Quote: (01-04-2017 04:24 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

This thread was actually supposed to be about how to get the money in my hands, and what to do with it afterwards. The only reason I am focusing on my relationship with my dad is because almost every single response is something to the effect of "your dad is obviously a good father, and you're obviously just a fuck up and a terrible son who resents him for no good reason."

You're right, the point is to prove my dad wrong and use the money wisely. To not fuck up, as you put it.

This could be a big opportunity for me, but I obviously have to be careful and be responsible, or it could turn into just another fuck up that I will come to regret.

I have no problem with people telling me that (as you have done). Obviously, it's not going to be easy, and I'm going to have to work hard.

On the other hand, what I do have a problem with is everyone telling me "You're obviously going to fuck up, so don't even try. Just stay at your dad's house and let him take care of you." I thought this forum was about self-improvement and self-reliance.

I think most of the people in the thread (who aren't piling on) are taking the tough love approach. This forum doesn't pull punches and tends to call bullshit without fear unlike a lot of other places. And if you've seen someone young squander money - especially where substance abuse is involved - you tend to be somewhat jaded about the future prospects.

Your initial intent may have been to figure out how to get control of the bonds, but internet forums don't necessarily work that way. Pretty much everyone on RVF believes in the importance of a strong father figure and so some of the reaction is inevitable when you're coming off like someone disrespectful of the 'institution'. I do think some of it is unfair and the perspective of someone with a loving and attentive father can be very different. If you're thinking about a family of your own, I hope you're taking notes.

As far as proving your dad wrong, take whatever motivation out of it you can. I said before, whether you re-issue the bonds or play out some ruse at the bank, your concern really needs to be making sure you take the opportunity and make the most of it. Don't squander it. You want to start a family? This is training wheel stuff. Make smart financial decisions. Have an appropriate future time orientation. Don't fuck it up.

Found OPs source for his arguments:

Most of us have been on internet forums for quite some time and are adept at discerning whether people are genuinely interested in advice or merely looking for strangers to validate their opinions and decisions. By now, it's clear to just about everyone that you fall into the latter camp. When people didn't validate you like you'd hoped, you got defensive and wrote reams of justifications/rationalizations/explanations as to why you're right and we should be more sympathetic to your perspective.

RVF is a great place precisely because people here will call you on your shit in a way that most people never will, whether online or in real life.

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:34 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Found OPs source for his arguments:

You forgot the leader of his arguments.

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:08 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I just expect people to speak to me respectfully and to give constructive advice instead of just telling me how much of a fuck up and an asshole I am.

So with all due respect, Rob Banks, take the money.

From the standpoint of a dude that recently lost his old man, make things right.

Family should always come before money, and you guys got it fucked up right now.

Just make things right, because he's not gonna be around forever.

Aloha!

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:28 PM)kmhour Wrote:  

I think most of the people in the thread (who aren't piling on) are taking the tough love approach. This forum doesn't pull punches and tends to call bullshit without fear unlike a lot of other places. And if you've seen someone young squander money - especially where substance abuse is involved - you tend to be somewhat jaded about the future prospects.

Your initial intent may have been to figure out how to get control of the bonds, but internet forums don't necessarily work that way. Pretty much everyone on RVF believes in the importance of a strong father figure and so some of the reaction is inevitable when you're coming off like someone disrespectful of the 'institution'. I do think some of it is unfair and the perspective of someone with a loving and attentive father can be very different. If you're thinking about a family of your own, I hope you're taking notes.

As far as proving your dad wrong, take whatever motivation out of it you can. I said before, whether you re-issue the bonds or play out some ruse at the bank, your concern really needs to be making sure you take the opportunity and make the most of it. Don't squander it. You want to start a family? This is training wheel stuff. Make smart financial decisions. Have an appropriate future time orientation. Don't fuck it up.

I appreciate you giving me a serious response.

I understand the whole "tough love" and "calling people out on their bullshit" thing. I really do. That's one of the things I actually like about this forum.

I also understand the whole "respecting your father" thing. It is only natural that most people here would think I'm an asshole for not respecting my dad. It is interesting, though, that some of the people who were more understanding of my situation were people who don't have good relationships with their fathers.

What I don't like is when people just call me names or post insulting GIFs without offering any constructive criticism at all, when I've done my best to speak to everyone as respectfully as possible.

I guess people are gonna post what they want, though, and it's no use getting mad or frustrated about it.

You're absolutely right that this is an opportunity to prove my dad wrong and begin to build a life for myself, and that I need to be responsible and be very careful not to squander the money.

I have actually been having doubts about going through with this, but I realize that those doubts come from a fear that I will fuck up and regret it later on Part of me would just rather stay at daddy's house and not have to worry about taking on a serious responsibility. However, I can't just keep living at home because I am afraid of what will happen if I leave. I need to just man up and take care of my shit, and that includes moving out and supporting myself financially.

I will let you know how it goes.

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:53 PM)Peregrine Wrote:  

Most of us have been on internet forums for quite some time and are adept at discerning whether people are genuinely interested in advice or merely looking for strangers to validate their opinions and decisions. By now, it's clear to just about everyone that you fall into the latter camp. When people didn't validate you like you'd hoped, you got defensive and wrote reams of justifications/rationalizations/explanations as to why you're right and we should be more sympathetic to your perspective.

RVF is a great place precisely because people here will call you on your shit in a way that most people never will, whether online or in real life.

I understand what you're saying and I agree, but I think you've got me all wrong. I think you should read over my posts and responses again.

If you go back and read what I have been saying (and not what everyone else has been saying about me), you will see that I have been very appreciative to anyone who gives me harsh advice or constructive criticism.

However, if someone just calls me a bunch of names, or someone makes assumptions about me that aren't true, I'm going to argue back. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

If what I am saying is not the case, feel free to point out any examples of anyone who gave me legitimate advice and I responded by getting defensive or argumentative. I'll be happy to admit I was wrong.

Quote: (01-04-2017 07:07 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:08 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I just expect people to speak to me respectfully and to give constructive advice instead of just telling me how much of a fuck up and an asshole I am.

So with all due respect, Rob Banks, take the money.

From the standpoint of a dude that recently lost his old man, make things right.

Family should always come before money, and you guys got it fucked up right now.

Just make things right, because he's not gonna be around forever.

Aloha!

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand.

You're saying "family comes before money," but you're telling me to take the money? Did you mean to type "don't take the money?"

Quote: (01-04-2017 07:32 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

Quote: (01-04-2017 07:07 PM)Kona Wrote:  

Quote: (01-04-2017 06:08 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I just expect people to speak to me respectfully and to give constructive advice instead of just telling me how much of a fuck up and an asshole I am.

So with all due respect, Rob Banks, take the money.

From the standpoint of a dude that recently lost his old man, make things right.

Family should always come before money, and you guys got it fucked up right now.

Just make things right, because he's not gonna be around forever.

Aloha!

I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand.

You're saying "family comes before money," but you're telling me to take the money? Did you mean to type "don't take the money?"

No. Take the money and move on. Pay your dad and start working on fixing the relationship.

Get your shit straight. Don't run out and shoot meth into your dick veins. Do something good and fix your life. Do it quickly.

Aloha!

Haven't been on in ages and look, I get a late Christmas present. A weak entitled male unwilling to pay the price for his mistakes posting as if he is the victim. Talking as if he knows what side is up. As if he is now a changed man.

It boils down to this, you have demonstrated that you are a waste of a human being with a history of terrible decision making.

You say you could get a job to pay for the car and everything else. Then just do that, the only reason you want your money is because you know you can't do it. You know if you had to stand on your own two feet, you would fail. But you talk a big game.

H1N1 has posted some extremely solid advice and observations. As have many others. You should take it to heart. And never demand advice be of a "constructive nature" - if someone on the forum has taken the time to read your posts and post a comment that they believe is helpful, then you take it and don't bitch about it.

Maybe your father knows he could have been a better father and is just trying to keep you from fucking up even more. It sounds like your family is broken and not all because of your father. You wrote something about South America. Maybe it is the money side of the family that fucked you up because they made life too easy on you (you wrote as if they would help you out - so I imagine they have at various times).

You seem to have no gratitude. That is a fatal flaw in building relationships. Among the strongest male friendships I have been in (and witnessed) gratitude and loyalty (I don't sense you are strong here either) play a major role.

You are young, you have no experience, you don't make good decisions, but on this matter about the bonds you will make the smart choice? There will be a day when your father is gone and you will regret much of what you have done to him. You may not like his choices, but few parents actually think "hey how do I fuck up my child?" They do the best they can, maybe it isn't good enough in your opinion, but they are trying because they give a shit. Don't gripe about someone who cares and is trying to help you. That means they care, it is when they stop giving you advice and trying to be involved in your life, that they don't.

Man up, pay your father back and let the rest of it sit there. Or strike a deal and ask for a few grand but not all. Then work as you say you will and DEMONSTRATE that you have your shit together. Then you will earn his trust. You gripe that he is too blue pill and that he made you who you are. You are on a forum of men that strive to be red pill. The red pill move in your situation is to start acting red pill.

I bet the first thing you do if you get all your money is to buy a few gifts for your girl and yourself and a big lavish dinner. You have no emotional control, which is another sign of a weak man. You know it and I know it that this money won't last.

You didn't earn the money, legally it is yours. But if you actually earned that much money you would know the struggle, the sweat, the pain, the blood that took to get it.

You live in fear/scarcity or else you wouldn't think that a sickly woman would be the ideal wife for you at 25. That wreaks of desperate energy.

In your heart, you know you need to suck it up and deal with some pain and pay the price for all your bad decisions, but I sense you are too much of a pussy to do it. But you just want the easy out. What happens when that money is gone? Because I guarantee that you will piss it away.

Now back to my hibernation.

P.S. If you only came with some humility, maybe the the responses would be less aggressive. You are not that great, you have not accomplished anything, and yet you have no humility.

There are countless members on this forum, who are world beaters, who have done amazing things. From serving in the military, to multi-millionaires, to people who have got their shit together and living abroad. And these great men have so much humility. Some of these guys could kill others quickly, but they are so articulate and they are in control of themselves. And then there is you.

But I want you to do well in life. I want that for everyone, especially the men on this forum. And your success doesn't hurt me, why wouldn't I want you to be successful? But the path you are headed, isn't the path to success. And yet, you can't see it. I don't know why you bothered posting, just do what you want to do, basically it just seems you wanted a lot of attention like a girl.

And I bet there are guys whose fathers have "done worse" to them who wished they would have fought to try and improve their relationships with their fathers. Family matters. Honestly, you mentioned that you wanted children. Do you honestly think you have your shit together to have kids?

If this was rough, it was intentional, seems like you have been coddled much of your life.

sam*3 is back. Christmas came after all.

Quote: (01-04-2017 08:54 PM)cascadecombo Wrote:  

sam*3 is back. Christmas came after all.

This will always be the place that helped me in my darkest moments and helped me focus on what mattered. It is partly why I posted today, I am not cool with someone acting like a little bitch on one of the few places where men are men.

I am just posting less until my rep points to post ratio improves.

What about the wishes of your Grandmother (your Father's Mother)?

1) Money be used for college
2) Her son (your Father) is to be in control of it.

If she wanted it to be a "have fun" fund, then she would've planned it out differently.

Try to remember, it's her money and her son. Respect the person who did the gesture.

The only reason the money is there at all is because your Father is her Son.

Quote: (01-04-2017 08:59 PM)Onto Wrote:  

What about the wishes of your Grandmother (your Father's Mother)?

1) Money be used for college
2) Her son (your Father) is to be in control of it.

If she wanted it to be a "have fun" fund, then she would've planned it out differently.

Try to remember, it's her money and her son. Respect the person who did that gesture for you.

For real... The disrespect not only spans generations but also beyond the grave.

Rob Banks, you need to grow up. You've got a rationalization and an excuse for everything. Enough. It's time to take responsibility for yourself as a man. You keep referring to "your money", but as others have pointed out, it's not money that you earned. You need to stop fucking around. The best advice I can give you? Pretend like that money doesn't even exist. Move out and start busting your ass to EARN some money of your own. Then you will have YOUR money.

Life is not a fucking game and it's not easy. Nobody owes you a damn thing. That's the real lesson you need to learn here. The $18k in bonds is entirely immaterial. You need to address these character flaws that are holding you back or you will continue to screw up your life with bad decision making. It doesn't matter what you or your dad did in the past. That's over and there's nothing you can do about it. Now it's time for you to move forward as a man and take sole responsibility for your life. You're 25 years old, not 15. You don't need daddy or grandma's money. What you need is a fire lit under your ass and some tough love, and that's exactly what the forum gave you in this thread. You would be wise to put the excuses, rationalizations and explanations aside for once and reflect on that.

Ultimately, you don't owe anyone here an explanation. It's that man you see in the mirror who you are accountable to every day. Your actions alone determine whether you can look that man in the eye with pride or if you turn away in shame. And I will say flat out: the path you are on right now is a shameful one. If you aren't ashamed then you should be. You need to make a change and you need to do it now, or else you will be in the same spot 10 years from now as a 35 year old with nothing going for him, a bad attitude and a list of excuses and rationalizations a mile long.

I can tell from your posts that you're a smart and thoughtful guy, Rob Banks. You should be doing much better than this. I can tell that you have a lot more in you, a lot of untapped potential that you're wasting. Just put that big brain of yours to work on proactive solutions for your life rather than on rationalizing your mistakes and bad decisions and you will be amazed how quickly things will turn around for you.

Mr. Rob

Scorpion beat me to it ... "Pretend like that money doesn't even exist."...

1. In a long run you will be much better of if you stick to the rule:
- YOUR MONEY are the ones you put sweat equity in !!!

2. Fix the situation with your father ASAP he is most likely the only person in USA who genuinely care about your future.
No money in the world could bring him back if God forbid something happened with him.
Consider it in this way what do you want 35k or your father ?

Example: Have a man to man conversation with him how he imagine your future and how you imagine it and find a common ground.
Set then a time frame when you will finish with your education and negotiate with him to use the funds for your study expenses.
If he is not pressed for cash let him keep the bonds the only way he will give it to you gladly
is when you show him you have the same amount of money in your bank made by you in a honest lawful labor activity.
Ask to reschedule your debt and start making monthly contributions from your pay check.

That's the only way you will gain his respect.

REMEMBER you have only ONE FATHER and he is the only one person who watch for your back !!!

You might end up having been married multiple times and no woman will cover your ass as your ... you guess it your FATHER.

3. Now the wife case Mr. Rob lets for a moment remove the pink spectacles and put the real life one, should we ?

Here how it breaks down as simple as that:

Bringing physically troubled wife in USA medical care is extremely costly move.
Not to mention dangerous in her country she have the support of her entire family here ???

Honestly Mr. Rob how much you made last 6 mounts how much you SAVED ?

If 0 or some minor amount that's what the chance is for your newly family to survive the next 6.

You understand that right ?

To wrap it up,
all members here are trying to help you, sure we have unique style and speak from different experience
you had the proper direction pointed to you, in your shoes I would read and make notes cose it will save
TIME, money and prevent terrible mistakes.
If someone is a bit harsh get use to it life is no less of a bit mean.

Good luck and keep as posted with your advancements.

This is just a drama queen. Nothing to do with bonds or money. Since this spoiled brat has plenty of it. The goal here is just to hurt his father due to some twisted form of revenge.
Do it cunt. Do it. It´s about time you taste a sense of the real world.

Quote: (01-05-2017 05:26 AM)chakalaka Wrote:  

This is just a drama queen. Nothing to do with bonds or money. Since this spoiled brat has plenty of it. The goal here is just to hurt his father due to some twisted form of revenge.
Do it cunt. Do it. It´s about time you taste a sense of the real world.

We may disagree with people's decisions and outlook on life, but that kind of attacking isn't appreciated around here.

I may disagree with Rob Banks, but I respect that he's able to have a constructive discussion without resorting to name-calling and all the rest.

Quote: (01-05-2017 05:39 AM)Onto Wrote:  

Quote: (01-05-2017 05:26 AM)chakalaka Wrote:  

This is just a drama queen. Nothing to do with bonds or money. Since this spoiled brat has plenty of it. The goal here is just to hurt his father due to some twisted form of revenge.
Do it cunt. Do it. It´s about time you taste a sense of the real world.

We may disagree with people's decisions and outlook on life, but that kind of attacking isn't appreciated around here.

I may disagree with Rob Banks, but I respect that he's able to have a constructive discussion without resorting to name-calling and all the rest.

Put your time in good use and let the mods do their work. I´ve been around here since 2008. And know pretty well how this forum works, it´s purpose and rules. One day I will write a post about the evolution of this forum. This forum if you want to know was created so that Roosh didn´t have to answer emails about game questions from newbies. The genesis of the forum is this. Roosh laziness in answering emails. For some reason Roosh started atrophying it with rules. Maybe it was due to it´s success. It´s still a great place where I gather incredible knowledge.

Back to the OP this is a womanish behaviour. He says things but acts differently. And because nobody called on his shit before. He continues just like a woman to push forward. To the level where his thinking of hiring attorney´s against his father. What a cunt. This is just a game in his twisted mind. And if I could enter into this computer and come out in the other side I would slap this bitch. Slap him because it´s a woman. The answer to his problem was given in the second page. Ask new certificates. That´s it. But he wants to confront his father and hurt him. It´s not about the bonds. The bonds are just an instrument to fuck his father. A father which had to endure a son with drug problems. This is unacceptable behaviour. And the OP not me should be warned. His manipulating this forum. And some called on his bullshit. Spoiled ungrateful brat. Saying the agreement to repay his father his verbal not written. I would give him the written version.
Police can´t do shit dumbass. They only can deal criminal matters not civil matters. What you just did was ruin your father reputation with the precint. Government has no business in family matters unless there´s blood.

This bitch spends 18k on a summer trip and comes here complaining about money???? For fuck sake. For fuck sake. Cut the crap.

^^^ So which previously banned member are you?

Quote: (01-05-2017 06:09 AM)kiwi12 Wrote:  

^^^ So which previously banned member are you?

This idiot spends 18k in a summer trip financed by his father and now wants to sue him for 17K. Because he needs the money????? He needs the money he just spent on a summer trip? Also we should add spending 18k´s. Or 9 k´s or whatever the real figure is.

Giving info of personal familly matters to strangers lawyers, policemans, etc. Ruining his father reputation.

I´ve changed usernames before the meetings. Since I knew it was a wrong decision from Roosh. And it would put the membership of the forum in jeopardy. Like it did. Before the meetings and this forum turning into something political I had given a lot of private info. Because in 2009 this was a small place to talk shit.

But if you want to know it was God.

It´s too obvious for me to say this differently the OP is a spoiled brat who deserves a good beating from his father. Nothing more. I wish I could say this type of things differently but I can´t it´s too fucking obvious.

Quote: (01-04-2017 08:59 PM)Onto Wrote:  

What about the wishes of your Grandmother (your Father's Mother)?

1) Money be used for college
2) Her son (your Father) is to be in control of it.

If she wanted it to be a "have fun" fund, then she would've planned it out differently.

Try to remember, it's her money and her son. Respect the person who did that gesture for you.

Actually, that's not true. The money was supposed to be used for college, but if there was money left over (or if I decided not to go to college), then my grandmother has no problem with me using the money for some other constructive purpose.

Also, she's not dead. If I asked her, she would probably say she doesn't have a problem with me having the money, but my dad would have a problem with it. She is also very old and sick, and I don't want to get her dragged into all this drama.

Lastly, who said anything about "having fun" ??????

Do you think it is fun to move out of NYC to some boring town somewhere and work full-time somewhere while attending night classes at school? That sure isn't my idea of fun.