have this kind of clout then, what happens is that the social media will speak on your behalf even if you cannot demonstrate direct value to a group. This is challenging and you will need a lot of time, resources and money. If you do then I would highly advise you to do it.

Take action and update on how it goes.
Reply
#43

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Don't go overthinking how to meet good looking women.

They are everywhere.

The best social club is tennis.

The girls are fit, they wear short skirts so you can check out the body, and they are smart...some of them are really good players.

But don't go thinking you will be playing these girls...quiet the opposite, they will see you as the sport!
Reply
#44

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

This thread holds great information!
I have been trying to create a social circle because I didn't know many people. I recently got really annoyed because I was thinking "Why should I be the only one perusing everyone!" I just realized that I was the one looking for access, and I haven't shown that I was valuable in any meaningful way.
Reply
#45

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Some surprisingly good posts in this thread. I 100% agree with quaker — you attract who you are. If you’re constantly stressing and hamstering about being in the cool kid’s club, you’ll probably attract people who either put you down or have the same status seeking mentality as you. If you dedicate yourself to self improvement (not worrying about looking cool or what others think of you), you’ll attraxt similar people into your life.
Reply
#46

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Quote: (09-28-2018 12:52 AM)Ner Wrote:  

Quote: (09-27-2018 06:54 PM)Distant Light Wrote:  

@ABeerIsEnough...Dont be intimidated by those who are more than likely TRAPPED in a "social box". Being a social person (Cold Approach just a TOOL) gives you freedom to be unconstrained by such limitations.

Those same people you see in those groups 90% of time will NOT meet many other people, lots of social boxes are like that mainly due to FEAR...

Hey DL, I heard you're saying that newbie needs to gain competency at Cold Approach. Not MASTER it but being competent at it. So what do you mean by that?

Because I'm on this journey right now where I do "newbie missions" like asking for the time, directions and then move onto next step which is slighty harder. (exposure therapy)

So competency is when I simply walk up, being social chat 1-2 minutes and give my number for social reason or when I'm being able to "hook" girls?

Need to know the difference

PS. Sorry for offtopic guys... idk why I can't send private messages.

Well I'm not Distant... But I can definitely give you some quick pointers. I suggest you do your future posting in the approach threads in order to not Highjack future threads! So I'll keep it short. Being competent simply means when you can elongate the convo "just a little bit". After you ask for the time and she responds... Throw out a statement about something that stands out about her that made you come over. Could be a scarf... Earrings... anything! Then you get some ramble going about it. As a Newbie you'll run out of things to say in the beginning... Then you'll eventually get better. That's when you'll have to learn how to create attraction in the Daytime! Strongly recommend you post in the approach threads for your future questions. Guys will help you out!
Reply
#47

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

OP starts bullshit thread, then Comte, Noir and Distant Light all came in dropping gold. And I'm here shedding manly tears of brotherly love:

[Image: aeNYLMO_460sa.gif]


Here' what I think is funny about social circles: if your read the gold posts above, you realize that all the people who could benefit the most from them, don't actually need social circles.

Things they have in common:
-already know how to get girls outside social circles
-have social values and provide values to others
-actually care or take an active interest in other people

I feel like the last point is where lots of people struggle. I have the capacity to mount and run a social circle, but I can never hold it for long because I just don't really care about others that much. And if you don't care, it's very difficult to pretend to care for the long term.

My buddy who serves as the gatekeeper of our group actually gives a shit. He doesn't mind doing lots of things for social circle maintenance that I just can't be bothered to do. Needless to say he reaps the most fruits but he spends the most effort.

What I would like to see discuss more is HOW to provide or show values for social circle games. I often find that I want to speed things up with some certain groups but if I'm too eager to invite them out/provide values then people tend to appreciate it less. Not even sure what questions I want to ask here, or if it can even be taught.

P/S: can't hammer enough on the DISCRETION part. If somebody fucks it up in social circle it is ALWAYS because they can't keep their mouth shut. We all know how superior you feel when you swoop the chicks everyone is pining on, but shut up. If confronted admit nothing, deny everything and make counter accusation.

Ass or cash, nobody rides for free - WestIndiArchie
Reply
#48

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

There is a lot of difference between the US and rest of the world.

Situations are different.
Reply
#49

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Where did you do your MBA ?
Sounds like you went to the wrong school.
You could have gone to somewhere exciting and people are more open minded, like Europe for example. I know someone who went to Spain and had a good time.
Reply
#50

Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.

Sigh...... going to be the bigger man here and take the high road because of the value this thread has already brought to many as well as the potential value it can bring. I've learned a lot and thanked the posters that made the quality posts, will be reading this thread many times.

There are a few points addressed on this thread that I wanted to talk about. I am practically a newb to social circle game because I was a late bloomer with game and didn't really come into my own until I graduated college and moved out into the real world, in a slump now obviously.

About the volunteering part guys mentioned and then bringing up the whole blue-haired SJW stereotype, my issue has been the where to find the quality as well.

I know everyone says the whole "you attract who you are" (more on that later) statement but I too have had this issue. Its almost like all of the people a lot of us would want to associate with are all flocking to one activity and I kind of always feel out of the loop on a lot of that. I can genuinely relate with the concern members here have of where to look and someone made the sales analogy, a part of business is also the where instead of the how.

Maybe I am looking at it from a different perspective but from my experience, it seems like a lot of social crews that formed had that one bonding experience that brought them all together or at least some similarities in the crews they run with. Now I have had opportunities for that but the only successful one was with my roommates in NYC. Most of the other ones did not pan out because the people were too uptight and traditional types that looked down on things you're supposed to enjoy with youth (going out, having some drinks, partying, etc.).

A part of me cannot help but think that stuff like location and lifestyle you choose has an impact on it all. Had I lived in flyover country or suburbia after college, no way I could have had the experiences I had socially in my early 20s. I know its a complicated topic but I think common sense can work here too, not going to be partying with supermodels if your hobbies involve LARPing. Then again given how novice I am here, I could be looking at it from the wrong angle.

About being a quality guy yourself....

I used to feel that way too but just looking around, so many of the dudes I see that are a part of these crews are not exactly a Hemsworth brother in terms of looks. In fact I've seen more than a number of guys, even the younger ones, who had nothing special going for them in terms of looks yet were a part of these types of crowds. Now granted I spent a lot of my life in flyover country so for the Californians on this thread, it might be somewhat of a shock.

My belief about being the best version of yourself is to do it regardless of whether pussy and social life are concerned or not. I have mixed feelings about your looks and the kind of social life it can bring because countless times throughout my life I have seen guys who were uglier and not even that charismatic on the surface have luck with social circle game because of their circumstances.

I always try to find out what a man can control in his life but with social circle game, so much of it has seemed like dumb luck to me so far. Guy grew up in the right areas and had rich parents so he was friends with other rich kids in his adolescence, hence he is set. Some guy got lucky in his school days and ran with the right social crews so he is well off now.

Going out having fun has not worked that well.

It just seems like most of these people who come out in their crews are tight with their crews throughout, they don't want outsiders breaking in. To some degree it makes sense because if you're a guy, you don't want extra competition from other men. It seems like a case of if you already have the quality crew yourself, its the only way other crews will give you a shot. Then that comes back to what Dalaran said, the guys who need it the least are the only ones who seem to be able to get it.

Outside of a rare exception, its been my personal struggle even when I have done well in the game. This thread will be read by me many times due to how rich in information it is.

Outside of my time in NYC in my early 20s where I just lucked out having awesome roommates, social circle game has been a giant hurdle for me. I feel like even when I have done well in the game through dating apps and bar game, I've struggled socially for the most part. Always on the outside looking in during my adolescence and college days, never a part of the crews where the fun was going on and the hot girls were gathering near.

Definitely a lifelong journey for me to try and fix this because I have had issues with it for most of my life. Either I was with the boring home bodies that had a grudge against going out and having fun, the uptight morally self-righteous people (religious folks if you're in flyover country) or just deciding to isolate myself because that was better than dealing with the less fun people out there.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)