Its hard to feel depressed after an hours hard run in soft sand on the beach.
The mixture of exhaustion, endorphins and accomplishment swats away bad feelings.
The mixture of exhaustion, endorphins and accomplishment swats away bad feelings.
Quote: (11-29-2015 10:12 AM)Huey Wrote:
Here's the PDF for Feeling Good:
http://islamiconlineuniversity.com/couns...20Good.pdf
Quote: (11-30-2015 05:19 AM)Centurion Wrote:
Quote: (11-29-2015 10:12 AM)Huey Wrote:
Here's the PDF for Feeling Good:
http://islamiconlineuniversity.com/couns...20Good.pdf
This PDF doesn't load for me. Will probs just get the torrent later.
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@BB
Thanks, I really appreciated that advice, I read all of it.
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I guess the books would go into that in more detail- but what exactly would you do to change your mood? I really want freedom from my emotions- but they often feel so powerful and it feels activities barely make a dent, like they may make me feel marginally(but noticeably) better, but it's so fleeting and transient. Do I have to just keep going and trust it? Know it would've been even worse had I not done it?
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I do feel better knowing that my worth isn't tied to my (lack of)achievements. But that being said, I really would like a fulfilling job, good friends and fuckable chicks.
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I "know"(according to my gut feeling) I will be significantly happier when I do get these down, so it does trip me up when good advice says I shouldn't rely on them for happiness.
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With social situations- over the past couple of months-year I actually *have* been doing something similar to that. The trouble is that most of the time I wouldn't ever meet those people ever again, so it feels a bit shallow/empty/meaningless. For the most part it was more pleasurable/enjoyable than doing nothing or even doing a similarly interesting thing by myself, but I feel my social interaction was "wasted" if nothing ever comes of it. This isn't necessarily just gaming girls but I mean meeting new guys in general and somehow logistically not breaking into their circles.
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I look for the hot girls on the street/other daygame spots because those are some of my only hope of ever fucking one because social circle seems hopeless. My libido and my sexuality insist I do this.
Quote: (09-13-2014 12:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
Understand that you are not your thoughts, you are just the observer of your thoughts. Your thoughts are no different from the wind blowing or another person talking, you observe them and act on them if you want to. Or, you observe them and take no action. They are no different from leaves falling from a tree or kids playing in the street. They are just outside occurrences.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
PM me and I'll give you a link where you can download it.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
If it's as bad as you said in the OP, what do you really have to lose by just reading the books and/or that thread, and watching the video, and finding out? I would think you have nothing to lose and everything to gain...
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
You and every other man on this planet would like these things. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have them to be happy. And what are you doing to earn them? It takes time and effort to have a well-rounded life like that - you have to build yourself into the type of person who has them.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Actually, you may get those things and still not be signficiantly happier, believe it or not...Anyways, read the books and watch the video and get untripped.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
If it's pleasurable, why not keep doing it?
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Anyways, if you see it as meaningless and shallow, that's because you're framing it that way in your mind. That's a choice, and it's a perfect example of how your thoughts affect how you feel.
I was going to tell you how I frame it, but I was getting carried away with the rant, so I transformed it into a post for my blog that I haven't written on forever instead. Here it is if you want to read it.
Simply put, if you're labeling these intereactions as shallow and meaningless, that's because you're being shallow and meaningless about them. You shouldn't expect anything from them. It's hard to truly connect with other people when you are only doing it because of what you'll get out of it.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
But are you fucking, though?
If not, then what you've been doing is not getting results you want, so wouldn't it make sense to try something different? Like becoming a more confident, grounded person and building some genuine social skills (as opposed to "what can I get out of this" social reaching)?
Then from there you'll have a lot better foundation to build the type of social skills it takes to walk into a room and orchestrate an interaction with the hottest girl present.
Quote: (12-01-2015 04:16 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I'm torn because many, many PUA materials(Roosh included, I believe, but if he doesn't actually say this I don't want to put words in his mouth), speak about how cold approaching is king and how if only I try hard enough I'll fuck the girls I want.
Quote: (12-02-2015 12:00 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
His posts are on women and attitude both are well worth paying attention to.
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I feel depressed
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
But what sort of fun can I make, and how?
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I'm feeling really horny atm and need some sexual release. But what sort of goals would you recommend I change to?
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
Where can I find this solid group of guy friends?
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
Perhaps I should give up on game?
Quote: (11-30-2015 05:19 AM)Centurion Wrote:
what exactly would you do to change your mood?
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I really want freedom from my emotions
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I'm torn because many, many PUA materials(Roosh included, I believe, but if he doesn't actually say this I don't want to put words in his mouth), speak about how cold approaching is king and how if only I try hard enough I'll fuck the girls I want.
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I want to work and all, but the CVs and job application seem like a huge barrier
Quote: (12-03-2015 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:Thanks for being the only other reply that didnt get baited into this pity party.
I just read through this thread.
Here is my amateur bro-science advice:
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I feel depressed
Fuck your "feelings"! They are meaningless, powerless, insane, dysfunctional, and inaccurate. (unless you believe in them -- which you shouldn't)
Your "feelings" are the result of your thought patterns, your thought patterns are clearly unhealthy and unproductive.
You should ignore and disregard your negative feelings (but accept and embrace the positive feelings)
Feel your feelings, then ignore them, throw them away and take action in defiance of them!
Fuck your negative feelings! They obviously don't care about you, so why care about them?
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
But what sort of fun can I make, and how?
Fun!!!!
Yes! This is what you need!!!
More fun!!!!
What is fun to you?
Do that!
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I'm feeling really horny atm and need some sexual release. But what sort of goals would you recommend I change to?
If you need sexual release..
Your goal should be to improve the quality of your masturbation or go to Thailand and bang a bunch of hot hookers.
Game is clearly not bringing you many results
So, adjust your sexual strategy.
(or lower your standards)
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
Where can I find this solid group of guy friends?
Here, on this forum.
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
Perhaps I should give up on game?
Yes, you should give up on game, for now.
You are not mentally prepared to deal with the emotional roller coaster of gaming.
Talk to lots of girls, but, stop gaming them! Just talk from a neutral, outcome independent position.
Quote: (11-30-2015 05:19 AM)Centurion Wrote:
what exactly would you do to change your mood?
Change locations. Go to Thailand
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I really want freedom from my emotions
Fuck your emotions! They are just a reflection of your unhealthy though patterns.
Your emotions should not be trusted.
You are not prepared to create healthy emotions.
So, observe your emotions, ignore them, and take MASSIVE PHYSICAL ACTION TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Actions over emotions!!!
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I'm torn because many, many PUA materials(Roosh included, I believe, but if he doesn't actually say this I don't want to put words in his mouth), speak about how cold approaching is king and how if only I try hard enough I'll fuck the girls I want.
Cold Approaching is not king. I don't believe Roosh has ever said this.
"Trying hard" is not enough. You must try smarter, healthier, and in a way that is more loving and accepting of yourself.
You are trying too hard and putting too much pressure on yourself.
Instead of trying harder to cold approach, you should be trying harder to love yourself.
--
But, honestly, for me, the biggest issue here is your inability to fill out a job application..???
Quote: (11-28-2015 03:58 PM)Centurion Wrote:
I want to work and all, but the CVs and job application seem like a huge barrier
Wait!?!?!?!?
The job applications seem like a huge barrier?!?!?!?!?
Oh shit!
Answering a few questions seems like a huge barrier?
Filling out a few forms seems like a huge barrier?
What the fuck???
You have bigger problems than game and girls.
You can not complete simple tasks that are required for modern living.
Why is the job application such a huge barrier?
Don't you do homework in school?
If you don't have the mental wherewithal to complete a job application.. How the fuck are you going to survive the modern world?
Now, I'm actually worried about you. I suspect that your parents have not properly prepared you for life.
Please explain..
Quote: (12-03-2015 03:30 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
insult everyone here about "buying into a pity party"?
Quote: (12-03-2015 04:41 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
patronize me
Quote: (12-03-2015 07:41 AM)CodyB Wrote:
Bro, I was 19, in New Zealand and feeling pretty shit about my life.
Actually the bullshit until I was about 22, I went travelling and started working. If you've had enough with Uni for the mean time I have a very specific plan of action for you.
Move to Australia
Work a lot
Live in a suburb that attracts a lot of immigrants
In Australia you will find a job earning $45,000 a year EASILY provided you are articulate and technologically literate. You should be able to find 'cash' work in hospitality or something similar. In a place like Sydney, you can easily work >60 hours a week if you want. Move to an immigrant area like around Ashfield, Hurstville, Flemington or Lidcombe. You will find the sense of community in these areas to be very strong. Hipster areas are cliquish and hipsters are faggots.
After all expenses, you could find yourself saving $600 a week. You can find return flights on the regular to Asia for <$600.
Good thing about this is you can return to your studies either in OZ or back to NZ, there's nothing locking you in. But right now a lot of your depression may be attributed to your environment.
Quote: (12-03-2015 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
long post
Quote: (12-03-2015 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
Cold Approaching is not king. I don't believe Roosh has ever said this.
"Trying hard" is not enough. You must try smarter, healthier, and in a way that is more loving and accepting of yourself.
You are trying too hard and putting too much pressure on yourself.
Instead of trying harder to cold approach, you should be trying harder to love yourself.
Quote: (12-03-2015 02:59 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
Wait!?!?!?!?
The job applications seem like a huge barrier?!?!?!?!?
Oh shit!
Answering a few questions seems like a huge barrier?
Filling out a few forms seems like a huge barrier?
What the fuck???
You have bigger problems than game and girls.
You can not complete simple tasks that are required for modern living.
Why is the job application such a huge barrier?
Don't you do homework in school?
If you don't have the mental wherewithal to complete a job application.. How the fuck are you going to survive the modern world?
Now, I'm actually worried about you. I suspect that your parents have not properly prepared you for life.
Please explain..
Quote: (12-03-2015 03:30 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
^ offthereservation what is your problem, exactly?
Thanks for asking read on;
Is it really necessary to come into this thread and insult everyone here about "buying into a pity party"?
Yes it is necessary to state, although it is not an insult to anyone. Its a bit of rhetoric to distinguish between those that gave good heartfelt advice and those that called out inconsistencies or exaggeration on the part of OP. Reread my statement prior about when someone is justified to use the devastating language used by OP.
There were plenty of posters here using completely non emotional language, and gio said a lot things other guys said but just used more swear words. Did that impress you or is there some other reason you're kissing his ass?
He impressed me so I wanted to kiss his ass. Swear words aside the content of the reply was different and frankly it was great. It stands on its own and stands up to reason. Not falling for the pity party means not engaging the poison self pity that makes up most of the OP attitude by rewarding it with more pity. This is a damn men's forum for chrissake, what the fuck is wrong with saying to somefuckingone that its fucking bullshit that they cant fill out a shitty job applifuckingcation.
Clearly he "bought into the pity party" as much as everyone else or he wouldn't have spent so much time writing his tough love post.
Mee too.
I'll tell you one thing, sometimes I'm on the fence about a poster's integrity or seriousness or capacity to change, but I try to give the benefit of the doubt, and I still go all out because I know how many others are reading that are having the same issues.
I can see that. Nothing wrong there.
So go break out your passive aggressive "compliments" in another thread because they're serving no real purpose here other than making you look like an asshole.
You really don't like the Chopper Reid comedy I originally posted.
Rereading what gio has said, yes, if filling out job applications is a major problem, something is really off here. Therapy, medication may be in order? So yeah, I'm sure your attitude is going to work wonders....
OP has the opportunity to choose the attitude that will get him the outcomes he desires and wants. Actually work wonders is the correct phrase because anyone know that snapping out of self pity and replacing it with action does indeed work wonders. I see that OP did not really answer any of the important content like deactivating fb...
Quote: (12-03-2015 11:28 PM)Giovonny Wrote:
Quote: (12-03-2015 04:41 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
patronize me
I wasn't sure what "patronizing" meant, I looked it up -- "to say with a feeling of superiority; talk down to, look down on, put down, treat like a child, treat with disdain"
That is not an accurate description of my tone or intent. I talk to you with full respect, always. I said "online buddy" because I meant it. You're one of the few guys that I would want to hang out with.
Quote: (12-04-2015 02:05 AM)offthereservation Wrote:
Yes it is necessary to state, although it is not an insult to anyone.
Quote: (12-03-2015 11:38 PM)Centurion Wrote:
Quote: (12-03-2015 07:41 AM)CodyB Wrote:
Bro, I was 19, in New Zealand and feeling pretty shit about my life.
Actually the bullshit until I was about 22, I went travelling and started working. If you've had enough with Uni for the mean time I have a very specific plan of action for you.
Move to Australia
Work a lot
Live in a suburb that attracts a lot of immigrants
In Australia you will find a job earning $45,000 a year EASILY provided you are articulate and technologically literate. You should be able to find 'cash' work in hospitality or something similar. In a place like Sydney, you can easily work >60 hours a week if you want. Move to an immigrant area like around Ashfield, Hurstville, Flemington or Lidcombe. You will find the sense of community in these areas to be very strong. Hipster areas are cliquish and hipsters are faggots.
After all expenses, you could find yourself saving $600 a week. You can find return flights on the regular to Asia for <$600.
Good thing about this is you can return to your studies either in OZ or back to NZ, there's nothing locking you in. But right now a lot of your depression may be attributed to your environment.
Besides the money, why was Aus significantly better than NZ?
What's the advantage of the immigrant areas? Not to be xenophobic, but I identify more with western culture. What kind of immigrants are they and what kind of sense of community do they have?
Now this is getting me curious. If Aus, the place everyone bashes on RVF, is better than NZ, I'm starting to actually gain hope for life/the world...