Hit the tipping point - it's 9PM on a Thursday here in Tucson and I just went to the bars to attempt night game.
The bars were completely dead, except for one: it had exactly 19 men and two girls. One girl was surrounded by five tall, muscled men. No chance. The other girl was alone with her boyfriend.
This same thing happened to me in Phoenix this weekend, where the guy:girl ratio in both Phoenix and Scottsdale was 4:1 and 6:1, respectively.

I can't figure out how a man and a woman meet. It's not supposed to happen at work, and nightlife is a huge sausagefest!
Day game is inherently hard, though, because every frickin' girl on earth is constantly buried in her iPhone with headphones in.

I'd be willing to bet that the vast majority of American men with a girlfriend did NOT cold approach her with day game. So how does it happen?

This post is to express my frustration at getting started in game and hear what the users of this blog have to say to a newbie in a struggle so deep that the reality of this community is in question. My two questions are:
How and where does a man meet a woman?
How does the woman become attracted to him, and have sex with him?

I have been intensely studying Roosh's works and forum and other PUA material for six months. I understand well the theories and how it should work. But it doesn't. Not for me.

One of Roosh's most weighty posts states that game comes down to being COOL and being INTERESTING. I have both of them, but only one notch, earned at age 25 in Paris - a gorgeous French-Asian girl that was largely initially attracted to me because of my 'exotic' American nationality. We met daytime in a tourist office, and it took six months - six months - to get the bang. Afterwards, I told her I was a virgin. She looked confused, and said she thought I was sleeping with women all over the world, 'like James Bond'.

Myself: Age 26, currently a grad student, American, blonde hair blue eyes, average male height, excellent physique, physically 7/10. Social skills slightly above average. I work in healthcare. Here is a video of me being interviewed on the news in China:
21K4TG in China

I'm going to be bold and say that I have had more amazing experiences then 99% of people my age, and make sure to subtly but confidently broadcast them in conversation. These are mostly travel-related, from flying solo to Ecuador to work in an infectious disease clinic in the Amazon to independently researching environmental issues in tropical Indonesia.
The best? A year and a half ago I quit my job, bought a bicycle and spent 14 months riding it, starting in South Africa and finishing in China, a distance of over 21,000 kilometers. I slept in caves and mosques, was violently robbed in Lesotho in broad daylight, met an African teenager who had never heard of New York, was stalked by bears, gypsies, and The World's Largest Centipede, climbed Mt. Olympus, and was uncomfortably hit on by a pretty but toothless Burmese girl on a palm oil plantation.
I also have played fencing and ice hockey, can cook amazing Asian and Mexican dishes, worked as a snowboard instructor, and am a polyglot, speaking fluent Spanish, intermediate Indonesian, and basic Chinese and Malay.
I make sure leak out these values in conversations, with a decent vibe as the above video indicated.

This has been my life; some may find it boring, but I think I'm totally awesome. Isn't that what matters, in game and in life? I KNOW I am both cool and interesting.

But girls don't.

My game is novice at best.
But there are far, far, far duller, uglier, drier and more sexually unappealing guys out there that get ten times more notches then me, without having any game.
Why?

Those guys you talk about getting notches are more fun and are cooler than you. Proof is in the pudding. You need to face this reality head on.

You seem like a guy that likes to hear himself talk. People dislike that. Especially chicks.

A Russian saying goes: "Be simpler and people will be drawn to you"

Look man, people and chicks don't "buy" things based on facts first. Think conceptual. You're listing ALL these details about what you've done, how you're fucking cool...no one gives a shit. Think about the last thing you bought. Did you instantly need to know every single detail to make a decision? Hell no, probably not. People buy into concept first. If you're not presenting yourself as a fun and cool/charming guy to be around, then THIS is what's turning people away from you. They could care less about your details if they're not buying into you first.

So what to do? Join a social club or some group, on-line dating, day game/night game. There are tons of ways to meet people, so drop that thought.

1 notch at 26 is something to feel bad about. Luckily you have this forum. But again, don't read everything under the sun and expect to be amazing at game. You just have to put in the work. But first things first, only having 1 notch at this stage means you really need to relax and get your mental straight. I'd recommend seeking some hookers. If you really feel you can't go through with that, then do whatever it takes to meet a girl and escalate (another thing I doubt you're doing). While you're possibly dating her, keep trying to find new girls and adding them to your rotation. This is maybe a bit too advanced for you right now, but it's worth the try. Just remember one simple thing: Never see any chick more than twice a week unless you want her to start thinking she's your main chick. Manage, manage and manage your chick. Don't let her manage you.

No one gets laid. We've been lying to you forever. Your dad and mom never fuarked. They actually had you in a test toobe.

Clue: you used the words "amazing" and "awesome" several times in your post. OK, you were frustrated when you wrote that post. But don't use those words, especially applied to yourself.

Pretty sure you smile too much, talk too much, and come across as needy.

The primary way people get together is through social ties: school, work, hobbies/interests, etc. These networks are the product of years of being an outgoing, well-adjusted person who talks to the people around him and forges connections with them. Aside from the commonalities of time, place and theme, such circles will form based on the lines of factors such as Looks, Money, Age and Race. Depending on how promiscuous or straight-laced the circle is, over time, couples will pair off based on value or "league", or, "hookups" will occur at sporadic alcohol-fueled party events.

The secondary way is meeting girls cold, at night, during the day, or online. While quite viable years ago for the everyman, due to the explosion of social media unfortunately these avenues are dying out and slowly becoming the monopolized domain of guys with 8+/10 looks.

What this means is that if you're unremarkable in looks (such that you'd be locked out of the high-flying world of cold approach) AND you were a DIY loner in your teens and twenties (such that you haven't built up social ties to draw on to draw on), then you're in big fucking trouble and an incel life awaits you.

Fixing this takes 4 steps:

1) Work on your looks - the most important thing
2) Put yourself out there - engage in hobbies/interests you enjoy and make friends
3) Learn to spam approach - what modern Anglo pick up requires
4) Relocate to a better city - demographics and local culture matter

As for your varied travel experiences, yeah, women don't care much for that. Sorry. Women are primitive and simple. Your 'personality' only starts to matters to them once you've met their basic value threshold. It doesn't directly wet the pussy, it moreso "rounds you out" after the fact. This is especially so in cold approach.

Also, if you're legitimately autistic/aspie then all of this will of little help.

Since you put yourself out there with your face and are open about it, I'll give you my 2 cents:

First about yourself:

+ You need to cover your basics first - you are not good-looking - average or even below average
+ you are in shape, but it's better to start lifting for a time to appear more masculine - it will raise your testosterone
+ unfortunately you have a few mannerisms, behavioral patterns when you talk and act that make you rather unattractive to women - you can change that by watching yourself, becoming more toned and more intense with women, you don't even need to smile that much - certainly not in the way you do. I am not telling you to become someone else, but to become a stronger more attractive version of yourself, because what you are doing now does not work.
+ wardrobe - I would not find myself in that kind of clothes even when riding a bike in a 3rd world country. Check out the forum on r-selected style looks like. For starters - long pants, no visible socks, no khakis (until being James Bond), dark colors.

You visited all those countries, where gender-ratios are more normal and you have a huge value there and neglected to sleep with any woman, why? It is good that you focused on your life, but it's obvious that the times when you would attract a woman just by being a nice guy who had his other shit together - those times are gone.

As far as your Tucson night-club experience is concerned. Most guys when entering a club and seeing a 2-19 or even a 1-6 f/m ratio, would just turn around and leave. Women get an enormous entitlement complex even when the ratio is 30-70. Those guys that can pull in a 1-6 environment are the top of the spectrum and even many of them don't care to do it, because it becomes much more difficult on that night.

Of course it's not all bad. You live an exciting life, have your shit together, are healthy, are intelligent. With the right changes you can look similar to Daniel Craig and could actually pull off that masculine, quasi-ugly, but good-looking vibe.

The main difference of course is that he has a charismatic intense look:



So my recommendation is go and Daniel Craig your look via fitness and style, look at yourself in the mirror and see how you act. It's ok in the beginning to play a role. Play James Bond, play Daniel Craig - the girl you mentioned probably did not say something like that as a coincidence. Try to emulate his intensity a bit. Even small improvements go a long way with women, since you are not aiming for Victoria Secret models here.

As far as Game is concerned - when you learn it, it will become part of your personality when dealing with women. You will see that it is great fun, if you understand the patterns.

I would recommend the following authors:

Basic understanding / part theory & examples:
Rational Male - blog and books for understanding female nature and why Game works
Heartiste - don't let the far right stuff scare you away, read old posts, invaluable tips to break your understanding

Actual Game:
Roosh - Bang & Day Bang (indirect Daygame)
Krauser - check out his blog, but also all beginner and intermediate products - his focus is more on Daygame which is probably easier in the West for the average - his expertise is more Direct Game - it's good to know both approaches - Indirect Daygame will be easier for you, but if you work on your Daniel Craig intensity, then direct is a good way to test out as well
Daygame.com - they have good products like the Girlfriend Sequence on offer & they offer good bootcamps in London, sometimes they even have bootcamps in the US and other cities in Europe
Tom Torrero - despite some controversy I still consider him excellent in Game and he offers personal coachings in Europe. Like other men he was not blessed in the looks department and does good despite that.

The reason I mention bootcamp or even direct counseling in your case is because you are already a late-stage starter and your post shows that you do not correctly assess your situation and what women really want.

Stay away from RSD, that will only confuse you and is overpriced. You can check out some of their stuff online, but you need something more basic and well-grounded.

Also - we don't need to convince you of Game. I personally just like to help the fellow man out there. Game works, even mainstream female journalists who visited Pick-up-artist bootcamps said so. If you convince yourself that only looks, height and great wealth can help you, then you are on a dark path that will lead you only to hate, anger and powerlessness.

Acknowledge your weaknesses, accept the situation as you are, study Game, visit a bootcamp or get a coach, put in the approaches and you will get a cute girlfriend. After having gotten that GF you use LTR-Game that can be learned too - it's nothing special really, just a way to be your masculine self and have a woman live in your Frame instead of the opposite. That way you keep that girlfriend as well. If there is no decent pro-PUA bootcamp where you are right now, then you can meetup with a fellow RVF member who has some experience and he can give you pointers in real life.

Also I might add - you are a blonde Westerner - in South America, SEA, Asia - you have a huge attraction advantage, if you apply a modicum of what I mentioned above. So notch count of 1 can be notch count 100 in 2-3 years, if you go to Asia - no need to pay for sex and it's not advisable in your case.

Firstly, making judgements based on 1 bad night will not help you. Gaming is not for the light-hearted, it is a war with battles that are won and lost daily, but with hard work and a consistent, get-up-next-day attitude, you can make measurable gains.

I have found nothing in your emotional diatribe that tells me that you have explored:
a. actionable self-improvement with respect to game (RVF forum memorization DOES NOT COUNT)
b. explored all avenues to getting laid

Tucon, Phoenix, Scottsdale should be teeming with out-of-state sluts from california, nevada, colder climates. A quick google search shows me the list of universities in Tuscon. Another google search shows me the distance to one of the skankiest party locations in the US. A 3rd google search shows me the distance to the one of the premier party schools in america that attracts all the hot blonde sluts from OC. It is practically a resort and is a mere 1.5 hours away. Hell, even thedirty.com was created in Arizona.

Look, you may think you are cool and awesome. But chicks will not magically discover that. If you are serious about getting laid please do the following:

• Stop whining. The up's and down's in the journey to getting the women you want are severe. Have patience and put in the effort. Members on this forum travel to different continents to search for the women they desire. How strong is your will?
• Get serious about meeting women
• Consume the Approach thread and pay attention to Giovanny's posts
• See how an awesome and dedicated plan works out over time by reading Travesty's approach diary. I've personally read it end to end multiple times.
• Read another approach diary that is unfolding that shows you how experience improves game over time with hard work: Ligate Approach diary
• Since you are very cool and blonde and good looking you should absolutely be paying attention to a legendary thread in development - Linux's Columbia thread
• If you are serious about game, you need to explore all avenues for bone including online. I'll leave it as an incredibly easy exercise to locate the okc and tinder threads, the photo thread by B7, the text messaging thread and finally the Tut first bang thread and the zero bang thread by B7
  

Finally…examine your life. Look at the chunks of time you can use to employ some of the strategies the threads above prescribe. Every moment will give you a chance to meet a women. You will fucking forget ratios and start becoming overwhelmed by opportunities. The main question in your life will become not where to find women but are you ready or do you even know what to do when they present themselves to you.

Honestly, You sound really fucking whiny.

Sorry that game is hard? Sorry that you were born in a time where having a good job and being a certain colour was not enough? There are players on this forum who are short, bald, minorities who pull consistently in their cities. Why should they justify themselves to you when you're a guy with 1 post who is crying that the world is not bowing to your demands. How many approaches have you done?

You "studied" roosh's teachings for six months? Great job. Any loser can buy a book and "study" but few losers can go out and really approach.

You say you're "interesting and cool" but you haven't really told us anything that is interesting and cool. People quit their jobs everyday. That's not cool or interesting. Being white and "attractive" is not enough. If you told the people where I live that you quit your job they would just at you funny and talk trash about you.

Show us a video of your approaches. If you're so quick to dismiss game, then show us your game. Show us that you're this super alpha with everything going for him.

When I read stories here about guys who are deaf, bald, short, out of shape but trying to get fit, not rich, bad logistics and they still pull or atleast try and are getting better, it makes me less and less understanding of your situation and more reluctant to think you are another guy with a "can't do attitude" who feels like he needs to blame factors that only he can impact and change. Go to your bathroom, take off your clothes and look at the mirror then grab on your balls and repeat "I will be a man, I will be a man, I will be a man"

Quote: (05-28-2015 11:47 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  

My game is novice at best.
But there are far, far, far duller, uglier, drier and more sexually unappealing guys out there that get ten times more notches then me, without having any game.
Why?

This sounds like thegreenman all over again.

You're really overthinking this. You're trying to meet women in person with the mental model of an online dating profile. Yeah, you've had cool adventures, and that sounds great in a writeup and you probably have some good pictures... but none of that shit matters, and unless you can drop some of that casually in conversation you run the risk of coming off like a self-important douchebag. You're all wrapped up in showing off how awesome you are, but are you any good about making a chick feel special? All your accomplishments don't mean anything to her unless she sees herself fitting in with them somehow.

My game is novice at best too, but these observations are things I've seen in myself.

Other people have been touching on it, so I think you can see that you need to make sure that women feel excited to be around you, not simply you being excited over yourself.

As far as nightgame, I've had dismal luck in some times, and fared far better in others. College bars are by far the best for my appeal, but a huge amount of bangs didn't come from the bars- they came from my social circle.

Make 5 new friends a week, and pretty soon you'll have "friend of a friend' female options lying around all the time. You say you work in healthcare, which means you're surrounded by females with female friends. Don't shit where you eat, but use what social connections you already have to make more

Having all those experiences is great but it sounds like your presentation is turning them into a negative. Girls don't want to hear your resume and forcing these things into a conversation comes off as trying too hard (aka female repellant). Throw out some subtle hints in the course of a conversation without forcing it - pique her interest and let her work a bit to unravel your story.

Pretty much everyone I know who is with a partner either met them through work, met them through a work colleague, or knew them at school/college etc and hooked up on facebook. Due to this most of them are not good matches and therefore are in shit relationships.

Anyway - this is gold:

Quote: (05-29-2015 07:42 AM)RockHard Wrote:  

are you any good about making a chick feel special?

edit - you seem like a nice bloke, I wish you well in your endevours.

OP...how many times you got rejected,let's say in the last 6 months? I bet you don't even try!
Tucson is tough! Lots of lesbians. If you don't go to UofA - you are basically screwed as far as access to women. Do yourself a favor and get out of that awkward town!

Stop talking about how awesome you think you are too. I can almost guarantee that is your problem. To a woman it's almost as bad as having a mouth full of jacked up teeth

Quote: (05-29-2015 02:40 PM)RURALGAMER Wrote:  

Stop talking about how awesome you think you are too. I can almost guarantee that is your problem. To anyone it's almost as bad as having a mouth full of jacked up teeth

Fix that for ya.

If you run around doing that and run into one of the RVF members, be sure to get called out on your BS or AMOG into pussy oblivion.

Thats lucky if you dont run into little dark

My reaction to the video.

Also attempting 'night' game on a week day at dinner time isn't your best bet. Try weekends after 11pm.

Like others have said, join the gym.

I almost never venture into the newbie forum but I saw the post title on the index and couldn't help.

My first question about the OP is are you socially normal? Nobody here has met you and you may have Asperger's for all we know, in which case there'd be little anyone can say to help you. Do you have a social circle? Do you have friends who are socially normal people themselves? Can you make people laugh? Do both men and women enjoy socializing with you? If the honest answer is yes, then you can move on to getting your game in order. But if the answer is no, then I think you need to work on your social fundamentals before worrying about game. There are guys there who have lots of friends and are quite popular but they don't know how to parley that into building attraction with women so they end up being orbiters that girls love to keep in their friendzone. That's at least a fixable problem. But if you're the type of person that people avoid like the plague, forgot about learning game for now and focus on developing the requisite social intelligence to make people want to be around you in the first place.

Not to make you feel bad, but if you're a blonde white dude and can't get any action in Asia and Latin America, you must have negative game. I mean I've seen some of the most dorkiest and ugly white dudes pull from places like Peru and the Philippines. Guys that would probably be virgins if they never left the USA.

Quote: (05-28-2015 11:47 PM)21K4TG Wrote:  

I slept in caves and mosques, was violently robbed in Lesotho in broad daylight, met an African teenager who had never heard of New York, was stalked by bears, gypsies, and The World's Largest Centipede, climbed Mt. Olympus, and was uncomfortably hit on by a pretty but toothless Burmese girl on a palm oil plantation.

I also have played fencing and ice hockey, can cook amazing Asian and Mexican dishes, worked as a snowboard instructor, and am a polyglot, speaking fluent Spanish, intermediate Indonesian, and basic Chinese and Malay.

as an avid everyday cyclist, I first thought that your bicycle adventure was really cool! now are you ready for a couple first impressions?

when i saw the preview image, i thought I was looking at one of those Mormon dudes that I always see on college campuses. Then the video started and the first thing I thought was, "NERD!"... after skipping through some frames of what looked like a clip from Reading Rainbow (with a white guy). You look like someone that would get mugged in broad daylight, in public. after skipping some frames I landed on a part where you were talking about yourself and I turned it off.

But obviously an adventure like that does take big balls, these were just the first impressions to some nobody on the internet.

but you're right, that ratio sucks. I'd have bounced.

I've banged girls from work, but I work in the food industry so who cares. my position is one where my intelligence, strength, skill, and dominance are all on display and we all know those are attractive traits.

Anyway, check out body language

I think this guy has potential, I think he's just a bit social awkward, and may have some other issues we're not aware of. But he seems pretty cool, I dig his bicycle trip, and all his travels, he just needs to not "try so hard" to show and tell everyone about how cool he is and assume girls are going to be impressed because of it. One mistake I made as a newbie was trying to hard to impress girls, and it always had the opposite effect.