So it's been a long time since I've posted regularly, and a lot has happened in my.time away. Lately I've had some pretty big game related issues that's affecting my ability to enjoy my sex/life and this is the only place I know to turn to for advice on this.

I'm in my early 20's and while by forum standards my notch count isn't huge I've fucked more girls and racked up more flags than any guy I know my age. Lately though I went through a extended dry spell. It was a combination of being too busy with other things to pay much attention to girls, and because I got tired of fucking around and thought I wanted to be in a relationship again. So I stopped going for the bang on the first date and tried to date with looking for a girlfriend in mind, which ended costing me getting no bangs at all and finding no one I wanted to lock down.

Eventually I realised what was going on and now I'm back to my old ways and being rewarded for it, but now I've hit another conundrum. I no longer get any kind of kick what so ever from adding another notch to my bedpost. At the same time, I've realised that while I can still enjoy casual sex, it's only if I'm into the girl personality wise. If not, then once the physical act of having sex is over I just want to leave. I don't feel any kind of dopamine or serotonin spike more than what you'd get after a good jerk off. I would probably have more fun eating a nice meal or reading a book.

Adding to this, my standards have gone up with experience and realising that I'm actually good looking and a naturally charismatic guy, which is a far cry from how I used to view myself. Dating the sweet shy 6 feels beneath me now when in my teenage years I would have busted my ass just for a 2 minute fuck with a 5. Worse, I find the very qualities that make these sweet shy types good girlfriends boring now, the sheltered naivety and lack in the way of interesting life experience or things to talk about. I used to be very into innocent sweet types (and they're still particularly attracted to me) and dated quite a lot of these kinds of girls before, but now they're not doing anything for me either.

In contrast the last girl I banged whom I actually got excited about and enjoyed being with was a tattoed hipster nympho who sells MDMA, which is obviously not the kind of person you'd want for anything more than a fuckbuddy. I've gotten to the stage in my game where I can literally just be myself and attract 7/10 white girls as a brown guy without having to consciously "do" anything game wise. But now I'm stuck only being able to enjoy being with girls who have a level of novelty from being eccentric or dangerous or a flag or race I haven't been with yet.

Looking back, I've been wondering if my recent dry spell and lack of interest in fucking was because I already knew this subconsciously, so my brain decided to stop exerting time and energy on something it knew was unlikely to give me that payoff in the reward centre in my brain. It's a perverse hedonic treadmill and I don't know what to do about it. I don't care whether I'm in a relationship or having casual sex anymore, I just want to be able to enjoy and be motivated in my love life again. But I'm completely lost as to what to do about it.

Don't fret, you're still relatively young. At your age it is normal to be interested in tattooed hipster chicks. You're not at a point where you're ready to settle down.

Now is the time to set yourself up for the future. Treat women as a side dish. Once you enter your late 20s, you'll be more attracted to sweeter, shy chicks, especially if they are younger. Like when you're 28, find a nice 22yr old who wants to settle down. Right now you are too young to know how it feels to date someone much younger than you. But once you experience this, you'll feel that drive to become a provider and protector. And also it will create stronger sexual attraction.

1) Take a big long break from sluts in general. I mean to the point where if your guy friends are hanging out with some, don't go.

2) If you look at porn now also is the time to stop.

3) If you go out to raves and do MDMA, coke, smoke weed, or lots of alcohol now is also the time to stop.

You pretty much need to make your life more 'boring' as far as MSM society perceives it on purpose so that simple things regain pleasure. You fried the pleasure centers of your mind.

You've had your fill (perhaps for now) of just meaningless sex and are looking for something a little more fulfilling. Nothing wrong with that. Just a sign of growing up. It sounds to me as if you are maturing young Grasshopper.

Don't sweat it.

I think I'm at a somewhat similar level. Mid twenties, good physique, good style, decent game. Building attraction and scoring is not a life or death question anymore. At this point, it's more about who do you want to bang than whether or not you can bang.

If this were BJJ, we would be at blue or purple belt level. What that means is we're not spazzing white belt noobs anymore, who still need to be remembered to breathe, not break their training parts limbs, not go full out and get hurt, use good technique, put the time in, etc.

We're at the point that we're comfortable with the basics and can now start to explore different styles, techniques, flavors.

Eventually, if we keep at it, we can reach black belt level, with our own unique style - and become masters of the game. But the exploratory period is key to reaching the highest level.

Our tastes change over time, often cyclically. No need to worry about wanting to explore new territories when it comes to girls.

Don't take any long term harmful decisions - get a hoe pregnant; contract a permanent STD; shell out thousands of dollars on a girl; burn bridges with friends/family over a relationship; get arrested or develop a drug addiction.

Other than that, at this age almost everything in moderation seems reasonable.

Why would you not do some MDMA and bang the hipster chick?

If there's a time to do it, it's now.

I think this is a stage we all go through.

Some advice:

Get off the drugs (wrecking your dopamine channels)
Moderate/eliminate the pron for the same reason

Nothing wrong with realising your worth and not settling for 5-6s anymore, but stay at the top of your game and chase 8s

Be selective and actually date, find a chick that you are into instead of going for the hollow bangs.

Some guys on here happy with the endless meaningless bang, but you and I need a bit more of a connection, and there's nothing wrong with that... the sex is way better.

However, be wary of falling into Oneitis with this, and don't get screwed over with a marriage or pregnancy!

Relax, you are young and will find your way, don't worry and enjoy this years.

Start aiming higher - go for gold, I say. You're not interested in the 7s or below any more because they no longer challenge you, you can already get them with no effort. Go for the 9s and 10s, the kind you'd remember for the rest of your days fondly.

If even the 9s and 10s no longer interest you, then something's probably wrong. Early 20s my hormones were raging, all I could think of was poon. You shouldn't be sick of high quality poon ever, sure as hell not in your early 20s.

Now you might meet 9s and 10s that aren't relationship quality, but if you can consistently score with them, then congrats, your game or whatever else you have goin on that enables it is on point, lol.

Your frame of mind sounds the exact same as mine around October last year. I'm 24yo and smashed 34 girls in 2016 going out 3-4 times a week... but also smashing the sauce, MDMA and xanax in the meanwhile.

My advice: Take a fucking break from the club/ bar scene.


I realised how detrimental my lifestyle was to not only the girls that I had in my life... but also my health, wealth and happiness in general.

I took two months off girls instead focusing my time and energy into making money and hitting the gym... and I've come back refreshed and better game than ever.

Here's a post of mine from October, hope it helps: thread-24128...pid1416343

Ecclesiastes my man...

Query.

On some level are you starting to rate fertile, healthy, dare I say buxom women higher than you used to?

Are you starting to rate skinny, weak, euro-model types lower than you used to?

You can´t expect dating quality girlfriend, when all you can do is party and take drugs.

Sounds a bit of what I had over spring and summer. I wasn't travelling as much, but I was definitely laying a lot of pipe, drinking and doing some drugs. Nothing super hardcore though and combine all that with porn and fapping was a recipe for my disaster. As soon as the dry spell hit, my shit tanked. Hard. I stopped hitting the gym, hardly went out, jerked off way too much, never cleaned my place, always ordered out, came across as way too desperate with women, and nothing really gave me joy.

I could tell my dopamine levels dropped. I was in a depression. Now it's slowly coming back. Still in a dry spell but I can feel the humidity coming with that new wet season. I stopped jerking off, I started hitting the gym and pushing myself more. Hell I even changed the music I was listening to, to feel more up beat. But I think the biggest factor is time. Let your shit recover.

And welcome back!

Quote: (01-04-2017 01:44 PM)Travesty Wrote:  

1) Take a big long break from sluts in general. I mean to the point where if your guy friends are hanging out with some, don't go.

2) If you look at porn now also is the time to stop.

3) If you go out to raves and do MDMA, coke, smoke weed, or lots of alcohol now is also the time to stop.

You pretty much need to make your life more 'boring' as far as MSM society perceives it on purpose so that simple things regain pleasure. You fried the pleasure centers of your mind.

Quote: (01-04-2017 05:20 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Some advice:

Get off the drugs (wrecking your dopamine channels)
Moderate/eliminate the pron for the same reason

I never stopped hanging around sluts, but a 6+ month dry spell didn't change anything. And I very rarely watch porn.

I used to smoke weed while living in The Netherlands, and then during down periods after I moved back. I quit very recently. I haven't done much drugs beyond that: psychedelics (mushrooms and LSD) half a dozen times and MDMA twice across my entire life. Never done coke, speed or ket although I've had opportunities. I don't get drunk often either. Obviously weed makes you lazy which is why I quit, but I don't think my smoking semi-regularly was enough to mess up my pleasure centers like say doing a lot of MDMA would.

Quote: (01-05-2017 03:21 AM)Prof. Ligate Wrote:  

Your frame of mind sounds the exact same as mine around October last year. I'm 24yo and smashed 34 girls in 2016 going out 3-4 times a week... but also smashing the sauce, MDMA and xanax in the meanwhile.

My advice: Take a fucking break from the club/ bar scene.


I realised how detrimental my lifestyle was to not only the girls that I had in my life... but also my health, wealth and happiness in general.

I took two months off girls instead focusing my time and energy into making money and hitting the gym... and I've come back refreshed and better game than ever.

Here's a post of mine from October, hope it helps: thread-24128...pid1416343

Quote: (01-05-2017 06:07 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  

You can´t expect dating quality girlfriend, when all you can do is party and take drugs.

I never said I was into party drugs or the club scene. I think you guys are making assumptions based off that 1 girl I banged who deals md (who I met off Tinder). I went to a nightclub maybe half a dozen times in 2016, and not once with the purpose of gaming. All of my lays these days come from school, Tinder, bars or social circle.

Quote: (01-05-2017 05:31 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Query.

On some level are you starting to rate fertile, healthy, dare I say buxom women higher than you used to?

Are you starting to rate skinny, weak, euro-model types lower than you used to?

Nahh, I've always been very into the skinny type. I like a nice ass but of all my mates I've always had the lowest threshold for "thick" girls and that hasn't changed. Why do you ask?

Quote: (01-05-2017 07:29 AM)Snowplow Wrote:  

And welcome back!

Why thank you.

Quote: (01-05-2017 07:42 AM)Deluge Wrote:  

...

Quote: (01-05-2017 05:31 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Query.

On some level are you starting to rate fertile, healthy, dare I say buxom women higher than you used to?

Are you starting to rate skinny, weak, euro-model types lower than you used to?

Nahh, I've always been very into the skinny type. I like a nice ass but of all my mates I've always had the lowest threshold for "thick" girls and that hasn't changed. Why do you ask?
...

Thought you might be going into stud mode.

Personally I hit a point in my life a while back where I started to prioritise the kind of assets a successful breeder would have. Not deliberately mind you. It just kind of happened.

Quote: (01-04-2017 01:07 PM)Deluge Wrote:  

Eventually I realised what was going on and now I'm back to my old ways and being rewarded for it, but now I've hit another conundrum. I no longer get any kind of kick what so ever from adding another notch to my bedpost. At the same time, I've realised that while I can still enjoy casual sex, it's only if I'm into the girl personality wise. If not, then once the physical act of having sex is over I just want to leave. I don't feel any kind of dopamine or serotonin spike more than what you'd get after a good jerk off. I would probably have more fun eating a nice meal or reading a book.

The issue lies in the fact that although your body and soul are telling you that banging boring hoes just for the story is a waste of time and energy, you aren't mentally OK with it. Do you feel the need to go on meaningless dates or seek depressing casual sex because you're so horny that you're balls are about to expode, or because you feel like a loser if you don't get laid/find strange for a few weeks? I know the latter has pushed me to chase pussy when all signs tell me not to. I turned down more pussy in 2016 than I have in my entire life. Nowadays, I'll eat the nice meal, read the book, enjoy hobbies, or hang out with my friends/family unless something really exciting comes along. And I still get the occasional wave of insecurity that this makes me less of a man, low-T, uncool, etc.

There are plenty of good people willing to help you out here, but in general, the forum might be one of the worst places to hang out if you are beginning to question why you are pursuing meaningless sex. If you are constantly reading about (seemingly) happy guys banging 40 girls in a 3 months on a SEA vacation or having a 7 girl harem, it can make you feel like you're doing something wrong if you don't spend 30 hours per week having and pursuing sex.

Quote: (01-04-2017 01:07 PM)Deluge Wrote:  

So it's been a long time since I've posted regularly, and a lot has happened in my.time away. Lately I've had some pretty big game related issues that's affecting my ability to enjoy my sex/life and this is the only place I know to turn to for advice on this.

I'm in my early 20's and while by forum standards my notch count isn't huge I've fucked more girls and racked up more flags than any guy I know my age. Lately though I went through a extended dry spell. It was a combination of being too busy with other things to pay much attention to girls, and because I got tired of fucking around and thought I wanted to be in a relationship again. So I stopped going for the bang on the first date and tried to date with looking for a girlfriend in mind, which ended costing me getting no bangs at all and finding no one I wanted to lock down.

Eventually I realised what was going on and now I'm back to my old ways and being rewarded for it, but now I've hit another conundrum. I no longer get any kind of kick what so ever from adding another notch to my bedpost. At the same time, I've realised that while I can still enjoy casual sex, it's only if I'm into the girl personality wise. If not, then once the physical act of having sex is over I just want to leave. I don't feel any kind of dopamine or serotonin spike more than what you'd get after a good jerk off. I would probably have more fun eating a nice meal or reading a book.

Adding to this, my standards have gone up with experience and realising that I'm actually good looking and a naturally charismatic guy, which is a far cry from how I used to view myself. Dating the sweet shy 6 feels beneath me now when in my teenage years I would have busted my ass just for a 2 minute fuck with a 5. Worse, I find the very qualities that make these sweet shy types good girlfriends boring now, the sheltered naivety and lack in the way of interesting life experience or things to talk about. I used to be very into innocent sweet types (and they're still particularly attracted to me) and dated quite a lot of these kinds of girls before, but now they're not doing anything for me either.

In contrast the last girl I banged whom I actually got excited about and enjoyed being with was a tattoed hipster nympho who sells MDMA, which is obviously not the kind of person you'd want for anything more than a fuckbuddy. I've gotten to the stage in my game where I can literally just be myself and attract 7/10 white girls as a brown guy without having to consciously "do" anything game wise. But now I'm stuck only being able to enjoy being with girls who have a level of novelty from being eccentric or dangerous or a flag or race I haven't been with yet.

Looking back, I've been wondering if my recent dry spell and lack of interest in fucking was because I already knew this subconsciously, so my brain decided to stop exerting time and energy on something it knew was unlikely to give me that payoff in the reward centre in my brain. It's a perverse hedonic treadmill and I don't know what to do about it. I don't care whether I'm in a relationship or having casual sex anymore, I just want to be able to enjoy and be motivated in my love life again. But I'm completely lost as to what to do about it.

As I've found out in life, it's good to take a step (or three) back on pretty much everything...hoe acquisition included. Nothing wrong with it.

Sounds like you need a break, badly. Listen to your gut, pull back, recharge the batteries and see where you're at.

Quote: (01-05-2017 09:41 AM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  

The issue lies in the fact that although your body and soul are telling you that banging boring hoes just for the story is a waste of time and energy, you aren't mentally OK with it. Do you feel the need to go on meaningless dates or seek depressing casual sex because you're so horny that you're balls are about to expode, or because you feel like a loser if you don't get laid/find strange for a few weeks? I know the latter has pushed me to chase pussy when all signs tell me not to. I turned down more pussy in 2016 than I have in my entire life. Nowadays, I'll eat the nice meal, read the book, enjoy hobbies, or hang out with my friends/family unless something really exciting comes along. And I still get the occasional wave of insecurity that this makes me less of a man, low-T, uncool, etc.

There are plenty of good people willing to help you out here, but in general, the forum might be one of the worst places to hang out if you are beginning to question why you are pursuing meaningless sex. If you are constantly reading about (seemingly) happy guys banging 40 girls in a 3 months on a SEA vacation or having a 7 girl harem, it can make you feel like you're doing something wrong if you don't spend 30 hours per week having and pursuing sex.

What you're describing about feeling the need to chase pussy even when you're not horny is ringing really true for me.

I discovered game very young, I started approaching and joined this forum while I was still in high school. I wonder if that early exposure to game and RVF subconsciously messed up what my idea of what a "normal" and desirable sex life is, making me feel like I'm not getting enough notches even though consciously I know I'm already well beyond what most guys will ever get in their whole life. Because of that long dry spell I was really annoyed at how low my notch count was for 2016 even though it was still more than what most guys would, and more than any of my male friends. The worst part of the dry spell was actually more mental than physical, i.e more about thinking about how long it's been and how low my notch count was going to be in 2016 rather than how horny I was.

Don't worry it will wear off.

Next you'll forget about this and wonder how to have the most free life financially and health wise. If you are a trustfund kid or already solved those problems next you will start worrying about philosophy and the meaning of life like Roosh.

If that only takes a couple years then you will dye your hair grey, buy baggy warm old man clothes, a cute small dog with a bandana, and wait to die.

:0

Um, yeah you're supposed to want to leave after sex lol.

You're fine.