I've been thinking about writing the following for some weeks now, but I've been having trouble with phrasing things in a way that doesn't sound whiny. But these numbers fit with what I've been experiencing, which is the following: looks-wise, I've got nothing to complain about with the women I've been seeing. No substantial deviation from the past. But emotionally speaking, I'm blown away by the callousness and outright cruelty that's present in them. Dating used to be fun - these days it's like an extended psychological struggle, and I'm thinking of going back to celibacy because the companionship is 0, and the sex is just not worth it.
So with that said, let's dig into these numbers.
2008: 1/10 men in their twenties are incel.
This is probably the historical norm - 5-10% of men lose the genetic lottery (more variation in our sex) and a certain percentage of them simply don't deserve a woman. These are the Omegas in Sociosexual hierarchy. The basement dwelling neckbeards, who reek of desperation and video games. Nothing to see here.
2018: 3/10 men in their twenties are incel.
At first blush, these numbers might suggest that women are getting more picky - the top 20% of men are getting an increasing share of the sexual market. But I have reason to suspect that this isn't the case. 33% of those incels are the same Omegas from yesteryear - but the other 67%? Are they the 2/10 and the 3/10 guys? I'm not so sure about that. There have been some major shifts if the female population over the past decade.
1) Birth Control & Aspergers
There was a report that came out recently (points to whomever can find the thread we had on this) showing that the birth control pill causes temporary Asperger-like symptoms in women. Let's be precise in what this means: it does not mean "They turn into a geek that likes to collect comic books." It means that somebody has difficulty recognizing or understanding emotional cues, particularly the more complex ones. Women tend to get the same enjoyment out of talking that we get out of building, so aspie women aren't obviously socially dysfunctional the way aspie men are. But they
are dysfunctional. Relationship-wise, they'll fail to understand what effect they're having on you with their words and actions. For instance, if they say something nasty and hurtful, the emotion displayed on your face - pain and frustration that somebody you care about is being so insulting - will be interpreted as simple anger.
How can you be around somebody who accuses you of feeling one thing, and refuses to believe otherwise? No matter what you say, her brain is telling her "Emotion Identified: Anger" and any protestations otherwise on your part will be read as manipulation.
Widespread antideperessant and antipsychotic usage likely contributes to this emotional coldness as well.
2) Cultural disrespect for men
We all see this; we all know what this is. Men are depicted as foolish, brutish, simple creatures in most media. Even 'positive' depictions of masculinity lack nuance; Rappers, Action Heroes quipping one-liners, showboating athletes. Heck, look at the bubble-gum media: Luke Skywalker encountered hard moral dilemmas, weighing his commitment to family and friends vs the Force. He was
thoughtful. Is there anything remotely close to that in the new Star Wars or Marvel movies?
Masculinity has been reduced to a plastic shell. Certain women have complained in the past about the 'supermodel' culture, where a woman's worth is reduced to her bust size. Men have been similarly reduced, and this is exacerbated by the inability of women to recognize emotion, pointed out in 1).
3) Pro-woman culture
Let's just bullet-point some of the artificial advantages women have here:
- Various incentive programs giving women an unearned advantage over men in school and the workplace,
- Women can do anything a man can do, and do it better, and men can't do what a woman can do - so what are men useful for?
- A lack of sexual shaming, enabling women to do whatever they want with their pussies - post it all over the net, use it to manipulate beta orbiters, cheat on their husbands, et cetera. "I've got the pussy, and I can do whatever I want with it!"
- A legal system which bends over backwards to protect their interests: when the courts go out of their way to punish domestic violence... let me clarify something here: domestic violence is wrong! But - sometimes it happened because the woman was using her tongue like a knife, ripping into her husband until he snapped. These days, women have no reason to hold back, and some will lay into you with impudence, while smiling because you can't do anything in return.
- General permissiveness and hedonism; widespread drug use; radical individualism which argues that nobody has any obligation to others - not to their parents, not to their friends or lovers, and not to society.
To sum it all up - women have been so puffed up that they act like they're goddesses. Nothing they do is wrong - cheating on their boyfriend, stealing from their employers, being overweight - all of these things are celebrated. Meanwhile, men are demonized if they don't provide the utility which women want. I forget the four-stages of rationalization that AnonymousBosch laid out, but one of them really stuck with me: "Anything I want,
I deserve."
All of this taken together: the women in the west have about as much respect and love for men, as the soldiers in Ghengis Khan's horde had for women! Reciprocity is gone, amongst all but the most exceptional women; the majority feel entitled to anything and everything from the men, while any request for equal consideration is considered a vile form of "male entitlement".
Unicorn Hunting?
I've had some people misunderstand me when I've spoken about this, and think that I'm unicorn hunting: looking for that perfect catgirl/waifu who'll pat me on the head for winning a video game, and celebrate my mediocrity. That's not it at all. I'm looking for a woman who knows that she inherited Eve's sin, and does what she can to fight against it - even if she fails regularly.
This particular biblical story is about how men and women screw up their relationships with each other. Eve allows herself to be deceived, feels entitled to whatever she wants, and sneakily seizes control of the relationship from Adam - leading, when she should be following. Adam, meanwhile, acts like the Beta - "Happy wife, happy life!" he says, as he knowingly goes along with her stupid idea, because he's too lazy to take control or responsibility, and her pussy just smelled that good.
The nature of women - to fitness-test her mate, to selectively choose the Alpha over the Beta, to gather up a store of resources to provide for her children - these are natural and good.
I love a woman that loves me for being a badass. What Eve's sin implies is that they take these naturally good things, and go too far with them. Instead of fitness testing, you get nuclear shit tests. Instead of preparing for a rainy day, women justify monkey-branching at the drop of a hat.
I know one woman - my buddy's girlfriend - who actively resists the extremes here, and delights in nurturing him. Instead of trying to undermine him, she uses her feminine wiles to encourage him to be more Alpha. She's not a stupid woman, either; nor is she particular submissive. She's smart, judgmental, insightful - but she's also aware that human nature is prone to going bad, so she tries to make herself good.
Sadly, she is the exception. Most women feel absolute no obligation to men, and are more than happy to extract whatever they want while offering nothing in return.
Who's banging these bitches?
10% of the incels are losers; but are the remaining 20% the Deltas or Betas that don't measure up?
I'm not so sure about that.
I see a lot of suggestive evidence that the some of men who succeed in this environment are not Alpha in the sort of way that we'd describe - a lot of them are out of shape, their sexual equipment is questionable, and they're not particularly wealthy. So what is their advantage?
Low emotional affect. Which is to say, borderline psychopathy.
The entitlement-complex infesting most women has effectively turned them into psychopaths; they're not psychopaths clinically speaking, but because the culture has taught them that men don't have souls, they treat men with utter callousness. So, the only sort of men who can tolerate their company for an extended period of time are those who similarly lack affect. Those who are after one thing, and are willing to lie and manipulate to get it.
We have a coarsened culture, with coarse women, and a coarse dating scene. Those who will dropping out from this aren't necessarily the chumps - they're the men who have souls.