[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 12:45 PM)kiwi12 Wrote:  

I will disagree with others.
Rob, your father sounds very similar to mine. Take the money, if you think it is necessary and GTFO as fast as possible.
Other posters can't comprehend, what it is to live under same roof with person like that.

Exactly.

I understand why everyone (well, most people) is saying what they're saying. It's just like my girl and my friends. They all thought I was exaggerating about my dad until they actually met him and had to deal with them. Afterwards, they admitted they owed me an apology.

I guess most people just think I'm complaining about my dad for being "too strict" or for expecting me to follow his rules, or some stupid bullshit like that.

Also, everyone keeps forgetting that this is my money we're talking about here. I've seen at least 5 people so far accuse me of "stealing" from my father.

[chakalaka]

The trip to SA your dad arranged was it on the time you were taking heavy drugs? Is this friend your father called related to drugs?

[kmhour]

(01-04-2017 12:01 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I appreciate the constructive criticism without any name-calling or baseless assumptions.

I have my own complicated relationship with my father that changed for the better when I moved out. In retrospect and with time and age I understand him much better, but I'm not going to judge you out of hand for some of what you're saying.

That said, I think your response to some extent is focused on the micro ("my dad is not a nice person, how am I going to claim the bonds from him") and not the macro ("how am I going to be sure I productively and successfully use this one-time windfall to position myself for the future"). I get that people are criticizing your relationship with your father so you feel defensive, but ultimately the money is yours so it's a moot point. The real point is - to put it succinctly - not fucking up everything after that.

[Elster]

Well,a couple pages ago it seems as if the issue had been already resolved?
You can do the electronic reclaim of your bonds,avoid problems with your old man and pay him back in due time as you said you would.
So ,uh,thread closed?

[H1N1]

(01-04-2017 12:55 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

(01-04-2017 12:45 PM)kiwi12 Wrote:  

I will disagree with others.
Rob, your father sounds very similar to mine. Take the money, if you think it is necessary and GTFO as fast as possible.
Other posters can't comprehend, what it is to live under same roof with person like that.

Exactly.

I understand why everyone (well, most people) is saying what they're saying. It's just like my girl and my friends. They all thought I was exaggerating about my dad until they actually met him and had to deal with them. Afterwards, they admitted they owed me an apology.

I guess most people just think I'm complaining about my dad for being "too strict" or for expecting me to follow his rules, or some stupid bullshit like that.

Also, everyone keeps forgetting that this is my money we're talking about here. I've seen at least 5 people so far accuse me of "stealing" from my father.

People aren't necessarily forgetting. There are a great many of us, I imagine, who would only regard money we'd actually earned as 'my money'. I don't regard that money as 'yours' though legally it is so. It is family money, which you should be fortunate enough to benefit from in a specific way. It's not 'pay off my car' money, or 'living expenses' money. You intend to take the money and apply it in a spirit for which it was not intended.

You feel you are entitled to it, just as you feel entitled to a father who is flawless, who eradicated all of your own defects and replaced them with nothing but strengths. Such a man doesn't exist. What you don't seem to appreciate is that you are asking the impossible from your father, and treating with contempt the one thing you really do have a right to demand, unconditional love, and the one thing he really does seem to have given you.

Your father seems to have done his best for you. I am quite prepared to believe you when you say that his best is not very good (though he does seem to have given you excellent advice from the examples you've cited). I'm not one for judging decisions based on intention rather than outcome in any aspect of life, except when it comes to family. This is an area where one must, to a quite overwhelming degree, place reason to one side and allow the heart to prevail. I don't know what lies your father told to the police, if any, but I can believe, given the way you have behaved, that he may have felt that you were going off the rails, and it was beyond his powers to help you. He may have felt that a minor police intervention would give you the shock you needed to get yourself right. I don't think that would be a very good decision on his part, and I could sympathise with why you might feel that that was a kind of betrayal. However, I think you must understand that these bad and damaging decisions can come from a place of deep and unconditional love, and the kind of despair that that love can engender in someone who loves you because you are, like it or not, theirs.

I apologise if I have been overly harsh, I'd take back the slur in my previous post if I could (the gay bit - you're still a fucking diva). I have been extraordinarily fortunate with my own father, he really is an extraordinarily able man and I have benefited beyond all measure from his influence. I don't wish to preach, but I am acutely aware of what it is to be really loved by a father, and I think you are missing some of the signs that suggest, despite some apparent betrayals, your father may in fact love you very much - or at least be trying to in the face of every setback. It is this ingratitude on your part that I find so egregious, and so aggravating that you cannot appreciate. You are on the verge of destroying the most important relationship you will ever have (given that you don't have a brother), at a point where it seems to me there is a great deal still to be salvaged - a great deal still worth salvaging!

[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 01:30 PM)H1N1 Wrote:  

I have been extraordinarily fortunate with my own father, he really is an extraordinarily able man and I have benefited beyond all measure from his influence.

I figured.

That's why it is so hard for you to understand my position, having a shitty relationship with mine.

As for the rest of your post, I appreciate you taking the time to give me advice, but I think you're off base here. I'm not saying it's bad advice, it's just that you don't know me and my dad personally.

For example, when you say that my dad probably had me arrested for my own good, thinking it would help me, that is actually not the case. He does it because he just loses his cool when he gets stressed out, and then he immediately regrets it after he calms down.

One time, several years ago, he called the cops because I had threatened him (he lied and said I had actually hit him), and told them I was carrying a bag of weed. Then, when they arrived, he had calmed down a bit, and he was begging them not to arrest me. The cops were confused by his behavior and called him stupid.

Yes, my dad obviously cares about me, but he has a tendency to get very nervous over relatively minor situations, and to make rash decisions and act selfishly when he gets nervous.

Ask anyone in my extended family and they will tell you the same thing I am saying about him.

I totally understand your tendency to think I'm just some spoiled brat who wants to complain about his daddy (especially since you have a good relationship with your father), but that's not the case with me. I really wish you could talk to my family and friends about him. It's not just me who feels this way about him, it's everyone who knows him well.

PS: I'm going to ignore the fact that you apologized for "calling me names" and then called me a "diva" in the same sentence.

[AneroidOcean]

It is VERY telling that you gave no response to my breakdown.

The reality of the matter is this. No matter HOW BAD your dad is (and it sounds like if anything it's verbal abuse at worst), he's still looking out for your best interests, even if it's in a somewhat backwards way. Nobody is saying you have to live with your dad. Nobody is really saying that you're a piece of shit and there's zero chance you could do what you claim (get out of dodge and get a job and live responsibly), but they ARE saying that your own actions have given them massive doubt as to the likelihood of that. You aren't showing any real responsibility. Your ideas are all theory and no practice. Here's why you have no leg to stand on:

1. You owe your dad a huge chunk of change, he's asked you to sign over bonds to pay for this. You have so far refused and you plan to try to bait/switch him. Further, you claim that you don't owe him this money legally which is an outright lie based on your earlier statement. This is an obvious contradiction. Dishonorable and truly deplorable when this is someone who is paying for your living expenses and who is not charging you any interest on this huge loan that no financial institution would've given you.

2. You live in NYC one of the best and cheapest places for public transportation in the US, and you owe money on a car! I hazard to guess it's a car less than 10 years old. The average millionaire in this country doesn't live in NYC and they don't own a new or newer car. How in the fuck can you claim to have any fiscal responsibility whatsoever?

3. You did not take or respond to the advice from El_Gostro, the forum's resident vagrant, someone who would seem to be armed with some of the best perspective for your situation. I find this strange. I also find it strange that you are perfectly willing to sit and take your sweet time to pay your dad back but you're not willing to wait the what, 2 or 3 weeks that it would take to get your bonds re-issued.

The bottom line is that the forum is here to help you as a guy that seeks to improve himself. Guys here want to help you, but you don't seem willing to accept the help or even implement any small part of advice that is not what you already have planned.

That is not going to earn you many friends or much help in the future. You clearly got yourself into this situation but you're not really willing to adjust YOUR actions to get yourself out of it.

[booshala]

What kind of response were you expecting, Rob Banks? There's very little hand-holding on this forum and it seems like you're defending every facet of your story. Things probably got derailed with the whole gay druggie thing, but you sort of did it to yourself with ever increasingly sordid details of your life. Seems like you already got the logistics on how to handle the transfer of bonds legally so now it's just you responding to what people - including myself - feel are your blatant ingratitude and entitlement issues.

My 2 cents: that money your grandmother left you is likely one of the worst decisions she could've made. The fact that you call it "your money" shows your inability to see that you had no agency in its creation. Even worse, you are tarnishing your grandmother's generosity by looking to break your relationship with your father over it. That's some scandalous shit... if you're going to cut off your dad, why not leave the money alone and make your own way with your sick wife? At least, there'd be some sort of moral justification in a "me against the world" scenario like that. But no, you want it all: to live rent free with pops till you're in your mid 20's, no job, no degree, month long Euro trips under your belt, grab your dead grandma's cash, make $17k somehow stretch into a car/rent/tuition in one of the most expensive cities in the world and still proclaim moral justification by saying "dad was a jerk".

You're an asshole. I hope you figure shit out, but most likely I think you're just gonna get that money, it helps fuel your already shitty habits and mentality and you'll likely be worse in a year down the road.

[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 01:26 PM)kmhour Wrote:  

(01-04-2017 12:01 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I appreciate the constructive criticism without any name-calling or baseless assumptions.

I have my own complicated relationship with my father that changed for the better when I moved out. In retrospect and with time and age I understand him much better, but I'm not going to judge you out of hand for some of what you're saying.

That said, I think your response to some extent is focused on the micro ("my dad is not a nice person, how am I going to claim the bonds from him") and not the macro ("how am I going to be sure I productively and successfully use this one-time windfall to position myself for the future"). I get that people are criticizing your relationship with your father so you feel defensive, but ultimately the money is yours so it's a moot point. The real point is - to put it succinctly - not fucking up everything after that.

This thread was actually supposed to be about how to get the money in my hands, and what to do with it afterwards. The only reason I am focusing on my relationship with my dad is because almost every single response is something to the effect of "your dad is obviously a good father, and you're obviously just a fuck up and a terrible son who resents him for no good reason."

You're right, the point is to prove my dad wrong and use the money wisely. To not fuck up, as you put it.

This could be a big opportunity for me, but I obviously have to be careful and be responsible, or it could turn into just another fuck up that I will come to regret.

I have no problem with people telling me that (as you have done). Obviously, it's not going to be easy, and I'm going to have to work hard.

On the other hand, what I do have a problem with is everyone telling me "You're obviously going to fuck up, so don't even try. Just stay at your dad's house and let him take care of you." I thought this forum was about self-improvement and self-reliance.

[AneroidOcean]

(01-04-2017 04:24 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

On the other hand, what I do have a problem with is everyone telling me "You're obviously going to fuck up, so don't even try. Just stay at your dad's house and let him take care of you." I thought this forum was about self-improvement and self-reliance.

[realologist]

[wi30]

[zatara]

(01-04-2017 04:24 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

On the other hand, what I do have a problem with is everyone telling me "You're obviously going to fuck up, so don't even try. Just stay at your dad's house and let him take care of you." I thought this forum was about self-improvement and self-reliance.

I don't think a single person on this thread has advised you to do this. Almost every poster is telling you to:

1) Pay back your father the substantial financial debt you owe him
2) Get a job to provide funds for your lifestyle
3) Use the bonds to pay for your education, as they were intended to do so

Its rare that a thread gets such uniform replies, but in this case its because the above are the logical, responsible, morally correct things to do.

Doing this would show self-improvement and self-reliance. Spending your inherited, dead relative's money on funding your lifestyle when you don't have a job does neither.

[Perfect Stranger]

   

[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

It is VERY telling that you gave no response to my breakdown.

There are so many responses, it's hard to respond to everyone. If I didn't respond to what you said, then I probably didn't have a problem with it.

I'll take another look at it.

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

The reality of the matter is this. No matter HOW BAD your dad is (and it sounds like if anything it's verbal abuse at worst), he's still looking out for your best interests, even if it's in a somewhat backwards way. Nobody is saying you have to live with your dad. Nobody is really saying that you're a piece of shit and there's zero chance you could do what you claim (get out of dodge and get a job and live responsibly), but they ARE saying that your own actions have given them massive doubt as to the likelihood of that. You aren't showing any real responsibility. Your ideas are all theory and no practice. Here's why you have no leg to stand on:

1. You owe your dad a huge chunk of change, he's asked you to sign over bonds to pay for this. You have so far refused and you plan to try to bait/switch him. Further, you claim that you don't owe him this money legally which is an outright lie based on your earlier statement. This is an obvious contradiction. Dishonorable and truly deplorable when this is someone who is paying for your living expenses and who is not charging you any interest on this huge loan that no financial institution would've given you.

This is actually not an accurate description of the events. I do owe him the money, and I intend to pay him. As far as owing him legally, I really don't owe him legally. If he sued me for the money, he would lose. That's just a fact. We had a verbal agreement that I would pay him back (which I will), but we did not have a legally binding contract. There is no contradiction there. You're reading too much into what I'm saying, and you're assuming that when I say "I don't legally owe him the money" that it means I don't intend to pay him back (or something like that).

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

2. You live in NYC one of the best and cheapest places for public transportation in the US, and you owe money on a car! I hazard to guess it's a car less than 10 years old. The average millionaire in this country doesn't live in NYC and they don't own a new or newer car. How in the fuck can you claim to have any fiscal responsibility whatsoever?

I was not living in NYC when I bought the car. I was living in another state (and working two jobs to support myself, by the way).

The only reason I kept the car is because I knew I wanted to eventually leave town. Besides, if I can keep up with the payments for another year or so, I will be able to sell the car and buy a cheaper car. This seems like a far better option than letting the bank repo it after having spent several years paying for it.

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

3. You did not take or respond to the advice from El_Gostro, the forum's resident vagrant, someone who would seem to be armed with some of the best perspective for your situation. I find this strange. I also find it strange that you are perfectly willing to sit and take your sweet time to pay your dad back but you're not willing to wait the what, 2 or 3 weeks that it would take to get your bonds re-issued.

I will take another look at El_Gostro's response.

Also, I said earlier that I would look in to getting the bonds re-issued, and that I would rather do it that way if it is possible. I will wait the 2 or 3 weeks, or even months, if necessary. I already said this earlier, so I don't know where you got the idea that I wasn't willing to wait.

Also, I am not willing to take my sweet time paying my dad back. As a matter of fact, I tried to pay him back months ago, but his bank wouldn't cash the bonds. They said he had to wait 6 months. I recently found a bank that would do it sooner, so that's why we're doing it now. My dad was willing to wait another 3 months to do it at his bank, and I actually sped up the process for him.

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

The bottom line is that the forum is here to help you as a guy that seeks to improve himself. Guys here want to help you, but you don't seem willing to accept the help or even implement any small part of advice that is not what you already have planned.

That's not true. The only think I'm not willing to do is to let my dad keep holding on to the money and for me to keep living under his roof. I already stated from the start that I had made up my mind and I was going to take the money one way or another.

I actually would like to avoid this whole conflict with him at the bank. I'm actually quite nervous about that, and would love to find another way to do it (such as having the bonds re-issued, as you pointed out). That's why I made this thread. I was hoping guys could give me other ideas, so that I wouldn't have to trick my dad into coming to the bank with me and then threaten to call the cops on him.

(01-04-2017 04:15 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

That is not going to earn you many friends or much help in the future. You clearly got yourself into this situation but you're not really willing to adjust YOUR actions to get yourself out of it.

Can you be more clear? What exactly are you recommending? Are you saying I shouldn't take the money, or are you just saying I shouldn't do it the way I am planning to do it?

Like I have stated many times already in this thread, I appreciate all the advice, and I have no problem with people giving me harsh criticism.

What I don't appreciate is the people (not you) who just want to tell me how much of an asshole I am, telling me I am a "useless druggie who just wants the money to get high," and act like they know more about my relationship with my father than I do. Also, the people who keep insisting that I am "stealing" from my dad. That pisses me off too, since I am clearly not stealing from anyone.

[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 04:42 PM)zatara Wrote:  

(01-04-2017 04:24 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

On the other hand, what I do have a problem with is everyone telling me "You're obviously going to fuck up, so don't even try. Just stay at your dad's house and let him take care of you." I thought this forum was about self-improvement and self-reliance.

I don't think a single person on this thread has advised you to do this.

A lot of people said things to the effect of "stay at home with your dad. If you take the money and move out, you're just going to fuck up and blow the money on bullshit."

(01-04-2017 04:42 PM)zatara Wrote:  

Almost every poster is telling you to:

1) Pay back your father the substantial financial debt you owe him
2) Get a job to provide funds for your lifestyle
3) Use the bonds to pay for your education, as they were intended to do so

Its rare that a thread gets such uniform replies, but in this case its because the above are the logical, responsible, morally correct things to do.

And that is exactly what I've been saying I'm going to do.

After I take the money, I am only planning to use a little bit to move out of town and find a job. As soon as I am working full-time, I do not plan on touching that money, other than to pay for school.

I would just rather have it in my hands, otherwise I won't be able to leave town and I will have to keep living with my dad for now. I want to be in control of the money, but I don't intend to fund any sort of "lifestyle" with it (aside from maybe paying a month's rent while I look for a job).

(01-04-2017 04:42 PM)zatara Wrote:  

Doing this would show self-improvement and self-reliance. Spending your inherited, dead relative's money on funding your lifestyle when you don't have a job does neither.

You're absolutely right.

I appreciate you and everybody else who gave me legitimate advice and constructive criticism.

[H1N1]

(01-04-2017 04:14 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

(01-04-2017 01:30 PM)H1N1 Wrote:  

I have been extraordinarily fortunate with my own father, he really is an extraordinarily able man and I have benefited beyond all measure from his influence.

I figured.

That's why it is so hard for you to understand my position, having a shitty relationship with mine.

As for the rest of your post, I appreciate you taking the time to give me advice, but I think you're off base here. I'm not saying it's bad advice, it's just that you don't know me and my dad personally.

For example, when you say that my dad probably had me arrested for my own good, thinking it would help me, that is actually not the case. He does it because he just loses his cool when he gets stressed out, and then he immediately regrets it after he calms down.

One time, several years ago, he called the cops because I had threatened him (he lied and said I had actually hit him), and told them I was carrying a bag of weed. Then, when they arrived, he had calmed down a bit, and he was begging them not to arrest me. The cops were confused by his behavior and called him stupid.

Yes, my dad obviously cares about me, but he has a tendency to get very nervous over relatively minor situations, and to make rash decisions and act selfishly when he gets nervous.

Ask anyone in my extended family and they will tell you the same thing I am saying about him.

I totally understand your tendency to think I'm just some spoiled brat who wants to complain about his daddy (especially since you have a good relationship with your father), but that's not the case with me. I really wish you could talk to my family and friends about him. It's not just me who feels this way about him, it's everyone who knows him well.

PS: I'm going to ignore the fact that you apologized for "calling me names" and then called me a "diva" in the same sentence.

I thought it would probably fall on deaf ears. You took all the wrong things from my message and read what you wanted to read.

Be under no illusions, my father would take a fucking belt to me if I behaved even half as spoilt as you do. You think you're the only one with a dad who gets mad? You poor little snowflake. I love my dad a great deal, but I have physical scars to this day from conflicts he and I had when I was younger. I have a good relationship with him in part because I own my part in any fall out and in part because I am not determined to hold a grudge in the face of obvious remorse for a sincere mistake due to an inherent defect of character from someone I know loves me. People we love disappoint us, and diminish themselves in our eyes in ways that are far more hurtful than the actions themselves. That's true for everyone, not just you mate - it's just life.

I also didn't apologise for calling you names, I apologised for calling you a fag, specifically. It was something of an experiment on my part. As expected, you're not the kind of guy it makes sense to apologise to, because you don't know how to just accept it and let it go - which is an extremely feminine quality. It's clear to most people posting here that it is that characteristic of YOURS that is the source of the disharmony between you and your father.

[Rob Banks]

I am seriously regretting having started this thread. I think I'm just going to be done with this thread. I have stated certain things multiple times and it seems some people just don't believe me.

1. I am not a "victim," a "poor special snowflake," or anything of the sort. I am simply a guy who has a shitty relationship with his dad. All my complaints about him were simply to explain why I feel the way I do about him, not to make myself out as a victim of any kind.

2. I am not mad because my dad "gets mad sometimes" or "expects me to follow rules" or any stupid bullshit like that. It is a lot deeper than that. I'm done trying to explain it, since anything I say about him will just get me accused of playing the victim.

3. I really do appreciate all the sincere advice that some people are giving me. However, it is difficult to take someone seriously when they give me legitimate advice, and then proceed to insult me and make baseless assumptions about me in the very next sentence. Maybe this is my fault and I should just be able to "take it" and not get mad, but it is difficult for me. I don't appreciate a bunch of people calling me an asshole for resenting my dad, or assuming that whatever I am resentful towards him about must be stupid childish bullshit.

I've been on this forum for several months and I have always avoided starting threads about personal topics (with the exception of one thread about a girl once). I finally decided to start a thread about something personal, and it seems I have ruined my reputation on this forum and gotten a bunch of people to think I'm an asshole and a useless fuck up.

This is really not what I intended when I started this thread. The only reason I even started talking about my relationship with my father is because people asked me about it.

I do not see myself as a victim in any way, shape, or form. I don't know how to make that any clearer. However, I do have legitimate reasons to be resentful towards my father.

I apologize if I was rude to anyone or engaged in petty arguments about stupid things. I am just very frustrated with the assumptions a lot of people are making.

[realologist]

[SamuelBRoberts]

(01-04-2017 05:25 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

I've been on this forum for several months and I have always avoided starting threads about personal topics (with the exception of one thread about a girl once). I finally decided to start a thread about something personal, and it seems I have ruined my reputation on this forum and gotten a bunch of people to think I'm an asshole and a useless fuck up.

This is really not what I intended when I started this thread. The only reason I even started talking about my relationship with my father is because people asked me about it.

So you would say this thread is not going in the direction you hoped for?

Dude, you're 18k in debt with no college degree and no severe medical bills (I know you don't have any severe medical problems because if you did you would've said that instead of saying "a trip to Europe"). The POLITEST thing you can say about someone who is 18k in debt with no medical bills or college to show for it is that they're a "useless fuckup", as you said above. I don't care if your dad is spending his weekends tossing babies out of windows and setting nuns on fire, he still deserves canonization for not flinging you out into the street after your debts passed into the five digit mark.

It's one thing to be in that much debt when you've got a degree, even a useless degree, to show for it. I have a lot of sympathy for people who get caught up in the student loan scam. It's difficult to see why I should have any sympathy for you.

[AneroidOcean]

Clearly OP can't see the forest for the trees as he states that he has a verbal agreement with his dad (which in most states is legally binding even if it's nearly unenforceable...which are not the same thing) and then in the next breath says he owes his dad money and will pay him but plans to take the bonds his dad expects him to sign over to settle the debt and keep them for himself.

Then he goes on to give reasons why it's a-ok that he still has a car he's MAKING PAYMENTS ON when he could have sold it long ago and used public transportation, completely missing the point that it's a fiscally irresponsible thing to continue.

Incredulously OP tries to claim that he is actually speeding up the process of paying his dad back despite his clearly laid out plan/intent to just take the bonds and pay his dad a paltry sum (1k) on that date. Sure sounds like speeding up the process to me!

I don't believe OP deserves any further responses, just animated GIFs. Thus:

[Rob Banks]

First of all, saying I'm "18k in debt" is misrepresenting the situation. The money is right there. All I have to do is sign a piece of paper and I won't be in debt.

Second of all, I don't expect anyone to have any sympathy for me. I just expect people to speak to me respectfully and to give constructive advice instead of just telling me how much of a fuck up and an asshole I am.

Lastly, what do you guys expect me to say? Do you expect me to say "I was wrong about my dad. It turns out he's actually a great dad and I should respect him more. I have decided to let him hold on to my money. I can't believe I ever considered trying to take it." ???

Obviously, I'm not going to say that. I can listen to advice and do my best to change my bad habits, but I have pretty much made up my mind that I want my money, I want to move out of my dad's house, and I have reasons to be resentful towards him. Those things were never really up for discussion. I would be lying if I said my feelings towards my dad changed because of what some guys on a forum said to me.

Seriously, what am I supposed to say? How should I react so that you guys won't think I'm an asshole and a spoiled child?

[Rob Banks]

(01-04-2017 06:05 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Clearly OP can't see the forest for the trees as he states that he has a verbal agreement with his dad (which in most states is legally binding even if it's nearly unenforceable...which are not the same thing) and then in the next breath says he owes his dad money and will pay him but plans to take the bonds his dad expects him to sign over to settle the debt and keep them for himself.

Then he goes on to give reasons why it's a-ok that he still has a car he's MAKING PAYMENTS ON when he could have sold it long ago and used public transportation, completely missing the point that it's a fiscally irresponsible thing to continue.

Incredulously OP tries to claim that he is actually speeding up the process of paying his dad back despite his clearly laid out plan/intent to just take the bonds and pay his dad a paltry sum (1k) on that date. Sure sounds like speeding up the process to me!

None of what you said is actually true. I am willing to sign the entire 18k over to my dad tomorrow, as long as he is willing to let me keep the remaining 17k.

I could not have sold the car a long time ago, only allowed the bank to repo it, which I was not willing to do.

I am speeding up the process of paying my dad back. I am willing to pay the entire 18k tomorrow. Yes, I will keep the remaining 17k for myself, and I don't see anything wrong with that.

I really don't know what you guys expect me to say. What would you recommend? That I pay my dad his money and forget about my money? It's not enough that I'm willing to pay the debt, but I have to be willing to let him hold on to the remaining 17k as well, and if I don't, then I'm a spoiled brat?

I guess I'm a spoiled brat then, because I'm not willing to let him hold on to that.

I also said multiple times that if I can get the bonds re-issued, then I will gladly sign over the 18k tomorrow and just get the remaining 17k re-issued.

[Repo]

(01-04-2017 06:08 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:  

Seriously, what am I supposed to say? How should I react so that you guys won't think I'm an asshole and a spoiled child?

To start don't ask questions like that.

[realologist]

Rob,

I found your dad and talked with him about this. He decided to give me the 17k cash to give to you. Here you go.