If I think about it, the happiest times in my life was when I was part of a group of guys with the same interests and who stuck together, helped eachother and basicly shared everything with eachother (no homer). It was when I played soccer during child-hood, all the tournaments and soccer-camps. But it was also when I was into eSport for a couple of years in my late teens and early twenties.

Its like I have a strong urge to be a "part" of a male group, but as it is right now Im basicly completely lonely and I dont know how to find a new one.

Some times I watch shows like Sons of Anarchy and dream my self away how awesome it must be to be part of a group of guys like that, like a brother-hood. I think its in males DNA really, and it makes our life quality much better and maybe even increase our self esteem.

In norwegian male, late twenties, and it feels like guys in general are so "cold" and difficult to connect with.

Is it possible to find/form a "brotherhood" at this age, how do you do it? Anyone in here have done it?

They got the hells angels in Norway: https://hells-angels.no

Step one: Get a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Then ride it to whatever bar they hang around. Just start making friends.

Aloha!

Meetups on this forum.
Proud Boys (Gavin McInnes men's club)
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meetup.com and play the numbers and find a red pill buddy
Trump Rally's
Join a church
Be a regular at a club

The world is your oyster.

ever since reading the way of men I've been dying to have a crew err..... gang I mean.

Quote: (02-12-2017 12:36 AM)ShotgunUppercuts Wrote:  

ever since reading the way of men I've been dying to have a crew err..... gang I mean.

Yeah, just imagine being a part of like the vikings back in the day, or just some other random crew these days. Or maybe a cool army, something like that.

Life must become so much more interesting and rewarding.

Military service?

I agree that the value of a brotherhood these days is not recognized anymore. Guys will without shame pick their girlfriends over their bros, not make time for friends, etc.

I too am struggling to find guys of value, people who share your interests and know the value of friendship. Perhaps we live in times that are too easy. We don't fight no big wars anymore, there are no great dramas that make it necessary for guys to stick together and for girls to see men for what they are, the front line when adversity strikes. One of the few ways you can still experience some form of brotherhood is through sports, but indeed for some reason beyond my understanding, a lot of guys think around 25 is a good age to not participate in sports anymore.

So what to do? Meetups from the forum are definitely a good idea. Most members I've met are certainly of a different kind of breed and guys I can relate to. Other then that, go through the masculine hobbies, go boxing or mountain climbing and you can find interesting people. Go out a lot and someone will stick, although it can take time and patience. And whatever you do, never let a random bar slut come in between the bond with friends, it's never worth it.

pick up a hobby, pursue it. That's the best organic way.

The longest lasting friendships I've maintained have been based around shared interests/hobbies.

I find it increasingly hard to maintain friendships from college because I don't share any hobbies with those guys.

The first reply was bang-on.

Buy a motorcycle. Seriously, it's amazing how fraternal other riders will be.

I was stranded on the side of an icy highway a while back. An older guy with a big black truck hauling two Harleys in back and a sexy lady riding shotgun stopped to help me out.

I was at a motorcycle shop when a record producer with the same bike as me rolled through. We got to chatting and exchanged numbers to go for a ride sometime.

I bought a bike from a Brazilian guy who suggested that I hit him up if I'm ever riding in the area again and looking for a buddy to ride with.

I met an adventure rider in the lobby of a New England dealership's service department. After ten minutes of chatting, he asked me if I want to ride out to Alaska with him.

When I bought my first bike, I had some buyer's remorse. A couple days later, I was walking by the Hell's Angels clubhouse in lower Manhattan and I stopped to ask for advice from the guy watching the bikes parked outside. He told me about his first bike, shared his thoughts for a few minutes, and said, "it's a good bike. Just ride the shit out of it."

Motorcycles make men feel comfortable meeting each other because nobody feels vulnerable when they're talking about tires, oil, rim sizes, engine configuration, safety gear and nasty spills they have taken.

I had a guy the other day come up to me when I pulled into a gas station. He owns the place, but he spent 25 years as a mechanic at a dealership. Chatted about my lights and the bikes he has owned, then went back to work the counter when another customer walked in.

The only other hobbies I have that even come close are photography and travel. Even then, talking about photography can make you feel like a nerd, and talking about travel can make you feel like a boastful douche. Motorcycles just make you feel cool.

+1 for motorcycles.

There seems to be some sort of unspoken rule that anyone who rides a motorcycle will help out another motorcyclist in need. It's like an "us vs the cars" mentality. You'll see this when you start riding and almost every other motorcyclist will nod as they drive past you.

I got a flat front tyre at 2am in the middle of bumblefuck nowhere one time. I was stranded, half an hour later a guy in a van pulls over. Turns out he was a motorcyclist too, he helps me load the bike into the back of his van and drove me 10 miles home, completely out of his way. Wouldn't accept any money for it, just kept saying he would have wanted someone else to do the same for him.

If I can buy a motorcycle this summer I think I would.

Hell,it would be much more fun than what I have now.

I figured the more I went out to bars n stuff I'd meet friends or potential tribe members but I'll also take the advice from here too.

While I appreciate the question.

I have a question for you.

What do you offer?

I am not trying to pick on the OP. This thread could be a good one. Everything I write below is in the general you, not the OP.

But many guys are always talking asking about getting things they want. But what do you offer anyone? Relationships, or at least meaningful ones that LAST, require you being able to provide, for the lack of a better word, value. Or at least some qualities that are admirable, like loyalty, wisdom, humor, selflessness. While these qualities may not be needed for the internet, they are needed for deeper friendships, for a crew of guys.

Slight tangent if I may, my business partner has been around, seen much. Life experiences, I can't share publicly. I asked him one time about this brotherhood topic. Because I have noticed, I don;t ever roll with more than 2 or 3 guys tops. Usually, I am a one on one sort of guy.

What happens the bigger the group, the likelihood that one of the guys will be a weaker contributor. Your tight crew will fight to see who pays the tab when you go out, etc. But you get big enough and you will get a guy that never seems to pay. And it wouldn't be the amount that is the paid, it is the action of paying. Maybe he picks on the cheaper bills (dinner, drinks, whatever) out and not the heavy ones (front row NBA tix, etc.) But a guy shows willingness to sacrifice how he can.

And the richer guys may refuse the offer, but they ALL remember the guy offered to do something, particularly if you know that the meal, whatever, would hurt a little. Guys remember. If you are the rich dude that never pays, guys remember that also.

Just a small example of why tight crews can't get too big. Now if it is like a fraternity type brotherhood, then sure it can be bigger because even in frats not all guys get along. But they share the desire to be in a fraternity and the benefits of being in a fraternity, so guys overlook some things like dicks in the frat. But in a tight crew, guys won't overlook stuff.

What do you have to offer? Or what are you genuinely interested in. Guys who are serious about their hobbies and interests can sense if you are sincere in your interests. And why would anyone take on something they are not generally interested in?

I wish you the best OP. Great question.

Quote: (02-11-2017 08:06 PM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  

Meetups on this forum.
Proud Boys (Gavin McInnes men's club)
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meetup.com and play the numbers and find a red pill buddy
Trump Rally's
Join a church
Be a regular at a club

The world is your oyster.

Awesome suggestions Thrill Jackson.
From my experience - BJJ is the way to go!
Been going 5 to 6 days a week for the last 4 months and I'm having the time of my life.
Making friends with some of the coolest dudes I have ever met.
Forget about the word "Group" - in BJJ you will feel like you belong to a Tribe/Team.

BJJ/MMA is good choice. I met there my best friend and I must say I never felt stronger bond than this.

I used to think that becoming a musician was a great way to build a "band of brothers." Now, years later, I realize that the left-wing tendencies of musicians are an obstacle to long-term friendship. Most of my musician friends have become drug addicts, beta-male husbands, or virtue signalling dummies on FakeBook. It's sad, really.

I second the emotion of previous posters with regards to masculine pursuits: i.e. motorcycle clubs. I also think that gym partners are an excellent arena to find new friends. A lot of guys that are in shape are looking for work-out partners. The desire to maintain your physique is also directly tied to your outlook on life - if you're concerned about a healthy body, then you're more likely to be concerned about the health of the society at large.

At the end of the day, the responsibility falls on our shoulders to initiate these new friendships. We should be the ones making the suggested itineraries. Like most things in life, the proactive plan is the best one.

Quote: (02-16-2017 10:07 AM)ScrapperTL Wrote:  

Quote: (02-11-2017 08:06 PM)Thrill Jackson Wrote:  

Meetups on this forum.
Proud Boys (Gavin McInnes men's club)
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Meetup.com and play the numbers and find a red pill buddy
Trump Rally's
Join a church
Be a regular at a club

The world is your oyster.

Awesome suggestions Thrill Jackson.
From my experience - BJJ is the way to go!
Been going 5 to 6 days a week for the last 4 months and I'm having the time of my life.
Making friends with some of the coolest dudes I have ever met.
Forget about the word "Group" - in BJJ you will feel like you belong to a Tribe/Team.

I second this, it's a warrior brotherhood, the kind men were meant to have, and I think it's a lot healthier than hanging out with Hell's Angels. And if you ever get good at any one aspect of Mixed Martial Arts, it's super cool when your sparring partners are fighting on TV. Other guys say "We won!" and I think "You didn't win shit, a sports team full of pampered millionaires from out of town won, you weren't part of the coaching staff, you weren't part of the practices". When your team wins in MMA, you DID win. Heck, if you're a good wrestler/BJJer wrking with an elite striker, you might be kicking his ass and coaching him when he's working your specialty.

100% hand down with a motorcycle - you meet all sorts of people.

Hell my last girl rode a bike.

I've met some super chill dudes, all of them are enthusiastic about riding, whenever they can, wherever they can.

It actually makes me want to get a bigger bike with a bigger tank for long cruises.

There's always the Freemasons:

So many good responses in here, Im gonna try respond to you all but I have a question regarding BJJ:

Is it too late to start it and become decent at 28? Ive actually always been pretty good "naturally" at wrestling, I competed in judo when I was a kid and won alot of medals, but Im not sure if that translates to BJJ skill.

Also, is BJJ recommended before judo in terms of the "brotherhood" feeling you get with a team?

I remember seeing some health study recently showing how a man's mental health is MORE dependent on male bonding than time spent with a female partner.

You see this shit manifest itself in negative ways all the time. Men who dedicate themselves to their jobs in order to provide for their wife and kids only to find that there's no outlet for their work-related stresses when they come home. It's just more bullshit they gotta deal with and it visibly ages them.

My closest bros are these 3 guys I met at work a few years back. Our core hobbies we bond over are the same: outdoor sports, travel, and conventions/events. We take skiing trips together, one of my boys is into rock-climbing so he got us all into that, another is a surfer so we hit up the waves together, and the last runs his own events stage mgmt company so we got to tons of events all over for next to nothing.

Just go talk to other dudes and get involved in activities that genuinely excite you.

Not everyone has to do MMA or ride motorcycles. Do shit that you like, find your tribe, don't look back.

Quote: (02-17-2017 05:15 PM)Realbor Wrote:  

So many good responses in here, Im gonna try respond to you all but I have a question regarding BJJ:

Is it too late to start it and become decent at 28?

Got a broken back from military. Middle age dude here my friend. No; its not too late. Phenoms like Victor Belfort at 19yrs old aside, you'll get 'decent' soon enough if ya put in the work, just like any other skill set you'll find talked about on these boards. Depends on how far you want to take it, all other factors considered.

And really, whats your definition or litmus test / standard at being 'decent'? 'Win' a street fight? Holding a certain belt? Compete at Bellator?

You got Judo down it sounds like. I look at it like learning to shoot effectively. Some of the skill based tools in your tool box different instructors will give you you'll use; some you won't. Depends on your body mechanics, drive, style, and work ethic as you well know. I trained for a summer with a small town police judo team in Japan after being trained for a few years in submission/BJJ during what I believe was the inception period of Gracie BJJ, Shamrock submission in the US. (early 90's, northern CA)

Got Crushed lol. Great learning experience at identifying my deficiencies in the things Judo's know for.

Regardless, try it out, adjust fire as needed man. The brotherhood we all yearn for will naturally happen when good men share a common goal. It's damn near inevitable. The depth of that bond however, that depends on four things:

How much you sweat bleed piss or cry with teammates during your exertions in pursuit of the tasks at hand....

Take risks and put yourself out there. Back home, aside from RVF guys, I felt very alienated from other people. I feel a lot better in Asia. The expats are a lot more like me and I find that I can walk into a new place and make at least 1 new friend.

My advice would be to leave where you are and try some place new. Perhaps you've outgrown your surroundings and need a new challenge.

Where you find new challenges you find new friends.

I feel for ya man. I just moved to a new city where I don't know anyone. Good thread idea and good responses. Having male friends is an extremely important part of life.

There are no easy answers.

The older you get the harder it is. When younger (childhood/adolescence/college years) there are a lot of common new experiences and struggles. Less so unless you're in combat in the army. Also many people are out for what they can get from you (eg networking for career advancement.) One source of friendship is displaced people (large university where incoming freshmen are from all over the US and don't know anyone) or recent immigrants. Though if you're friendly to newcomers and are anative or long term resident many will be friendly at first to use you for help and advice and drop you when they know more people. Sad but true. No easy answers.