Quote: (12-08-2018 12:16 PM)Hoo Wrote:
This is scary and a good reminder of how bad we guys are at reading (manipulative)women. He seems like a smart guy and you better believe he had 0 idea of what's really going on. They probably cuddled and planned the next 20 years together the day before she revealed her true colors.
Not nearly as bad, but a short personal story: I had GF for 3 years who I thought was my soulmate, everything perfect... We always talked about traveling and later settling down somewhere abroad together.
When it was time to go she broke down and confessed that she always hated the idea of going anywhere and was just "playing along" to make me happy and stay together. She even said she was always extremely annoyed every time we talked about this... I couldn't believe it, I thought she was even more enthusiastic about it than me. For 3 years and I had NO CLUE. I thought I was good at reading people... nope.
She begged me to stay and I almost did, but part of me was just DONE and I knew I couldn't postpone my dreams anymore... So I went alone(trying to do long distance relationship at first) but got over her in like a week - special thanks to some lovely latinas
Lesson learned.
I have also had this happen. Both on the micro (a girl pretending to agree with me on important topics just to get sex) as well as on the macro (two-year relationship founded on a lie).
Never, ever listen to what a woman says. A woman's instincts drive her to get along with the group; to avoid making waves. When she wants something, she'll never go about it directly. Instead, it's covert action and manipulation. With men, we usually say what we mean. And if we don't, the reason should be obvious (e.g. giving a shitbird employee a good review to avoid bad blood, actionable lawsuits, and to hopefully pawn him off on a competitor). We don't have time for elaborate manipulation games. But with women, they have all the time in the world; even if there's no reason to be manipulative, they will be. It's as certain as a cat sleeping in the sunlight.
So watch what they do. Watch what they pay attention to. Pay attention to times they're
actually being selfish - that's who they actually are, you can trust that part of them. If you can, get a female confidant who can evaluate them for you because she knows their game (while keeping in mind that your female friend will be jealous, because she wants your resources too).
At the end of the day, actions speak louder than words.