I have a girlfriend for several years, she is great and loyal except that she has a colleague at work that she works with him for 4 years and they became very close. They work at the same department and see each other everyday for the whole day, sometimes they even stay alone at the office when there is stuff to finish. I trust her but I'm sure that he would like to fuck her and he seeks for an opportunity, he is too nice to her. I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend.
I can't ask her to leave her job because her salary is pretty good(Chemical Engineer) and she will hate me if I fuck up her career.

I moved to Ukraine for a month and consider staying here if I leave her, I told her about that and she cried for several days and begged me to stay with her. She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend. I still have feelings for her so it's hard to leave, but Ukraine is really good.

Let's see...

An LTR is putting her feelings for a best guy friend above her BF's?

I think the answer is quite clear in that case. But this is a bit more complicated.

Can they avoid working alone? Are there work requirements that are beyond their control? Most girls are going to have a guy friend or two regardless. It really depends on several factors on how much of an issue it is. But if she is getting really defensive about the guy and blowing off your concerns, you got a problem. She said this guy is her best friend... do they hang out alone outside of work? That would be something to be concerned with.

That all said: by expressing this insecurity to her, you have actually made things worse. You say you trust her but you don't sound like it.

Either you trust her, don't give a fuck, or walk when you smell bullshit in the air. By not really laying down the law ("stop hanging out with him alone or I walk" and do walk) or acting indifferent (and seeing how it plays out), you have exposed weakness and have now probably lost frame. This in turn could drive her right into this guys arms.

Sounds like there is some bullshit in the air but hard to say without more details. Regardless, your situation at this point sounds fucked. I would just walk and enjoy Ukraine pussy.

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:44 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

Let's see...

An LTR is putting her feelings for a best guy friend above her BF's?

I think the answer is quite clear in that case. But this is a bit more complicated.

Can they avoid working alone? Are there work requirements that are beyond their control? Most girls are going to have a guy friend or two regardless. It really depends on several factors on how much of an issue it is. But if she is getting really defensive about the guy and blowing off your concerns, you got a problem. She said this guy is her best friend... do they hang out alone outside of work? That would be something to be concerned with.

That all said: by expressing this insecurity to her, you have actually made things worse. You say you trust her but you don't sound like it.

Either you trust her, don't give a fuck, or walk when you smell bullshit in the air. By not really laying down the law ("stop hanging out with him alone or I walk" and do walk) or acting indifferent (and seeing how it plays out), you have exposed weakness and have now probably lost frame. This in turn could drive her right into this guys arms.

Sounds like there is some bullshit in the air but hard to say without more details. Regardless, your situation at this point sounds fucked. I would just walk and enjoy Ukraine pussy.

They can't avoid working alone. They sit the whole day together even on breaks and he offered her to hang out but she didn't do it because I won't accept that. I'm sure he wants her and he's waiting for the right time.

Quote: (10-19-2015 05:31 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:44 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

Let's see...

An LTR is putting her feelings for a best guy friend above her BF's?

I think the answer is quite clear in that case. But this is a bit more complicated.

Can they avoid working alone? Are there work requirements that are beyond their control? Most girls are going to have a guy friend or two regardless. It really depends on several factors on how much of an issue it is. But if she is getting really defensive about the guy and blowing off your concerns, you got a problem. She said this guy is her best friend... do they hang out alone outside of work? That would be something to be concerned with.

That all said: by expressing this insecurity to her, you have actually made things worse. You say you trust her but you don't sound like it.

Either you trust her, don't give a fuck, or walk when you smell bullshit in the air. By not really laying down the law ("stop hanging out with him alone or I walk" and do walk) or acting indifferent (and seeing how it plays out), you have exposed weakness and have now probably lost frame. This in turn could drive her right into this guys arms.

Sounds like there is some bullshit in the air but hard to say without more details. Regardless, your situation at this point sounds fucked. I would just walk and enjoy Ukraine pussy.

They can't avoid working alone. They sit the whole day together even on breaks and he offered her to hang out but she didn't do it because I won't accept that. I'm sure he wants her and he's waiting for the right time.

Dude, ALL guys are waiting for the right time to slip their cocks in.

If you think she is going to cheat or is putting herself in positions unnecessarly that increase the odds of cheating (and she refuses to do something about it), dump her. Otherwise, ain't much else you can do.

OP, I have a similar situation but my girl like to dance with a guy. It goes without saying that any guy hanging out too much with a girl, he wants the pussy.

It's complicated since you've been in a LTR for years, it's not that easy to just walk out.

Quote:Quote:

An LTR is putting her feelings for a best guy friend above her BF's?

This really does strike some spot Blacknight.

To be fair, it's really hard for a girl to be so devoted to you that she's willing to forsake her friends for you.

Quote:Quote:

She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend.

She knows, and what does she do about it? This is really important here. You are laying down the ultimatum, and if she still doesn't give in, I'm sorry man but you are looking at the end of your LTR.

Not that it's a bad thing, you are in fucking Ukraine!!!!

Best way I would handle it, is to see what she is willing to do to make you stick. This is the moment of truth. Then see for yourself if it cuts it for you. If not, you walk and DO WALK.

If you do decide to stick, start gaming and pipelining in Ukraine so you have a second base and become less needy, less emotional about the eventual breakup. Hell you might meet a girl that doesn't make you think twice about that mess.

In short, silently downgrade her to fuckbuddy status, start acting more aloof and indifferent. She will sense it, see if she makes an effort to please you.

Frankly I feel like they might have already done something together and that there's a lot of shit that she doesn't tell you about, because they "don't count". Beta guys get laid by always being there and he just need one good moment.

Quote: (10-19-2015 06:00 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

In short, silently downgrade her to fuckbuddy status, start acting more aloof and indifferent. She will sense it, see if she makes an effort to please you.

It's more complicated because we rent a house together. Should I move out but keep in touch or stay in the house and show that I don't care about her?

Quote:Quote:

Frankly I feel like they might have already done something together and that there's a lot of shit that she doesn't tell you about, because they "don't count". Beta guys get laid by always being there and he just need one good moment.

That's the problem. We can never know, women are masters of deception.

I tell her that he wants her and she tells me I'm wrong and doesn't believe me.

If you're worried about her cheating, the frame is off.

He's just a loser beta orbiter. If she fucks him, good riddance.

The girl I'm currently seeing has a bunch of beta orbiters. They do not cross my mind for even one second. I'd never demand she stop talking to any of them because they're feminine and inconsequential. Do they want to fuck her? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little bit.

Quote: (10-19-2015 06:00 AM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  

To be fair, it's really hard for a girl to be so devoted to you that she's willing to forsake her friends for you.

That's horseshit if it is a straight guy friend that is single especially.

Quote: (10-19-2015 09:56 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

If you're worried about her cheating, the frame is off.

He's just a loser beta orbiter. If she fucks him, good riddance.

The girl I'm currently seeing has a bunch of beta orbiters. They do not cross my mind for even one second. I'd never demand she stop talking to any of them because they're feminine and inconsequential. Do they want to fuck her? Absolutely. Do I care? Not even a little bit.

Yep, exactly.

The mere existence of concern is the issue...even in a long-term relationship. You should always be self-effacing enough to know she could cheat on you, as could you on her, but the moment you have concern or worry that she actually might be cheating on you, you've lost frame.

Also...
"I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend."

...your words are meaningless. Women respond to action. Make no mistake she interpreted this correctly as weakness. I don't suggest manipulative behavior, so I wouldn't advise the following unless it's congruent with your emotional state, but this would prompt her to change:

If you choose to implement my strategy, do so with caution.

Go cold. Be a robot to her. Zero emotions. Ignore her, and when she asks you a question, respond with one word, yes or no. She receives no emotional feedback from you. No smiles, no anger, no fear or sadness or surprise. If you live with her, in less than one week she will come begging for your attention. She will ask you why you are so cold to her. She will beg you, she will become clay for you to shape her into the woman you want her to be.

You will not tell her the cause of your apathy because - and this is vitally important and the reason your emotional congruency is paramount - you don't know the cause of your apathy.

"Is it because of my workplace friend?" Workplace friend? Oh the guy you work in the lab with? Oh...I wouldn't suppose so, but I'm not sure. "I told you mntrsx, we're just friends. Look, I can ask to change departments." Ok. I'm not sure why you would change departments, I actually didn't even realize you still worked together.

You're ignorant and indifferent. You can't even remember exactly what she does for work.

She'll probably cry. She'll touch you, she'll beg for a smile, a sparkle in your eye, a narrowing of your pupils, a life-giving brush of your hand. And when she's ready, you'll give her a kiss. You still love her and care about her, you'd still like to play the game, but now you know the rules.

I offer this with precaution. This is doomsday. Your relationship is forever changed. You've died, been buried, this thread your eulogy. The relationship you long to sustain, to hold timeless and unchanged is gone.

You've been unplugged.
   

It took my girl 4 days from pure apathy...to a crying begging on-her-knees mess in front of me. It was a life-changing experience. Then we got a divorce. Like I said, this is doomsday. At least mine was.

What the other posters said.

OP, your situation was eerily similar to my situation. Wife met guy at work, became best friends, refused to stop seeing him or change jobs when I laid down the law, instead kept it under wraps for a year, and lied to me about it. When I found out everything, I sayonara'ed her two-timing ass.

No regrets.

Dude you're WAY to stressed about this chick.

You just moved to Ukraine and you seem HAPPY.

End it, stop your paranoia, and worries.

Yeah it hurts, it's like a band aid (your girl), the slower you tear it (end it) the more paint it causes over a long period of time. Tear it off fast (end it fast) and the pain is a moment.


My main LTR of almost 2 years works as a bartender - it doesn't phase me one bit. Because my frame/game strong and she knows I can leave her in a heart beat, she always misses me, chases me, calls me, texts me, does things for me.


You've got 2 options:

1. Lay down the law, tell her to knock that shit off or you're staying in Ukraine. If she does, great. But you'll always wondering what's going on. If she says no, tell her to fuck off and leave.

2. Just end the relationship in the best way possible and enjoy your time in Ukraine.


It's just not healthy worrying about a bitch - she should be worrying about you.

I should know, my last ex had a shitton of orbiters I was always worrying about and she was thirsty as fuck for attention. Lesson learned and applied it to my current LTR.

Let her do her thing. If she cheats, it's the price you pay to avoid a whore later on down the road.

If it really bothers you, just tell her "you're right, I have been harsh to X at work. I should also spend time with her as she makes an effort."

A taste of her own medicine.

You have already bought into her frame and allowed the seed to be planted so these are your options.

^
I have no X at work. Only guys

Kaotic breaks it down pretty well. End it and enjoy your time in Ukraine.

I reread your post and it seems like you already made the choice, but she is guilt tripping you (no girl can believe they are being dumped)

At this point if you stay with her it's purely out of pity. Pity and the game don't mix.

All the other work to maintain the LTR will still not help you sleep at night. What's more, it will keep you from really enjoying your new life.

Breaking up from a long LTR is never easy but eventually you have to do it. What kept you in this one for so long?

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:09 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I have a girlfriend for several years, she is great and loyal except that she has a colleague at work that she works with him for 4 years and they became very close. They work at the same department and see each other everyday for the whole day, sometimes they even stay alone at the office when there is stuff to finish. I trust her but I'm sure that he would like to fuck her and he seeks for an opportunity, he is too nice to her. I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend.
I can't ask her to leave her job because her salary is pretty good(Chemical Engineer) and she will hate me if I fuck up her career.

I moved to Ukraine for a month and consider staying here if I leave her, I told her about that and she cried for several days and begged me to stay with her. She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend. I still have feelings for her so it's hard to leave, but Ukraine is really good.

Sound like me a year ago. The sooner you let go, the better. Everyone here has made pretty good points. Its amazing man, I made all of the same errors (showing emotions, asking her to stop hanging). The funny part is that you're not the only cat facing this, we've either been through it or it hasn't happened yet for some.

There's a good chance that she is smashing this dude. I know you'd like to believe everything she says but you should focus on yourself and eliminating toxic people from your life. My last LTR had begun to hang out with a co-worker from her job a lot and I was out of state. After calling her out on it, she began to see him more behind my back, and she eventually broke up with me.

I wrote on some forum, gave a detailed background, and had people (strangers) give me advice I didn't want to hear. My regret was not following that advice. Shit was painful. Keep your head up and do what needs to be done.

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:17 PM)~wrIghter~ Wrote:  

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:09 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I have a girlfriend for several years, she is great and loyal except that she has a colleague at work that she works with him for 4 years and they became very close. They work at the same department and see each other everyday for the whole day, sometimes they even stay alone at the office when there is stuff to finish. I trust her but I'm sure that he would like to fuck her and he seeks for an opportunity, he is too nice to her. I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend.
I can't ask her to leave her job because her salary is pretty good(Chemical Engineer) and she will hate me if I fuck up her career.

I moved to Ukraine for a month and consider staying here if I leave her, I told her about that and she cried for several days and begged me to stay with her. She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend. I still have feelings for her so it's hard to leave, but Ukraine is really good.

Sound like me a year ago. The sooner you let go, the better. Everyone here has made pretty good points. Its amazing man, I made all of the same errors (showing emotions, asking her to stop hanging). The funny part is that you're not the only cat facing this, we've either been through it or it hasn't happened yet for some.

There's a good chance that she is smashing this dude. I know you'd like to believe everything she says but you should focus on yourself and eliminating toxic people from your life. My last LTR had begun to hang out with a co-worker from her job a lot and I was out of state. After calling her out on it, she began to see him more behind my back, and she eventually broke up with me.

I wrote on some forum, gave a detailed background, and had people (strangers) give me advice I didn't want to hear. My regret was not following that advice. Shit was painful. Keep your head up and do what needs to be done.

Your situation was easier because she was the one that broke up with you. By the way, after the break up has she dated the co-worker?
I found a job in Ukraine and decided to stay. She tells me she wants to move here and stay with me

Quote: (10-21-2015 03:35 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:17 PM)~wrIghter~ Wrote:  

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:09 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I have a girlfriend for several years, she is great and loyal except that she has a colleague at work that she works with him for 4 years and they became very close. They work at the same department and see each other everyday for the whole day, sometimes they even stay alone at the office when there is stuff to finish. I trust her but I'm sure that he would like to fuck her and he seeks for an opportunity, he is too nice to her. I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend.
I can't ask her to leave her job because her salary is pretty good(Chemical Engineer) and she will hate me if I fuck up her career.

I moved to Ukraine for a month and consider staying here if I leave her, I told her about that and she cried for several days and begged me to stay with her. She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend. I still have feelings for her so it's hard to leave, but Ukraine is really good.

Sound like me a year ago. The sooner you let go, the better. Everyone here has made pretty good points. Its amazing man, I made all of the same errors (showing emotions, asking her to stop hanging). The funny part is that you're not the only cat facing this, we've either been through it or it hasn't happened yet for some.

There's a good chance that she is smashing this dude. I know you'd like to believe everything she says but you should focus on yourself and eliminating toxic people from your life. My last LTR had begun to hang out with a co-worker from her job a lot and I was out of state. After calling her out on it, she began to see him more behind my back, and she eventually broke up with me.

I wrote on some forum, gave a detailed background, and had people (strangers) give me advice I didn't want to hear. My regret was not following that advice. Shit was painful. Keep your head up and do what needs to be done.

Your situation was easier because she was the one that broke up with you. By the way, after the break up has she dated the co-worker?
I found a job in Ukraine and decided to stay. She tells me she wants to move here and stay with me

If it was me, I would say "if you want to move in with me, you have to be actively trying to get threesomes with me and the local Ukrainian women, if you can't do that, you can't come live with me".

The last thing you want is a girlfriend cockblocking you while you try to bring home some of the best pussy in the universe. What was the job in the Ukraine? How did you get a work visa so fast? Was it easy to get a visa in Ukraine?

Quote: (10-21-2015 03:35 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

Quote: (10-20-2015 10:17 PM)~wrIghter~ Wrote:  

Quote: (10-19-2015 04:09 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I have a girlfriend for several years, she is great and loyal except that she has a colleague at work that she works with him for 4 years and they became very close. They work at the same department and see each other everyday for the whole day, sometimes they even stay alone at the office when there is stuff to finish. I trust her but I'm sure that he would like to fuck her and he seeks for an opportunity, he is too nice to her. I told her to end this shit but she told me that he became her best friend.
I can't ask her to leave her job because her salary is pretty good(Chemical Engineer) and she will hate me if I fuck up her career.

I moved to Ukraine for a month and consider staying here if I leave her, I told her about that and she cried for several days and begged me to stay with her. She knows what's the issue and that I don't like her friend. I still have feelings for her so it's hard to leave, but Ukraine is really good.

Sound like me a year ago. The sooner you let go, the better. Everyone here has made pretty good points. Its amazing man, I made all of the same errors (showing emotions, asking her to stop hanging). The funny part is that you're not the only cat facing this, we've either been through it or it hasn't happened yet for some.

There's a good chance that she is smashing this dude. I know you'd like to believe everything she says but you should focus on yourself and eliminating toxic people from your life. My last LTR had begun to hang out with a co-worker from her job a lot and I was out of state. After calling her out on it, she began to see him more behind my back, and she eventually broke up with me.

I wrote on some forum, gave a detailed background, and had people (strangers) give me advice I didn't want to hear. My regret was not following that advice. Shit was painful. Keep your head up and do what needs to be done.

Your situation was easier because she was the one that broke up with you. By the way, after the break up has she dated the co-worker?
I found a job in Ukraine and decided to stay. She tells me she wants to move here and stay with me

They got married and had a kid. So I kind of dodged a bullet. I was headed down the same route and I hadn't even graduated from college or had a place of my own yet. She had co-workers influencing that she dated this dude while her and I were on good terms.

I gave her an ultimatum and she chose to be with him, but chances are she had chosen him way before we had come to that conclusion.

Based on what you have posted and how you seem very concerned about her loyalty to you; I suggest you just end it now. It's not healthy to be paranoid about your girlfriend fucking her coworker especially since she refers to the guy coworker as a best friend and that they spend all day together. Eventually when you spend all day with someone of the opposite sex day in and day out a bond is created and an attraction well likely build up.

You have to ask yourself do you want to end the relationship now while you still have your sanity and a clear mindset or do you want to wait till you catch her cheating on you then end it in an emotional fit of fury after so much time has passed by?

If you have to wonder where you stand with someone then it's time to stop standing and walking. That person is either gonna watch you walk away and do nothing or they are gonna walk with you and be by yourside for beget or worse.

I'm in my thirties and it's hard to end this, all these years thrown into garbage. I just don't want to regret my decision in the future, she could be the perfect wife and mother of my future children. She is exactly how I like it in all the other areas like cooking etc. except this non-sense with the coworker.

Quote: (11-03-2015 07:49 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I'm in my thirties and it's hard to end this, all these years thrown into garbage. I just don't want to regret my decision in the future, she could be the perfect wife and mother of my future children. She is exactly how I like it in all the other areas like cooking etc. except this non-sense with the coworker.

You're in your peak years. You've already set down your terms to her, though maybe not as firmly as I would have, so you have to keep that frame. This situation is going to get worse, not better, it won't peter out on its own.

Best case, she smells the smoke and finally does what is wrong. "Worst" case, you're free.

I'm going to propose some advice contrary to the other posters

"Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly"

I do not care about beta orbiters, but I do care when someone who knows who i am is actively trying to get a whiff of my girls pussy. I was the same way in my day, if I knew a girl had a 'boyfriend' that was just a nameless, faceless entity I was not deterred from my pursuit. But if I had met the guy, and shook his hand and at least acknowledged his presence I knew was stepping in riskier territory by continuing my quest for the bang.

You must insert yourself into their relationship. First, hang out with the both of them together, add him as a friend on facebook, etc, make it very awkward. Second, engage him in individual conversations. Ask why he is single, that there must be some attractive girls out there that don't already have boyfriends...That is your bomb, the springing of the trap so to say. He is now put on the defensive. He has to justify why he, as a single man, has chosen to have your girlfriend as a 'best friend'. He may not say anything, but he will certainly know that he 'has been put on watch'

sidenote: If he is not single, escalate the fake friendship and invite his wife/girlfriend along as well, become friends with her. That will really freak him out if he also senses that you "know whats up"

If this guy is at all human, he will get freaked out if he was trying to, or is actively banging your girlfriend. He is a man, and can think logically, and can assess the risk of shit coming down on him now that you are 'aware' of what is going on and will likely back away. When I was banging married women, they would blow their husbands off as "no risk" or "nothing"...because they are women, but I, the man, was always the one to cut shit off because I felt the risk of high drama was too extreme.

Result: Your girlfriend is going to be pissed off at you. She will accuse you of being weird, paranoid, messing around in her life etc and one of two thing will happen. 1. She will try even harder to see this guy on the 'down low' or 2. She will complain for a while and then continue on with your life together. Either way, the loss of attention from this other guy will upset her and she will pursue him for answers. If he is a risk taker/reckless her increased pursuit will lead him to bang her. If he has a sense of self preservation he will stay away from her.

Either way, this approach will bring your relationship to a resolution. It will be stable, or end. That is an outcome that I am fine with, I hate when it is in "limbo".

TL;DR - I advise AMOG...but not in a caveman style, in a cerebral way.

Quote: (11-03-2015 08:31 AM)The Nude Matador Wrote:  

Quote: (11-03-2015 07:49 AM)mntrsx Wrote:  

I'm in my thirties and it's hard to end this, all these years thrown into garbage. I just don't want to regret my decision in the future, she could be the perfect wife and mother of my future children. She is exactly how I like it in all the other areas like cooking etc. except this non-sense with the coworker.

You're in your peak years. You've already set down your terms to her, though maybe not as firmly as I would have, so you have to keep that frame. This situation is going to get worse, not better, it won't peter out on its own.

Best case, she smells the smoke and finally does what is wrong. "Worst" case, you're free.

Should I tell her that I want to break up without explaining too much? I tried to be gentle till now

Quote: (11-03-2015 09:32 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

I'm going to propose some advice contrary to the other posters

"Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly"

I do not care about beta orbiters, but I do care when someone who knows who i am is actively trying to get a whiff of my girls pussy. I was the same way in my day, if I knew a girl had a 'boyfriend' that was just a nameless, faceless entity I was not deterred from my pursuit. But if I had met the guy, and shook his hand and at least acknowledged his presence I knew was stepping in riskier territory by continuing my quest for the bang.

You must insert yourself into their relationship. First, hang out with the both of them together, add him as a friend on facebook, etc, make it very awkward. Second, engage him in individual conversations. Ask why he is single, that there must be some attractive girls out there that don't already have boyfriends...That is your bomb, the springing of the trap so to say. He is now put on the defensive. He has to justify why he, as a single man, has chosen to have your girlfriend as a 'best friend'. He may not say anything, but he will certainly know that he 'has been put on watch'

sidenote: If he is not single, escalate the fake friendship and invite his wife/girlfriend along as well, become friends with her. That will really freak him out if he also senses that you "know whats up"

If this guy is at all human, he will get freaked out if he was trying to, or is actively banging your girlfriend. He is a man, and can think logically, and can assess the risk of shit coming down on him now that you are 'aware' of what is going on and will likely back away. When I was banging married women, they would blow their husbands off as "no risk" or "nothing"...because they are women, but I, the man, was always the one to cut shit off because I felt the risk of high drama was too extreme.

Result: Your girlfriend is going to be pissed off at you. She will accuse you of being weird, paranoid, messing around in her life etc and one of two thing will happen. 1. She will try even harder to see this guy on the 'down low' or 2. She will complain for a while and then continue on with your life together. Either way, the loss of attention from this other guy will upset her and she will pursue him for answers. If he is a risk taker/reckless her increased pursuit will lead him to bang her. If he has a sense of self preservation he will stay away from her.

Either way, this approach will bring your relationship to a resolution. It will be stable, or end. That is an outcome that I am fine with, I hate when it is in "limbo".

TL;DR - I advise AMOG...but not in a caveman style, in a cerebral way.

He knows that I don't like him(she told him).
In the past he tried to invite us both to hang out with him.
I can't figure out what his game is, I don't want to hang out with this fag, prefer to punch him.

Game some girls in Ukraine.
You won't worry so much about the other girl.

The moment you've worried (and told her) is the one you've lost frame.
Dried pussy and cheating is one (very close) step away.

I'm in a similar situation, and trying to think of how to deal with it is an interesting exercise. There are a couple of options which have been mentioned, including:
1). Confront the guy
2). Confront her
3). Go cold and induce dread in her

My opinions on all of them are:
1). I can't justify this because the guy is doing what guys do. It's expected, and honestly, should be happening, because who wants to date someone who no one except you thinks is hot. End result: confrontation leads to huge showing of weakness and beta. Avoid.

2). No matter what you say, she will exercise plausible deniability (ie. "I was only talking to him..." Etc.). End result is you look insecure as shit and she's running for the closest exit. Again, avoid.

3). As has been mentioned, you don't talk to her for a couple days. This is a gamble and a half. On one hand, she may realise what she is missing, and come back to you hard. On the other hand she may fall into that orbiters willing hands and bang him. A lot of factors are involved in this end result.

The greatest chance for success must be option three. In none of the others will you maintain your frame, and not come across as a needy bitch. I think unfortunately when this thing starts happening, the relationship is on the decline. Your one and only shot is to deploy your nuke: option three.

A really important aspect of option three though is that you cannot come back as the guy you were before, as per one of the previous posts indicated. If you do this and she sees that it was a tactic for getting her back, then it's all over. It takes discipline. As Patrice O'Neal said in one of his rants, it's tough to be hard to someone you care about. It must, however, be done.