I'm posting in the newb forum because at this, I'm a noob, and the situation is a fucking minefield.

Never had to cheat and think twice about it before, but currently I'm in a happy LTR. My girl is smoking, sweet and very loving and has done a lot for me. She was a virgin before me. She had done one stupid thing that could warrant a breakup, but learned from her mistake and never failed me since.

Now life puts me in a great temptation that I'm tempted to take, for better or for worse.

A girl I know in social circle is a freaking smoke show, a solid French-Sweedish 8 and on top of that, a very seductive dancer. I knew she was a player so I only "maintenance game" her without ever trying to close because I don't want to deal with all that shit.

She recently "broke up" and insisted on me teaching her how to make Vietnamese spring roll. At her place. Then go clubbing afterward. I think that's enough info.

It's supposed to be this Sunday.

Now, the problem is, this girl knows my girl and is well connected with my own latin dance social circle. She is friend with my best buddy, and his own girlfriend is this girl's BFF....

I also know for a fact that my "best" buddy also wants to bang this girl.

This girl is a nuclear bomb of hotness and huge fucking problem. Daddy issues? Check. Dad dies early, so she dated a guy who was 20 years older. Mommy's problem? Check. Move out of her house cause cant deal with her mum. Unreliable? Check. Drama queen? Check. Irresistible? Check. You boys who dance will know what I'm talking about.

If I "go cooking" with her, she will certainly tell her BFF, who would then tell my buddy. Both of them know my girl and have her on Facebook.

I am on very good term with my buddy and his girl equally, but we all know how reliable "friends" are when it comes to this.

I've done what I can, deleting all the messages and prepares an excuse to be absent this Sunday, also warning a friend of mine to cover my ass and serve as witness.

But I can't delete the messages on her phone, and if she really wants some drama she can shows it to my girl.

Anyway I think it might well be just a matter of time until my girl finds out.

When she finds out, what should I do? I want to keep this LTR.

Why I'm doing this even though I want to keep the LTR is another matter, I would like to NOT discuss it here.

Should I just keep denying it to the death, even if confronted with evidence? I can always play the women's game "Baby you know she wants me and is jealous of us so she is sabotaging us, don't fall for that" etc.

I know I'm walking into a minefield of drama here.

Any advice is appreciated.

Well, it sounds like you're going to go for it. There are two avenues I see when your confronted about it later. This goes for the text messages, or the dinner date, or the banging.

1) Deny, and just keep denying no matter what. If she has text messages then just say you were being polite.

2) Admit it with no shame. Say, "Yeah babe it just happened." If she yells, "How could you?" Respond with something like, "She's hot, I got tempted. You know how it is." Just be very matter of fact about it, and don't ask for forgiveness. When you own up to it without shame and stand your ground, she will stop thinking about dumping you, and start thinking about how to keep you. That's a guess of course.

I think it's a bad idea. She's in your social circle. She knows your girl. You know she's drama. It will certainly get back to your girl. If you're gonna sneak around, do it elsewhere under different circumstances with someone you care a lot less about.

I agree with crude, sounds like she could turn your whole life upside down.

Find something to do all day sunday and have an alibi.

"She invited me to cook, So what? Obviously I didn't go, I was at suchandsuch on sunday"

Dalaran,

The last thing you need to do is shit on your social circle, that probably took you some time to build.

You'll cause unnecessary unwanted drama.

Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned on EITHER side of this situation.

I just don't see a win win for nailing an 8 a few times, you're already in a minefield, you just don't know it yet.

If I were you, I'd navigate carefully and friendzone this girl and keep your distance.

Quote:Quote:

This girl is a nuclear bomb of hotness and huge fucking problem. Daddy issues? Check. Dad dies early, so she dated a guy who was 20 years older. Mommy's problem? Check. Move out of her house cause cant deal with her mum. Unreliable? Check. Drama queen? Check. Irresistible? Check. You boys who dance will know what I'm talking about.

Let's say you do fuck her, but then she wants more, which of course she will, you brush her off, she flips her shit, and ruins your relationship and social circle.

This is why I don't fuck girls that are close to my social circle.

Like Onto said, sounds like you're already pulling the trigger on this, I highly advise against it.

All this drama and stress over one piece of pussy.

Quote: (04-20-2016 05:00 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

When she finds out, what should I do? I want to keep this LTR.

Why I'm doing this even though I want to keep the LTR is another matter, I would like to NOT discuss it here.

Should I just keep denying it to the death, even if confronted with evidence? I can always play the women's game "Baby you know she wants me and is jealous of us so she is sabotaging us, don't fall for that" etc.

I know I'm walking into a minefield of drama here.

Any advice is appreciated.

It sounds like you're coming here for validation. If you're really serious about keeping that LTR, be a good dog and don't shit in your own yard. Besides, if you have to think this much about it, you'll be a terrible liar and more than likely get caught. I'd advise against it.

Don't eliminate the possibility that it's all a setup by your LTR anyway.

Pussy is pussy. Just stick with the one you already have that also comes with the least risk of drama.

Listen dude, even though I know you're not going to. Everyone talks about how women destroy marriages and such, but I destroyed mine and my chick, while a girl, was pretty awesome.

Don't do it. If she finds out, things will never be the same again. You will actually get treated better in some ways at the beginning, but it's a festering sore.

What would a woman do in your case? She would hide until the death. So there you go, thats what you should do. Better lie even if she knows you are lying but still has those 5% of uncertainty, than to openly tell the truth. The truth should be told only to woman who have other compromises, married, with boyfriends, fuckbuddys..

I agree mostly with what´s been said here already, but to take the other perspective I will comment.

I have unfortunately a long experience with cheating, however, never in really close social circle. One time was somewhat close, but then the girl I cheated with had a fiance so she couldn´t really say anything.

If you really want to do this, do it right. Like stated above, just deny until you die, if you are a good liar this should be no problem. Then your only pitfall would be the messages on her phone right? It is a long shot, but how about trying to get her phone and delete the messages? Yeah, she might be mad at you when she discovers that they are gone, but if you´re serious about your LTR and just want to get this out of your system, like a one time thing, it shouldn´t be a issue for you whether she goes cold or not afterwards.

4/20 Highdea:

Make the plans to cook/club with girl, but then flake on her moment-of with something plausible. Don't respond after first explanation.

Day(s) or so later, tell her you want to meet her for one drink.

Meet her, be bedroom-you, seductive, but don't make a move -- blue-vag her for some improvised reason. Mash-up of "serious about current girl" with "you don't want to even know what I'm tempted to do to you" with "who-me? fake unaware-of-sexual-tension vibe" -- put the onus on her.

But really the onus is on you -- go in knowing your plan (to fuck or just fuck with her head) -- allow a small % hedge opportunity for making a game-time reversal of decision.


[Edit: jeez I was stoned... I guess my underlying assumption is that you are in the mood to "shake things up" anyway re: possibly nuking your social circle. Otherwise don't do anything like this. Or go for a threesome.]

One wrinkle in the whole thing is if you do the dinner/dancing and she shuts you down for the bang.

If that happens how much hot water will you be in with your girl for going to Swede8's place for just dinner and dancing?

Of course there are no guarantee's in life, but I would want to be pretty sure you'll get the bang before putting yourself out there too much.

The world is full of "8s." If you want to cheat, find one that lives 40 miles away. And get a "drug dealer" phone, for goodness sake.

I agree with Onto. It's probably 50-50 a best that you get the lay, or not. And your girl will likely find out either way.

So if the coin comes up tails instead of heads you just blew your LTR and possibly social circle as well for...making Vietnamese spring rolls.

Unless, for some pathological reason we don't understand, this is actually the result you are hoping for.

"Oneitis" is a terrible disease.

This is so stupid on so many levels.

You don't cheat with chicks who have connections to your main bitch and/or social circle. Jesus.

The only thing you can do to maybe make this work is the following:

1. Break up with main bitch.
2. Bang hot crazy slut for a few weeks/months until you get bored.
3. Maybe get main bitch back into the fold after you get bored; main bitch will have to make the effort to come back to you. No guarantees this will happen.

That way, everyone can save face in in their respective social circles. This won't prevent damage entirely but it could greatly mitigate social circle damage.

You COULD also hang out with this crazy slut (no banging) for some dread game/social proof but you also say you have a very legit LTR. From the sounds of it, I don't get the impression you will be able to control yourself if the the right conditions come about with crazy slut girl.

That all said: If you bang this chick under the current conditions, it will not end well. I promise.

If you can't even come up with a plan that is foolproof, why even bother? Seems like you're the one who craves the drama.

I will tell you how I am dealing with it now.

My current LTR caught me texting other girls, when I accidentally took a picture of my laptop, with iMessage open, showing my full text history from the last week. I was in Miami on business, and starting texting my girls there.

We were two months in when this happened. I apologized, and said it would never happen again. Since then she has proclaimed her love for me. She is trying to take me to see her family in her home country. We are going to Mexico together in a few weeks. We are close to 6 months now. I am all in here, again. If she does end up dumping me for a lack of trust, get ready for the jello bowl posts.

Lately, especially this week, I have been having serious paranoia that she could have dropped me, or started shopping around. Not because of anything she is doing, but hell, I would have dropped a bitch IMMEDIATELY if she did that to me, if I were going exclusive.

I owned up to it. I basically told her I wasnt ready for her. It is true. Game muscle memory is a hell of a drug. I physcially couldnt stop texting other girls. I did it for many years. Now I have. Now the girls 15+ years younger that keep texting me, dont even get my reply. I have gone all in for this one. Shes European, I am hoping that helps a little too.

Banging is a totally different story. It will blow everything up, nuke your friendships and your current LTR, in my opinion.

If we both get dumped I am coming over to Paris for a little day gaming the Frenchies!

The situation is so readily apparent stupid that the conclusion one is immediately drawn to is that OP wishes to become some form of martyr via sexual seppuku.

If what a man really desires is to eject on his current LTR and wipe and reboot his social circle, there are likely better ways to accomplish this that would leave hIm in a far stronger position in the long run.

You're not that serious about this sweet LTR of yours if you're looking to throw it all away for a little fresh pussy. The odds of you blowing up your own spot with your girl and your friends seems high. Many a great man have been ruined by some simple pussy. Shouldn't let it have the kind of power over you.

20/20 whenever you decide to cheat get a burner phone or switch numbers somehow.

Therefore when the other chick has the logs on her phone it is to an anonymous number not your main one as an extra level of denial.

OR

Invite your girl too. Become friendly as a couple with this girl. Go for the threesome at some point.

This crazy 8 seems like the type that could talk your girl into crazy shit.

She invites you over for dinner and dancing and knows you have a GF and you mentioned she is fucked up. You don't think she will be inclined to fuck up your life afterwards for some emotional payoff (however fucked up it is)?

It would be one thing if this girl knows no one and lives in a different country and you just met her and ONS'd her.

This girl is aware of everything and still wants to proceed with you. She doesn't give a fuck about your GF's feelings obviously, why would she give a shit about you when she is done with you?

Basically, it is risk vs reward. Are you willing to lose all you have at a shot (she didn't guarantee you she would fuck you did she?) at this smokeshow. And it would range from dinner and dancing to banging her during all her prime years. The cost for any of those outcomes could be losing your girl.

I am not going morale/white knight here and saying "OMG how could you think about cheating on your girl." I am saying "is the cost worth it."

There are plenty of ways to get this done without your LTR ever finding out.

I'd suggest you binge watch the first five seasons of Dexter.

The circumstances you describe could not be worse for cheating if you tried.

Quote: (04-20-2016 05:00 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I want to keep this LTR.

Not as much as you want to bang new pussy, obviously. Which is fine. But be honest with yourself- If keeping the LTR was paramount, you wouldn't be doing this.

Quote:Quote:

Why I'm doing this even though I want to keep the LTR is another matter, I would like to NOT discuss it here.

I know I'm walking into a minefield of drama here.

You know it's a mine field, you know it's likely to blow up, you know this is a bad idea, you've already decided to do it.

You won't be able to hide it, you said so yourself. So that leaves "dealing with", which will likely mean the end of LTR.

There's not much to discuss here, no one can advise you what to do because we don't know how it will go down.

You can try denying it all, but that doesn't matter when all the facts are against you or a chic is telling your social circle you banged.

Good luck.

Get a burner phone from 7-11. Prepaid thats not attached to your name in anyway.

Only pull girls from the club or some other place that allows for a certain amount of anonymity.


On the day of the planned meeting with the smoke show, meet up with your main girl and spend the entire day with her.
Not a guy friend but your girl because she might not believe your friend's alibi but if she was with you then there's no doubt in her mind about what your intentions truly are and now it becomes you and her against the crazy smoke show.

If the crazy bitch tries to sabotage you after just let your girl know she was pressuring you and you just told her something to shut her up because she wasn't taking no for an answer. Also let her know that she's mentally unstable and that you knew she would try to get back at you after feeling rejected.

Thanks for chiming in guys.

I wouldn't jump in here and ring your bells if I simply "think" I have a shot at banging her. I tested the waters a bit last weekend when we went dancing, and all signs are positive. However, Sam and Onto are correct, you can never be sure with this kind of chick.

I actually didn't think it would involve the amount of drama you guys said it would. Maybe I was under the false illusion that I could afford to lose things (friends + LTR). In truth I could, but this is highly undesirable.

You guys are correct that the question is rather "is this worth it", because in the end nothing ever really bring us down. Social circle can be rebuilt and another LTR can be found, but is it worth it?

When I dwell more on this, it's funny because I've never really been that into this girl. She's hot but so is my LTR, and considering the whole package it's not really an upgrade per se. Also I'm smack deep in a pussy paradise where 8s are dime a dozen.

I'm realizing that I'm being tempted to do this simply due to the thrill of drama, maybe to see how I would survive it if it comes to pass.

A bit of this might also be hubris. Sam, I had the exact same thought as you, this girl seems to want to intentionally fuck up my life/LTR. And in my arrogance I'm daring her to do it.

Which is a piss-poor reason for doing anything. Basically male hamster spinning. Can't imagine what it would be for girls in a LTR. Funny though because this is a French affaire à l'excellence!

I think I'll flake on this one if she doesn't do it first.

@Vaun: you are invited to come gaming with me in Paris at any time, dumped or not!

Quote: (04-21-2016 05:26 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

I'm realizing that I'm being tempted to do this simply due to the thrill of drama, maybe to see how I would survive it if it comes to pass.

This is a serious question to ask yourself. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I craved the drama, whether its good or bad. I guess thats why I loved game so much, and got so into it. Its just how some of us are wired. And knowing that about yourself can give you a better perspective on what you really need, and how to set yourself up to thrive.