Quote: (10-19-2015 09:56 AM)HankMoody Wrote:
If you're worried about her cheating, the frame is off.
He's just a loser beta orbiter. If she fucks him, good riddance.
The girl I'm currently seeing has a bunch of beta orbiters. They do not cross my mind for even one second. I'd never demand she stop talking to any of them because they're feminine and inconsequential. Do they want to fuck her? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little bit.
Yep, exactly.
The mere existence of concern is the issue...even in a long-term relationship. You should always be self-effacing enough to know she could cheat on you, as could you on her, but the moment you have concern or worry that she actually might be cheating on you, you've lost frame.
Also...
"I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend."
...your words are meaningless. Women respond to action. Make no mistake she interpreted this correctly as weakness. I don't suggest manipulative behavior, so
I wouldn't advise the following unless it's congruent with your emotional state, but this would prompt her to change:
If you choose to implement my strategy, do so with caution.
Go cold. Be a robot to her. Zero emotions. Ignore her, and when she asks you a question, respond with one word, yes or no. She receives no emotional feedback from you. No smiles, no anger, no fear or sadness or surprise. If you live with her, in less than one week she will come begging for your attention. She will ask you why you are so cold to her. She will beg you, she will become clay for you to shape her into the woman you want her to be.
You will not tell her the cause of your apathy because - and this is vitally important and the reason your emotional congruency is paramount -
you don't know the cause of your apathy.
"Is it because of my workplace friend?" Workplace friend? Oh the guy you work in the lab with? Oh...I wouldn't suppose so, but I'm not sure. "I told you mntrsx, we're just friends. Look, I can ask to change departments." Ok. I'm not sure why you would change departments, I actually didn't even realize you still worked together.
You're ignorant and indifferent. You can't even remember exactly what she does for work.
She'll probably cry. She'll touch you, she'll beg for a smile, a sparkle in your eye, a narrowing of your pupils, a life-giving brush of your hand. And when she's ready, you'll give her a kiss. You still love her and care about her, you'd still like to play the game, but now you know the rules.
I offer this with precaution. This is doomsday. Your relationship is forever changed. You've died, been buried, this thread your eulogy. The relationship you long to sustain, to hold timeless and unchanged is gone.
You've been unplugged.
It took my girl 4 days from pure apathy...to a crying begging on-her-knees mess in front of me. It was a life-changing experience. Then we got a divorce. Like I said, this is doomsday. At least mine was.